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You Like Me, You Really Like Me (validating ourselves thru social media)


 

 

 

 

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“Social Media isn’t about “reach” as much as it is about “reach out”.” ― Michele Jennae

 

 

Son-of-a-bitch.

 

 

It’s like being back in high school.  Those same feelings.  Those same insecurities.  The popular girls whispering secrets in the hallway, snickering,  tossing long blond hair,  disregarding, aloof, arctic ice.

 

 

I don’t know about you,  but I recall those days of not belonging, not fitting in,  not being enough.  Weird Goth girl.  Too much ebony eye-liner.  An abundance of lipstick.  Hiding behind words.

 

I still remember when the gym teacher,  Ms. Turnbloom,  a horrifying, spiteful woman with a Hitler mustache made us choose teams for kickball.

 

 

O’ myyyyy God,  I sense the queasiness,  even now.  The tightening of stiff fists inside my belly.

 

 

Pick me.      Choose me.        Want me.     Love me.

 

 

They never did,  well,   not until the end, anyway.

 

 

“Okay,  I guess I’ll take Sisto.”

 

 

Shrivel.   Up.

 

 

Not athletic enough.    Not smart enough.    Not thin enough.    Not pretty enough.

 

 

Those shitty sensations stay with a girl for a long time,  until she eventually forgets, moves on,  grows up.

 

 

And much more.

 

 

But then….

 

 

The birth of “Social Media” erupts like an ugly monster.

 

 

Twitter.     Facebook.    Instagram.    Blogs.

 

 

Do you still feel like you’re trying to fit in,  belong,  be liked, be heard, be seen, be validated?

 

 

Don’t lie,  your  nose will grow.  You will go to hell.  That’s what mama says.

 

 

Today, I heard a co-worker squeal,   “I got 100 likes on my Facebook page!”   Hell, I thought she’d won the Pulitzer, cured breast cancer,   won a trip to the Ellen DeGeneres Show.

 

 

Apparently,  in the 21st century, we need likes,  favors, tweets and massive blog hits to exist.

 

 

You like me!     You really like me!

 

 

Yeah, I’m guilty,  as well.   I mean, I’ve joined a few “Exclusive” groups on Facebook and haven’t received a single like, acknowledgment, or a ‘kiss my ass.’

 

 

Those same sensations rise to the surface like curdling, old cream.

 

 

Not significant enough.   Not intelligent enough.   Can’t add to the dialogue.  Gothic girl is strange.

 

 

Suddenly,  I see the popular girls twirling their hair,  teeth exposed like perfect rows of white pearls.

 

 

This is not metaphorical, of course!

 

 

But I’m sixteen again,  irrelevant again, in high school again.

 

 

Let me begin once more.

 

 

It’s all a Big Fat Lie.     All of it.

 

 

The likes,  the tweets,  the favors,  the followers,  the numbers, the fucking idiotic numbers.

 

 

Can’t you see it doesn’t matter a damn in the scheme of things?  Can’t you see it doesn’t define who you are, who you might become?

 

 

What matters is who you are in the “Real World.”

 

 

What matters is who you “Reach Out” to….Not how many people you “Reach.”

 

 

What matters is NOT how many followers you have on your blog,  but if the readers you do have experience God,  Love, & Authentic Truth thru your words.

 

 

And in your “Real Life.”

 

 

YES.   Absolutely.  YESSSSS.

 

 

Surely,  this is the meaning of life.

 

 

———Darling,  Reader,  do you define your worth thru social media?  Are you attracted to authentic people?

Remember Sally Field’s,  You Like Me! You Really Like Me!


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105 Comments

  • Reply
    Liz
    February 27, 2015 at 2:37 pm

    Likes are hollow.

