“You can’t cage an eagle for long without destroying it.” ― Patricia Briggs
Dedicated to my darling sister, Kay, whom was murdered 6 years ago on May 26 by her estranged husband. I will love you forever and always, until the end of time.
~~~While chatting with the science teacher today, I notice a small plastic bag with a dragonfly inside. Me being me, I pick up the bag to get a closer look. I glare into it like one of those stupid human beings gawking at zoo animals. To be truthful, I detest animals locked up, monkey’s running to and fro from boredom, silverback gorillas stuck behind smeared glass, and the king of the jungle caged up like a trophy.
This is no life. This is not living.
Gazing at the dragonfly is like being back there, that same ghastly sensation of hopelessness, helplessness.
The scent of sh*t and chemicals and loneliness.
I study her inside the plastic bag, observe her long insecty legs twitching, her translucent wings fluttering, her veins twisting like black blood.
I should set her free, open a window, allow her to soar into the sapphire sky. How can I just stand here doing nothing? A G A I N. Always passive. Always without voice. Always…
I think about the dragonfly all day long. First hour. Second hour. Third hour.
Her wings compressed. Her dragonfly brain questioning why she’s unable to move freely. Her little dark eyes darting right and left wondering how she got here in the first place…
…inside this room, inside this suffocating plastic.
Forth hour. Fifth hour.
I try to rationalize her existence. She’s only one dragonfly. It’s for science for god’s sake. It’s for the students. It’s for examination. And after all, she doesn’t even have a beating heart. Does she?
I think about my sister, Kay, and other women who are inside a plastic bag, too, and my stomach turns and curls like I’m about to become sick.
The image of crushed wings and caged souls hurts hurts hurts me; a clenched fist opening and closing, a shadow without light.
I email the science teacher asking if she will be liberating the dragonfly. Immediately, she emails me back.
“I liberated our beautiful friend after school,” she said. “By the time I grabbed my camera to capture a photo, she was already gone.”
I like to visualize my sister doing the exact same thing. Her wings spread broad and boundless and beautifully free.
—-Dear, reader, are your wings being crushed? Is your soul bruised and hurting? If so, help available to you, my darling.
—Call the National Domestic Abuse Hotline Today: 1-800-799-7233
—Make a Safety Plan: HERE
Never. EVER. Stay Silent About Domestic Abuse. You are worth EVERYTHING. You are LOVED abundantly.