Kim's Blogs

Rejection Sucks


 

 

I did frame this from The New Yorker because they spelled "DEAR" wrong and it made me feel better about myself!

I did frame this from The New Yorker because they spelled “DEAR” wrong and it made me feel better about myself!

 

 

Throughout the years, I’ve heard, unbelievably, that several writers appreciate rejection letters. Some of these individuals wall-paper their walls with these correspondences. Others pin the, “we regret to inform you’s” to their bulletin boards as reminders to Keep on Truckin.’

 

These optimistic, joyful writers will utter things like, “bring it on, rejection builds character, it’s good for the soul, rejection helps me evolve, did you know The Help was rejected 60 times?”

 

Well, to be completely honest, I’m not one of those writers or people. I open up these god-forbidden letters with shaking hands and when I take in the, we regret that we are unable to use the enclosed material, I scream, “FUUUUUCK!”

 

Afterwards, I call some of my girlfriends, well, one girlfriend in particular, to have a little pity party.

 

Sure, intellectually, I know rejection will unquestionably help you grow, learn, thrive, nurture your weakest areas, and help you find out who you really are. Seriously, I know all this, but my heart doesn’t. I also know it hurts like hell when one white envelope after another arrives in your mailbox like unwanted, inked, ugly strangers, saying– “thank you for giving us the opportunity to…”

 

Shuuuuuuuuuuuut up!

 

Why not save your time and just text me something like- “You Suck. You’re a loser. You’re not good enough, bitch. You aint no Elizabeth Gilbert.”

 

Yeah, why not save yourself an envelope, a stamp, some ink, your stupid truth?

 

I’ll be honest, I’ve never been good with any kinds of rejection, and I’m not just talking about Women’s Home Journal or Redbook.

 

I’m talking about Janet Olson, whom was continually first chair in 8th grade band. Not only was she a supreme trumpet player, but she had long brown hair like Veronica out of that Archie comic book, and her eyes were like Bambi; large enough to swim in. All of the girls wanted to be her and all of the boys wanted her as their girlfriend. Even Mr. Schultz, the band teacher, thought she was extraordinary, which annoyed me significantly.

 

She never looked in my direction. And when I tried to talk to her after a concert one Saturday night, she smiled cruelly and said, “you are weird.”

 

That’s all.

 

In any case, I saw her on Facebook and thought, ‘I’m going to friend her.’ I mean, we are all grown up now, right? We have moved on from superficiality and shit, so I asked her to be my friend. And waited.

 

She denied me.

 

So, I guess, I had changed, but she did not.

 

Anyway, being denied and discarded does not make me yell out– “Hip, Hip, Hooray!”

 

It hurts. It makes my insides ache. It’s painful.

 

Why should I try to make you feel better about this reality?

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Okay, let me start again.

 

Rejection sucks, but it Does Not need to destroy you. If anything, it causes you to move forward with everything you’ve got, every breath you have left. It makes you hear your heart beating outside your body as if to say, “I’m Alive!”

 

THUMP:::::::::THUMP:::::::::THUMP

 

It makes you not waste one more moment of the rest of your life.

 

 

—Dear, reader, what kinds of rejection have you had in your lifetime? Do you experience it like I do?!

 

Don’t forget to submit your stories to My Inner Chick’s Writing Contest below! —

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57 Comments

  • Reply
    Tia
    October 1, 2016 at 10:55 am

    You are my number 1 and you are brilliantly beautiful 💋 love you!

  • Reply
    Barbara
    October 1, 2016 at 12:12 pm

    I submitted ‘The Duffy Chronicles’ to tons of children’s book publishers and had tons of rejections and gave up. The day after Duffy passed away I was crying at my computer when a children’s book publisher posted they were looking for new books. I submitted it and they accepted and published it! I’m pretty sure Duffy arranged it all from above and I’m forever grateful. He lives on every day! I’m not ready to submit the memoir yet, but soon. Hoping he pulls some strings for me there, too.
    xob

  • Reply
    Sandra Charron
    October 1, 2016 at 1:05 pm

    I submitted a manuscript I had spent the better part of two years writing…fiction. My rejection letter said, “There are nuggets of potential.” I’m sorry but the word “nuggets” had me envisioning my manuscript as poop nuggets. I hate rejection. I am not about growing from it and all that business. I feel like a loser, plain and simple. As for the chick in school, clearly she was jealous of you then and is embarrassed by her behavior so can not face you now, thus rejecting your friend request on FB…let’s go with that shall we. Love The New Yorker rejection letter…come on, it’s The New Yorker and they took the time to reply, I think that means you’re pretty awesome.

