Kay’s Journal dated a few weeks before her murder.
Dear, Aaron Moon,
I have no idea who you are, but we need to talk.
You left a comment on my blog post, 13 Reasons She Stayed, which initially infuriated me, made me see the deepest red.
I examined every syllable slowly, deliberately, disbelievingly.
And each one felt like a punch to the stomach.
“This is why she stayed: He had money. He had a rent free place for her to live. He had a job. She was too lazy to work or leave. He has a car she could use. She had no bills to pay.”
I admit, the first instant after reading those words, those razor sharp words, I felt disgust flow thru my blood stream, loathing fill my lungs. I wanted to wrap my hands around your neck and choke you, choke you, fucking choke you. I wanted to hire Isis to cut your head off. I wanted to fire off responses like… “Asshole. Idiot. I bet you beat your wife, kids, and even kick the dog. Son-of-a-bitch. Bastard.”
This is what I wanted to say.
But I didn’t. How could I? How could I lower myself in such a way?
Instead, I ceased the moment as teachable, instructive.
Ignorance breeds ignorance. Hatred breeds hatred. Foolishness breeds foolishness.
I’m going to enlighten you.
My sister stayed because she had three babies to raise. HIS babies, which he didn’t give a shit about.
I remember Jordan, the youngest, would sprint to him as he walked through the door, hug him around the legs tightly, kiss his jeans. He did this every. single. day… but my sister’s killer never responded. He merely stood there stiff, cold, and without heart.
After that, Jordan stopped running to him.
Yeah, that’s kind of what the marriage was like, too.
Emotionless. Sunless. Moonless.
She stayed because she thought he’d become a father to his children, a husband to his wife, a man she could look up to with admiration.
She stayed because she believed wholeheartedly that one day he’d respect her, value her, listen to her, love her, be amazed by her uniqueness.
She stayed, mostly, because she thought he’d change.
He. Never. Changed.
Instead…
He. Became. A. Murderer.
So, Aaron Moon, stick this letter in your pocket, tuck it inside your brain, allow the words to roll around inside your psyche.
And when you decide to judge a woman, which you will, for being too lazy to leave, take it out and remember her blood, her last breath, her crying, her hope, her sacrifice…
Then look in the mirror and ask what it is about ‘Yourself” that would cause you to take your precious time to write something so utterly appalling to a person you don’t know.
Signed,
Kay’s Sister, whom is honored to be her voice
——-Darling, Readers, any insight or enlightenment for the individuals reading this letter who need to be educated?
If you are being abused in ANY way whatsoever, call the Domestic Abuse Hotline Now: 1-800-799-7233 … remember you are loved, valued, & cherished.
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145 Comments
Trish
October 5, 2014 at 9:12 amI had no comment for him. My comment is only for you: This is why you must keep writing. Thinking of you.
My Inner Chick
October 6, 2014 at 4:45 amGreat response, Trish.
Thank you for your continued support. xxx
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
AbbyB
October 5, 2014 at 9:34 amI hope this writing of this post was somehow healing to you. I know people tell you this all the time, but Kay would be proud. xo
My Inner Chick
October 6, 2014 at 4:45 amAbbyB,
writing is ALWAYS healing. It is my prayer. xxx
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
Tia
October 5, 2014 at 11:16 amPOWERFUL!
My Inner Chick
October 6, 2014 at 4:46 amDear, T,
you rock like Gaga. xx
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
Bren Lee
October 5, 2014 at 11:46 amPure ignorance on his part Kim. That seems like the typical answer for an “abuser”, although I shouldn’t judge him. I’m glad there are women like you that are being the VOICE for the victims. Much love my friend. xoxo
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My Inner Chick
October 6, 2014 at 4:46 amMuch love back to you, Bren Lee. thank you for your support! xxx
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
Elephant's Child
October 5, 2014 at 12:32 pmYou are much more of an adult that I am. I think I would have wallowed in my rage.
She stayed, as so many stay,for a lot of reasons. Hope. Love. Fear. And laziness and materialism don’t come into them.