  • Reply
    Barbara Hammond
    February 27, 2015 at 3:23 pm

    You are so right! But, unfortunately, we need some decent #’s as bloggers in order to get someone to sponsor or advertise so we can make a buck. I am somewhat on the fence about that. I would like to get some $ out of it all, but I want to be true to me and be able to write what I want to write, when I want to write it.
    I’ll let you know how that works out!
    xob
    Barbara Hammond recently posted..Here we go…. Into the Next Five Years!My Profile

  • Reply
    Brenda Lee
    February 27, 2015 at 5:33 pm

    Oh my dear Kim, you aren’t Liked, you are Loved! 🙂

    No, I don’t define my worth by social media because I don’t appeal to a lot of people. Some find me offense, some too blunt, some way out of line, but that’s fine because I define me by loving myself. I don’t think you can define one’s worth because each one of us are precious.

    The blogging world is just like school my friend. A bunch of cliques. Get into a few good communities and you’ll go far.

    Love ya girly!

    B
    Brenda Lee recently posted..A New Look May Just Be The Inspiration NeededMy Profile

  • Reply
    Kristi Campbell
    February 27, 2015 at 8:27 pm

    Aw fuck. Can I say fuck? Sorry. I so so try to not get into this and mostly am okay with not ever looking but but but… I’d have been better off if I’d never have had a post go “viral” (ugly word too right) because then it just feels like nobody is going to like anything the same way they did before…. and it sucks to be jealous of your own self. TMI? Anyway, yes. This. Stupid likes on FB are nothing. The PEOPLE. The PEOPLE and the YOU of all of this – that’s what matters. My life and my world are better because I read your words. Because I know your story and the passion that is behind it. My life is better because I believe in YOU and your words. And I need to be better about checking that stupid annoying Facebook “like” button when Facebook even shows me things because he’s kinda a dick about it.
    So much love to you sweets. xxoo
    Kristi Campbell recently posted..On Mommy Wars and The High Price of Being Self RighteousMy Profile

  • Reply
    jaklumen
    February 27, 2015 at 9:07 pm

    Here by way of Kristi (Finding Ninee) ^

    I simply had to get away from Facebook, and destroy my account. Too many people that were just downright toxic for me, including some relatives. I fled G+ for a time, simply because there was no way to get away from negativity. Some gutter sniping lowlife just HAD to have the last word.

    I did realize that I could find those sorts of malcontents anywhere, but, I learned ways to cut the connection from their ill effects. I did find it easier on some platforms– I found Twitter very much made it easy to swiftly cut off energy vampires.
    jaklumen recently posted..A Serious Discussion Regarding Mental HealthMy Profile

  • Reply
    Vidya Sury
    February 27, 2015 at 11:22 pm

    I feel kinda lucky I never got smitten with social media. Yes, I enjoy my participation, which is mostly sharing other peoples’ stuff I enjoyed reading, replying, interacting, but I’d never let it rule my life. I am more of an explorer in social media. Got too much going on offline, thank heavens.

    But yes, I totally get you about the need for validation….I have my dark memories too. 🙂 Funny how people can take over your mind with one miserable comment in school! Today, I know that if I survived that, I can survive anything. I’d rather hug and talk to people on the phone than fret over why a bunch of strangers did not “like” me. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t matter at all.

    Yet, again, I consider myself very lucky to have met gorgeous people like you, Kim – people I hold close to my heart and feel I’ve known all my life! ♥

    Your post is so powerful ♥
    Vidya Sury recently posted..Humbling Blocks of Life #GratitudeMy Profile

  • Reply
    ladyfi
    February 28, 2015 at 2:00 am

    I like the attention of social media, but it doesn’t define me. After all, I know where my OFF button is!
    ladyfi recently posted..SunburstMy Profile

  • Reply
    Sandra
    February 28, 2015 at 6:33 am

    You are so right on with this. Sometimes it does feel like being in high school, never being picked for the team and not being one of the cool kids. I’d like to say I don’t give a care about numbers, likes, etc. However, like some have said if you want to monetize your blog you need the numbers. It’s very cool though to find kick-ass chicks like you who are the real deal!
    Sandra recently posted..Comment on Mississippi Mud Cake ~ Cake Slice Bakers by Kyla @HouseOfHipstersMy Profile

