Kim's Blogs

Saint Elmo’s Fire, Wild, & Marriage

( This is an absolutely true story.  I should know,  I’m the one telling it. )

“How wild it was, to let it be.” Cheryl Strayed,  Wild


Wine w/ Mr. Liverpool after WILD.

Wine w/ Mr. Liverpool after WILD.

~First Year of Marriage:   Your adorable British husband agrees to take you to the film,  St. Elmo’s Fire.


Of course, he’d do anything with you because, well,  he’s madly in love with the very core of you,  the scent of your Aqua Net hairspray, the cherry-red lipstick, the idiosyncrasies,  the beautiful imperfections,  the sassiness, the shit.


The ticket line is chalk a block, but it doesn’t matter because you cling to one another’s words like poetry, like the best fucking meal you’ve ever had,  like pure oxygen,  like prayer.  You laugh and grope and steal kisses.


You share popcorn with extra butter.   He hates butter,  but he eats it anyway.  You split a jumbo diet coke.  He only drinks real  coke, but he sips it anyway.  He holds your hand.


You weep into his shirt because Jules (Demi Moore)  has locked herself in her apartment and opens all of the windows to kill herself by freezing to death.  You weep because the friends stop going to Saint Elmo’s Bar.  You weep because Rob Lowe is an asshole.


He holds you,  rubs your shoulder, & whispers,  “It’s going to be okay, Kim.”


It was always okay with him.


You notice a small tear sliding down his unshaven face and wonder if he’s sad about Jules, too.


Your heart blossoms into multi colored wild flowers and suns.



~25 Years of Marriage:     Your still adorable husband agrees, with much hesitation,  to take you to the film,  Wild.


He will still do anything for you,  but some of your little imperfections have now become irritations.  For example,  he doesn’t let you kiss him when you have on your cherry- red lipstick.  “I’m on my way to work.  Kiss me later,  Kim.”


He despises Lifetime movies.  Says they bash men.  He’s annoyed when you leave Milky Way wrappers on the floor.   He would rather watch soccer than the Golden Globes & The Academy Awards.


Anyhow,  you say,  “Wild is amaaaaaaaazing.  It’s about this woman who hikes 1,100 miles on the Pacific Crest Trail.  Can you imagine? But it’s more than that. Much more.  She lost her mother to cancer, so she’s mourning and grieving.   Needs to find herself.  Needs to find purpose. Needs to find love.  And she was on heroin and screwing lots of men named Killer and Doobie.  She needs to reflect. She meets all these cool hippie people along the way who teach her stuff about life and…”


You know him well.  You know every unsaid thought.  You know he’s rolling his eyes inside his head.  You know he’s pondering,  ‘another bloody chick flick.’


“What do you think,” you ask.


“Well,  is that the only film playing at the theaters?”


You hear the sarcasm inside his British, Liverpudlian accent.  You hear something else.


“Yep,”  you respond abruptly.   “It’s the only one.”


“I guess.”  He does not say this excitedly.


The ticket line is so long, you wonder if there’s time to get popcorn.   You must have popcorn.  Buttered and salted.  You must have a jumbo diet coke.   He gets Milk Duds and a real coke.


When you get to the ticket girl,  he looks at you.


“Whaaaat?”  You ask.


“I see The Gambler with Mark Walberg is playing at 2:00, too.”




“Well,  do you mind if I go to that instead?  It ends the same time.”


You pause.  “Sure.”


“We can go for wine afterwards.”


You smile at one another.


He walks one way.   You walk the other.


You know that’s a metaphor for something or another.


You know you’ll need to write the words down when you get home


You also know,  you’ll always be going home together


Click Here to Watch a Clip of  Saint Elmo’s Fire


—–Darlings,  have you been married for a long time?  Are you a newlywed?   Tell me something about it!!

