In Memory of Kay Kim's Blogs

Is There An Upside To Disaster, Death, & Darkness?


–Hear my cry, O God, listen to my prayer.  From the ends of the earth I call to you.  I call as my heart grows faint:  lead me to the rock that is higher than I.—Psalm 61

Kay's son's dog,  Abbey.

Kay’s son’s dog, Abbey.

When my sister,  Kay, was getting ready to leave her 25 year marriage, her soon to be ex-husband shot her 3 times in back of the head. She was walking out the door to go for a hike on her favorite West Duluth Trail.  She was making plans for a new life, a better life, a life where she was lifted up, valued, listen to, and loved.  This was the life she had always wanted.


“Kim,  this time I’m going to leave for good.  This time I’m strong enough to make it on my own.”


She didn’t make it out the front door.


The days, weeks, and years that followed were the darkest days of my existence.  They were days of sobbing uncontrollably, ceaselessly.  They were nights of sleeplessness, nightmares, hopelessness, &  the drinking of too much red wine. The pain was excruciating, and to be totally honest,  the thought of suicide crossed my mind more than once.  I mean, I could become painless if I wanted to. I could become gone if I wanted to.  It would have been easy to turn into oncoming traffic or jump off the High Bridge.  So damn easy.


But I didn’t.  I couldn’t.  No. How could I distress my family like that after Kay’s horrific murder?  I may have lost my sanity, my dignity, my mind, my religion, but I still had some rational thoughts left.


When I look back on those five years, those mourning years,  it’s a blur, a fog, a time of heaviness and heartache, a time of sharp edges and black fangs.  I can’t remember the first year.  Was my heart beating?  Was I even alive?  Did you know me back then?  Did you know I was dead, too?  ( at least,  I thought I was )


Perhaps those were the years I grew in the most unexpected ways so I could tell you what I know now.


For example, I’m alive. I survived. I’ve ascended from the bottom of the abyss. It wasn’t easy;  I could’ve died a thousand times,  I could’ve drank myself to into oblivion,   I could’ve drowned inside my own sorrow,  I could’ve placed my head inside an oven like Plath or stuffed my pockets with stones like Woolf or wrapped flowing scarves around my neck like Duncan.


I could’ve done so many things.  I could’ve ended the pain.


Rather,   I’ve decided to embrace it,  accept it,  incorporate it into my new life.   I’ve decided to allow it to become part of me,  the part that makes me get up in the morning.  My sister would’ve wanted that.


Is there an upside to disaster, death, & darkness?




You recognize you can,  even in the blackest, bleakest, shittiest hours– move forward, onward,  and towards a different path;  a path where you now have two voices to share with the universe.


—-Darling,  reader,  have you experienced an upside to tragedy?  If so,  how have you changed?

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  • Reply
    June 18, 2015 at 9:12 am

    Love you

  • Reply
    Maniparna Sengupta Majumder
    June 18, 2015 at 9:40 am

    Oh! It is hard to believe that someone could murder his wife so horrifically just because she wanted a divorce 🙁

    I can understand the overwhelming grief you are holding in your mind. No word of consolation would be enough.

    May her soul rest in peace.

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      June 19, 2015 at 7:57 am

      he wanted her to himself. he wanted his money. he wanted the control.


  • Reply
    June 18, 2015 at 12:25 pm

    I think there are silver linings everywhere, and that is what surrounds the darkness and despair. You found yours, and the world is a better place for it. xoxo

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      June 19, 2015 at 7:58 am

      isn’t it amazing how dark and light can co-exist? xx

  • Reply
    Elephant's Child
    June 18, 2015 at 1:31 pm

    I don’t believe we ever ‘get over’ tragedies. Instead we find a way to live with them. Knowing that some days we will be beaten down to the floor.
    And I love that your resilience and strength allows you to rise. Time and time again.
    Hugs – as always. And oceans of caring. Also always.

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      June 19, 2015 at 7:58 am

      Dear S,
      thank you for your continued, lovely support. xxx

  • Reply
    nan @ lbddiaries
    June 18, 2015 at 1:54 pm

    You became strong. You found inner strength, something a lot of people never find. You kept stumbling forward until you actually did find light at the end of a dark tunnel. In that light, you gave Kay life – a life that will help others to live. How did I change after tragedy? I discovered that unimaginable pain won’t kill you and that you actually can forgive the perpetrator of that pain. And when you do? You set yourself free to live an unimaginable joyful life.