  • Reply
    totally Caroline
    February 28, 2015 at 8:36 am

    From one former wierd goth girl to another, I think you are fab chicky! Social media is only what we allow it to be, that is my theory. We get to choose if we use it for good or evil. We can spy on our exes (evil which i have been guilty of) or connect with old friends (i reconnected with a girl I knew since i was 3, she is like my sister). I guess the trick is to stop using it when you know its pulling you in the wrong direction.

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      February 28, 2015 at 9:08 am

      —Caroline.
      I agree.
      I really love Social Media, Twitter, Facebook… !!!!
      but recently, I’ve noticed a bit of a popularity contest occurring.
      I mean, this is how I receive the content on my blog!!
      I see it. Heighten it up to the max. And write it!

      xxx Kisssssss
      Stop looking at Man-Whore’s Facebook Page!!!
      My Inner Chick recently posted..You Like Me, You Really Like Me (validating ourselves thru social media)My Profile

  • Reply
    Angie@Angie's Recipes
    February 28, 2015 at 12:19 pm

    Sometimes I really wonder how some people got 50K likes!
    I am not really crazy for Social Media…well, I did join them, have a plug-in installed on my blog..and I check them once in a LONG while. That’s probably all I did.
    Angie@Angie’s Recipes recently posted..Black Quinoa Loaf with Lentils, Sundried Tomatoes and CashewsMy Profile

  • Reply
    Debbie
    February 28, 2015 at 1:28 pm

    Kim, this is SUPER!! I, too, wasn’t one of those “popular girls.” At the time, I thought I was leading such a miserable life, when what I was doing was becoming Me, growing in wisdom and strength, learning to stand on my own two feet without the crowd. Not bad for a wallflower, huh?!

    You’re so right, though — social media has a way of sending us right back to those teenage years (and it’s not pretty!). We feel compelled to Like, Retweet, Connect, all that — sometimes at the expense of those in our circle who need our presence right here, right now. Shame on all of us for buying into the angst!!
    Debbie recently posted..Who Gets the Bully?My Profile

  • Reply
    Monica
    February 28, 2015 at 1:40 pm

    Ugh. This is so true, Kim. It’s almost pathetic how we’ve grown into a community of people who literally “Live” for the likes we get. And yes, I count myself among them. When I post a status update on FB I keep checking for likes. So how do we reverse this trend? How do we get off the merry-go-round? I know some folks who have quit FB, but is that the only solution, one I’m not ready to do? Even blogging, I’m starting to question, particularly since I haven’t blogged in weeks. I finally have a post I’ve written an am ready to upload, but beyond that, I have to ask myself, am I living in a social media world, or the real world? Sigh.
    Monica recently posted..Brazil, the Universe and EverythingMy Profile

  • Reply
    lisa
    February 28, 2015 at 2:04 pm

    I think I did, when I was first online, but it faded pretty quickly, when I realized it was becoming more of a task than a pleasure. Sooooooooo, I did a massive digital detox, and have been in the same little circle for abiut 5 years now. It no longer feels like a chore or a competition. It just feels nice, and would feel even nicer if I had a bit more time than I’ve had lately, to visit/chat, etc. 🙂

    Wishing you a wonderful weekend, sweet friend!! xo.

  • Reply
    Joan Peterson
    February 28, 2015 at 2:41 pm

    As always, you hit it out of the park. This is all too true and so perceptive. We bloggers need to check to see if anyone is looking. Why does it matter anyway? We are blogging for a reason though and want our message to reach a lot of people. What if it doesn’t? What then? Keep writing like this. I love it.
    Joan Peterson recently posted..Things are getting crazier in gun worldMy Profile

  • Reply
    nan @ lbddiaries
    February 28, 2015 at 3:34 pm

    I don’t care. I used to care. Back when I had that Google Friends thingie on the sidebar (which I can’t have anymore since I don’t have their blogging stuff), I loved the numbers. Guess what? Once that thing went inactive on the blog, did those people actually continue to post comments? Nope. It was a huge wake-up call – they weren’t real! They were just numbers; they were not real followers or people who actually DID read my posts and like them, then commented. So I sucked it up and decided if no one ever actually read and commented, I was fine with that.

