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In Memory of Kay

Love. Always. Forever.

 —“Do not go gentle into that good night. … Rage, rage against
the dying of the light.”  –Dylan Thomas

DAY 1:        it’s been 7 months, 2 weeks, and 5 days since the lights went out in my universe.

I’m afraid to go forward.   I’m afraid to let go.  The past hurts me.

There are things worst than death.

Living with a partial heart & soul is of them.

I carry this burden, this trauma, this deep loss…I carry it….

don’t know how to lay it down. 

I have a sense people are sick of my bullshit, my lamenting, my screaming, my anger, my negativity, my loneliness, and mostly, mostly…

    my lack of existing.

And the thing is….I don’t give a damn what they think.  I don’t give a damn. 

I am already with the people who love me. Continue Reading

Kim's Blogs


~The beautiful people” are beginning to make me ill. When Katie Holmes’s haircut makes national news and Paris Hilton’s jail time is more significant than Darfur, it makes me angry as hell. Are these people [media] really serious? As a nation, are we truly so indifferent and uninterested with our own lives that Katie’s new hair-doo gives us enjoyment, pleasure, some sort of fulfillment? What are we trying to fill? What is lacking in our existence? Ask yourselves this question, pleeeeease.
Excuuuuuse me… but have you heard there’s a little war going on in Iraq? Have you heard of a place called Africa, where 2.1 million adults and children have died of aids? Have you heard anything at all? Has anybody read a book lately? (I recommend “Three Cups of Tea.)”


When Brittany Spear’s drug abuse, alcohol neglect and parenting skills are up for debate, I am wondering why we should give a damn! Why are these irrelevant events making CNN? Let me tell you, and you know I will; I’m getting a little anxious about all of this insignificance nothingness, this plague of meaninglessness, this celebrity mania.
They say American students are lower in reading and math than other countries, and it’s true. Jay Leno has a segment on his program where he goes into the streets of Beverly Hills, Hollywood, wherever, showing people pictures of political figures:   Cheney, Churchill,  Thatcher,  Mandela, and  Obama…you get the picture… 
Honestly even the students with Master’s Degrees didn’t have a clue whom these individuals were. But they damn well  recognized Snoop Dog, Lindsey Lohan, and Posh Spice.  And they damn well knew who Paris Hilton was. By the way, can you tell me what she does, what any of these people do, besides strut their superficiality, besides purchase pointless shit, besides take up space?
Evidently, the “beautiful people” are those whom others look up to and worship. Are these people gods? Have they contributed to society in some small way? Have they done a damn thing, except saunter around Hollywood giving the impression that they’re the happiest people on earth, that somehow they’re superior to us, or that their material possessions and excess are what we’re lacking, needing, wanting.
All one needs to do is watch the Barbra Walters special to witness the most fascinating people in America. Nope, you won’t see Obama, Mandela, Clinton, or Wiesel. But you may see Spears, Lohan, Timberlake, and the David Beckam; you may see Hugh Hefner’s playmates or some big knockered, bleached blonde super model.  
Gag. Puke.  Yuk.   Ick.

Imagine the flashing white lights, the American flags being hoisted up, the mad applause of fans, and the howling of ooohs and ahhhs….
It must be someone important you say, a world leader, a humanitarian, a Pulitzer winner of something or another, a Poet Laureate, the President of the United States, perhaps. Nope.  It’s only Brittany Spears getting out of her stretch Limo with no panties; it’s only Paris Hilton strutting around as if she’s earned respect for being rich and beautiful; it’s only a Victoria Secret model revealing white wings wedged in her back like some sort of deformity.

I don’t care about Katie’s haircut or Brittany’s pubic hair or Paris Hilton’s sex tapes. I don’t give a damn about this person’s hair extensions and that person’s botox treatments, or even Madonna’s spirituality.  Do you?
“The beautiful people” are an illusion. They are not real. And they are certainly not who we should be adoring and hero-worshiping. Unless, of course, one desires to live vicariously through celebrities whom do absolutely nothing besides shake their asses, unveil their boobies, and sit hopelessly, restlessly, and uselessly looking pretty; unless one is utterly missionless, desireless, and desperately devoted to a life of irrelevance.

