SILENCE KILLS.
For support and more information please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or at TTY 1-800-787-3224.
Minnesota Coalition for Battered Women
click here NOW >http://www.thehotline.org/get-help/help-in-your-area/
~~~My best friend, soul-mate & Sister was murdered on May 26, 2010….The world darkened. The sun dimmed. Our lives will NEVER be the same. Read about Kay here:
~~At first she stayed because of the children. They were babies. They needed a father.
He was never a father.
Then she stayed because she didn’t want to go on welfare. She was embarrassed to be a single mother with three children going into the grocery store with food stamps.
What would people think?
Then she stayed because of her faith. She loved God. She wanted to do the right thing. She wanted her family together.
What would God think?
He hit her once. After that, he demeaned her, made her feel small, small, small. Told her she was stupid.
She started to believe it.
She didn’t think she could make it on her own. After all, she was only a housewife, a mother, and stupid.
To me, she was Everything.
She stayed because she felt sorry for him, felt responsible for his actions, and saddened about leaving a broken man.
She stayed for 30 long years.
When she finally decided to leave, he begged, he pleaded, he cried. He said that he couldn’t live without her, couldn’t survive without her. He said she was his only friend.
In her journal she wrote this:
“I have nothing else to give him. He will not leave me alone. I feel sorry for him. So very sorry. He continually crushes my spirit. Help me. Help me. Help me.
On May 26, 2010, the monster walked up behind her and shot her three times in the head. Not once, but three times to make damn sure. He then wrapped his arms around her and shot himself.
He was never a man.
Here’s what she would say to all of you in the same predicament.
Get out. Don’t wait another minute. Stand up now, grab your kids, and find shelter.
Leave today.
You are not his therapist, his slave, or his doormat.
You are so much more. You are Everything. You are unbelievably capable. You are beautiful beyond belief.
Make the right decision now. You cannot wait. The cage is opened. Do not remain inside as I did.
Fly:::::::::::::::Fly::::::::::::::::::::::Fly.
~~~~Please don’t end up like me.
Kay’s Prayer. My Prayer. I play it everyday: Lissie “Everywhere I Go“
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Broken Wings….
If you are being abused, remember:
- You are not to blame for being battered or mistreated.
- You are not the cause of your partner’s abusive behavior.
- You deserve to be treated with respect.
- You are not his therapist.
- You are not his doormat
- You do not deserve to be belittled or demeamed EVER EVER.
- You will not CHANGE him
- You must leave today
Ex-boyfriend kills Stanwood teen, himself, shocking small community
This will piss ou off.
——BOOKS ON VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN
ARE YOU BEING ABUSED? Ask yourself these questions:
Does your partner:
- Embarrass you with put-downs?
- Look at you or act in ways that scare you?
- Control what you do, who you see or talk to or where you go?
- Stop you from seeing your friends or family members?
- Take your money or Social Security check, make you ask for money or refuse to give you money?
- Make all of the decisions?
- Tell you that you’re a bad parent or threaten to take away or hurt your children?
- Prevent you from working or attending school?
- Act like the abuse is no big deal, it’s your fault, or even deny doing it?
- Destroy your property or threaten to kill your pets?
- Intimidate you with guns, knives or other weapons?
- Shove you, slap you, choke you, or hit you?
- Force you to try and drop charges?
- Threaten to commit suicide?
- Threaten to kill you?
If you answered ‘yes’ to even one of these questions,
you may be in an abusive relationship.
For support and more information please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or at TTY 1-800-787-3224.
click here NOW >http://www.thehotline.org/get-help/help-in-your-area/
MY SURVIVING DOMESTIC VIOLENCE STORY
Kay Marie, my love, my love. My Life.Michael and Kay Peterson (going thru Divorce) critically injured …
~Abusive Relationship Readings
——-Domestic Violence Victim’s Perspective: Pam Butler’s Story
Click here to go to Pam Butler’s article “Why Does She Stay?”
INDIFFERENCE IS THE WORST SIN OF ALL!!!
 |
Megan W’s Diary. Age 20 – Beaten to death. Megan’s mother has asked us to tell Megan’s story in hopes that if just one person who hears it recognizes that she or he is in a violent or abusive relationship and gets help – then maybe Megan and her baby won’t have died in vain. Click here. |
STOP THE CYCLE NOW.