Elephant’s Child recently posted..Tomorrow
My Inner Chick
October 6, 2014 at 4:48 amDear, S,
at first, I felt physically sick. I called my mom and girlfriend to get out the cuss words. Then I thought, this is a teaching moment, a God moment. Luv flowing to you, sweetheart. xx
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
Amy@SoulDipper
October 5, 2014 at 1:07 pmYep, that type of thinking is the epitome of the man who will NOT change. It’s too risky. He’d have to find ways to be a man other than thinking he’s superior to women.
Why do I beleive his next 100 incarnations will be as a woman?
Amy@SoulDipper recently posted..A Saree for my Heart
My Inner Chick
October 6, 2014 at 4:49 amAmy,
what he doesn’t realize is that “WOMEN” can kick his ass metaphorically in all ways! xx
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
totsymae1011
October 5, 2014 at 1:42 pmOooh, that comment was a punch to the gut. Perhaps worse. I’d like to say he was trying to get a rise outta you but unfortunately, there are folk who feel that way. Regardless, just ’cause one feels something, doesn’t mean they have to express it.
Be well and blessed and keep doing the good work that makes us all more informed.
totsymae1011 recently posted..Heiress to The 1st Amendment
My Inner Chick
October 6, 2014 at 2:08 pmTots,
he was def. trying to get a raise outta me. Actually, it was a great teachable moment. xx
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
Beverly Diehl
October 5, 2014 at 1:44 pmBeautiful, poignant, wonderful.
Will it reach this troll, in any deep, emotional way? I doubt it. But maybe this will reach a brother, a son, a co-worker, a neighbor, who’s looked at a women in a similar situation and not “got” the many complicated reasons she did not leave. And maybe that person will help another woman, or man, who’s being verbally or emotionally abused, before it is too late.
Love and hugs
Beverly Diehl recently posted..Because Kittens
My Inner Chick
October 6, 2014 at 2:38 pmGreat words of advice, Beverly.
Hugs back to you. xx
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
Mike
October 5, 2014 at 1:51 pmKim, I’m so very sorry such a terrible comment was left by that person. I know that sometimes people are just trolling to get a reaction as demented as that is. They are not worthy of a reaction…just my opinion. You have courage and bravery being reproach as you’ve continued to move on in this life without Kay. You are surrounded by love from those that truly matter and she looks over you always. Many hugs to you 🙂
Mike recently posted..A Friend Is Missed Around The World
My Inner Chick
October 6, 2014 at 2:38 pmMike,
YES. He was not worthy, but it was an opportunity for a teachable moment.
Think of you often, sweets. xx
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
Chris Carter
October 5, 2014 at 2:05 pmMay I add ? Kay stayed because she had FAITHfully sacrificed her own needs, and her own gutted heart to hope for, encourage and ultimately pray for this husband of hers to be redeemed and transformed into a man of honor that transcends her undying hope for love – Love for his wife and children. That Kay’s strength and integrity was stronger than her murderer, and that is why he killed her? That BECAUSE of her faith and strength and relentless hope, she endured this horrific life- because she believed in the power of a miracle?
The man who responded with that comment does not know what honor, faith, integrity, hope, sacrifice, strength and love look like. I pity him actually. And I pray that he lives alone, and no woman is ever captive of his mentality.
Chris Carter recently posted..Thankfuls From Prague!
My Inner Chick
October 6, 2014 at 2:41 pmChris,
you would have loved Kay. You are absolutely right…She prayed for Mike all the time. We all did. She thought God would transform him. How did you know this? He said he changed, read the bible, went to church…but he was lying.
Love you from here. xx
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
Monica
October 5, 2014 at 2:19 pmIt takes all kinds, Kim. Unfortunately this is true. Don’t give him your power. You are doing a wonderful thing giving voice to Kay and to all who are victims of domestic violence. We know the truth. He’s the one with the problem. Keep it up. Delete him and forget his dumb words.
