In Memory of Kay Kim's Blogs

She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave


 

Kay's Journal dated a few weeks before her murder.

Kay’s Journal dated a few weeks before her murder.

Dear, Aaron Moon,

 

I have no idea who you are, but we need to talk.

 

You left a comment on my blog post, 13 Reasons She Stayed,  which initially infuriated me,  made me see the deepest red.

 

I examined every syllable slowly, deliberately,  disbelievingly.

 

And each one felt like a punch to the stomach.

 

This is why she stayed: He had money.  He had a rent free place for her to live.  He had a job. She was too lazy to work or leave.  He has a car she could use.  She had no bills to pay.”

 

I admit, the first instant after reading those words, those razor sharp words, I felt disgust flow thru my blood stream, loathing fill my lungs.  I wanted to wrap my hands around your neck and choke you,  choke you, fucking choke you.  I wanted to hire Isis to cut your  head off.  I wanted to fire off responses like… “Asshole.  Idiot.  I bet you beat your wife, kids, and even kick the dog.  Son-of-a-bitch.  Bastard.”

 

This is what I wanted to say.

 

But I didn’t. How could I?  How could I lower myself in such a way?

 

Instead, I ceased the moment as teachable, instructive.

 

Ignorance breeds ignorance. Hatred breeds hatred.  Foolishness breeds foolishness.

 

I’m going to enlighten you.

 

My sister stayed because she had three babies to raise. HIS babies,  which he didn’t give a shit about.

 

I remember Jordan, the youngest,  would sprint to him as he walked through the door,  hug him around the legs tightly,  kiss his jeans.  He did this every. single. day… but my sister’s killer never responded.  He merely stood there stiff, cold, and without heart.

 

After that, Jordan stopped running to him.

 

Yeah, that’s kind of what the marriage was like,  too.

 

Emotionless.     Sunless.     Moonless.

 

She stayed because she thought he’d become a father to his children, a husband to his wife, a man she could look up to with admiration.

 

She stayed because she believed wholeheartedly that one day he’d respect her, value her,  listen to her, love her, be amazed by her uniqueness.

 

She stayed, mostly, because she thought he’d change.

 

He.     Never.    Changed.

 

Instead…

He.    Became.  A.   Murderer.

 

So, Aaron Moon,  stick this letter in your pocket, tuck it inside your brain,  allow the words to roll around inside your psyche.

 

And when you decide to judge a woman, which you will, for being too lazy to leave,  take it out and remember her blood,  her last breath,  her crying, her hope, her sacrifice…

 

Then look in the mirror and ask what it is about ‘Yourself” that would cause you to take your precious time to write something so utterly appalling to a person you don’t know.

 

Signed,

 

Kay’s Sister, whom is honored to be her voice

 

——-Darling, Readers, any insight or enlightenment for the individuals reading this letter who need to be educated?

If you are being abused in ANY way whatsoever,  call the Domestic Abuse Hotline Now:  1-800-799-7233  … remember you are loved, valued, & cherished.

 


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145 Comments

  • Reply
    Trish
    October 5, 2014 at 9:12 am

    I had no comment for him. My comment is only for you: This is why you must keep writing. Thinking of you.

  • Reply
    AbbyB
    October 5, 2014 at 9:34 am

    I hope this writing of this post was somehow healing to you. I know people tell you this all the time, but Kay would be proud. xo

  • Reply
    Tia
    October 5, 2014 at 11:16 am

    POWERFUL!

  • Reply
    Bren Lee
    October 5, 2014 at 11:46 am

    Pure ignorance on his part Kim. That seems like the typical answer for an “abuser”, although I shouldn’t judge him. I’m glad there are women like you that are being the VOICE for the victims. Much love my friend. xoxo
    Bren Lee recently posted..Do You Worry About Side Effects of Prescription Drugs?My Profile

  • Reply
    Elephant's Child
    October 5, 2014 at 12:32 pm

    You are much more of an adult that I am. I think I would have wallowed in my rage.
    She stayed, as so many stay,for a lot of reasons. Hope. Love. Fear. And laziness and materialism don’t come into them.
    Elephant’s Child recently posted..TomorrowMy Profile

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      October 6, 2014 at 4:48 am

      Dear, S,
      at first, I felt physically sick. I called my mom and girlfriend to get out the cuss words. Then I thought, this is a teaching moment, a God moment. Luv flowing to you, sweetheart. xx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To LeaveMy Profile

  • Reply
    Amy@SoulDipper
    October 5, 2014 at 1:07 pm

    Yep, that type of thinking is the epitome of the man who will NOT change. It’s too risky. He’d have to find ways to be a man other than thinking he’s superior to women.