2010 Femicide Report Page 28 In 2010, at least 28 Minnesotans lost their lives as a result of domestic violence. Remember their names…
1. January 17, 2010 Ashley Sullivan, Antrim Township, died as a result of a gunshot.
2. January 17, 2010 Chester Gronewold, Antrim Township, died as a result of a beating
3. January 19, 2010 Sarah Mitzuk, Hugo, died as a result of a gunshot.
4. January 30, 2010 Darius Maxwell, St. Paul, died as a result of a stabbing.
5. February 10, 2010 Denna Marie Glaeser, Minneapolis, died.
6. February 23, 2010 Debrah Nederhiser, Nodine, died as a result of a gunshot.
7. March 6, 2010 Edward J. Walberg, Jr., Chisholm, died as a result of a gunshot.
8. March 14, 2010 Brittany Ellis, Brooklyn Center, died as a result of a beating and
strangulation.
9. March 28, 2010 Svetlana Vladimirovna Munt, Mankato, died as a result of a
gunshot.
10. April 2, 2010 Pauline Nash, Minneapolis, died as a result of a stabbing.
11. April 12, 2010 Duach Makuach, St. Cloud, dyad as a result of a beating.
12. April 17, 2010 Natalia Jurjevna Tomasovic, Columbia Heights, died as a result of
a gunshot.
13. April 20, 2010 Barbara Miller Deboise, St. Louis Park, died as a result of a
stabbing.
14. April 29, 2010 Amy Alese Terborg, Minneapolis, died as a result of a gunshot.
15. May 27, 2010 Kay Marie Peterson, Duluth, died as a result of a gunshot.
16. July 31, 2010 Rowan Richardson, Eden Prairie, died as a result of drowning.
17. August 10, 2010 Svetlana Hanson, Eagan, died as a result of a gunshot.
18. August 10, 2010 Charles Hanson, Eagan, died as a result of a gunshot.
19. August 31, 2010 James Nibbe, Lake Crystal, died as a result of a gunshot.
20. September 22, 2010 Dawson Farris, North Mankato, died as a result of a head injury.
21. September 23, 2010 Wendall Abraham, Garrison, died as a result of being run over
with a car.
Domestic Violence Memorial
This is one woman´s story of how her abuser is still trying to control and manipulate her and her child even after no cantact for nearly 5 years.
- Statistics on Violence Against Women in the United States – National Organization for Women
- Fact Sheet Violence Against Women in Indian Country (pdf) – National Congress of American Indians
- Intimate Partner Violence Statistics – Justice Department
- Violence Against Women Fact Sheets – Justice Department
- Domestic Violence Facts – Feminist Majority Foundation
~National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline
~Mental Abuse in Marriage
About Domestic Violence: Test Your Knowledge
Posted by Adrienne at July 3, 2008
Domestic Violence Story Chapter One
Domestic Violence Story Chapter 2
Domestic Violence Story Chapter 3
~~~~MORE STORIES:
~The True Story of a Domestic Violence Victim….. Me!
Abigail’s Story
Allison’s Story
Amelia’s Story
Anna’s Story
Becky’s Story
Belinda’s Story
Charlotte’s Story
Christine’s Story
Claire’s Story
Danna’s Story
Donald’s Story
Emma’s Story
Evie’s Story
Family of Victim Story
Freya’s Story
Hannah’s Story
Ingrid’s Story
Jay’s Story
Joanne’s Story
Kiara’s Story
Kirsty’s Story
Louise’s Story
Mandy’s Story
Mark’s Story
May’s Story
MP’s Story
Portia’s Story
Rachel’s Story
Sadie’s Story
Shelley’s Story
Tanya’s Story
Thomas’ Story
Varda’s Story
Vella’s Story
~~Books That Examine Domestic Violence: 
~The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans
~Domestic Violence: A Global View
~Christian Response to Domestic Violence Reconciliation
~Co-Dependent No More by Melody Beattie
~No Visible Wounds by Mary Susan Miller
~It Could Happen to Anyone: Why Battered Women Stay by O.W. Barnett and A.D.LaViolette.
~Before It’s Too Late: Helping Women in Controlling or Abusive Relationships by Robert J. Ackerman & Susan E. Pickering.
~Blood on whose hands? : the killing of women & children in domestic homicides
~Victims of Domestic Violence : What to Look For, How to Help Them
~A Woman Like You : The Face of Domestic Violence (New Leaf Series)
~End the Pain : Solutions for Stopping Domestic Violence
~Women at Risk : Domestic Violence and Women’s Health
 |
What Happened to Jennifer? After 13 years of sexual, emotional and financial abuse Jennifer found out her husband was a bigamist. When she tried to leave she was beaten in the head with a hammer, her fingers were broken, her face was fractured against Carlos’ knee. Click here to read her story. |
~~~~~DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AFFECTS EVERBODY….