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      October 2, 2016 at 7:33 am

      Dear, S,
      I dig your honesty. Truly.
      NUGGETS)) POOR choice of words, for sure! Almost condescending, in my opinion.
      Luv U. xxx

  • Reply
    Carrie
    October 1, 2016 at 1:05 pm

    Kim, I grapple with rejection all the time. No one likes rejection and anyone who says they do is in denial!
    I have learned to deal with it better with a whole lot of self talk and I rarely take it as “you suck” any more.
    I just wasn’t their cuppa tea. I don’t like everyone either.
    In the big picture; does it really matter? I think we all know the truth deep down. We know when we do well and when we didn’t.
    I hope you know deep down that you are a very talented writer who is changing the world with your writing. I hope you know that you had a major role in me getting up the courage to write honestly about my feelings and experiences.
    I am sorry if this “rejection letter” made you feel less than ??????? Some other writer. Every wtiter has their own style, point of reference, …….. how can one be better thaN another?:they are just different.
    You are maaaaaaarvelous darling!! Fucking awesome!
    Hugs from Canada

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      October 2, 2016 at 7:35 am

      Carrie,
      For sure, we all get rejection.
      And we move forward, onward.
      I consider my blog *a moment in time.* That’s all.
      I put down my thoughts, opinions, and other shit…
      and go on w/ my life.
      HUGS from Minnesota. xx

  • Reply
    nan @ lbddiaries
    October 1, 2016 at 1:52 pm

    It’s not rejection, it is simply their opinion. Their opinion is biased and while it can’t be wrong, per se – it is their “opinion” after all – to us her opinion sucks.

    Deer Kem (hee hee), I love your writing as do 1000’s of other people. We are not rejecting you – we adore you!! And OUR opinion is all that matters – the readers not those silly editors who can’t even spell. I still can’t believe she took the time to “personalize” the form letter then misspelled “dear” – that is just nutz!

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      October 2, 2016 at 7:39 am

      HAaaa,
      for me, it’s rejection.
      And that’s okay.
      This was not supposed to be a post about making me feel better about myself!
      I think sometimes readers miss my” tongue-in-cheek” meanings!
      Love to you, Nan. xx

      • Reply
        nan @ lbddiaries
        October 26, 2016 at 2:17 pm

        Nope didn’t miss your tongue-in-cheek at all – I just can’t stand anything that isn’t “upping” marvelous YOU!!!

  • Reply
    Elephant's Child
    October 1, 2016 at 2:46 pm

    Sadly I often take rejection as confirmation that I suck and I am worthless.
    And slink away and hide.
    Wrong, and I know it is wrong. But…

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      October 2, 2016 at 7:40 am

      Oh,
      I love your honesty, Sue.
      Yeah, it’s wrong (I guess).
      but lets just have a little pity party and move forward?
      That’s all I’m sayin’ xxxx

  • Reply
    lisa thomson-The Great Escape...
    October 1, 2016 at 3:40 pm

    I’ve received several rejection letters in the past. I kept many in a file folder. I have been rejected for jobs after interviews. I have been rejected on facebook (although I suppose it’s more a situation of being ignored) after friend requesting. That’s a weird kind of rejection that makes me feel like I’m in high school again. That said, I don’t friend request anyone (rarely) except in real life. I’ve experienced so much rejection that it doesn’t bother me like it used to. In fact, I try to see it as a result of my uniqueness. Not everyone gets me and that’s ok. I must be doing something right.

    Kim, keep submitting your writing because your talent is supreme. Never mind that Janet-Schmanet.

    Stephen King wrote around ten novels that were all rejected before publishing his first novel. Food for thought right there.

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      October 2, 2016 at 7:41 am

      Lisa,
      I know! I know! I know!
      I just like have itsy bitsy pity parties sometimes!
      Good excuse for a party!!
      xxx from MN.

  • Reply
    Jennie Goutet
    October 1, 2016 at 11:18 pm

    I like you, Kim. 😍

  • Reply
    Chris Carter
    October 2, 2016 at 9:26 am

    Oh girl do I GET. IT. Like you, I have a very difficult time with rejection- with anything. It is SOUL CRUSHING…

    Then I have to make myself conclude that God did not intend for my words, my heart, my presence- to be in that place, with that person, or open to that opportunity. I must trust that there is a reason- God sees why even when I don’t. Even when I think THIS is what should happen, THIS is what I want MOST- He knows all and knows me and knows this day before I do and the days after.