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      June 19, 2015 at 8:00 am

      beautiful words. Thank you!! xxxx

  • Reply
    Kim Gagnon
    June 18, 2015 at 4:50 pm

    My Kimmy,
    No one knows what you’ve been through unless they’ve experienced a deep loss but to each individual their pain is their own and only you ( they ) know and experience your own loss/ pain in your (their) own way. I knew in my heart you would survive and it would be a matter of time. But at that time it’s so raw you can’t see beyond it. I had faith in you because you are strong; with your faith, family and friends. You are my inspiration and I love you for all that you are. You have done so much to help others and I’m so proud of you. Cherish and keep alive the memories. Someday you and Kay will be together and I believe the first thing she will tell you is how proud she is of you. Xoxo K

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      June 19, 2015 at 8:02 am

      thank you for ALWAYS standing with me. I love you, my root friend. xxx

  • Reply
    Totally Caroline
    June 18, 2015 at 7:20 pm

    you have the most beautiful heart, despite the ugliness you have witnessed. It makes you shine even brighter ❤️❤️❤️

  • Reply
    Balroop Singh
    June 18, 2015 at 8:01 pm

    Some tragedies can never be forgotten…some moments never pass, they keep standing before us for eternity. Kay’s murder is like that. I share your sorrow Kim. I know it can never pass.

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      June 19, 2015 at 8:03 am

      never pass…but we continue living with that pain. xxx

  • Reply
    Juanita Whitebird
    June 18, 2015 at 10:12 pm

    Isn’t it bitter sweet she was at the door, in my heart’s eye I see her soul going thru the door, heading to a new start of a journey ~ not facing her predator but stepping into a world that would make her the happiest…tho I know not your torment in having her ripped from your lives ~ I believe those most blessed receive the ultimate when their souls leave this world…

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      June 19, 2015 at 8:04 am

      what a beautiful thought. I love this: I see her soul going thru the door, heading to a new start of a journey. She did. Thank you! xxx

  • Reply
    Hotly Spiced
    June 19, 2015 at 2:10 am

    What a beautiful dog. I know you’ve had a terrible time of mourning and loss but I’m so glad you chose to move forward and not let what he did to your sister, ruin your life as well. It takes a lot of courage and can certainly seem like the harder path, but look how many people you have reached with your voice xx

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      June 19, 2015 at 8:05 am

      I thank God I have this platform to SCREAM and Express and Reach out!

      What a blessing. xx

  • Reply
    June 19, 2015 at 4:48 am

    Thank you for sharing yourself and Kay with all of us. I’ve learned that life goes on no matter what. Time and God offer comfort and everyone grieves in their own way. So glad you chose to stick around and share your talents with us.

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      June 19, 2015 at 8:06 am

      I’ll stick around a little longer, I think! xx

  • Reply
    June 19, 2015 at 6:47 am

    I know you have suffered so terribly since Kay’s murder but how incredible you are to have moved to a place where you are able to function and help others. YOU ARE INCREDIBLE!
    Thank you for all you do to help others who are in similar positions. You are their hero.
    Have a beautiful love filled happy weekend Kim.
    🙂 Mandy xoxoxoxo

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      June 19, 2015 at 8:07 am

      I’ve already met you thru your sweet words! Love flowing to S. Africa. xxxx

  • Reply
    June 19, 2015 at 7:25 am

    My dearest Kim, this is such a powerful post! God must have something very special planned for you, to have kept you safe and sane through such darkness. I fully believe that! I’m sure you’re already helped countless people, either those suffering through domestic abuse or contemplating leaving or waffling about going back. Hang in there, my friend — there’s more work to do, you know!

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      June 19, 2015 at 8:11 am

      without GOD, I would’ve perished 5 years ago, darling.

      xxx thank you for reading my mourning.