    Like Alpha Hubby asked, ” Who are you writing for? What are you writing for?” I said, “Me, because I have to.” He said, “Then it doesn’t matter if anyone ever reads it, does it?” Ugh, Yes Mr. Logicical. I mean, he knows that it’s nice when people read but he’s also right – it just flat doesn’t matter. I write for me. And I for sure don’t Facebook so any friends are mostly people I knew back when. I check in occasionally but most of those who friended me just want me to go play games with them. HUH? Never a personal note or whatnot.

    I truly value the people who always take a few minutes and comment (thank you, darlink! I adore you.) because they are the only ones who really count. AWESOME post. Great reminder. Now can you come get me out of this locker I’m stuck in and help me get my lunch money back?
    nan @ lbddiaries recently posted..Barbie, Ken and GI Joe: Truth Comes OutMy Profile

  • Reply
    Anna @ shenANNAgans
    February 28, 2015 at 4:17 pm

    I like, like, like this post! 🙂

    Not gonna lie, sometimes the likes are just the thing I need to feel good, or feel connected. Other times it is cool knowing the evil bullies, mean girls or boy that rejected me can see what I’m up too, and maybe feel just that little twinge of hot dang, But really, its nice knowing that my tiny drop in the ocean gave someone seconds of the feel goods. 🙂
    Anna @ shenANNAgans recently posted..A Day of Pampering in Phuket, ThailandMy Profile

  • Reply
    Valentine Logar
    February 28, 2015 at 5:30 pm

    At the end of the day, you love me; you do? I am blessed
    Valentine Logar recently posted..Education is Under Attack in the USAMy Profile

  • Reply
    Choc Chip Uru
    February 28, 2015 at 5:40 pm

    Oh my god. Yes. You literally hit the nail on the head! My friends and I go out and BAM! We need to take a million selfies because they need other people to love that we have a life.
    Ridiculous. You lose the moment, the zest for life, Likes are nice no doubt, but people live for them, show their body for them. Calm down!

    Sorry I feel strongly about this 😛 I like it when people I care about see something of mine and appreciate it. I write my blog because I enjoy it, and my readers (like you) like it. 🙂 That is all we need no?

    Cheers
    Choc Chip Uru
    Choc Chip Uru recently posted..Food PornMy Profile

  • Reply
    lisa thomson-the great escape
    February 28, 2015 at 6:07 pm

    Oh, yes Kim. I absolutely do some days wonder if anyone is listening. “They hate me…” I remember there was one very cool, blonde B**** in junior High who used to torment me. Our last names started with the same letter and her locker was beside or near mine all through. I was mousy haired and pimply. She was mean and didn’t have one pimple that I could see. Funny thing is , all of her ‘friends’ were superficial. I found my tribe in ninth grade and I still have them (most of them).

    Social media is a weird place, yes? I mean we’re all talking at once and we forget to listen. I need authentic connection with people and that’s why I love you so much, Kim! I REALLY really love you! <3
    lisa thomson-the great escape recently posted..Dear Lisa-Reader QuestionMy Profile

  • Reply
    Jann
    February 28, 2015 at 6:22 pm

    Amen amen, Kim. Love this post so much. If someone pulled the plug on social media tomorrow, I’d rejoice. (Though I’d miss you, darlin’!) xxxxx
    Jann recently posted..Comment on Summer’s End by BellaMy Profile