    Why do I beleive his next 100 incarnations will be as a woman?
    Amy@SoulDipper recently posted..A Saree for my HeartMy Profile

  • Reply
    totsymae1011
    October 5, 2014 at 1:42 pm

    Oooh, that comment was a punch to the gut. Perhaps worse. I’d like to say he was trying to get a rise outta you but unfortunately, there are folk who feel that way. Regardless, just ’cause one feels something, doesn’t mean they have to express it.

    Be well and blessed and keep doing the good work that makes us all more informed.
    totsymae1011 recently posted..Heiress to The 1st AmendmentMy Profile

  • Reply
    Beverly Diehl
    October 5, 2014 at 1:44 pm

    Beautiful, poignant, wonderful.

    Will it reach this troll, in any deep, emotional way? I doubt it. But maybe this will reach a brother, a son, a co-worker, a neighbor, who’s looked at a women in a similar situation and not “got” the many complicated reasons she did not leave. And maybe that person will help another woman, or man, who’s being verbally or emotionally abused, before it is too late.

    Love and hugs
    Beverly Diehl recently posted..Because KittensMy Profile

  • Reply
    Mike
    October 5, 2014 at 1:51 pm

    Kim, I’m so very sorry such a terrible comment was left by that person. I know that sometimes people are just trolling to get a reaction as demented as that is. They are not worthy of a reaction…just my opinion. You have courage and bravery being reproach as you’ve continued to move on in this life without Kay. You are surrounded by love from those that truly matter and she looks over you always. Many hugs to you 🙂
    Mike recently posted..A Friend Is Missed Around The WorldMy Profile

  • Reply
    Chris Carter
    October 5, 2014 at 2:05 pm

    May I add ? Kay stayed because she had FAITHfully sacrificed her own needs, and her own gutted heart to hope for, encourage and ultimately pray for this husband of hers to be redeemed and transformed into a man of honor that transcends her undying hope for love – Love for his wife and children. That Kay’s strength and integrity was stronger than her murderer, and that is why he killed her? That BECAUSE of her faith and strength and relentless hope, she endured this horrific life- because she believed in the power of a miracle?

    The man who responded with that comment does not know what honor, faith, integrity, hope, sacrifice, strength and love look like. I pity him actually. And I pray that he lives alone, and no woman is ever captive of his mentality.
    Chris Carter recently posted..Thankfuls From Prague!My Profile

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      October 6, 2014 at 2:41 pm

      Chris,
      you would have loved Kay. You are absolutely right…She prayed for Mike all the time. We all did. She thought God would transform him. How did you know this? He said he changed, read the bible, went to church…but he was lying.
      Love you from here. xx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To LeaveMy Profile

  • Reply
    Monica
    October 5, 2014 at 2:19 pm

    It takes all kinds, Kim. Unfortunately this is true. Don’t give him your power. You are doing a wonderful thing giving voice to Kay and to all who are victims of domestic violence. We know the truth. He’s the one with the problem. Keep it up. Delete him and forget his dumb words.
    Monica recently posted..My Birthday Week–Fun, Frivolity, Madness & Sir PaulMy Profile

  • Reply
    lisa
    October 5, 2014 at 2:41 pm

    I honestly feel very sorry for this person, Kim.
    So ignorant, it is to be pitied.

    Hugs to you, sweet friend. xo.

  • Reply
    Lisa thomson
    October 5, 2014 at 2:56 pm

    Perfect, Kim! My first thought when I heard about this troll was he is bitter and miserable . He found his way here because he needs enlightenment badly. Beautifuy expressed Kim. I would have said “F**k you” & then be at his level. Hugs! xo
    Lisa thomson recently posted..50 Things I’ve LearnedMy Profile

  • Reply
    Hotly Spiced
    October 5, 2014 at 3:26 pm

    I’m totally shocked, Kim. I can’t believe anyone could write such a heartless and ‘know-it-all’ comment on your blog. What a lot of cruelty he has. You’ve written a fabulous response and I’m glad you didn’t let him get away with having the last word. His comment shows such a lack of comprehension and understanding of domestic violence xx
    Hotly Spiced recently posted..Reef Beach, SydneyMy Profile