  • Reply
    Peg Saice
    June 19, 2015 at 7:37 am

    My story of grief has a different scenario , as I lost my soulmate, my husband of 30 years . I found him and touched him and he was cold. It was April 14th 2009. My grief immobilized me. I suffered from PTSD , had panic attacks, did not eat. I could not drive a car for 2 months. Family stayed with me at nite for 2months. I did not go back to work for 9 months. I tried but could not as I was a teacher and not mentally or emotionally able to do my job. I was placed in a different school in Jan 2010, and that year Kim lost her sister, and Nancy lost her husband. Grief flooded back although I had never lost it.i went to grief support, and counseling for two years , and everyone thought she is getting stronger( somehow I hate that term for grief) but inside I knew at any day I could literally throw myself under a bus. I had family, friends but was so lonely.
    Then something happened. I met a person through grief support that was as broken as I. We both had black labs. We healed each other. He accepts that the love of my life is on the other side. Nothing can or will change that.
    I chose to live, so now I travel the states and live in a 32 ft. Rv. With 2 black labs and a man who loves me unconditionally. I have written 10 journals since the day my world changed. It helps.
    Kim I will never forget our talks at school. I felt transported to a place where it was just you and I , sharing. Then I would come back to being in a computer lab with 32 5th graders, thinking holy shit how did that happen?
    You are a amazing woman, and I just have a feeling I will see you on Ellen someday !

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      June 19, 2015 at 8:09 am

      I know. When we met, I felt connected, as if we were part of the same club, you know? Did you know you inspired me? What an amazing story of strength and endurance and RISING UP.
      I’d love to meet you if you’re ever back in Duluth! xxxx

      • Reply
        Peg Saice
        June 20, 2015 at 7:29 am

        I am in Duluth for the summer and until the cold weather comes. I would love to see u!

  • Reply
    lisa thomson
    June 19, 2015 at 9:00 am

    You’re so inspiring Kim!! You’re helping so many see the light. Thank you xoxoxoxo

  • Reply
    Little Chickie
    June 19, 2015 at 10:15 am

    Well for me I was able to recognize what I’ll refer to as blind abuse. It was a process though. I mean I’d get stabbed with spiritually abusive remarks, and a part of me would tell myself, this is wrong, but another part of me said I was to blame.

    At first I absorbed it into my knowledge base, but it did not yet enter my spiritual base. I went through the nightmares, I went through the grief, I went through the anger. I now grieve and pray for women who are in abusive situations. I write poetry for them. I post things to my wall that educate what abuse is.

    I will never forget what I went through, but I’ve learned to embrace myself as a daughter of God. I allowed myself to love again, I recognize what a decent man is because I experienced a dark man.

    I DO NOT take my kind Christian man for granted.

    Have I forgiven my ex? I’m not sure, because when I think of him I enter such a dejected state of mind like,…Why did I allow it? Why didn’t I see it? Why couldn’t I leave, why did I waste my time and emotions? It makes me feel foolish.

    But then I have to remind myself that I was delivered and I can help others. I can pray for others, I can write.

    I’m so proud of you Kim. I know I’ve said this before but it’s worth repeating. Your blog helped me cry. I needed so badly to cry but I couldn’t. I needed to get mad, I needed to just see/recognize what was done to me.

    Keep up the fabulous work. You are a God send to so many.


    Little Chickie

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      June 19, 2015 at 8:31 pm

      Little Chickie,
      I appreciate your words greatly. So lovely. xxxx

  • Reply
    Caroline Abbott
    June 19, 2015 at 11:47 am

    I experienced the betrayal of my husband becoming emotionally then physically abusive over our 20 year marriage. I finally found the courage to get a restraining order and have him barred from our house and my life. Yes, that was a dark time. Then, I had to fight for my children in custody court. Even darker. What did I learn? I learned that I have to stand up for myself, not depend on others to do it for me. This was a hard, painful lesson for me to learn. After I left, God changed my life’s path, and I became a domestic violence advocate, blogger, and author. I also remarried an amazingly loving kind man, and am now helping him raise his kids, who were very broken by his first marriage. So, I am continuing to learn to depend on God each day to help me be a step-mom which is really HARD. And I am learning what it takes to be a writer and author – also hard work, but worthwhile as I help other women who are being abused. If I’d never been through that dark time myself, I would never have been able to help others in this way. So, difficult to experience the pain, but full of blessings at the same time.

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      June 19, 2015 at 8:32 pm

      thank you for sharing some of your story. This is brave.
      I agree about GOD. Without HIM, I would have perished 5 years ago. & that’s the truth. xxx

  • Reply
    Marcia @ Menopausal Mother
    June 19, 2015 at 1:06 pm

    I remember when my newborn son died, I could only see the darkness in my grief. How could there be an up side to the death of a baby? But in time, as I healed, I took my experience and used it to help and comfort others. In the end, I realized I had made a difference in the lives of other grieving mothers, and that yes, I had finally found the up side to loss.