  • Reply
    Michael Ann
    February 28, 2015 at 6:36 pm

    Amen!! Well done. I’ve been trying to talk about this and describe this to my friends and they don’t seem to really get it. FB is causing a lot of harm.
    Michael Ann recently posted..Cheesecake MousseMy Profile

  • Reply
    Mike
    February 28, 2015 at 8:06 pm

    Wow, the comments you inspired were as fascinating as the post itself, Kim! Have you noticed any FB posts by myself the past 2 months? Ya, there is a reason behind that. I can be such a contradiction within myself of self-confidence to self-doubt. I have not been the same without my wingman the past 6 months. Artificial environments never need to define us and yet we all subject ourselves to that unnecessarily. Myself included! Sweetie, I like and love YOU! Always know that…Mike 🙂
    Mike recently posted..Seattle Center Monorail in Seattle, WashingtonMy Profile

  • Reply
    Chris Carter
    February 28, 2015 at 9:25 pm

    Ah… what a crazy ride this social media rollercoaster is, eh?

    Funny though, as much as I *Sobadlywantlikes* I can honestly say, that I can use it to REACH OUT to people- and for that matter… I fuels me. The people I have developed relationships with- oh the PEOPLE!!!

    It’s in the reach, SO LARGE that social media gets me. All over THE. WORLD. I love it, as it has opened up my reach. To connect. Period.
    Chris Carter recently posted..Dear Christians…Take Off Your Halo, and Reach Out Your HandMy Profile

  • Reply
    Balroop Singh
    February 28, 2015 at 10:21 pm

    I love you Kim for inspiring so many people, for invoking those love-hate moments of student life…how we craved for friendships, which actually turned out to be phoney! Social media is also like those friends! You are SO right!
    Balroop Singh recently posted..Confessions Of A Writer Who Loses Track And Feels Disillusioned…My Profile

  • Reply
    Nikky44
    March 1, 2015 at 4:56 am

    What matters is who you “Reach Out” to….Not how many people you “Reach.”
    I love this. I was once feeling so alone and reacched out to a very dear friend and said how I feel. The reply was : but I never miss any of the things you post on facebook? I see it all and like them all?

    It is so sad. Makes me really sad that connecting to people became in liking their facebook posts.
    I think the reason why I always reject the idea of having a facebook page opened to public is that I’m scared of changing or feeling different. I’m afraid of believing the lie of social media, trusting that they like me, they really like me and then realize it is all just a big lie.
    Nikky44 recently posted..Gratitude Day 8: Happy Birthday M…….My Profile

  • Reply
    Ellen M. Gregg
    March 1, 2015 at 8:38 am

    Faaaantastic post, sweet Kim!

    I removed myself from Facebook one month ago. What a gift. I thought my Entrepreneurial Business professor’s head was going to spin off her body, even though she said, “I support you.” (I didn’t tell her I removed myself from LinkedIn, too. I can’t imagine how that might have gone.)

    Yes. The whole likes/favorites thing can swiftly dive into that suck pit known as The Need For External Validation. It’s an illusion, the whole lot of it. The only real validation any one of us truly needs is that of our own self-love and self-acceptance. When we choose ourselves, it doesn’t matter if anyone else chooses us. And if they do, it’s a little extra icing on an already perfectly iced cake.

    Something I’ve noticed among bloggers is a seeming need – almost requirement; as though it’s a rule – to comment and/or share as a form of reciprocation, even if the content they’re commenting on and/or sharing may not resonate. I don’t get it, and I don’t do it. I’ve considered more than once, and am considering again, discontinuing the comments section on my blog. It isn’t important to me. It’s there because it’s what’s usually done with blogs. We’ll see.