~Domestic Violence Globally:
~Domestic Violence in India
~BBC NEWS | Americas | Domestic violence stalks Mexican women
~France Moves To Outlaw Mental Abuse In Marriages
~Domestic Violence – South Africa
~Armenia: Domestic violence claims a life · Global Voices
~Domestic violence: Australia’s silent victims – News and Events …
~India: “Wife-beating diplomat
~Domestic violence is a war zone | The Jakarta Post
~Domestic, sexual violence rates soaring in Caribbean – Wiltshire …
Domestic Abuse In Kenya
Domestic Violence in India:
LEAVE YOUR ABUSER TODAY. DO NOT WAIT ANOTHER MINUTE…ANOTHER SECOND….
Thank you Kim .I know you did this with such a heavy and broken heart, but I know Kay is so proud that you and her are making a difference in the lives of women who feel they can’t leave. Please know that you can. there is help out there. And every woman out there deserves to live a life without fear and abuse.
xxx elizabeth
I didn’t know your sister, but I imagine too that she would be proud of you. While it doesn’t take away the grief, writing like this uses it for something meaningful and potentially helpful.
Hi, i think that i saw you visited my blog so here i am!.I am trying to find things to improve my website!I suppose its ok to use some of your ideas!!
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Charlene Ross, krrobi. krrobi said: RT @krrobi Help for Domestic Violence :: My Inner Chick http://bit.ly/epF45x [...]
We need more posts like these.
I’m definitely bookmarking this site. Really great articles. Do you recommend any other readings?
Kim, this is one of the most powerful pieces you’ve written on Kay because you’ve made it everyone’s story … all those who have been, are, and will be in abusive relationship. Thank you for all of us.
Very nice information.
Thank you for this – for all the videos, the links, everything. I wish it had been this readily available back when I needed it but God got me out and I got smart enough, finally, to STAY out. I am so sorry for your loss; she sounds like a beautiful person.
LB,
I am so glad you are out of that relationship.
My sister was trying to leave…she never made it out.
OH, God, I Miss Her….
Thanks for reading.
Spread this site to others who need AWARENESS!
Absolutely, Kim … powerful messages; I ALWAYS want women to protect themselves FIRST. Thank you.
thanks, sweet Ginger, For ALL of your support
Wow, what an eye opener!
Love you,
Tia
This is simply amazing Kim. You have gathered so much incredible information here that will help so many. A resource that I shall also use as I write Fran’s story (and mine).
I love you, Beryl! You inspire me to move forward without the love of my life.
xxx K.
Dear Kim,
Just know and embrace that Kay is very, very proud of you.
There are many different Kays in the world around us, and I know with the help and support of all of us other women, we can help reduce and eventually eliminate the abuse our sisters go through.
Hang in there. Stay safe.
You are loved.
Petite (PsychoBasher)
Thank you for your response, Petite. Togetherness is POWER. xxx
Kim – this is absolutely amazing and so powerful! You have done an incredible job of compiling information that can help battered women, inform their friends and families, and convince anyone who has doubts about the realities of domestic violence. I am so very proud of you! Love you! Linda
~~~You spur me forward, Linda! xxxxxxxXXX
This is so powerful Kim. You have done an amazing job. I will tweet and retweet to get the word out there.
xoxo
Amazing Kim. Thank you for doing this. Keep writing about domestic abuse. It is so important to keep in front of the public, women and elected leaders. You are doing a great thing.
My dearest friend. I am so proud of you & love you. I will share this with the counselors @ work so they can share with their clients!! One moment @ a time.
Thanks Kim, Joan, Charlene,
I luv you girls!
Together….We can change the WORLD.
XXX K.
[...] Help for Domestic Violence [...]
Kim thank you for sharing this information. Too many women (and quite a few men) suffer violence and mental abuse from those who should love them. I am so sorry you lost your dear friend. The man was a coward; actually he was never really a man!
NEVER A MAN. NEVER.
Thanks, Caribean Princess xx
I’m so sorry about all that she went through and that she had to go. Thank you so much for sharing this with us.
I tried for years to get my sister out of an abusive relationship. I still dont get why they stay. She is finally free of him, but shes still half broken, and her children forever scarred. I am joining you in this, sending this message, and hoping to save some lives.
xoxo
Paula
So sad. Such a horrible loss.
Our lives have changed FOREVER.
Thank you for your support, Paula.