Monica recently posted..My Birthday Week–Fun, Frivolity, Madness & Sir Paul
My Inner Chick
October 6, 2014 at 2:43 pmMonica,
he has NO power. Somebody who would write something like that LACKS the power. Right?
I feel sorry for his wife/ girlfriend…NOT for him. xxx kISS for you.
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
lisa
October 5, 2014 at 2:41 pmI honestly feel very sorry for this person, Kim.
So ignorant, it is to be pitied.
Hugs to you, sweet friend. xo.
Barbara
October 5, 2014 at 4:40 pmI feel sorry for any woman he has a relationship with!
Barbara recently posted..The Cape May Adventure Continues…
Kim Sisto-Robinson
October 6, 2014 at 2:49 pmME, too, Barbara!
My Inner Chick
October 6, 2014 at 2:43 pmLisa,
Hugs back to you, dear. xx
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
Lisa thomson
October 5, 2014 at 2:56 pmPerfect, Kim! My first thought when I heard about this troll was he is bitter and miserable . He found his way here because he needs enlightenment badly. Beautifuy expressed Kim. I would have said “F**k you” & then be at his level. Hugs! xo
Lisa thomson recently posted..50 Things I’ve Learned
My Inner Chick
October 6, 2014 at 2:44 pmLisa,
I hope he reads this! Or somebody else who needs an education. xx
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
Hotly Spiced
October 5, 2014 at 3:26 pmI’m totally shocked, Kim. I can’t believe anyone could write such a heartless and ‘know-it-all’ comment on your blog. What a lot of cruelty he has. You’ve written a fabulous response and I’m glad you didn’t let him get away with having the last word. His comment shows such a lack of comprehension and understanding of domestic violence xx
Hotly Spiced recently posted..Reef Beach, Sydney
My Inner Chick
October 6, 2014 at 2:45 pmDear, Charlie,
ignorance is not Bliss)) Kiss from MN. xx
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
Joan Peterson
October 5, 2014 at 3:38 pmThank you Kim for challenging this ignorant and clueless commenter. Your post is exactly right. How can someone look at a domestic shooting and blame it on the victim? Disgusting and inexcusable. But it is the reason domestic violence continues. We need to break the cycle and educate people. And you are the person to do that. Keep it up. I love you.
Joan Peterson recently posted..While I was away; “reflections” of different cultures
My Inner Chick
October 6, 2014 at 2:47 pmJoan,
this comment demonstrates the Exact reason DV is prevalent and out of control. Aaron Moon is the perfect example of ignorance and lack of empathy. xxxx LUV u
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
Balroop Singh
October 5, 2014 at 3:39 pmHi Kim,
While we try to understand such insensitive persons who left this comment, lets not forget they are all around us, in various forms, wearing the masks of kindness, displaying a heart full of love, trying to trap innocent, naive girls who believe this world is full of good people!
Lets not forget there are many more who are beating, torturing and killing!
Lets not forget they can never change their sick thinking.
Lets not forget we have to create more awareness to recognise such monsters who roam around us in human form.
This person deserves all those words you used and much more.
Balroop Singh recently posted..Living Again
Kim Sisto-Robinson
October 6, 2014 at 2:50 pmBalroop,
excellent words of wisdom. We need to educate, share our experience.
I mean, what other reason are we here? xxx
debbie
October 5, 2014 at 4:07 pmYou are doing exactly what you need to be doing Kim and just keep on doing it. My opinion is that the person who wrote this was not just clueless and ignorant but angry. Big time angry….
debbie recently posted..Old Fashioned Pound Cake
Kim Sisto-Robinson
October 6, 2014 at 2:51 pmDebbie,
yes…It’s much more about HIM than ME. I do know this. We need to Utilize our voices to CHANGE the world! Right? xx
Barbara
October 5, 2014 at 4:47 pmWe are, usually, told to ignore the trolls. Don’t give them any ‘power’. I totally understand your need to address this idiot. I do. I’m, thinking he either grew up with an abusive father, or in some way, has lived in a violent environment. These males are put in a difficult position, whether to admit they know it’s wrong or become the abuser. The abuser seems to have the power, in their mind. This is how the cycle continues. It’s a horrible, horrible legacy.