Kim's Blogs Uncategorized

Tyra Can Kiss My Fat Ass

~~~~I C-C-Cringe. 

 I get flip-floppy somersaults performing in the pit of my tummy.  I get a slow, steady hot flash. And then I blow, baby….

This is what Tyra Banks does to me, or should I say Ms. Fricking Know it All, or should I say Ms. Oprah Wannabe, or should I say Ms. Narcissist with a head the size of a Montana?

First of all she’s screaming “Kiss my big fat ass!!”   But that was only for your benefit, wasn’t it, Ms. Banks?  I mean cuz now you’ve lost that big fat ass and you’re walking around like a skinny bitch with an attitude.  I guess you didn’t really like the curves, did ya? 

So the other night I’m watching her show for the lone reason that she has my girl on, Blythe Beck; they’re talking about food and how wonderful Tyra is, and Blythe is sort of gaga eyed saying stuff like how lucky Tyra is to possess all of those wonderful enterprises, and rather than focusing on Blythe (whom is taking over the world culinary sector and is her Guest, after all)  Banks says, “Oh, and don’t forget that I have my own talk show!”   All the while she’s stuffing her face with the ribs that Blythe so graciously brought her.

               I am drowning in the sugary superficially and sticky barbecue sauce.

I’m thinking, “You’re in the wrong chair, Sister.  Blythe should be in your chair.  You’re an embarrassment. You’re like one of those chicks in high school that all of the girls hung out with, but secretly couldn’t stomach.  Like one of the Mean Cheerleader Chicks that thought she could bat her eyelashes and get anything she wanted out of life because she was pretty.

Before a taping of her show recently a source tells the publication:

~ “You could hear her going on and on because she was standing right behind the stage curtain. She’s talking and talking. Meanwhile, you have the entire audience waiting almost two hours for the taping to start.”

“She leaves us waiting, and everyone is sitting there complaining, and then she comes out and doesn’t say a word about it. She didn’t even say hello, she got right into her script. She acted so cold towards everyone. She’s a phony. She had the audience prance down the street and then release black balloons. –Celebrity News

Kind of reminds me of “The Office.”  You know, where the cameras are filming all the time and the characters know it, so they act all phony and counterfeit, and annoying as hell.  Banks has no substance or softness…. sort of like running your fingers over a cat in the wrong direction. And I’m wondering why American women are so transfixed on her inarticulate words, which she gives us ceaselessly in large doses.

               Emptiness.    Substanceless.   Black Balloons floating in air…

I Do. Not. Identify with this woman.  I already met her  back in high school and I didn’t like her.

….Oh, and one more thing, Ms. Banks—

You aren’t, or never shall be—an Oprah Winfrey—whom continually speaks from her mouth, her heart, and the wisdom of her soul….

Yeah, her soul…

…Opposed to one who verbalizes directly from her ass.

Kim's Blogs


~~ Every once in a while, I get this urge to get on my soap box and give the world a piece of my mind;  to run to the window and scream bloody murder,” I’m Mad as Hell and I’m Not Going to Take it Anymore!”

       This is one of those times.

I am soooooooooooooooooooo sick of these idiotic, absurd, ghastly, disgusting, noncontributing, foolish, brainless,  and revolting- so-called-celebrities making the news for NOTHING,  being famous for NOTHING.

What have they done?    What have they donated to society?  Why are they taking up space on the airways, in the news, and especially 

    Excuuuuuuuuuuuuse Meeeeeeeeeeeeee….

In case you haven’t heard…..there’s a little war going on in Afghanistan.  Our health care plan is in the shit hole without a paddle.   We are about a GAZZILLION dollars in dept.  And more than that, millions of people are dying every single day from unclean water, violence, terrorism, hopelessness, oppression, and starvation.

    And what, I ask you, do we see on the news?

Paris Hilton strutting into a Christmas party with her Gucci dress and Jimmy Choos–twirling her hair around her finger as if she’s the fuc%#ing Queen of England.

Come on, this girl is only famous for having money, blonde hair, and revealing her muffin.

    What else do we see?

Kate Gosselin — is hosting the “The View!”  Are you damn well kidding me?  THE VIEW?  Goslet is on 20/20, Larry King, Nancy Grace, 60 Minutes.; Gosselin is being interviewed by my hero, Barbra Walters, as one of the most fascinating people of 2009; even my Anderson Handsome Cooper is rambling on  about her on his show.  I’m ashamed of you Anderson.  Bad , bad boy!

    I am burning inside.  I am bubbling.    I am bewildered.    I am angry.

I mean, this freak-show of a woman had eight babies.  That’s what she did. She reproduced.  She gave birth.  A woman does this from time to time.  I did it.  Do you give a flying shit?  Do you desire to watch me on CNN because I delivered my two, (may I say softly and humbly), beautiful boys?  Nooope.


This is Gosselin’s  accomplishment.  This is her story. This is her moment of fame

Don’t even get me going on her idiotic-cheating-good-for –nothin’ husband. 

  His achievement:   He gave Gosselin  a bit of his slimy-slippery- sperm.

SO WHAT!  WHO CARES!  What is he legendary (in his own mind)  for?  If you can tell me, I’ll stop writing this blog immediately. 

And then, last but not least, there is the annoying as hell, nauseating family– “The Kardashians.”  Sounds like a freaking appetizer.  Well, perhaps, it is.

An appetizer that is so overwhelming, over-filling and exasperating that it makes you want to throw up directly after you consume it.

So there’s Kim, Khloe, and Kourtney, and I can’t seem to figure out what they do or why they’re admired and famous.  Did they win the Nobel Peace Prize?  (No, that was Obama).  Did they donate to some great charity or make a contribution to society in some wonderful way?  Did they do anything besides begin a reality show called “Keeping up with the Kardashians,” which we can’t possibly keep up with because the superficiality is so thick and unbearable that it makes one want to commit suicide from all of the plastic boobies and fake eyelashes pushing against our faces. 

And what’s up with the damn mom?

My suggestion is: Go to the window right now.  Open it.  And Scream Loudy,