  • Reply
    Joan Peterson
    October 5, 2014 at 3:38 pm

    Thank you Kim for challenging this ignorant and clueless commenter. Your post is exactly right. How can someone look at a domestic shooting and blame it on the victim? Disgusting and inexcusable. But it is the reason domestic violence continues. We need to break the cycle and educate people. And you are the person to do that. Keep it up. I love you.
    Joan Peterson recently posted..While I was away; “reflections” of different culturesMy Profile

  • Reply
    Balroop Singh
    October 5, 2014 at 3:39 pm

    Hi Kim,

    While we try to understand such insensitive persons who left this comment, lets not forget they are all around us, in various forms, wearing the masks of kindness, displaying a heart full of love, trying to trap innocent, naive girls who believe this world is full of good people!
    Lets not forget there are many more who are beating, torturing and killing!
    Lets not forget they can never change their sick thinking.
    Lets not forget we have to create more awareness to recognise such monsters who roam around us in human form.
    This person deserves all those words you used and much more.
    Balroop Singh recently posted..Living AgainMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      October 6, 2014 at 2:50 pm

      Balroop,
      excellent words of wisdom. We need to educate, share our experience.
      I mean, what other reason are we here? xxx

  • Reply
    debbie
    October 5, 2014 at 4:07 pm

    You are doing exactly what you need to be doing Kim and just keep on doing it. My opinion is that the person who wrote this was not just clueless and ignorant but angry. Big time angry….
    debbie recently posted..Old Fashioned Pound CakeMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      October 6, 2014 at 2:51 pm

      Debbie,
      yes…It’s much more about HIM than ME. I do know this. We need to Utilize our voices to CHANGE the world! Right? xx

  • Reply
    Barbara
    October 5, 2014 at 4:47 pm

    We are, usually, told to ignore the trolls. Don’t give them any ‘power’. I totally understand your need to address this idiot. I do. I’m, thinking he either grew up with an abusive father, or in some way, has lived in a violent environment. These males are put in a difficult position, whether to admit they know it’s wrong or become the abuser. The abuser seems to have the power, in their mind. This is how the cycle continues. It’s a horrible, horrible legacy.
    Thank you for speaking up and telling him the truth. I hope he can see the futility of his position.
    xoxob
    Barbara recently posted..The Cape May Adventure Continues…My Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      October 6, 2014 at 2:52 pm

      Barbara,
      HE HAS NO POWER. I have taken it away and posted a blog w/ his own vile words.

      Love all of your support and VOICE, Sweets. xxx

  • Reply
    Kathy McCullough
    October 5, 2014 at 5:09 pm

    God, what an asshole! Thank you SO much for writing this–and for speaking, not only your truth, but Kay’s as well.

    I know I’ve been gone a long time. However, I’m back–blogging again–finally. Hope you had a wonderful summer, my friend!

    Hugs from Ecuador,
    Kathy
    Kathy McCullough recently posted..Remembering my Interview with “Baby Doc” Duvalier: On the Occasion of his DeathMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      October 6, 2014 at 2:53 pm

      Missed you, Kathy,
      I shall visit you very soon! xxx

  • Reply
    Anna @ shenANNAgans
    October 5, 2014 at 6:00 pm

    Holy WHAT?! I’m blown away, Kim. What a total arse… I am sitting here shaking my head that anyone would write such a comment on your blog. Faaaaaar Out!!! What a F’ing jerk!!! Your response however is absolutely brilliant, beautifully written, you really are such an inspiration, I love the cool response to this person. High fives & fist bumps to you. Soooo much respect! Thanks for being you Kim. I love that I have such an incredible woman like you in my life. xox
    Anna @ shenANNAgans recently posted..The Sparkling BrutMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      October 6, 2014 at 2:53 pm

      Anna,
      has anybody told you lately that you’re a sweetheart? xx

  • Reply
    Kimba
    October 5, 2014 at 6:00 pm

    Keep the dialogue open – it is the only way to change thinking and help people understand the issues. Thank you.
    Kimba recently posted..Stupid Sh*t Said to WomenMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      October 6, 2014 at 2:54 pm

      Kimba,
      I agree. An open, respectful dialogue can change the world. xx

  • Reply
    nan @ lbddiaries
    October 5, 2014 at 6:24 pm

    Honey chile, we’ all don’t talk to uneducated nincompoops, bless his heart.