Thank you for speaking up and telling him the truth. I hope he can see the futility of his position.
xoxob
Barbara recently posted..The Cape May Adventure Continues…
Kim Sisto-Robinson
October 6, 2014 at 2:52 pmBarbara,
HE HAS NO POWER. I have taken it away and posted a blog w/ his own vile words.
Love all of your support and VOICE, Sweets. xxx
Kathy McCullough
October 5, 2014 at 5:09 pmGod, what an asshole! Thank you SO much for writing this–and for speaking, not only your truth, but Kay’s as well.
I know I’ve been gone a long time. However, I’m back–blogging again–finally. Hope you had a wonderful summer, my friend!
Hugs from Ecuador,
Kathy
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Kim Sisto-Robinson
October 6, 2014 at 2:53 pmMissed you, Kathy,
I shall visit you very soon! xxx
Anna @ shenANNAgans
October 5, 2014 at 6:00 pmHoly WHAT?! I’m blown away, Kim. What a total arse… I am sitting here shaking my head that anyone would write such a comment on your blog. Faaaaaar Out!!! What a F’ing jerk!!! Your response however is absolutely brilliant, beautifully written, you really are such an inspiration, I love the cool response to this person. High fives & fist bumps to you. Soooo much respect! Thanks for being you Kim. I love that I have such an incredible woman like you in my life. xox
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Kim Sisto-Robinson
October 6, 2014 at 2:53 pmAnna,
has anybody told you lately that you’re a sweetheart? xx
Kimba
October 5, 2014 at 6:00 pmKeep the dialogue open – it is the only way to change thinking and help people understand the issues. Thank you.
Kimba recently posted..Stupid Sh*t Said to Women
Kim Sisto-Robinson
October 6, 2014 at 2:54 pmKimba,
I agree. An open, respectful dialogue can change the world. xx
nan @ lbddiaries
October 5, 2014 at 6:24 pmHoney chile, we’ all don’t talk to uneducated nincompoops, bless his heart.
People like him who would dare to say that to you have a belief system that is ingrained so deeply he’d not care or believe what any woman would say to him.
nan @ lbddiaries
October 5, 2014 at 6:38 pmOh I can’t leave it alone. There was a time I made more money than my ex. I had the house before he joined me. I had my own car. I had everything. I did not need him to support me. So this boys thought that she was lazy and the need to express it shows me as a boy and not a man.
The best quote for this boy? TIs better to be thought ignorant than to open your mouth and remove all doubt
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Kim Sisto-Robinson
October 6, 2014 at 2:55 pmYES, Nan,
that quote is perfection. xxx
Valentine Logar
October 5, 2014 at 6:54 pmThere is nothing to say, nothing worth saying to someone who has no understanding of violence, or for that matter of women. This particular man is neanderthal, clearly not worthy of your time or response.
However, others will learn from your response so it is good you took the time. Thank you.
Valentine Logar recently posted..Morning Whispers
My Inner Chick
October 6, 2014 at 3:45 pmLove when you visit me, darling Val. xx
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
Kim Gagnon
October 5, 2014 at 7:17 pmProud if you Kimmy !!
People need to be educated and know there is hope and support out there. I believe that people who don’t respect others don’t have respect for themselves and by bullying others and putting them down makes them feel powerful but no respect. Love you xoxoxo k
My Inner Chick
October 6, 2014 at 3:45 pmKimmy,
very true. This man, obviously, does not respect himself. This is certain. Luv U.
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
Annette Molitor
October 5, 2014 at 7:35 pmI’m glad you stood up to him Kim. Can he learn? Well I don’t know. If he’s related emotionally to my ex then NO. If he wants to be a man, then he’ll at least be humbled if even for a moment.
Annette Molitor recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
My Inner Chick
October 6, 2014 at 3:46 pmAnnette,
I used to think all people can change, but that’s not true. Look at Kay’s murderer.