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  • Reply
    lisa thomson-the great escape
    January 10, 2015 at 12:48 pm

    Aw, Kim I was laughing reading this post <3 Believe it or not my Beau took me to Wild the other night. As i wept throughout the film, he sat stock still. I sniffled and used the back of my hand to wipe away the leaking from my right eye. I would look out the corner of said weepy eye to see if he noticed my ridiculous lack of control. No, don't think so. I noticed he checked the time once. I noticed he didn't laugh at the same parts as me. When it was over, he sat stock still. I wondered if he liked it after all. He is the quiet type. Silent but never wavering. Usually I like that but when i make him take me to a 'chick' movie I want him to show me something. Show me that he survived it. ANYTHING 🙂 He said finally, that was good. Then we got up and left…we went for some wine, too.
    lisa thomson-the great escape recently posted..5 Tips For Handling The Divorce BullyMy Profile

  • Reply
    Elephant's Child
    January 10, 2015 at 1:14 pm

    The going home together (despite the teeny imperfections) is magic. KNOWING that you will be going home together, this year and next is the very best kind of safety net.
    And yes, I smiled. A lot.
    Elephant’s Child recently posted..Sunday Selections #206My Profile

  • Reply
    January 10, 2015 at 1:32 pm

    Dear Kim, I so enjoyed this post of yours – I always so enjoy my visits here – a very welcome change of pace (as I call it) – love your writing. Love your choice of words. And love this post. My darling husband and I met when we were 15(!) years old – we both took ballroom dance classes (quite common around these parts) and although we lost touch for a while, we got back together many years later and married…I think we should go to the movie theater this weekend…
    Feel yourself hugged,

  • Reply
    Barbara Hammond
    January 10, 2015 at 1:34 pm

    After 45 and a half years, (6 of wedded bliss), we know each other too well. If I want to see a movie I know he’ll loathe, and vice/ versa, we simply make separate plans. Not to mention, now that we are *retired*, sort of, we have waaay too much time together as it is.
    However we almost always share a bottle of wine in the evening, and maybe another with dinner.
    Life is good!
    Barbara Hammond recently posted..Celebrating a Great Year and Looking Forward!My Profile

  • Reply
    January 10, 2015 at 1:54 pm

    At least you got him to the theater with the intent to go to Wild—I dragged the hubby to a movie he despised about 5 years ago and he will now only see James Bond or sure fire action films. But he does do my dishes–almost 29 years here. How things have changed—but no complaints 🙂

  • Reply
    January 10, 2015 at 2:27 pm

    Holy jumpin’ Liverpudlians! You responded so well. Your kind of attitude will certainly assure you of going home with that man many, many more years!

    I took the Queen’s Code – a FABULOUS course – over the ‘Net. Allison, the founder, is bang on – we spend too much effort wanting our men to be hairy women in certain situations that thrust hot blood through our veins. In your story, it was like you said to your husband, “I respect who you are and I love you for having the balls to honestly ask for what you want. Go and enjoy – ’cause I’m going to do the same.”

    Acceptance is so full of love and respect.

    Bravo, Kim!
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  • Reply
    January 10, 2015 at 2:31 pm

    There’s comfort in security. No more pretending.
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  • Reply
    Susan boswell
    January 10, 2015 at 2:48 pm

    I like the way you formatted the comparisons on this Kimmy… And oh yes, 31,years. I appreciate the honesty – it always rings through from you. I think my hubby understands me less and less. He hates that I like to advdnture without him… He’s even staring an antiblog to my blog… Lol but like you say, I’ve no doubt no matter which different ways we go, we’ll be going home together at the end of the day. That means a LOT!!!
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      January 11, 2015 at 8:00 am

      Mr. L. said something about my blog once and I deleted him from the subscription!!!
      But he still reads it. He is probably reading this right now. xxxxxx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..Saint Elmo’s Fire, Wild, & MarriageMy Profile

  • Reply
    Balroop Singh
    January 10, 2015 at 3:12 pm

    Hi Kim,

    What an awesome story, so honestly told! Loved it.
    When I was quite young and heard about men changing with the passage of time or not showing the same affection, I would tell myself…we would be as loving as ever, we would be different from all those couples who tend to drift apart but that enthusiasm of youth withers away, don’t know how despite all the wishes and efforts!