    People like him who would dare to say that to you have a belief system that is ingrained so deeply he’d not care or believe what any woman would say to him.

  • Reply
    nan @ lbddiaries
    October 5, 2014 at 6:38 pm

    Oh I can’t leave it alone. There was a time I made more money than my ex. I had the house before he joined me. I had my own car. I had everything. I did not need him to support me. So this boys thought that she was lazy and the need to express it shows me as a boy and not a man.

    The best quote for this boy? TIs better to be thought ignorant than to open your mouth and remove all doubt
    nan @ lbddiaries recently posted..The Power of TouchMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      October 6, 2014 at 2:55 pm

      YES, Nan,
      that quote is perfection. xxx

  • Reply
    Valentine Logar
    October 5, 2014 at 6:54 pm

    There is nothing to say, nothing worth saying to someone who has no understanding of violence, or for that matter of women. This particular man is neanderthal, clearly not worthy of your time or response.

    However, others will learn from your response so it is good you took the time. Thank you.
    Valentine Logar recently posted..Morning WhispersMy Profile

  • Reply
    Kim Gagnon
    October 5, 2014 at 7:17 pm

    Proud if you Kimmy !!
    People need to be educated and know there is hope and support out there. I believe that people who don’t respect others don’t have respect for themselves and by bullying others and putting them down makes them feel powerful but no respect. Love you xoxoxo k

  • Reply
    Annette Molitor
    October 5, 2014 at 7:35 pm

    I’m glad you stood up to him Kim. Can he learn? Well I don’t know. If he’s related emotionally to my ex then NO. If he wants to be a man, then he’ll at least be humbled if even for a moment.
    Annette Molitor recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To LeaveMy Profile

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      October 6, 2014 at 3:46 pm

      Annette,
      I used to think all people can change, but that’s not true. Look at Kay’s murderer.
      On the other hand, if one WANTS to change, one can. Do you agree? xxx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To LeaveMy Profile

      • Reply
        Annette Molitor
        October 6, 2014 at 7:50 pm

        Kim, I think what comes before WANT to change is for the person being able to seeing error in their behavior, and wanting the error to become void. But it’s hard to be humble. I personally am friends with a guy who gave up alcohol because he hated who he was when he drank. He gets teased now and then for not drinking. But his over all attitude is that he’d rather be teased and sober than to be who he was when he was drunk.

        God resists the proud, and gives Grace to the humble.

        Blessings,

        Little Chickie
        Annette Molitor recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To LeaveMy Profile

  • Reply
    Bill Dameron
    October 5, 2014 at 7:43 pm

    What is more important is that you stayed. You are here speaking for your sister and you will never leave. He is a troll, unworthy. Gather up all of the positive and leave the negative. xo.
    Bill Dameron recently posted..Public DisplaysMy Profile

  • Reply
    Angie@Angie's Recipes
    October 5, 2014 at 8:24 pm

    I am GLAD that you have posted this…I hope this Aaron gets the message and understands who the problem is in this world.
    Angie@Angie’s Recipes recently posted..Gluten Free Pumpkin Protein Oat Bars with ApplesauceMy Profile

  • Reply
    solidgoldcreativity
    October 5, 2014 at 9:01 pm

    Hi Kimmy. I’m sorry you received such a comment. It’s awful and enraging. He’s being a jerk, speaking from something that occurred in his past or occurring now. It’s nothing to do with you or Kay. You’ve handled it well. Trolls show up when you’re making a difference. xx
    solidgoldcreativity recently posted..Melbourne in the springMy Profile

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      October 6, 2014 at 3:49 pm

      What is it w/ these Trolls? They are horrible little roaches sitting behind their computers feeling all safe and cozy and all powerful. They give me the chills. xxx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To LeaveMy Profile