On the other hand, if one WANTS to change, one can. Do you agree? xxx
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
Annette Molitor
October 6, 2014 at 7:50 pmKim, I think what comes before WANT to change is for the person being able to seeing error in their behavior, and wanting the error to become void. But it’s hard to be humble. I personally am friends with a guy who gave up alcohol because he hated who he was when he drank. He gets teased now and then for not drinking. But his over all attitude is that he’d rather be teased and sober than to be who he was when he was drunk.
God resists the proud, and gives Grace to the humble.
Blessings,
Little Chickie
Annette Molitor recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
Bill Dameron
October 5, 2014 at 7:43 pmWhat is more important is that you stayed. You are here speaking for your sister and you will never leave. He is a troll, unworthy. Gather up all of the positive and leave the negative. xo.
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My Inner Chick
October 6, 2014 at 3:47 pmBill,
beautiful comment. thank you. xx
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
Angie@Angie's Recipes
October 5, 2014 at 8:24 pmI am GLAD that you have posted this…I hope this Aaron gets the message and understands who the problem is in this world.
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My Inner Chick
October 6, 2014 at 3:47 pmMe, too, Angie.
Education is POWER. Xxx
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
solidgoldcreativity
October 5, 2014 at 9:01 pmHi Kimmy. I’m sorry you received such a comment. It’s awful and enraging. He’s being a jerk, speaking from something that occurred in his past or occurring now. It’s nothing to do with you or Kay. You’ve handled it well. Trolls show up when you’re making a difference. xx
solidgoldcreativity recently posted..Melbourne in the spring
My Inner Chick
October 6, 2014 at 3:49 pmWhat is it w/ these Trolls? They are horrible little roaches sitting behind their computers feeling all safe and cozy and all powerful. They give me the chills. xxx
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
solidgoldcreativity
October 6, 2014 at 5:43 pmAs you know, I had a trolling incident on my blog. It’s been a few weeks and I’m only now feeling OK about being myself on it again. It was nothing like the brutal comment this guy left on yours, and it still shook me up. I felt like someone had come into my house and written something nasty on the walls. He told me in a comment I didn’t publish that the only reason he’d cultivated discussion on my blog was to get me to apologise to a woman who was disgruntled by a comment I’d made three years ago. He let me know he’s regularly in contact with her. He said he didn’t like that I”d *ostracised her” and that that was the only reason he visited my blog. Imagine that. Visiting a person’s blog for three years, cultivating discussion, only because you’re waiting for an opportunity to do … what? The one thing I’m grateful for is that he was finally straight about it.
solidgoldcreativity recently posted..Melbourne in the spring
My Inner Chick
October 6, 2014 at 7:21 pmNarelle,
it makes me wonder what goes on inside a “horrible” mind like that. It almost reminded me of my sister’s murderer.
How are you, dear? Work? Love? Life? xxx
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
solidgoldcreativity
October 6, 2014 at 8:57 pmI’m well, darling xx I’ve started dating for the first time in ages and am enjoying it. Going to talk more about it on my blog. How’s life and love in your world?
solidgoldcreativity recently posted..Melbourne in the spring
Mandy - The Complete Book
October 6, 2014 at 12:20 amKim! You are truly the most incredible woman! I am honoured to know you.
What a very sad existence for the ignorant person who wrote such scathing words. He is clearly very blessed to not to know real fear.
Sending you much love, hugs and kisses across the vast oceans separating us.
🙂 Mandy xoxoxo
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My Inner Chick
October 6, 2014 at 3:49 pmMandy,
feeling your love across the ocean. XXXXXXXXXX
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
Carolyn Hughes
October 6, 2014 at 2:01 amThis is exactly why you need to keep writing what you do Kim – to educate the ignorant who have no clue what it is like to be in a relationship with a manipulative killer. So many people don’t get why women stay in an abusive relationship because they have no idea how powerless a woman becomes in that situation.
Thank God you are such a voice of clarity Kim – even Aaron Moon should be able to see the truth of the situation, but I doubt very much that he wants to.