    Wishing you a beautiful day, lovely! Merry March! 🙂 xoxo

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      March 1, 2015 at 9:57 am

      Ellen,
      I always comment back. It’s just something I’ve always done. I like the connection. You know? On the other hand, I don’t like some of the meanness on SM, the exclusion, people who define themselves by likes, tweets, comments. It makes me so sad. And I’m talking about myself, too.

      xxxx kISSSSS
      My Inner Chick recently posted..You Like Me, You Really Like Me (validating ourselves thru social media)My Profile

  • Reply
    Jeri
    March 1, 2015 at 5:26 pm

    All of those social media notifications become like little rewards are brain covets. I have most of them turned off on my phone now, and that helped make the pull more more bearable.
    Jeri recently posted..Ten Great Things That Can Happen in Your First Year as a Published Author by Gerald FreemanMy Profile

  • Reply
    Dana
    March 1, 2015 at 5:44 pm

    I’m with you Kim! I have a love/hate relationship with social media – it drives me crazy yet I can’t stay away. And this line: What matters is who you “Reach Out” to….Not how many people you “Reach.” – YES.
    Dana recently posted..Six books to get you through this eternal winterMy Profile

  • Reply
    LuAnn Skorich
    March 1, 2015 at 5:47 pm

    Kim, you brought back memories of West Jr! I, too, had the exact same experiences in gym with Mrs. Turnbloom. To this day, I wonder why she was teaching phy-ed? Or anything? The feeling of being last picked… OK, I’ll take Bayless… It must have been you & I standing there in our gym suits of navy and white, feeling as though we’d like the floor to simply open and swallow us up. Took years to get over that. The “Like” situation brings back some of that, as you so eloquently say. I’ve boycotted FB, only to miss out on important news, so back I went. A “Like” from me is actually heartfelt; I don’t “Like” just for the sake of doing so. This has actually caused “some people” to confront me… “Why don’t you ever Like my (or my child’s, or my anybody’s) posts?!? Totally serious. Wasn’t congratulating/thanking/observing/whatever in person good enough? It’s like paying money to FB for “coins” to play their games… OOH, I reached another level… Do I get a badge?? The games are entirely virtual, as are the so-called rewards. Nothing is tangible. IMO, “Likes” are exactly the same. I will say, though, that I have been able to connect with SO many people from my past, relatives that have moved away, friends from High School, etc, that I will continue to use and value social media. That being said, there’s nothing like a letter or an actual Thank You card. Thanks for listening, Kim! Love you, LuAnn

  • Reply
    Hotly Spiced
    March 1, 2015 at 7:44 pm

    That’s such a good comparison. I would have picked you for my team, even with my long blond hair! I was always good at sports so was always picked for the team but I’m a real klutz when it comes to social media. Thank you for always sharing my posts on your twitter account – It’s greatly appreciated xx
    Hotly Spiced recently posted..In My Kitchen, March 2015My Profile

  • Reply
    Lorraine @ Not Quite Nigella
    March 2, 2015 at 1:22 am

    I am definitely attracted to authentic people. That’s why I read some blogs but not others. If I relate to that person then I will read them.

    And definitely do not define myself through social media-eeek! What a terrifying though! 😛 xxx
    Lorraine @ Not Quite Nigella recently posted..Out-Bone at Pinbone, a Noma Chef Pops up in SydneyMy Profile

  • Reply
    Charlotte
    March 2, 2015 at 8:44 am

    I know you can’t see me but I feel the need to stand and applaud this post. You know, I wasn’t the popular girl back in HS either and I always felt like the odd man out. And it was a shitty time indeed and I went through a lot of feels that even know are hard to think about. I think in the end it was character building but it’s funny how something as trite as how many followers of “likes” we have can still bring us back to those days, eh?