    Movies together? NEVER! Home theatre forever for him! But he is ever ready for an exotic vacation! Life is good if we keep accepting the changes.
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  • Reply
    Totally Caroline
    January 10, 2015 at 3:30 pm

    Reading this brings me so many feelings. Right now I feel a little teary because I remember how it felt to be so deliriously in love and being loved back in that way too. God I miss it. How i would have wished it would have matured into something like what you and your husband had. Its ok if things mellowed out, thats what happens when all those crazy endorphins wean and you just become real people again. Its totally ok to have different interests and enjoy different movies. There is only one thing that matters Kim: that guy has your back. God bless you.
    p.s. i really want to see wild. i saw the trailer

  • Reply
    January 10, 2015 at 5:27 pm

    Love this line, “Of course, he’d do anything with you because, well, he’s madly in love with the very core of you, the scent of your Aqua Net hairspray, the cherry-red lipstick, the idiosyncrasies, the beautiful imperfections, the sassiness, the shit.” Don’t worry, Kimmy, he’ll still do anything with you when he knows it really matters to you. He kind of knew you could handle going to Wild by yourself. xx
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  • Reply
    Anna @ shenANNAgans
    January 10, 2015 at 5:50 pm

    Nawh… I want this, I’ve never had this. I long for this, gawd I hope this is a feeling I get to have….. Remind me to tell the story when it does, if it does. Lovely post, and how wonderful to always know you will always have someone by your side when you go home. Beautiful! 🙂
    Have a happy weekend sweet lady! Hugs and loves. xox
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  • Reply
    January 10, 2015 at 5:53 pm

    This is WONDERFUL, Kim!

    I so enjoyed reading it. He sounds like a real sweetheart, and I KNOW that you are! xoxoxo

  • Reply
    Carrie Rubin
    January 10, 2015 at 6:15 pm

    I’ve been married for over two decades, but my hubs gets off easy when it comes to movies since I love action movies. Last night, we watched The Equalizer with Denzel Washington, and today we saw Taken 3 with Liam Neeson. But we each get our own popcorn. 🙂
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  • Reply
    January 10, 2015 at 6:57 pm

    Absolutely precious post, Kim. You had me grinning all the way through. Can you believe my husband has read WILD but I haven’t? I’m waiting for him to invite me to the film.
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  • Reply
    Chris Carter
    January 10, 2015 at 9:16 pm

    Ah…. this is just so perfect Kim!! That’s what 25 years of marriage brings… independence with the bounds of dependence. I love every bit of this… I think it reflects the love and stretch of a lifetime of marriage so beautifully. 🙂 I am DYING to see wild. And St Elmo’s Fire was one of my faves. Now I want to watch it again…
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  • Reply
    Jennifer Wolfe
    January 10, 2015 at 9:16 pm

    Twenty years married , 29 together. I can’t remember the last movie we went to in a theater, but we still like most of the same things. And when we don’t, he’s for my teenage son to entertain him.
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  • Reply
    nan @ lbddiaries
    January 11, 2015 at 12:54 am

    There is NOTHING to do in this area unless you want to drive for an hour or so, so date night is almost always going to some movie we’ve both wanted to see. We save the rest of them for Pay-4-View and our comfy living room.

    I love action adventure (he does too) – hey, what’s not to love? Buff guys or big heros like Bruce Willis’ Die Hard, The Expendables with older heros, Jason Statham in anything… He loves some creepy movies (I read a book, cover my ears during screams, and keep reading) – he likes sci-fi (I do the same thing as with the scarey movie), I love old black and whites (he suffers through them then agrees they were awesome movies – but he forgets that until the next time he has to watch another B&W!). He loves westerns and I love Clint Eastwood so that works… sort of!