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      June 19, 2015 at 8:35 pm

      One of my favorite preachers said, “God will never waste your pain.”
      I love that so much.
      Helping others, empathy, love, sharing our stories, understanding without judgment…
      this is what he’s talking about. If we are not serving others, what does it all mean?
      I am so sorry about your loss. I know you’ve been thru HELL. xxxxx

  • Reply
    June 19, 2015 at 3:41 pm

    Kim, you are such an inspiration for so many reasons. For me, turns out growing-up with my very bi-polar mother only worked to prepare me for being literally abandoned by my now ex-husband. The world works work mysterious ways. Every tragedy makes us look long and hard at ourselves, and the strong ones like us, just keep going forward even when it seems impossible.

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      June 19, 2015 at 8:36 pm

      beautiful and insightful, Jeri. Thank you for sharing that. xx

  • Reply
    Shay from Trashy Blog
    June 20, 2015 at 6:47 am

    Kim, I find SO MUCH inspiration in every single one of our posts. Kay is an angel in Heaven, and you are an angel on earth.

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      June 20, 2015 at 7:28 am

      thank you for those beautiful words, darling. xx

  • Reply
    Susan boswell
    June 20, 2015 at 7:55 am

    I love this post. Yes there are two Kim’s. It’s a miracle that you are still alive and walking, the old Kim I grew to know and love ten years ago and the one who walked out of the darkness. You have made certain Kaye’s death was not in vain and you’ve done so much to let her story not die with Kaye and to use it to help others. I am so proud of you- both of you.
    Susan b

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      June 20, 2015 at 8:44 am

      Susan b.
      I love your comments and encouragement SOOO Much! xxxxx

  • Reply
    Anna @ shenANNAgans
    June 20, 2015 at 7:56 am

    How do you do it? How do you be so fabulous and great and bright and loving and amazing and lovely and sweet and outrageous and fun and brilliant and sassy? I love visiting your blog for my weekly reminders to keep on trucking and to never give up.
    Thanks for being you. And have a super happy weekend too. Hugs across the oceans from a chilly Australia. xox

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      June 20, 2015 at 8:45 am

      you are amazingly sweet and fabulous! kiss from MN. xxxxx

  • Reply
    Chris Carter
    June 20, 2015 at 8:30 am

    You are the light that shines for broken hearts and lives everywhere…

    Keep illuminating your strength, your gripping, gut-wrenching story, and your gift of hope and healing…

    There are hurting souls who need you and Kay… so many hurting souls who need you and Kay… so many hurting souls who need you and Kay…

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      June 20, 2015 at 8:45 am

      have I told you lately that I really love you!? xx

  • Reply
    Lorraine @Not Quite Nigella
    June 20, 2015 at 9:59 am

    That is a hard one darling Kim because I do believe that things happen for a reason but I can’t say that I’ve ever lost someone in such tragic circumstances so I can’t even possibly conceive what the reason might be. xxx

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      June 20, 2015 at 12:20 pm

      I believe things happen for a reason too…for us to grow, love deeper, share our grief, and serve the universe.


  • Reply
    June 20, 2015 at 11:40 am

    Trying to embrace a positive aspect out of what can only seem negative, takes a lot of fortitude that comes from a loving place.

    Your powerful verbalisation and your determination to have reasons to live, to rejoice, are assuredly what your beloved, departed sister loves about you.

    Hugs and hope,

    Gary xx

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      June 20, 2015 at 12:21 pm

      you are quite sweet. thank you, as always for you lovely words. xx

  • Reply
    June 20, 2015 at 2:50 pm

    It’s so hard going through situations like this… I can’t imagine. Lots of good and positive vibes to you.

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      June 20, 2015 at 2:55 pm

      Thank you, PorkStar. It is appreciated. x

      • Reply
        June 20, 2015 at 3:12 pm

        BTW, I followed your advice and i put names on the pictures… well not names but I made sure people will know they are mine 🙂

  • Reply
    June 20, 2015 at 3:21 pm

    “Rather, I’ve decided to embrace it, accept it, incorporate it into my new life. ” You are beautiful, gorgeous and inspiring. Love you, Kim.