Glad your sister got out when she could!!!!! xx
I grew up around domestic violence. I saw it daily. remember, even 20 years later! Its crazy how one (small) person can negatively affect someones life so harshly. As a child my mother was beat by my (loser) father day after day while his 4 children looked on and watched, crying, begging, screaming for it to stop. My mother asking us begging us children to call the cops. But we didnt instead all of us kids watched in horror unable to help. My mother left in 1991 and that is how I ended up in Duluth. My brave single mother and her 4 wildly out of control children. We lived in the womens shelter for months and then in transitional housing. It was scary leaving. It was TERRIFYING. But she did it. With 4 kids. When we left she didnt notif anybody. NOT EVEN HER OWN FATHER. we left in the middle of the night from minneapolis. I remember being 5 and seeing the lights coming into duluth on 53 and thinking we were NEVER going to make it. WE DID!! Everyone can make. YOU WILL MAKE IT!! When kays murder happened I didnt know her very well. I had met her maybe 25 times enough to fall in love with her and her son!. I was very good friends with Aaron. But ever since her murder I was haunted knowing that my FRIEND was in a house full of domestic abuse and I NEVER KNEW! I felt like I failed Aaron. I was also involved with a very controlling person for 4 years. I have a child with him. Aaron told me day after day to leave him. I remember aaron telling me That it will be ok. That I will be ok and my daughter and we did it as well. Aaron is such a great person. SUch a loving loving loving dear friend. I hope only peace and redemption for your family. To one day be free of soooo muchhhh PAIN…. I Will never fail a friend again. Or my daughter. Or a loved one!! You are an inspiration. Your whole family is an inspiration. I hope that when you see Kay again your heart will just FEEL love. That the hurt will leave and you will be free of pain and dispair…you all deserve that and so much more. As kay did/does.
—-Dear, Margaret,
what an unbelievably powerful peice of writing.
You took my breath away.
You really did.
I am thrilled you are a SURVIVOR.
You will be a stronger woman because you survived & a better Mother.
Yes, the pain will always be there without Kay. Always…always.
but we will meet one day again.
I look forward to hugging her & kissing her all over her cheeks!
ps…you should go see Aaron sometime…I has a dog now! He loves her.
She is a distraction for him. He has taken this VERY hard.
We need more people in the world that care about this issue like yourself. I enjoyed reading the posts and everything in between. Great awareness!
Kim – this is an amazing tribute blog for your sister. While I never knew her, she must be so grateful for you.
I, too, have had a murdered (step)sister. Hers is unsolved – and no parent, sister, brother, friend should experience the horror you (and your sister) have.
You have my deepest sympathy and thanks for such an amazing blog. If one woman is helped through your words – how wonderful!
—Ann,
your kind words mean so much.
thank you so much for stopping by & bringing
more awarness to domestic violence.
I shall scream my sister’s story FOREVER. xxxx
As a fellow blogger – I stumbled upon this blog through links, through links, through links. And I ended up at your passionate page. Many of us have one – that one thing that we feel compelled to talk about / help expose / save a life. I have my own passionate page. … but yours touches me. I love it. The tributes, the stories, the resources, the everything. I love it all. Although I can discuss other heartbreak, I still have yet to find the words or strength to venture down memory lane so publicly. As a high school sociology teacher – I so want to incorporate this into my class…. we shall see.
Kristen
—Kristen,
Thanks for looking thru those links and links and link … and finally finding my sister’s story.
I hope you incorporate this in your classroom somehow.
Everybody should know what domestic abuse is. Everybody.
I did not know….I did not know….
until it was too late for my sister.
It must be SCREAMED out.
Silence is a Murderer.
The voices must be risen from the graves.
—This must be why I was left behind without my dear sister….
to tell her story.
The one she kept locked inside for so many years…..
Love Love Love.
~K.
I read your story about Kay and it is simply heartbreaking. When I was young I had no idea that a man would ever hit a women. Now I know differently, of course, but it is simply dreadful to watch tragedies like this unfold.
—Countinducks,
not only hitting….but verbal abuse, financial abuse, manipulation, sexual abuse. etc…
I am still learning so much myself.
thank you for visiting. x
Hi Kim,
I have to tell you. I have visited. And revisited. And revisited again. Your incredible website for your incredible sister. It has impacted me in a way that nothing else has. I first found your post via violence unsilenced as a domestic violence and rape crisis center advocate. And I just havent been able to stop reading it. I first posted it to the doors of our office, for other staff to see, for other survivors to read…. And now I find myself preparing to read it at a Take Back the Night Speak Out. It is heartwrenchingly beautiful. Thank you thank you thank you for having the bravery to share your pain in such an honest, raw way. I have used your words to help survivors escape their own cage. It reaches them on a level that my words as a counselor can not. I write to you today to one, inform you that people are thinking of you and your sister on a daily basis, and two, to request your blessing in continuing to share your words and your sister’s story to help others break free. What a loving sister you are. Thank you.