    One thing we both agree on – I’m his best friend, he’s my best friend and we have more fun together than with any other person. Ewww, isn’t that gaggy?
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      January 11, 2015 at 7:51 am

      Nooooooooooooo! Not gaggy.
      I love Jason Statham, too, and Clint RoCKS, and I love Bruce Willis.
      I guess I am more well rounded than Mr. L!!!
      We are all going to THE American Sniper together.
      How are you, dear? xxx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..Saint Elmo’s Fire, Wild, & MarriageMy Profile

      • Reply
        nan @ lbddiaries
        January 13, 2015 at 3:21 pm

        I kinda, sorta wanna see The American Sniper. It looks amazing and yet not. I had a friend who was one in Vietnam and it messed him up royally and he was only in early 20’s when he got out, screwed up. So I’m not sure I can. Love you!
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  • Reply
    January 11, 2015 at 5:38 am

    I loved the book Wild. Glad to hear the film is good too.

    Glad your story still has its happy ending even if you now go and watch different movies.
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  • Reply
    January 11, 2015 at 6:18 am

    I loved Wild and saw it with my son. My husband was working. I cried when she reached the bridge at the end and my son couldn’t understand why…maybe because he is 15! My husband went to see it another time because I had raved about it and he is an avid moviegoer. He said it was just ok….typical.. He’ll go with me to see just about any movie but it all stops at certain TV shows. He’ll watch some but some he just won’t watch. He is wearing the hell out of Netflix…that’s his thing.
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      January 11, 2015 at 7:49 am

      When she reached the bridge, I cried, too. One must cry. It had so many meanings.
      I also cried when she stood screaming in the mountains. The story really resonated w/ me!
      Mr. L. would have said “Just Okay,” too. I am quite sure of that. xxxx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..Saint Elmo’s Fire, Wild, & MarriageMy Profile

  • Reply
    January 11, 2015 at 6:29 am

    I loved the book. Intended to go see the movie (while husband is out of town) last weekend and forgot. Maybe today is the day. He’d go with me, but he wouldn’t enjoy it. Told him I was going to go see it while he was out of town and we’d go see the Steven Hawkings movie together when he got home. Works for us. Glad you’re always going to go home with him. Us too. 25 years for us next Sept.

  • Reply
    Jodi @ Heal Now and Forever
    January 11, 2015 at 6:52 am

    You two are sooooo cute! <3 Love you both!
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  • Reply
    Ellen M. Gregg
    January 11, 2015 at 7:57 am

    I was obsessed with St. Elmo’s Fire when it first came out. Rob Lowe… Oooohhhh, Rob Lowe. *sigh* I still love the theme song by Kenny Loggins.
    Wild is on my list to see in the next couple of weeks, Kim. I hope it met your expectations, even if Mr. Liverpool didn’t.
    I love-love-love going to the movies. It’s the only time I drink soda: a small root beer. I don’t get popcorn. I stuff my own snack (which, on occasion, has been an actual meal) in my purse. For example, when I saw Into the Woods on Boxing Day, I had salt-and-pepper rice crisps with me. (And I didn’t get root beer; I brought coconut water in with me.) There was a mighty-fine glass of cabernet sauvignon after ITW, though. 🙂
    I’m winding up for a movie-viewing day, much like I did around this time last year. I’ll spend the bulk of the day at the theater watching the movies on my must-see list, thanks to a gift card I received for Christmas. (Santa knows me well.) I might be alone, or I might be with a friend. Either way, it’ll be awesome. xoxo
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  • Reply
    Angie@Angie's Recipes
    January 11, 2015 at 8:57 am

    He’s madly in love with the very core of you..the beautiful imperfections, the sassiness, the shit. I just totally love this. This is a sweet love story, Kim.
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  • Reply
    Fancy Ranci
    January 11, 2015 at 9:13 am

    I loved this because I could so relate! We have been married for 26 years. Week before last I endured The Gambler (not a bad film, just not my thing) with my man. He offered up three movie choices. This one seemed like the only one I might have any interest in. We didn’t get popcorn because I told him not to blow his diet! It was our first movie together in a while. Even though I didn’t enjoy the movie, I enjoyed the outing together. Afterward we went to dinner and met our 16 year old and her boyfriend. Wow things have really changed in 26 years. Looking forward to the next 26!