  • Reply
    Kristi Campbell
    June 20, 2015 at 8:26 pm

    I’m so angry and so hurt and so feeling all of the feels with your posts, Kim. That you educate and inform and remind women and people that love is not jealousy or pain or murder, is HUGELY important and just wow. Sending you all of the loves and all of the prayers and all of the feels. xxooxxoo forever

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      June 20, 2015 at 8:29 pm

      I just adore all of your “FEELS,” Kristi Campbell. xxxx

  • Reply
    Carrie Reimer
    June 21, 2015 at 10:55 am

    Kim, I can’t possibly compare my pain to what you have gone through, but your blog inspired me to be gut wrenching honest about my painful experiences in my blog. And when a have a woman who feels she can’t leave her abusive husband I send them to your blog for a shot of reality and I always tell them to take a box of tissue. You are amazing, such an inspiration.
    When women ask me “When will I be my old self again?” I tell them never, it is impossible to experience the devil and not be changed for life, when you experience true evil, there is no way to get your innocence back. The experience is part of you now, forever more; it is what you do with that pain that matters, you can let it destroy you or you can use it to become a better you.
    I was so broken when I left my ex I didn’t think I would ever put myself back together. It has been almost 5 years since I sat on the couch in dingy old trailer and tried to take my own life, with his words ringing in my ears. “Why don’t you kill yourself, no man is ever going to want a paranoid, ungrateful, bitch like you anyway. You made my life hell for 10 years.” When my attempt failed I decided no man is ever going to determine my worth and I started putting myself back together, piece by piece. I kept the pieces I liked about myself, accepted some things I can’t change and didn’t own the things that were never mine to pack and I found inner peace like I never thought possible. I always say I stopped trying to find the old me and started trying to be the best me I could be.
    Helping others, sharing my experiences honestly (which you inspired) and accepting myself has brought me such deep inner peace and transformed the worst thing that ever happened to me into the best thing that ever happened to me. I know you can never view Kay’s death a good thing, but how you have dealt with it has brought much goodness into the world.
    Your words have transformed many lives and saved countless others.
    You have proven that evil will not win, can not win.
    Much love to you my friend. You are awesome!
    ps what a beautiful dog. I don’t know where I would be if I hadn’t had the love and companionship of my dog. I think they are God’s special gift to people. There is a reason their name spelled backwards is God.

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      June 22, 2015 at 8:31 am

      I always say I stopped trying to find the old me and started trying to be the best me I could be***

      WOW, what transformative, beautiful words, Carrie.

      YOU Inspire, darling. LOVE!!!! xxxxx

  • Reply
    June 22, 2015 at 3:05 am

    You did it Kim. And you amaze me. You are one of the most beautiful soul in this world. Keep shining. Keep spreading Love. It’s what the world needs. Your Love, Your Words, Your Energy, Your Light.

  • Reply
    Valentine Logar
    June 22, 2015 at 3:40 am

    I decided to dance with my demons. To rise up and talk about them, to expose them for what they were. I decided to walk through the gates of prisons and face violence head on, tell those who commit these horrific acts what it means, what violence does to all of us. To all their victims. I rose up.

    I love you. You are a light.

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      June 22, 2015 at 8:32 am

      OOOOOOO, Val,
      the power in you words just gave me ((SHIVERS))

      Love you. xx

  • Reply
    Dawn Mayo
    June 22, 2015 at 8:28 am

    RIP, I hope she has find some peace in her life in her untimely passing..

  • Reply
    Janine Huldie
    June 22, 2015 at 4:39 pm

    I think you know I just wrote similar today about my own loss of my grandfather and you are so right about the early stages of grieving and how when you finally do begin to heal (if it can be called that), you can’t even begin to remember exactly what you went through when you first did lose the person dearest and closest to your heart. Hugs and thank you for always being so open and honest here 😉

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      June 23, 2015 at 6:46 am

      Thank you for reading, Janine. It’s nice to know we’re not alone in the world. x

  • Reply
    Barbara @ Barbara Bakes
    June 22, 2015 at 6:37 pm

    I didn’t understand the pain of losing someone until I lost my mom. I can barely even comprehend the depth of your loss.

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      June 23, 2015 at 6:47 am

      Dear, B,
      that about explains it. I remember asking my husband, “How can my heart keep beating?”

      xx Sorry about your mother. incomprehensible.

