Browsing Tag

God

In Memory of Kay

KimKay-That’s How It Always Was

 

~~~~~~In the beginning, there was you.

You loving me. You interwoven inside my being like my own blood pumping thru my body

You never judging my bad judgment. You hurrying to my house on 65st and Cody when I lost my job, my uterus, my mind. You sending flowers for weird occasions like when I got my wisdom teeth out!

Always, “YOU.”

KimKay. That’s how it was. Remember?

Nobody ever appreciated me like you, believed in me like you.

Loved me like you.

I haven’t seen your face for 3297 days, Kay.

Losing you has been the blackest, darkest, ugliest, saddest time of my life.

But it’s also been a time of reflection & vibrant light; a time of purpose and meaning; a time of knowing the presence of God.

OH, and I REALLY miss telling you my secrets. Who can I spill my guts to now? Who can I be honest with? Who will still accept me?

For example, I went quite insane after your execution. I tried to become an alcoholic, but I hated not remembering. I tried to become suicidal, but the love on life was more powerful than the love of death.

I tried reading your journals, but every page, every sentence burned into my skin like acid.

I wrote words to fill the void. I wrote syllables to ease the sting.

I kept writing and writing until even my organs emptied out…

My liver falling to the yellowed tiled floor.

There will never be enough words to make me whole again.

IloveyouImissyouIloveyou.

Sometimes when I’m lying in bed, my heart thrusts so damn loudly that it startles me.

I know it’s a reminder, just in case I’ve forgotten, that I’m Alive.

And here’s another secret you may not know, Kay– I’m living without you, but you’re still here, your soft pink cheek pressed against my cheek; your voice whispering inside my ears.

You see, that’s the thing about death; you’re never really gone. The love remains inside, outside, and in-between the betweenness.

I find that astonishingly, amazingly beautiful. Don’t you?

~~~~Are you being abused verbally, physically, sexually, emotionally?

Help is available.

You. Are. Loved.

KIMKayForever

National Hotline: 1 800 799 7233
Safe Haven in Duluth: 1 218 623 1000
CASDA in Wisconsin: 1 800 649  2921

Kim's Blogs

Really Honest Answers To Your Questions

 

(I’ve been asked these questions several times since blogging, & now I like to take the opportunity to answer them)

 

Pet-Peeves?

 

  • People who bump their food together as if to say ‘cheers.’ WTF? Drives me nuuuuts.

 

  • I cannot stand the thought of something (animals, humans, the environment) being abused, hurt, hungry, sad, belittled, or minimized in a world that has so much to offer.

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In Memory of Kay Kim's Blogs

My Life So Far…

~As I look back on my life so far, everything I’ve experienced has directed me onto the path I am on now—-Kim Sisto Robinson

 

1980-something.

 

 

I come from Minnesota, Nassau, Bahamas, & Carnival Cruise Lines….

…where I drank long island teas, goombay smashes, and dealt black jack to movie stars like Telly Savalas, Louis Gosset Jr., rich oil tycoons, and dirty old men who blew raspberry scented smoke into my face at the old Playboy Club. Once- a man grabbed my ass; so the manager, Orlando Pastrana, ran over and told the creep to “LEAVE MY HOUSE Now!” I appreciated the gesture, although I could’ve protected myself, even at 20 years old.

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Kim's Blogs

We Are Not What We Think We Are, We Are What We Hide

We are not what we think we are, we are what we hide.” – Andre Malraux 

Tattoos.com/Are Tattoos Still the Kiss of death in the Work Place?

 

 

~Beneath his grey, sharkskin Ralph Lauren suit, I hear from a dependable source, perhaps somebody who knew him in a past life, an uninhibited life, that his arms are rich and fiery and rebelliously covered with tattoos: sleeves of black, blue, red, skin of verse, inky maps of who he truly is, or was, or wants to become. Again.

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