    He knows my (your) heart better than anyone and my (your) desires better than me (you), and He could be purposefully protecting me (you) from things I (you) don’t know that could happen, or OR He could be trying to veer my (your) path toward what He deems much more significant for His plan for my (your) life and His ongoing relentless care for my (your) heart. We must believe that His perfect timing is better than ours, and His perfect plan is better than ours…

    To surrender everything to Him, means to trust that each and every single thing that happens to us is and will be used for God’s purpose in our lives- right? Oh, it’s so hard when our hearts gets rejected, broken, and our dreams seemed crushed. I know. I so very often want to give up…

    But we don’t. And we won’t.

    And I for one, am absolutely positively 100% sure that God has GREAT plans and a profound purpose for you and the gifts He created in you, my love.

  • Reply
    My Inner Chick
    October 2, 2016 at 10:32 am

    I.
    Agree.
    Darling.
    Intellectually, I know my GOD has GREAT plans,
    but in the meantime, that moment, it SUCKS eggs.
    YES, HE has awesome plans for us.
    I relish in this. I swim in his promises.
    Love to you, my sweet Chris. xxxx PS. He has plans for your book, too!

  • Reply
    Debbie
    October 2, 2016 at 11:22 am

    Ouch, Kim, you’ve brought up a sensitive subject. I guess we’ve all felt the sting of rejection, whether it’s that seventh grade boy who refused to look us in the eye or the teacher who gave us a B+ when we thought we deserved at least an A-. As writers, I think we feel rejection most of all. I mean, how many doctors run around wailing that a patient turned down their recommendation for surgery?? But what we put on the page comes from down deep and takes a long time to get just right, so it FEELS like a rejection of US when somebody doesn’t “get” it or fully appreciate it. Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead! We have something to say, by golly, and say it we must!

  • Reply
    Balroop Singh
    October 2, 2016 at 12:52 pm

    Loved your ‘Pity Party’…such parties make us feel good and move ahead. Damn those rejecters! Who cares! They are losers NOT us. Love you Kim.

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      October 2, 2016 at 1:29 pm

      Awwwwww, such a sweet comment, Balroop! Luv You back. x

  • Reply
    Lorraine @ Not Quite Nigella
    October 2, 2016 at 4:55 pm

    Kim you are hilarious and brilliant. Deer is a very strange way to start off a New Yorker rejection letter. Although they did sign it personally which is nice. I always remember how JK Rowling was rejected by so many people with Harry Potter.

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      October 3, 2016 at 4:37 am

      Lorraine,
      I’m happy you saw this post how it was intended! Love from MN. xx

  • Reply
    Kristi R Campbell
    October 2, 2016 at 5:19 pm

    That The New Yorker (!!!!) spelled “Dear” wrong makes my heart happy too!! OMG. And also cray-cray. I’m impressed you have a rejection letter from them. Because rejection sucks, I rarely submit to publications. Like, hardly ever. Which is dumb and means that mostly when I do, it’s accepted (except this one time). Ugh it does suck though. Stephen King talks about rejections too – amazing how many some things get. Also, I think I have something for your writing contest (OMG!!!!!) (OMGGG am I going to SUBMIT?????)

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      October 3, 2016 at 4:38 am

      LOL.
      you are hilarious.
      Submit. All that can happen is you may not win!! HAAaaa. NOT FUNNY. xxxxx

  • Reply
    Mandy
    October 3, 2016 at 12:10 am

    I clearly can’t handle rejection at all so self published my first book. You will still get to proof my second one if I ever get it finished!
    In just one more sleep it will be your birthday!
    Love you.
    🙂 Mandy xoxoxo

  • Reply
    solidgoldcreativity
    October 3, 2016 at 1:53 am

    Geez, what Janet said was the pits. A neighbour said the same thing to me a few years ago and it hurt like crazy (and I was supposed to be grown up). Truth is, our dear little 5-year-old, 7-year-old, 11-year-old selves are still here, all so tender and beautiful. Don’t ever make yourself wrong for being tender, Kimmy. The world needs it xx

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      October 3, 2016 at 4:40 am

      Narelle,
      how true. My middle school self still lives within me…
      but now she is much more powerful and has less pity parties! xxx

  • Reply
    Jodi Aman
    October 3, 2016 at 5:08 am

    I get tons of rejection. Tons. I think I try for more things and thus get more. (That’s how I make myself feel like not such a loser.)

  • Reply
    Peta Kaplan
    October 3, 2016 at 8:47 am

    I’m with you. Rejection sucks. Big time.

    Statistically speaking though, it takes 20 shots of rejection before getting one positive response. Sigh. So we gotta keep plugging away.

    Such a great piece. Well written.