  • Reply
    June 22, 2015 at 10:48 pm

    Life moves forward, with or without us, one painful step at a time.

    Thank you so much for sharing your story with us.

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      June 23, 2015 at 6:48 am

      Lady Fi,
      that’s the thing…No matter what happens, the sun still rises.

      And sometimes we’re not ready for that! xx

  • Reply
    June 22, 2015 at 11:57 pm

    So happy to have found you, Kim. This is my first post. I love this article. You wrote from the depths of your pain and offered hope. Many blogs don’t give the reader hope. Without it we get stuck in the abyss and never move forward. It is a living death. So thank you. I will spend today reading your blog posts!

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      June 23, 2015 at 6:50 am

      my earlier posts are darker, blacker, more screaming, more crying…. but I always had hope.

      thank you for reading, darling. xx

  • Reply
    Angie@Angie's Recipes
    June 23, 2015 at 3:18 am

    You are really inspiring, my amazing friend.

  • Reply
    June 23, 2015 at 7:17 am

    I love your blog Kim, you write with your heart and soul. I am so proud of you.
    You don’t even know how many people that you have helped. You are so precious.
    Love You

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      June 23, 2015 at 2:01 pm

      I love you more than chocolate, ice-cream, & yellow tulips. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  • Reply
    June 23, 2015 at 7:42 am

    Kim – I’ll never believe the idea that everything happens for a reason. I also don’t believe we can ever eradicate hate. What are we to do when tragedy strikes, then? Just as you have. To experience the lows and discoveries and growth that come in its aftermath.

    I’m honored to have read your words here, so soulfully expressed. Your words are an upside to me.

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      June 23, 2015 at 8:53 am

      without changing my perspective on WHY THE F*CK my sister was allowed to be murdered, I would have died, perished, stopped living.

      I tried to stop living….but God had bigger plans.

      –finding gratitude for what “”is left”” was the only way I could move forward.


      thank you for reading. xx

  • Reply
    June 23, 2015 at 4:36 pm

    I’m so glad that you’re here and that you found this platform to inspire all of us. Your no holds barred writing teaches us to love and embrace the highs and the lows. Thank you!

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      June 23, 2015 at 6:10 pm

      that’s been one of my down falls in life: I don’t hold back!!!
      … but I guess that can be good, too 🙂 xx

  • Reply
    June 24, 2015 at 3:15 am

    Your courage and love inspire me, Kimmy. You are a leader in the world xx

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      June 24, 2015 at 7:48 am

      you make me smile. thank you. xxxx 🙂

  • Reply
    Dawn in MI
    June 24, 2015 at 3:07 pm

    I just spent two hours this afternoon calling US Senators offices, trying to impress on their staff the importance of voting NO on an amendment to the massive Appropriations Bill tomorrow. The amendment would allow 33 ft double trailers on semi trucks. In all states. Up from the 28 feet allowed now. The safety issues should be obvious, but sometimes the American Trucking Association money is more obvious.

    This all comes about because of the death of my dad, now 11 years ago. I remember those first days…weeks, months. Years. A tired trucker killed him while trying to make a living. Life as I knew it ended that day.

    So these days I speak up, call politicians, talk to anyone that will listen. I used to hate politics. I still do. I hate even more talking on the phone. But I do it. I go to meetings with high level officials and speak my mind. I console new families who have lost family or been injured themselves. I hold them and cry with them. Then I go home and cry alone.

    I’ve grown in ways I can’t even explain. All because Dad died the way he did. To be honest I wish I was still the shy, reserved, uninformed person I used to be. Because then I’d have my dad back. But I don’t. So there’s nothing to do but carry on. To honor him. It’s the only way.

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      June 24, 2015 at 3:35 pm

      OOO, Dawn,
      this, my darling, is exactly what I was talking about.
      Your daddy is proud of you. xxx

  • Reply
    June 25, 2015 at 3:53 am

    I think the hardest things we experience make us stronger and shape us into better people…. Hugs to you my friend. I am so happy you are a fighter. You have touched my life so much

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      June 25, 2015 at 10:27 am

      you and Lucy have touched my life, too 🙂 PURrrrrr

  • Reply
    June 25, 2015 at 1:55 pm

    OMG, my thoughts are with you. May God bless you!

  • Reply
    cindy laakkonen
    August 18, 2015 at 2:16 pm

    He shot my sister in the face 3 times : (((

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