    Oh fuck it all. We have each other 🙂 That’s worth its weight in gold, my friend. You have such a strong supportive network of wonderful bloggers here. The rest is gravy, ya know? So much love to you, sweet girl 🙂 XOXO
    Charlotte recently posted..IV Chic review and weekend recapMy Profile

  • Reply
    Marie Kléber
    March 2, 2015 at 9:00 am

    Oh no Kim, I know that little crazy voice too well. And I discard it as soon as I hear it. Social media opened a new world to me. “But don’t get too attached or you’ll burn your pretty wings”. I have to remember this, every time I feel like the slow esteem is trying to find its way back to me. No comments, no likes and I feel left aside. Till I remember writing is my passion. And if only one person reads it, if it only talks to one person around, that’s fine with me. I don’t need likes to know I am fine and loved, and blessed.
    Love you!
    Marie Kléber recently posted..The Best Blogs on the Rocks – The Family Trees!My Profile

  • Reply
    Dad
    March 2, 2015 at 3:31 pm

    W a good blog Kim, I would pick you first for my team anytime.
    Love You So Much
    Dad

  • Reply
    Charlene Ross
    March 2, 2015 at 5:20 pm

    I don’t define myself by social media (I’d be a MESS if I did), but I do sometimes fall victim to checking a little (make that a lot) too often to see how many likes or reads I have. Especially if I’ve written something I think is particularly clever or good. I wish I could say that wasn’t true. But it is.

    I hope you know I LIKE you a lot!) 🙂
    Charlene Ross recently posted..He’s Leaving MeMy Profile

  • Reply
    solidgoldcreativity
    March 3, 2015 at 4:24 am

    You say it best, Kimmy: “What matters is NOT how many followers you have on your blog, but if the readers you do have experience God, Love, & Authentic Truth thru your words.” Wow! That’s it xx

  • Reply
    Lady Jennie
    March 3, 2015 at 5:24 am

    I don’t define it so much by social media, but I am definitely guilty of defining my self worth over my writing. How many sales? How many reviews? Do they like me?

    GAH. I keep reminding myself that in heaven I won’t care an iota.

    Bisous Kimmie!
    Lady Jennie recently posted..Just to Say Hi!My Profile

  • Reply
    Jodi Aman
    March 3, 2015 at 9:55 am

    No. Thank God above that I don’t. it would sink me. Oh, I feel the tempation. I am not above it, but I work hard to define myself in more preferred ways. The fact that I always touch my husband when I pass him. The fact that I know what is going on in my kids lives. The fact that I reach out to people who are hurting.
    Jodi Aman recently posted..Are high expectations killing you?My Profile

  • Reply
    Meditating mummy
    March 3, 2015 at 11:29 am

    Oh my gosh Kim, I love this post. So happy you wrote it.
    I think I’ve felt like I was on the outside looking in, most of my life. Never popular, always trying to fit in. Things are different now, I am raising two young girls, so I am mindful of how I approach this topic, the one where advertising every personal thing on social media or even taking photos to get a like or a comment is the new norm. I’ve said to them, once you put it out there, it is all out there,
    I sometimes feel I belong in a different era. I started my blog, so I could write about the books I love, topics that matter to me and occasional letters to Colin Firth 🙂
    I don’t always get a like or a comment but I do it for the sheer joy of it and hope that one day, some publishing house will like my reviews and offer me an opportunity to continue doing what I love.
    xxx
    Meditating mummy recently posted..Review -The Awakening of Miss Prim By Natalia Sanmartin FenolleraMy Profile

  • Reply
    Alison
    March 4, 2015 at 5:34 am

    I want to care about the numbers, but I don’t. I can’t. It’s too soul sucking.
    I do love you though!
    Alison recently posted..A Bunch Of ThingsMy Profile

  • Reply
    Kimberly
    March 4, 2015 at 5:52 am

    The bitch grew a Hitler mustache?
    Now that is talent.
    I. Am. Crying.
    You are spot on with social media. As much as I’d like to say that I don’t pay attention to numbers, I do. I was invited to join a group of bloggers who did just that. I started to learn about SEO which is a fucking nightmare – and became obsessed with it. I compared numbers and blah blah and it was depressing. That’s not why I got into blogging. It wasn’t about being popular. It was about therapy andn helping people. So I stepped out of the group.
    Thing is, I still get hung up time to time when I put something out there and there aren’t comments. It’s hard to ignore sometimes. But you’re absolutely right, authentic versus fake – and people read…they do and never comment…and it’s for me….therapy…it’s good for me! xoxoxox
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    injaynesworld
    March 4, 2015 at 10:01 am

