Browsing Tag

death

In Memory of Kay

KimKay-That’s How It Always Was

 

~~~~~~In the beginning, there was you.

You loving me. You interwoven inside my being like my own blood pumping thru my body

You never judging my bad judgment. You hurrying to my house on 65st and Cody when I lost my job, my uterus, my mind. You sending flowers for weird occasions like when I got my wisdom teeth out!

Always, “YOU.”

KimKay. That’s how it was. Remember?

Nobody ever appreciated me like you, believed in me like you.

Loved me like you.

I haven’t seen your face for 3297 days, Kay.

Losing you has been the blackest, darkest, ugliest, saddest time of my life.

But it’s also been a time of reflection & vibrant light; a time of purpose and meaning; a time of knowing the presence of God.

OH, and I REALLY miss telling you my secrets. Who can I spill my guts to now? Who can I be honest with? Who will still accept me?

For example, I went quite insane after your execution. I tried to become an alcoholic, but I hated not remembering. I tried to become suicidal, but the love on life was more powerful than the love of death.

I tried reading your journals, but every page, every sentence burned into my skin like acid.

I wrote words to fill the void. I wrote syllables to ease the sting.

I kept writing and writing until even my organs emptied out…

My liver falling to the yellowed tiled floor.

There will never be enough words to make me whole again.

IloveyouImissyouIloveyou.

Sometimes when I’m lying in bed, my heart thrusts so damn loudly that it startles me.

I know it’s a reminder, just in case I’ve forgotten, that I’m Alive.

And here’s another secret you may not know, Kay– I’m living without you, but you’re still here, your soft pink cheek pressed against my cheek; your voice whispering inside my ears.

You see, that’s the thing about death; you’re never really gone. The love remains inside, outside, and in-between the betweenness.

I find that astonishingly, amazingly beautiful. Don’t you?

~~~~Are you being abused verbally, physically, sexually, emotionally?

Help is available.

You. Are. Loved.

KIMKayForever

National Hotline: 1 800 799 7233
Safe Haven in Duluth: 1 218 623 1000
CASDA in Wisconsin: 1 800 649  2921

In Memory of Kay Kim's Blogs

The Day of My Sister’s Funeral & ee cummings

 

( For Kay and every single woman who has ever been caged )

~~~~~When the devil executed my sister, it was like any other day.

I was mowing the lawn, listening to Ken Follett’s, Pillars of the Earth on my headset. I was at the part where the young boys in the castle were throwing rocks at poor, innocent cats just because they could. I was baking mandarin chicken in the oven for dinner. The sun was warm and luminous upon my face.

I received the call at 5:15 PM. “Did you hear…did you know…He shot…Mike killed Kay…Your sister K-k is dead….”

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Kim's Blogs

Really Honest Answers To Your Questions

 

(I’ve been asked these questions several times since blogging, & now I like to take the opportunity to answer them)

 

Pet-Peeves?

 

  • People who bump their food together as if to say ‘cheers.’ WTF? Drives me nuuuuts.

 

  • I cannot stand the thought of something (animals, humans, the environment) being abused, hurt, hungry, sad, belittled, or minimized in a world that has so much to offer.

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In Memory of Kay

2,190 Days Since Your Murder

 

“You can’t cage an eagle for long without destroying it.” ― Patricia Briggs

Dedicated to my darling sister, Kay, whom was murdered 6 years ago on May 26 by her estranged husband.  I will love you forever and always, until the end of time.

 

 

~~~While chatting with the science teacher today, I notice a small plastic bag with a dragonfly inside. Me being me, I pick up the bag to get a closer look. I glare into it like one of those stupid human beings gawking at zoo animals. To be truthful, I detest animals locked up, monkey’s running to and fro from boredom, silverback gorillas stuck behind smeared glass, and the king of the jungle caged up like a trophy.

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