You wrote a great response Kim. Much love.xx
Carolyn Hughes recently posted..Everybody hurts sometimes
My Inner Chick
October 6, 2014 at 3:50 pmI agree, Carolyn.
Men like Aaron want to talk and judge, but not listen to the truth.
xxx
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
Rashmi
October 6, 2014 at 2:56 amIT is indeed sad that someone had such a bad comment for your post that enraged you. But I give u credit for replying him in such an amazingly written post, I hope he gets the point now and would learn a lesson of typing after thinking! Or for a matter of fact learn something!
You write beautifully.
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My Inner Chick
October 6, 2014 at 3:51 pmRashmi,
thank you for visiting my virtue world. Xxx
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
Suzanne Lucas
October 6, 2014 at 4:28 amKim, you said it beautifully and your sister would be proud. It’s terrible that there are people out there like him whose lives are so empty that all they can do is troll people on the Net. Clearly this guy’s issues are significant enough that he needs to see a mental health professional.
Keep doing what you’re doing. There are so many out there that need to hear it; one woman who is able to set herself free is one life saved.
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My Inner Chick
October 6, 2014 at 7:26 pmHi, Suzanne,
I do believe a year ago, I would have told Aaron to Fuck Off.
I’ve come a long way since then.
xx
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
Jann
October 6, 2014 at 7:26 amKim, you’ve been hurt enough and don’t deserve to be hurt again by stupid ugly clueless comments. I think you handled it with grace and aplomb. xxxxx big hug to you
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My Inner Chick
October 6, 2014 at 7:27 pmHug, love, kiss back to you, darling Jann.
Where have you been? xx
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
Marie
October 6, 2014 at 8:10 amYou did GREAT Kim! I wonder where you mastered the strengh to give such an insightful reply. This guy does not have a clue what he’s talking about.
Keep raising your voice KIM, it’s saving lives and honoring Kay’s memory. ALWAYS.
xoxoxo
Marie recently posted..Taking Sides
My Inner Chick
October 6, 2014 at 7:27 pmMarie,
the strength? The same place yours comes from : GOD! xxx
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
Ms. CrankyPants
October 6, 2014 at 9:09 amOh, that is revolting. You see comments like that all over the place these days; left by people with no apparent agenda other than to say shocking and hurtful things. Pathetic. Sorry, though, that it happened to YOU. xxx
Ms. CrankyPants recently posted..My Cat Has No Teeth
My Inner Chick
October 6, 2014 at 7:31 pmCranky,
I agree.
Pathetic and without Value.
xxx
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
Patricia Scattergood
October 6, 2014 at 9:18 amYour restraint is admirable, remarkable. Love you, Chickie.
My Inner Chick
October 6, 2014 at 7:35 pmLove you more, Pat. xx R U well?
Ellen M. Gregg
October 6, 2014 at 10:31 amThere’s a lot of judgement in that comment; condemnation, even. I’m glad you chose to seize it as an educational opportunity, Kim. It would have been easier, but much less effective (and also too much like Kay’s murderer), to blast him to smithereens with anger-filled words.
You chose the high road. Good on you, dearie. xoxo
My Inner Chick
October 6, 2014 at 7:36 pmI agree, Ellen.
Lowering oneself accomplishes nothing. Xx How are you?
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
Debbie
October 6, 2014 at 10:41 amIt’s hard to believe that anyone in our “enlightened” world would be so dumb. Or so insensitive. See? That’s why you need to keep telling Kay’s story. For people like that letter-writer. For people who are quick to judge others. For people caught in a situation like your sister’s, people needing just that little push of courage to leave.
Well written, Kim. Thank you for telling him — without dropping down to his level!
Debbie recently posted..Rainy Day Beading Redux
My Inner Chick
October 6, 2014 at 7:37 pmThanks, as always, for reading, Debbie. xxx
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
Jenny, Bloggess
October 6, 2014 at 10:50 amI feel sorry for the comment writer. Someone with that little compassion has probably been damaged by domestic abuse himself and just can’t see it.
Sending love.