      • Reply
        solidgoldcreativity
        October 6, 2014 at 5:43 pm

        As you know, I had a trolling incident on my blog. It’s been a few weeks and I’m only now feeling OK about being myself on it again. It was nothing like the brutal comment this guy left on yours, and it still shook me up. I felt like someone had come into my house and written something nasty on the walls. He told me in a comment I didn’t publish that the only reason he’d cultivated discussion on my blog was to get me to apologise to a woman who was disgruntled by a comment I’d made three years ago. He let me know he’s regularly in contact with her. He said he didn’t like that I”d *ostracised her” and that that was the only reason he visited my blog. Imagine that. Visiting a person’s blog for three years, cultivating discussion, only because you’re waiting for an opportunity to do … what? The one thing I’m grateful for is that he was finally straight about it.
        solidgoldcreativity recently posted..Melbourne in the springMy Profile

        • Reply
          My Inner Chick
          October 6, 2014 at 7:21 pm

          Narelle,
          it makes me wonder what goes on inside a “horrible” mind like that. It almost reminded me of my sister’s murderer.
          How are you, dear? Work? Love? Life? xxx
          My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To LeaveMy Profile

          • solidgoldcreativity
            October 6, 2014 at 8:57 pm

            I’m well, darling xx I’ve started dating for the first time in ages and am enjoying it. Going to talk more about it on my blog. How’s life and love in your world?
            solidgoldcreativity recently posted..Melbourne in the springMy Profile

  • Reply
    Mandy - The Complete Book
    October 6, 2014 at 12:20 am

    Kim! You are truly the most incredible woman! I am honoured to know you.
    What a very sad existence for the ignorant person who wrote such scathing words. He is clearly very blessed to not to know real fear.
    Sending you much love, hugs and kisses across the vast oceans separating us.
    🙂 Mandy xoxoxo
    Mandy – The Complete Book recently posted..In My Kitchen – October 2014My Profile

  • Reply
    Carolyn Hughes
    October 6, 2014 at 2:01 am

    This is exactly why you need to keep writing what you do Kim – to educate the ignorant who have no clue what it is like to be in a relationship with a manipulative killer. So many people don’t get why women stay in an abusive relationship because they have no idea how powerless a woman becomes in that situation.
    Thank God you are such a voice of clarity Kim – even Aaron Moon should be able to see the truth of the situation, but I doubt very much that he wants to.

    You wrote a great response Kim. Much love.xx
    Carolyn Hughes recently posted..Everybody hurts sometimesMy Profile

  • Reply
    Rashmi
    October 6, 2014 at 2:56 am

    IT is indeed sad that someone had such a bad comment for your post that enraged you. But I give u credit for replying him in such an amazingly written post, I hope he gets the point now and would learn a lesson of typing after thinking! Or for a matter of fact learn something!
    You write beautifully.
    Rashmi recently posted..Half Girlfriend pre-order madness !My Profile

  • Reply
    Suzanne Lucas
    October 6, 2014 at 4:28 am

    Kim, you said it beautifully and your sister would be proud. It’s terrible that there are people out there like him whose lives are so empty that all they can do is troll people on the Net. Clearly this guy’s issues are significant enough that he needs to see a mental health professional.

    Keep doing what you’re doing. There are so many out there that need to hear it; one woman who is able to set herself free is one life saved.
    Suzanne Lucas recently posted..Dear Spambot: I Love You TooMy Profile

  • Reply
    Jann
    October 6, 2014 at 7:26 am

    Kim, you’ve been hurt enough and don’t deserve to be hurt again by stupid ugly clueless comments. I think you handled it with grace and aplomb. xxxxx big hug to you
    Jann recently posted..Comment on Summer’s End by JannMy Profile

  • Reply
    Marie
    October 6, 2014 at 8:10 am

    You did GREAT Kim! I wonder where you mastered the strengh to give such an insightful reply. This guy does not have a clue what he’s talking about.
    Keep raising your voice KIM, it’s saving lives and honoring Kay’s memory. ALWAYS.
    xoxoxo
    Marie recently posted..Taking SidesMy Profile

  • Reply
    Ms. CrankyPants
    October 6, 2014 at 9:09 am

    Oh, that is revolting. You see comments like that all over the place these days; left by people with no apparent agenda other than to say shocking and hurtful things. Pathetic. Sorry, though, that it happened to YOU. xxx
    Ms. CrankyPants recently posted..My Cat Has No TeethMy Profile

  • Reply
    Patricia Scattergood
    October 6, 2014 at 9:18 am

    Your restraint is admirable, remarkable. Love you, Chickie.