Best,
Tina
—Dear, sweet Tina,
I have NO WORDS ( for once in my life.)
Kay would have laughed at that! Seriously.
I am crying. I am crying because I feel as if Kay finally has a VOICE
Love Love Love
.
Kim.
And I will continue to spread her voice as much as I can <3
[...] Help for Domestic Violence [...]
My heart goes out to you.
I hope your site is read by all those who suffer and as a result take the courage to go. To look on it not as a massive step but one small step to safety. That by crossing the road they can be safe.
Caroline recently posted..Time….. for what
[...] Help for Domestic Violence [...]
[...] Help for Domestic Violence [...]
[...] Help for Domestic Violence [...]
[...] Help for Domestic Violence [...]
Thank you so much for sharing a critical topic so openly… I’m so sorry for your loss. May the good that comes from your work here help your healing journey. We must never stay quiet. We must always shout because domestic violence takes many forms and not all are visible but some just as killing as to render the abused among the “walking dead.” I know all too well. As part of my own healing journey, may I please share a link to this page on my pages?
auroramorealist recently posted..Little Wars
Yes! Please Do.
My sister was silent for much too long…
I Am Now HER VOICE.
Forever. Always.
Thank you so much.
[...] Help for Domestic Violence [...]
I’m so sorry to hear about your sister. I am a survivor of Domestic Violence, physical, emotional, mental, sexual…I feel I was blessed to get out when I was able to. I started a non profit organization for victims of domestic violence, to help them get the help they need to get out, and more importantly to have a stable life and survive away from their abuser. http://www.facebook.com/projectnewtomorrow.
Cece Nichole recently posted..Important Message!
What a powerful post. I have chills right now. So many new videos I am afraid to watch because I know what they do to me. But I am compelled to. I have to hear the voice of the many who have none.
I am so proud of you – proud you are able to take something so unthinkable and create something valuable out of it. You are a bold innovator, a perfect voice for those without a voice. You share information I wish I had known years ago. You bless me with your you-ness.
nan @ lbddiaries recently posted..No Ordinary Love
Absolutely bless you for this whole, full, complete, yet so deeply deeply sad page.
It is just broken, just broken.
To your friend who stayed 30 YEARS, who felt sorry FOR HIM, I am so sorry for the children to lose their mother this way. My sincerest sorrow, my God, this page was so sobering.
It is a wonderful ode to your friend. Didn’t want to be a single mother, food stamps….. That or die? If only she could see.
Bless you this whole exposure here.
Words Fall From My Eyes recently posted..The Gathering
Dear Words,
“”"”Kay was (IS) my sister.”"”"
I shall never be whole without her…
until we unite once again…in Paradise.
Thank you for visiting my mourning page.
Love Love Love. x
[...] http://myinnerchick.com/help-for-domestic-violence/ [...]
[...] Help for Domestic Violence [...]
[...] Help for Domestic Violence [...]
[...] Help for Domestic Violence [...]
[...] Help for Domestic Violence [...]
[...] The M3 Blog will never endorse abusive relationships. If you think you are in an abusive relationship, contact law enforcement, an abuse shelter, a worship leader, family or friends. Get help. Abuse kills. [...]
Wow you know, Inner Chick, it’s been a while since I cruised this way.
Your pages are truly deeply important here on the net. I wish so earnestly all who need to read and see all this, do. I wish for men to visit too, to pause, to see.
That photo of the older woman with a bruise on her eye – you just can’t help thinking – coward, coward, coward of a male.
Noeleen recently posted..Are you an Unhealthy Blogger?
I am a DV victim and I have 4 kids with my abuser. He has NPD and has cheated on me as well. This yr has been an eye opener even though I feel like something will happen that will have me questioning why I came back. But I did and you know what I kicked him out I am now in a strange town and with no family here as well. My question to anyone that can offer advice is what can I do. I have this home to myself and the kids but I have nothing else. So he knows I do depend on him for something. The rent and utlilities. I feel safe in the sense that he isnt laying in the bed next to me. I have a restraining order against he does have visiation our kids are 11, 5, and twins 3. I dont know what to do. should I stay in this town where there seems to be alot of help for and programs for single parents with kids. or should I go back to “home base” where I moved from. I feel more shame there and more pain because so much happened there. i would like to stay in the city but a different place but i dont know. can someone help. my email is bacnthedai82@gmail.com
Frances,
I tried to email you, but it did not go thru.
Can you call the National Help Line? There are many resourses out there.
If not, contact me above.
CALL Now
[...] Read a story of a victim of abusive relationship here. [...]