In Memory of Kay Kim's Blogs

Even The Pets Suffer After A Murder

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~After a murder in a family, there’s a lot of shit to organize, things to do, people to see.


Not only do you grieve the loss of your loved one, but you need to take care of other business, as well.


Insurance policies. Bills. Cleaning out the house. Separating your sister’s belongings – (I have all of her long coats, expensive bags, and lipsticks) & Comforting the people who remain behind. ( I wasn’t much help )


Besides— finding homes for the pets.


Kay had three cats and two birds.


I phoned several of my friends pleading, “Hey, Kay’s cats need homes. Do you have some extra love to spare?”


All three cats were adopted out immediately: Maya to Jackie, Whitie to Tia, & Mufasa to the murderer’s sister.


I removed the cats from Kay’s house into the back seat of my car to bring them to their destinations. They cried and meowed ferociously as if in mourning, too—As if missing her, too, and I cried right along with them.


I thought, ‘that bastard has turned everybody’s life’s upside down including the animals.’


It’s shocking how one action can cause a million reactions; how one decision can cause depressions, alcoholism, suicidal thoughts, loneliness, regrets, hopelessness, and desperate measures to find a way back home.


We are always trying to find our way back home, right?


The Cockatiels’ were brought to a pet shop in West Duluth, where I hope they were adopted by decent, caring families. I remember Kay telling me she took warm showers with them on weekends & opened their cages during the daytime hours so they could spread their wings fully.


That image has entered my mind numerous times after he murdered her.


A caged door flung wide open…


And my darling, Kay, flying into her freedom.


Back home.

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  • Reply
    Elephants Child
    May 19, 2019 at 2:22 pm

    As always, heartfelt hugs and oceans of caring.

  • Reply
    nan @ lbddiaries
    May 19, 2019 at 5:01 pm

    Powerful. Reminds me of “Caged Bird” by Maya Angelou.

  • Reply
    May 19, 2019 at 8:02 pm

    I couldn’t agree more Kim how one person could destroy, or I should say try to destroy so many. But through God and family we beat him. Kay is okay and so are we.

  • Reply
    May 20, 2019 at 12:29 am

    Your words are always so powerful Kim! I truly admire and honour you for being able to write about Kay and her murderer the way you do.
    Sending you much love and hugs from a beautiful autumn morning in sunny South Africa.
    🙂 Mandy xoxo

  • Reply
    May 20, 2019 at 1:16 am

    You are a very strong woman that I truly admire! (((HUG))) I am glad that all cats have found the new home.
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  • Reply
    Marie Kléber
    May 20, 2019 at 3:19 am

    I am in awe, every time, at the way you write Kim. The way you say these things that are so tough to imagine. Good that you found houses for Kay’s lovely cats.
    Whenever you talk about her, it looks like she was one of a kind. She is special.
    She is free.
    Sending you much love from sunny Paris.
    Marie Kléber recently posted..Rainy daysMy Profile

  • Reply
    May 20, 2019 at 8:47 am

    I’m sure Kay is grateful for you finding homes for her pets. All animals deserve love, except for the kind that caused all of this grief.
    I always love your dad’s comments. He’s a great guy!

  • Reply
    lisa thomson
    May 20, 2019 at 10:34 am

    These are things people don’t think of. Kim, you are amazing and I can’t even begin to imagine the horror of those first weeks after Kay’s murder. I can see you driving those pets around, determined to get them safely to new homes; an act of true love for your sister. Your story is so important for spreading awareness. Love you! xxoo
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  • Reply
    May 20, 2019 at 1:09 pm

    Pets just KNOW, don’t they, Kim? My dog watched as EMTs hauled my dad to the hospital the final time, and when we came home empty-handed, it’s like he knew Daddy had passed. I imagine death is very confusing to them, especially because they pick up on the heartache of their family. I’m glad you found good homes for Kay’s critters, and I love the imagery of her flying to freedom from that cage! Hugs to you, Darling!
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  • Reply
    Christine Carter
    May 28, 2019 at 5:13 am

    Sigh. I could just picture those cats in the car, jolted out of their comfort place of home and stirred with confusion and fear. I’m so glad people stepped in to care for them and I hope those birds were taken to good homes too. I know Kay is grateful.

  • Reply
    The Kitchen Lioness
    July 8, 2019 at 12:24 pm

    Dear Kim, so moved by this post – somehow it had never crossed my mind that pets suffer too…how very sad and yet wonderful that all of Kay’s pets found loving homes!
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