  • Reply
    January 11, 2015 at 10:12 am

    Kim, this is just as sweet and soul-bearingly honest as it could be! I love the contrast, don’t you, in how long-married people eventually become their “real selves,” while young marrieds are still on their best behavior, trying to please.

    Love — real love — has a way of encouraging folks to show their vulnerabilities with one another. Perhaps that’s why so many marriages fail, the fear of being that open (and of having one’s heart stomped on).
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  • Reply
    January 11, 2015 at 11:12 pm

    Aww, what a sweet relationship you two have. I love it, and I love the way you write about it. He’s quite a honey and you’re both lucky to have each other. Totally smitten. That’s what you are!
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  • Reply
    January 12, 2015 at 2:01 am

    All 3 of my marriages don’t add up to 25 years.
    It sounds like you had a wonderful night. I wish you another 25 years of loving each other. That is awesome.
    Hugs xxxooo
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  • Reply
    Choc Chip Uru
    January 12, 2015 at 2:25 am

    I haven’t seen Wild but I am dying to! You and your awesome man sound like a relationship from a book, hopefully I can find someone like that 🙂
    You give me hope as always!

    Choc Chip Uru
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  • Reply
    Lorraine @ Not Quite Nigella
    January 12, 2015 at 2:31 am

    I think this is now my favourite post of your Kim. So well written and I can practically see the two of you in front of me at the movie theatre. It’s recounting moments like this that make you so real. xxx
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  • Reply
    January 12, 2015 at 5:34 am

    I had to laugh at the butter and pop because I made Shawn bring in a stray cat that his parents were feeding during the winter and he was DEATHLY allergic to it. He did it anyways. His face ballooned and he could hardly breathe. I had no idea but he did it for me…and the f*cking cat as he calls it now…LOL.
    The things they did back then.

    you two are made for each other xoxoxo
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  • Reply
    January 12, 2015 at 10:17 am

    Oh…just LOVE this post!! My hubs wouldn’t go to this movie in one hundred light or dark years with me. I just went with my best girlfriends yesterday…brunch first with pomegranate mimosas, followed by popcorn at the theater, then more drinks after. Perfect day for me and my husband. He stayed home and watched football all day. We were both in heaven!

    Love you sweets! xo
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  • Reply
    Deborah Batterman
    January 12, 2015 at 10:42 am

    I celebrated 30 years of marriage in November . . . and I did get him to the city for a low=key dinner in SoHo, where we also picked up those coveted Cronuts ordered by my daughter two weeks earlier. Oh, yes, we did see ‘Wild’ on New Year’s Eve . . .and I do not like buttered popcorn (though he does, and mostly accommodates me). You so wonderfully captured the details that change over the years, if not the love.
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  • Reply
    Britton Swingler
    January 12, 2015 at 12:47 pm

    I’m reading WILD now, then will see it. And…I haven’t read all the comments here because I don’t want any spoilers to come my way….SO, this may have already been said but, um, did you forget to tell him that Reese gets naked? Would he have joined you then?
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  • Reply
    Allie Smith
    January 12, 2015 at 2:01 pm

    My husband would have done the SAME thing! And we would have met for wine afterwards. I can’t wait to see Wild. How was it?