  • Reply
    Ellen M. Gregg
    October 6, 2014 at 10:31 am

    There’s a lot of judgement in that comment; condemnation, even. I’m glad you chose to seize it as an educational opportunity, Kim. It would have been easier, but much less effective (and also too much like Kay’s murderer), to blast him to smithereens with anger-filled words.
    You chose the high road. Good on you, dearie. xoxo

  • Reply
    Debbie
    October 6, 2014 at 10:41 am

    It’s hard to believe that anyone in our “enlightened” world would be so dumb. Or so insensitive. See? That’s why you need to keep telling Kay’s story. For people like that letter-writer. For people who are quick to judge others. For people caught in a situation like your sister’s, people needing just that little push of courage to leave.

    Well written, Kim. Thank you for telling him — without dropping down to his level!
    Debbie recently posted..Rainy Day Beading ReduxMy Profile

  • Reply
    Jenny, Bloggess
    October 6, 2014 at 10:50 am

    I feel sorry for the comment writer. Someone with that little compassion has probably been damaged by domestic abuse himself and just can’t see it.

    Sending love.

  • Reply
    dad
    October 6, 2014 at 12:46 pm

    That guy hasn’t got anything else to do but write things on his computer to try and piss
    people off. How can he say like that about Kay like that when he don’t anything about her.
    I think that guy (Aaron) needs help, lots of it.
    Love You
    Dad

  • Reply
    Totally Caroline
    October 6, 2014 at 3:52 pm

    Alright then chicky, if you don’t want to say it, I will (as these days I am a pissed off, immature crazy lady): that guy is a MAJOR FUCKING DOUCHE … Just saying
    Totally Caroline recently posted..When the knight in shining armor has ridden off into the sunset without youMy Profile

  • Reply
    Totally Caroline
    October 6, 2014 at 3:54 pm

    P.s. I am so glad you made an example of him that way he can read all the comments and see that everyone thinks he is an asshole
    Totally Caroline recently posted..When the knight in shining armor has ridden off into the sunset without youMy Profile

  • Reply
    Lorraine @ Not Quite Nigella
    October 6, 2014 at 4:02 pm

    Wow what an ignorant and sad comment from him. Nothing but hugs and love for you Kim xxx
    Lorraine @ Not Quite Nigella recently posted..Snow White’s Evil Stepmother Pie & My First Recipe Video!My Profile

  • Reply
    Alice
    October 6, 2014 at 5:39 pm

    You’re a voice of reason, good sense, love and sanity!!! It’s so horrible to think someone (this man) would invite himself into your virtual home and lay down such a waste of words!!!

    You’re amazing and it’s clear to see, you have the power in this situation! Sending hugs xo
    Alice recently posted..Mindful Giving with Uncommon Goods.My Profile

  • Reply
    Jodi @ Heal Now and Forever
    October 6, 2014 at 6:24 pm

    Why do people spread misery? Why? Hate breads hate and let’s not give it our attentions!
    Jodi @ Heal Now and Forever recently posted..Generous “to a fault”My Profile

  • Reply
    Jeri
    October 6, 2014 at 7:49 pm

    Dear Aaron Moon, you are a douche…
    Jeri recently posted..#CreativeWriting: Horse CrazyMy Profile

  • Reply
    Polly John
    October 6, 2014 at 8:40 pm

    Hi Kim: I don’t always check in on your blogs, but whenever I do, I am amazed at your strength and courage. I wish I had known Kay better, but what I did see in her was such beauty and character……….and your family is a testament to what’s GOOD in this world. That being said, I’m going to take a different aspect of this jerk’s commentary (which was totally shitty and uncalled for), and wonder this: MAYBE, if he reads your blogs regularly, he will SEE and understand. MAYBE a little piece of your wisdom and courage will touch his cold and ugly heart……..and he’ll see the light. MAYBE, just maybe, he’s hiding behind his computer, feeling like a big old stud………..but a word or a sentence keeps coming back to him, and he knows how wrong his feelings are………and he’ll turn from his ugliness. It only takes a little piece of sand to make a pearl. Keep using your words and your strength to CHANGE hearts! God bless you!

  • Reply
    ladyfi
    October 7, 2014 at 1:31 am

    You kick ass. You’re needed. To enlighten people like this.
    ladyfi recently posted..Diving for rose petalsMy Profile

  • Reply
    Choc Chip Uru
    October 7, 2014 at 3:35 am

    What an awful person, how dare he invade your space in such a rude manner!
    You are too lovely a person and deserve a million times better!