    Nothing smells quite so bad as the stench of desperation. Yes, I see those types on social media and I cannot recoil fast enough. Social media is fun and I’ve met a lot of wonderful people through it, friends I treasure, support and learn from, friends just as important to me as those IRL. But it’s the quality of those people that attract me, not the quantity. You are someone I met through blogging, that I know I’d be great friends with IRL. I like you. I really, really like you. 🙂
    injaynesworld recently posted..injaynesworld “Technology Marches On…”My Profile

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    Renee Johnson
    March 4, 2015 at 3:55 pm

    I like you, and I think you are gorgeous!! So there. Take that! LOL! I’ll also pick you for my team, and you know what, we have sort of picked each other, haven’t we? As members of each others’ blog tribes, we have made the statement that we admire each others’ work. That’s pretty fabulous!
    Renee Johnson recently posted..Good News!My Profile

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    Mandy
    March 5, 2015 at 2:49 am

    See, I get this whole post because I too wan’t one of the popular ones, I was very much a loner, still am.
    I would rather have one like and have it be meaningful than 100.
    Love, love, love to you my darling Kim.
    Can’t stop thinking about those cupcakes I want to bake and enjoy with you.
    🙂 Mandy xoxoxoxo
    Mandy recently posted..In My Kitchen – March 2015My Profile

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    hilary
    March 5, 2015 at 4:53 am

    I love this post.. it is so true. I was the last kid picked for sports at school. I hated that feeling.. Growing up and leaving it all behind was a great feeling. I do love to see how HS people grew up… especially the mean girls. I find social media fun, but I know it’s not real life… Sadly so many people get caught up in it and it is like a hs continuation…
    hilary recently posted..Where’s The LUCY????My Profile

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    countingducks
    March 5, 2015 at 5:38 am

    Now you can see you really are a popular girl, and rightly so, and all the comments you get prove it
    countingducks recently posted..A Career Worthy Of Note At “Flatters” Nightclub.My Profile

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    Liz
    March 5, 2015 at 7:48 am

    Besides a time waster, SM is full of those who are sucking up to “bigger” names. I like to find the posts that don’t have comments or likes and like those. I’d get so much housekeeping done if FB went down for a day (or week!). Thanks for the thought provoking post 🙂

  • Reply
    Rita @ The Crafty Expat
    March 5, 2015 at 6:13 pm

    When I started blogging Kim, yes, it was all about numbers. How can I get more likers on my page, how can I get more followers.
    But now, I realised that it doesn’t matter. Blogging is not a business for me. I just want to write and now, after almost three years of blogging, I know that I have people who genuinely follow my blog because they love it and love my writing. And, at the end of the day, this is what’s important for me the relation I develop with these readers.
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    LePorkstar
    March 5, 2015 at 7:58 pm

    I think initially, when we started with all this social media crap, it felt important and somehow, made you feel important or interesting. But since social media can be so shallow and full of fakery and empty recognitions, you get used to it and then you don’t give a fuck anymore. At least that’s my case.
    LePorkstar recently posted..Shoes off: yay or nayMy Profile

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    Debbie D.
    March 6, 2015 at 8:38 pm

    Hi Kim; I’ve always lived in my own little world and done my own thing. If people like it, that’s great. If they don’t, I figure it’s their loss, right? 😉 My popularity in high school was non-existent., but I didn’t care. LOL That said, it’s always a thrill when a blog post gets significant attention, because a lot of love and work goes into it.
    Social media can be fun or it can be an albatross, depending on the day and the time constraints, but it sure doesn’t define me.
    Debbie D. recently posted..CITY – PHOTO FRIDAYMy Profile

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