  • Reply
    January 12, 2015 at 4:49 pm

    “You know you’ll always be going home together”. That my dear says it all!
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  • Reply
    Hotly Spiced
    January 13, 2015 at 2:03 pm

    That’s a hilarious story. I can’t believe you went on a date but spent it in different theatres! I do hope you were both in the same bar when you had that wine! xx
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  • Reply
    January 14, 2015 at 4:53 am

    Oh no, my comment went AWOL!
    I was saying how you and I and our hubby’s would definitely be the best of friends. So many wonderful similarities.
    Love, hugs and kisses to you my dear Kim.
    🙂 Mandy xoxoxo
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  • Reply
    Aussa Lorens
    January 14, 2015 at 5:59 am

    Hahaha that was fantastic, Kim. Hilarious. I felt like I was seeing my own future…
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  • Reply
    January 14, 2015 at 7:01 am

    Let’s say it clearly Kim, that’s fantastic, you two are fantastic! You make me want to be in love again and be loved in return, obviously, for real this time!
    Lots and lots of love.
    *your card is smiling back at me every single day…” THANK YOU
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  • Reply
    January 14, 2015 at 8:11 am

    ha ha ha. I’ve met Mr Liverpool and he is a very decent and patient man so if the film was too much for him to take, you can only excuse him. Hopefully you both enjoyed your films, and could discuss them over a decent quantity of wine after the show(s)
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  • Reply
    Amy Tong
    January 14, 2015 at 12:08 pm

    LOL…I’m only 10 years into my marriage…but I can totally see what’s coming when it hits 25, or sooner! Thanks for the heads up. 😉
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  • Reply
    January 14, 2015 at 3:53 pm

    Oh my goodness! I love hearing about you & Mr Liverpool. It’s exactly as I remember the earlier days waaaay back, when my sweetie & I started dating. Going to the movies was a date, (as opposed to just seeing a movie.) The trips to the supermarket when we first lived together, (we were so excited!) lol, 8 years on it’s just the pattern of regular life, but as soon to be parents I know that’s all going to change again! Thank you for sharing your story and reminding us to cherish those earlier memories of love xo
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  • Reply
    January 15, 2015 at 12:25 am

    Two words:
    True Love.
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  • Reply
    January 15, 2015 at 12:26 am

    Whoa, I’m way late here this week, but life has been crazy. I got a good chuckle when you went your separate ways. Hubby had no qualms about going to see Wild with me, he even read the book. It’s probably because we both like hiking and whatnot. I do draw the lines at video games and the war board games he likes to play. I just can’t get into those.
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  • Reply
    Charlene Ross
    January 15, 2015 at 1:15 pm

    Oh Kim. I love this. So much! I’ve been married 21 years this March, so I know exactly what you’re talking about. (Mine also would do (almost) anything for me when I’m not irritating the shit out of him.) 🙂

    And yes, you’ll always go home together. (And so will we.)

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  • Reply
    January 16, 2015 at 6:18 am

    I love this post.. I love how over time everyone can be more themselves and still be so happy together (and probably more so)
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  • Reply
    Kristi Campbell
    January 16, 2015 at 9:27 pm

    OMG so so so totally relate to this!! I’ve been married only 8 years and we have a five year old (and we’re old, me 46 him 51 so maybe it’s like we’ve been married for much longer) but yeah… I remember when he watched anything with me. Also??? I so want to see Wild!!!
    xo much love.
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  • Reply
    Debbie D.
    January 17, 2015 at 10:34 am

    This really made me laugh, Kim! 😀 Mr, Liverpool sounds like a charmer, nonetheless, and going home together (♥) is the main thing. Hubby (who also has an accent – Italian) and I will be celebrating 42 years of marriage this August (together for 44 years, come October). He would refuse to go to a movie he had no interest in, as would I, but there are enough movies we both like, so we often compromise. Have a good weekend!
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  • Reply
    Barbara @ Barbara Bakes
    January 20, 2015 at 8:03 pm

    I’ve been married 36 years and you could have almost been describing us. I did drag my husband to Selma last night. I think he enjoyed it in the end.
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  • Reply
    January 21, 2015 at 7:35 pm

    I’ve never been married, but then maybe you got the last good one. 😉
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