    Cheers
    Choc Chip Uru
    Choc Chip Uru recently posted..“Too Much Fun” HangoverMy Profile

  • Reply
    Sebastian Aiden Daniels
    October 7, 2014 at 12:07 pm

    That is frustrating. I’m sorry you had to deal with that guy. The trolls of the internet are alive and well. I wonder what his background and history is like. He sounds like he probably has a lot of anger.

    I am glad you are finding a lot of support from your readers. Sending my love your way my friend.
    Sebastian Aiden Daniels recently posted..7 Funny Images That Will Make You Think About Life IssuesMy Profile

  • Reply
    totally caroline
    October 7, 2014 at 3:44 pm

    I saw this today and it made me think of your post:
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/09/12/why-didnt-you-just-leave_n_5805134.html

  • Reply
    Sandra
    October 7, 2014 at 4:07 pm

    You handled that like a boss, kudos to you! Hiding behind his keyboard obviously makes him feel like a big man and he was probably looking forward to having a pissing match with you. You my dear rose above it all.
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    Rita @ The Crafty Expat
    October 7, 2014 at 5:13 pm

    Great answer Kim to this ignorant person. Who the hell does he think he is to judge like this without even knowing Kay. I’m disgusted…
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    Dana
    October 8, 2014 at 11:54 am

    Good for you, Kim. Turning his ignorant comment into a teachable moment was the perfect thing to do. I doubt anything you say would change his mind, but if you can change the thinking of someone else, some good has been done.
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    Vidya Sury
    October 8, 2014 at 10:02 pm

    There are more people like Aaron Moon in this world than we need. Which is why we need more voices like yours in this world. People like A****** will always be judgmental, believe that the shit they talk is gospel and carry on with their heads stuck in their butts. Their thoughts and words will therefore stink, eternally. They will never stop to think..that relationships are interactive, two-way connections and both have to work at making it work. Aaron will never know what Kay went through and so, his judgmental comment simply belongs in cybertrash.

    Now you, Kim, continue to tell the world how you feel. Talk about Kay’s pain, your pain. You are making a difference to millions who put up with shit and are too scared to go public.

    I admire you and love you more than fields of sunflowers with their heads raised to the sun, smiling. Hugs!
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    Bella
    October 9, 2014 at 1:03 pm

    My dearest Kim, if you ever needed a reason to continue on your quest, this is it. Creating awareness, educating those who lack the knowledge to understand the whys of domestic abuse, and giving hope to women who find themselves in the same position Kay did, are just some of the reasons you do what you do. This reader obviously lacks empathy and without a doubt doesn’t have a clue regarding what abused women go through. Sadly, it’s easy for people to pass judgement on others, without knowing the details, without realizing their ignorance fuels situations such as these. I’m proud of you for enlightening Aaron and anyone else who feels it is his or her God given right to judge and condemn. Something tells me Kay is proud as can be for how you handled this. You are her voice. You speak for her and all the other women who are too afraid to do so. May God continue to give you strength to go forward, doing away with ignorance and continuing to inspire, motivate, and educate. Hugs to you from Roxy and me!

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    Alison
    October 11, 2014 at 1:08 am

    You’ve already written all the words that need to be written for people like Aaron Moon.
    Thank the universe for your presence in this world, Kim. xoxo
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    Hilary
    October 11, 2014 at 4:19 am

    Kim, I have said this before, but I will say it again, you are an amazing woman… you played this moron perfectly. I know how hard it had to have been to read his ignorant and compassionless words… I don’t know how you controlled yourself from writing him right back. But the way you handled was brilliant…

    I can’t imagine how he could have said that to you…. Or how anyone could judge what someone does. Until you experience the situation you never know what you would do…
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    Liz
    October 11, 2014 at 9:32 am

    Yes, there’s a lot of ignorance regarding this subject. Just look at how messed up our professional sports players…and those who oversee them. Education is key…and that’s just what you’re doing. xo

  • Reply
    Sandy Ramsey
    October 11, 2014 at 8:20 pm

    Kim, you handled this with such dignity and grace. You said all that needs to be said.
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    Gunmetal Geisha
    October 12, 2014 at 12:14 pm

    I wonder about the trauma such people must have experienced to cause that ugliness in them. But then I think of those who suffer trauma and turn around and do something beautiful with it. Thank goodness for those of you, Kim.
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    Lady Jennie
    October 13, 2014 at 10:12 am

    Jesus did not accuse the Samaritan woman in John 4. He did not mock her for having had 5 husbands. He did not accuse her for living with a man out of wedlock, though the religious leaders could have stoned her for that. And though the town (which was the undesirable city in the undesirable country of Samaria) rejected her so that she had to go and fetch her water at the well – alone – in the heat of day, Jesus did not reject her. In fact, she was the first person to whom he revealed that he was the Messiah.