    Peta

  • Reply
    ladyfi
    October 3, 2016 at 9:46 am

    Rejection is tough – and learning about that is one of life’s horrible lessons. I’m shocked that The New Yorker didn’t spell Dear correctly.

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      October 3, 2016 at 2:58 pm

      Me, too…
      but also thrilled that even
      (((The New Yorker))))
      is not PERFECT!!! xxx because believe me, I LOVE love LOVE that magazine.

  • Reply
    Dad
    October 3, 2016 at 11:36 am

    I agree with Carrie, I don’t think anyone likes rejection, I know I don’t, but I don’t let it get to me to much.
    Everyone gets rejected sometime in their life, it’s how you handle it that matters.
    Love You
    Dad

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      October 3, 2016 at 2:59 pm

      So true, daddy.
      I’m a bit of a baby…
      but I keep moving forward.
      LOOOOOOVE UUUUUUUUU> xxxxx

  • Reply
    Nikky44
    October 3, 2016 at 6:15 pm

    Rejection sucks. You’re right. Any kind of it. It even feels worse when you are giving of yourself whether to a magazine or a friend or family. It sucks but we get over it

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      October 3, 2016 at 9:26 pm

      Yes, Nikky,
      we have a little pity party then go kick ass! xxx kiss for you.

  • Reply
    Jeri
    October 4, 2016 at 8:00 pm

    Rejection does indeed sucks, but the way I look at it many thing in life suck. At least you know you tried, and you aimed for The New Yorker. That’s pretty ballsy. I’m working on a piece right now for Idaho Magazine. I figure my chances are better to get some pieces published in local and regional publications first. But I am on my way to submitting and trying damnit! Bring on the rejection!

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      October 5, 2016 at 4:51 am

      HAaaa. LOL,
      so, you’re one of “Those” writers I was talking about!
      You rock, Jeri! xx
      Good luck, darling. I have NO doubt you will get published in Idaho Magazine Mag!

  • Reply
    Marie Kléber
    October 7, 2016 at 1:45 am

    I have a hard time with rejection. I do take it too personally. It feels like another “not good enough” slap in my face.
    But past the pity party, I am back on my two feet thinking “these guys did not get me – I can do without them – I am strong and beautiful – and as long as I am inspiring other people, I am at peace with myself”.
    Writing is about offering something to somebody. And you do it with EVERY ONE OF YOUR WORDS KIM. YOU ARE A STAR!!
    xoxo

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      October 7, 2016 at 4:52 am

      AMEN, sister Marie,
      I couldn’t agree w/ you more.
      xxxx from MN.

  • Reply
    Liz
    October 8, 2016 at 8:07 am

    I seem to be ultra sensitive to rejection. I’ll take your words to heart—though hard to hear, rejection is a chance for growth. Maybe this will result in less pity parties! xo

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      October 12, 2016 at 4:49 am

      Liz,
      intellectually, we know all that stuff,
      but TELL the heart! xx

  • Reply
    Julie Gardner
    October 10, 2016 at 10:43 am

    Being rejected is HORRIBLE. And as a writer for the past eight years I’ve been rejected more times than The Help, thank you very much (PS I hate when people throw that around for inspiration, don’t you?).

    The only thing worse than being rejected is watching your kids be rejected.
    Oof. I’d take failure all day long to keep them from suffering.

    That’s as real as it gets for me. I hate watching my children struggle. They are good people. SUCH good people.
    This may be off topic, but it’s what I thought of when I read this.

    Reject me, fine. Just please, world. Love my babies.

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      October 12, 2016 at 4:50 am

      Julie,
      I agree.
      My boys are EVERYTHING! LOVE them more than my life! xxx

  • Reply
    Dana
    October 11, 2016 at 4:12 pm

    If you never take a risk, you won’t get rejected. Right? That’s what I tell myself anyway. If you never submit, you won’t get accepted either.

    Janet sucks.

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      October 12, 2016 at 4:50 am

      LOL.
      Janet ( not her real name ) sucks rotten eggs! x

  • Reply
    Hilary
    October 19, 2016 at 3:48 am

    rejection stings… but unfortunately it is part of life and it does get easier….

  • Reply
    Gary Sidley
    October 20, 2016 at 1:37 am

    Perhaps I set my sights low, but I’m satisfied if I receive a response at all (at least with regards to fiction or general interest pieces) – most publications don’t respond. And I try to reassure myself with the fact that JK Rowling was rejected many times for her Harry Potter novels before gaining acceptance.

    And one positive about many rejections – when you do get something published it is a much more uplifting feeling. A couple of weeks ago I got my first bit of recognition for a fictional short story (runner up in a writing magazine short-story competition) and I felt like I’d won the lottery!!

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