1. Because last time you signed in, she IM’s you instantly from work telling you to get your ass outside to mow the lawn
2. Because she asks infuriatingly why your friend, Dane, addresses you with–“Waz up, Bitch?”
3. Because she pokes you with red hearts and hugs and X’s & O’s –ahhhhhhhhh
4. Because it’s utterly embarrassing when her status screams, “Cougars Rock The Universe!”
5. Because she’s still good friends with your old girlfriends and you’re NOT ( I’m
not sorry, I really miss them! )
6. Because after
stalking gazing over your home page, she asks you what the HELL a Bong is
7. Because she continues suggesting friends for you who are over 40… including the pastor, the pinky-purple haired lady who cuts your hair , & Aunt Trudy
8. Because after
creeping looking on your photo albums, she makes an embarrassing comment like, “Ohhhhhh, darling photo of you and Jeffry at the Homecoming Game. Remember when you boys used to hold hands in Pre-School?
9. Because she dresses your poor cat, Bizzy, up like Lady Gaga & Madonna and tags you every. single. time.
10. Because she “LIKES” every thing you post no matter what it is, including the sporting events you attend… asking questions like, “Is that soccer or football, Hon?”
11. Because when you ignore her, she messages your friends to have you come home for dinner
12. Because her profile snapshot is a photo of you sitting on her lap in a diaper
13. Because she will put this blog post on your homepage without hesitation ( Yeeeeeah, Baaaby )
–Darling, Readers, are you friends with your kids on facebook? If not, what are your thoughts about this?
–NOTES– I am loooooving this fabulous book of short essays about breaking up with your girlfriends: My Other Ex
Will You Please “Like” My Inner Chick on FACEBOOK