My Inner Chick
October 6, 2014 at 7:42 pmHi, Jenny,
Feeling the love in Duluth. I appreciate your powerful voice in this crazy virtual world of blogging. xx
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
dad
October 6, 2014 at 12:46 pmThat guy hasn’t got anything else to do but write things on his computer to try and piss
people off. How can he say like that about Kay like that when he don’t anything about her.
I think that guy (Aaron) needs help, lots of it.
Love You
Dad
My Inner Chick
October 6, 2014 at 7:43 pmDaddy,
I love love love your more than 1000 dove chocolate bars. XXXXXXXXXXXX
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
Totally Caroline
October 6, 2014 at 3:52 pmAlright then chicky, if you don’t want to say it, I will (as these days I am a pissed off, immature crazy lady): that guy is a MAJOR FUCKING DOUCHE … Just saying
Totally Caroline recently posted..When the knight in shining armor has ridden off into the sunset without you
My Inner Chick
October 6, 2014 at 7:44 pmCaroline,
I hope he reads this blog and comments!!! xxx
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
Totally Caroline
October 6, 2014 at 3:54 pmP.s. I am so glad you made an example of him that way he can read all the comments and see that everyone thinks he is an asshole
Totally Caroline recently posted..When the knight in shining armor has ridden off into the sunset without you
Lorraine @ Not Quite Nigella
October 6, 2014 at 4:02 pmWow what an ignorant and sad comment from him. Nothing but hugs and love for you Kim xxx
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My Inner Chick
October 6, 2014 at 7:44 pmBack to you, sweet Lorraine. xx00
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
Alice
October 6, 2014 at 5:39 pmYou’re a voice of reason, good sense, love and sanity!!! It’s so horrible to think someone (this man) would invite himself into your virtual home and lay down such a waste of words!!!
You’re amazing and it’s clear to see, you have the power in this situation! Sending hugs xo
Alice recently posted..Mindful Giving with Uncommon Goods.
My Inner Chick
October 6, 2014 at 7:45 pmAlice,
I know.
I felt violated in a weird way.
And Sick. And angry as hell.
xxx
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
Jodi @ Heal Now and Forever
October 6, 2014 at 6:24 pmWhy do people spread misery? Why? Hate breads hate and let’s not give it our attentions!
Jodi @ Heal Now and Forever recently posted..Generous “to a fault”
My Inner Chick
October 6, 2014 at 7:46 pmJodi,
I don’t know. Perhaps miserable people want / desire Everybody to be miserable, too. xxx
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
Jeri
October 6, 2014 at 7:49 pmDear Aaron Moon, you are a douche…
Jeri recently posted..#CreativeWriting: Horse Crazy
My Inner Chick
October 6, 2014 at 9:41 pmTruer than true, Jeri.
xx
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
Polly John
October 6, 2014 at 8:40 pmHi Kim: I don’t always check in on your blogs, but whenever I do, I am amazed at your strength and courage. I wish I had known Kay better, but what I did see in her was such beauty and character……….and your family is a testament to what’s GOOD in this world. That being said, I’m going to take a different aspect of this jerk’s commentary (which was totally shitty and uncalled for), and wonder this: MAYBE, if he reads your blogs regularly, he will SEE and understand. MAYBE a little piece of your wisdom and courage will touch his cold and ugly heart……..and he’ll see the light. MAYBE, just maybe, he’s hiding behind his computer, feeling like a big old stud………..but a word or a sentence keeps coming back to him, and he knows how wrong his feelings are………and he’ll turn from his ugliness. It only takes a little piece of sand to make a pearl. Keep using your words and your strength to CHANGE hearts! God bless you!
My Inner Chick
October 6, 2014 at 9:44 pmDear, Polly,
gorgeous words & insight here. Thank You. xx
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
ladyfi
October 7, 2014 at 1:31 amYou kick ass. You’re needed. To enlighten people like this.
ladyfi recently posted..Diving for rose petals
My Inner Chick
October 7, 2014 at 4:46 amLady Fi,
And you are needed to bring joy w/ your art. xxx Thinking of you & Oscar.
