How to Boost Your Self-Esteem After Overcoming Unhealthy Relationships

Re-establishing a healthy routine and empowering yourself after a breakup or a toxic relationship isn’t easy. Relationships barely give room for self-worth to thrive, especially in women experiencing domestic violence.

And, it’s easy for your life to get intertwined with that of your spouse without noticing. It happens all the time.


This isn’t the worst that can happen in a relationship. Learn to love yourself even if your partner works against it. When in a toxic relationship, your spouse can easily tear down your self-worth feelings. And, this can threaten and damage your mental sanity or health.

A violent and manipulative spouse can ruin your self-confidence and leave you in shambles when your relationship finally ends. You can feel totally drained of self-confidence and be insecure.

However, there’s hope after a toxic relationship comes to an end. You can rebuild your self-esteem and confidence to become confident once more. Better still, you can develop higher self-esteem than never before.


What’s self-esteem?

Self-esteem is how you see, feel or perceive yourself, or self-opinion. Childhood and lifetime experiences often define your self-esteem. However, you can easily enhance your self-esteem at any point or age in life.

Here’re a few tips to help you improve your self-esteem, ranging from self-care to a positive mindset to investing in yourself:

7 Tips to Improve Your Self-Esteem After Ending a Toxic Relationship

  • Rid self of the victim mentality

Stop feeling like you’re a victim to get over your bad past relationship. Indeed you went through a bad and unfair situation, but you can only move forward if you let the bygones be bygones.

Relating yourself to a relationship that was toxic is as good as holding onto your previous self. So, accept that things can change for the better and look forward to positive things yet to come. Don’t let the person who hurt badly have your heart forever. You deserve a better relationship.

  • Forgive self to make positive steps forward

After ending a toxic relationship, you must first forgive yourself for your bad past and negative experiences. You may regret not ending the relationship earlier at the first instance of abuse and hate yourself for constantly subjecting yourself to mistreatment.

You can easily hold onto self-blame.

  • Indulge in what makes you happy

Focus on what makes you happy for the longest time possible. Don’t just assume that you enjoy face masks, basic baths, hiking, or yoga. Instead, find the nuanced activities that set your soul ablaze.

Does soaking in a warm bath make you hot and uncomfortable? Find something that truly makes you happy. Try swimming in the ocean or drawing on your smartphone or iPad. Take time to try out new activities to find what makes you excited.

  • Embrace being single

Don’t try to get back with your toxic ex. You deserve to be with someone who appreciates you, loves you, treats you well, and actually wants to be with you.

Similarly, don’t jump into another relationship. After the hurt you’ve been through, you need time to heal. Time does heal. So, embrace being single and focus on yourself instead of spending your energy and time in a relationship.

It’s ok to be single and it isn’t as horrible you may think. Instead, it’s great to be single for a while as you heal.

  • Reframe beliefs from your toxic relationship

Relationships can define how you perceive the world, in many ways. When you develop a deeper appreciation for new cultures, it’s always for the better.


Toxic relationships involve emotionally-manipulative and abusive persons who often warp how you perceive yourself as a way to control you.

You may undergo years of listening to how your partner reduces your worth every chance they get. As a result, you may have insecurities regarding your looks or what people think about you. These may be things that you never focused on until your toxic ex constantly raised them up.

But, usually, the negative beliefs are untrue with regards to your self-worth. You’re worthy of love like everyone else. You’re unique, beautiful and definitely not selfish. You are just you.

Challenge the beliefs you adopted from your toxic relationship. If you realized that your ex was toxic and ended your relationship, you should know that his words were just as bad.

  • Be selfish and do the things you love

You likely gave too much to someone who didn’t deserve anything from you. You deserve everything that you were giving your toxic ex.

Prioritize yourself and go out on dates to treat you. Indulge in the things you love such as a hobby or watching your favorite movies on Netflix instead of attending a work party.

If you decide to indulge in something online, make sure that you’re protected from identity theft. You’ll want to check out reviews of available solutions to choose what offers distinct advantages. Make sure it has other features such as reports of your designated locality for enhanced safety online.

You deserve to love and spoil yourself. Be selfish!

  • Believe the compliments from family, friends and strangers

When you’ve gone through a bad relationship, it’s difficult to take compliments. Generally, people find it difficult to take compliments, especially women. A study found that women only take compliments 22% of the time from fellow women and 40% of the time from men.

This isn’t surprising if you find it difficult to take compliments. It happens all the time. And, women tend to divert or deflect compliments due to low self-esteem.

Practice to accept compliments. Whenever you receive a compliment, say “thank you” to begin believing what people say about you. In turn, your self-esteem will increase as you begin to see yourself in the same limelight.


Set SMART goals that make you proud of yourself and compliment yourself daily to boost your self-esteem. Nobody deserves to be in a toxic relationship and experience unfair treatment.

Therefore, it’s necessary to do move on and heal from your bad past. Unearth the truth about yourself to experience self-love and happiness. You deserve it!