    Aaron Moon has not understood Jesus’s heart for women. He has not understood Jesus’ heart at all. One day maybe he will.
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    Charlene Ross
    October 13, 2014 at 3:19 pm

    Oh Kim, when you posted that comment on your FB page I was so sickened by it. I still am now. You handled this beautifully my friend. I will never understand people like Aaron Moon.

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    Britton Swingler
    October 14, 2014 at 7:14 am

    How on earth you managed to handle this with such grace, I have no idea. You are a marvel Kim. <3
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    Kristi Campbell
    October 14, 2014 at 7:46 pm

    Holyfuckshitfuckingassholes. That is a word, by the way. I’m so proud of you for responding the way that you did, while also horrified by the dickhead who said what he did. You are such an important voice in the world that women have lived and are living now in the name of your sister. Please keep your voice and your words and your everything. I so appreciate what you are doing. So so much. And also? Fuck that asshat.
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    Gary Sidley
    October 15, 2014 at 2:00 pm

    What breath-taking arrogance to comment on an issue he clearly knows nothing about. Unless, of course, he is trying to rationalize his own abusive behavior? And what an apt response; powerful yet dignified. I wish you success in your awareness-raising about such an important issue.
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    Nikky44
    October 15, 2014 at 8:06 pm

    Aaron Moon,
    I had 2 great jobs and earned 4 times his salary. I owned an apartment (fully paid) before I got married and deliberatly gave it to him 5 years after getting married. I had 2 cars, he had none. I was never lazy, but I stayed. I stayed for so many reasons. I stayed because i thought it was the right thing to do. I stayed for my kids. I stayed because I loved him and felt sorry for him and didn’t want him to be miserable.

    Kim, I read this post so many times and each time got so angry, I couldn’t comment.
    Love you <3

  • Reply
    Anonymous
    November 10, 2014 at 12:31 pm

    Women stay for all sorts of reasons… I recently posted “Why I Stay” as a guest writer on letmereach.com, another fantastic blog.

    For me, it has nothing to do with laziness or materialism. But I do worry about my children’s future. I could live in a cardboard box and make it work, but couldn’t do that to them. Shelter is just one of a hundred reasons.

    That writer doesn’t know what it’s like to live with self-doubt and constant anxiety. Most of us have been conditioned to believe we couldn’t possibly make it on our own. Some days I know I could! On darker days I’m not so sure…

    My aunt was murdered when she tried to leave. I wonder if the writer ever considered that kind of deep, profound fear. Imagine fearing for your life for just trying to improve it. My husband has firearms in the house. Don’t think I don’t worry about it too. I’ve seen it first hand and even though I don’t believe that is a likely outcome for me, I know there is a remote chance it could end badly. It sickens me and yet I feel paralyzed. My aunt didn’t think it was possible, either.

    You’re doing great work with this blog- empowering women, educating, supporting, etc. Sure, you get a bad apple now and then, but the rest of us thank you for sharing your sister’s story and maintaining the site!

  • Reply
    Kim | a little lunch
    November 11, 2014 at 3:52 am

    Apparently Aaron doesn’t realize how hard full time mothers work. Or how hard she worked to keep the peace. That’s two full time jobs without pay. Lazy? I don’t think so.

  • Reply
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    November 22, 2014 at 11:09 am

    […] She Was Too Lazy to Leave […]

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    Sherill
    December 8, 2014 at 8:35 pm

    I am sorry to hear about your sister. Good for you that you are able to be a voice for your sister and say what you have to, to set things straight. Bless you and your family so that you may overcome this tragedy.
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    All Roads Out Of Hell Lead Home | My Inner Chick
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    […] She Stayed Becasue She Was Too Lazy To Leave […]

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