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
Choc Chip Uru
October 7, 2014 at 3:35 amWhat an awful person, how dare he invade your space in such a rude manner!
You are too lovely a person and deserve a million times better!
Cheers
Choc Chip Uru
Choc Chip Uru recently posted..“Too Much Fun” Hangover
My Inner Chick
October 7, 2014 at 4:47 amChoc,
as always, I appreciate you. xx
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
Sebastian Aiden Daniels
October 7, 2014 at 12:07 pmThat is frustrating. I’m sorry you had to deal with that guy. The trolls of the internet are alive and well. I wonder what his background and history is like. He sounds like he probably has a lot of anger.
I am glad you are finding a lot of support from your readers. Sending my love your way my friend.
Sebastian Aiden Daniels recently posted..7 Funny Images That Will Make You Think About Life Issues
My Inner Chick
October 7, 2014 at 12:50 pmSebastian,
I don’t care about his history! It’s about time to stop making excuses for these people, these abusers, these murderers. You know what I mean?
xxx
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
totally caroline
October 7, 2014 at 3:44 pmI saw this today and it made me think of your post:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/09/12/why-didnt-you-just-leave_n_5805134.html
My Inner Chick
October 7, 2014 at 8:40 pmthank you, Caroline.
Just save to my favorites. xx
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
Sandra
October 7, 2014 at 4:07 pmYou handled that like a boss, kudos to you! Hiding behind his keyboard obviously makes him feel like a big man and he was probably looking forward to having a pissing match with you. You my dear rose above it all.
Sandra recently posted..Comment on Healthy Solutions Spice Blend ~ Shake it Off by South Shore Decorating Blog
My Inner Chick
October 7, 2014 at 8:37 pmSandra,
yes, this is true. This man probably wouldn’t even look me in the face as we
cross paths. Pathetic. xx
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
Rita @ The Crafty Expat
October 7, 2014 at 5:13 pmGreat answer Kim to this ignorant person. Who the hell does he think he is to judge like this without even knowing Kay. I’m disgusted…
Rita @ The Crafty Expat recently posted..Once The Musical #LoveOnce
My Inner Chick
October 7, 2014 at 8:38 pmI know, Rita.
He’s a BIG man sitting behind his computer. Perhaps not so much when he’s
out in the real world. xx
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
Dana
October 8, 2014 at 11:54 amGood for you, Kim. Turning his ignorant comment into a teachable moment was the perfect thing to do. I doubt anything you say would change his mind, but if you can change the thinking of someone else, some good has been done.
Dana recently posted..Onion goggles and other things that don’t make me cry
My Inner Chick
October 8, 2014 at 12:52 pmDana,
in my opinion, most people do not change unless they truly desire to.
This post is not for him…it’s for the people who WANT to transform & become educated.
Do you agree? xx
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
Vidya Sury
October 8, 2014 at 10:02 pmThere are more people like Aaron Moon in this world than we need. Which is why we need more voices like yours in this world. People like A****** will always be judgmental, believe that the shit they talk is gospel and carry on with their heads stuck in their butts. Their thoughts and words will therefore stink, eternally. They will never stop to think..that relationships are interactive, two-way connections and both have to work at making it work. Aaron will never know what Kay went through and so, his judgmental comment simply belongs in cybertrash.
Now you, Kim, continue to tell the world how you feel. Talk about Kay’s pain, your pain. You are making a difference to millions who put up with shit and are too scared to go public.
I admire you and love you more than fields of sunflowers with their heads raised to the sun, smiling. Hugs!
Vidya Sury recently posted..Did You Bring Your Teddy Bear To Work?
My Inner Chick
October 9, 2014 at 4:41 amVidya,
my heart leaps when you visit me. Love you more than the fire red leaves blowing outside my window. xxxx
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
Bella
October 9, 2014 at 1:03 pmMy dearest Kim, if you ever needed a reason to continue on your quest, this is it. Creating awareness, educating those who lack the knowledge to understand the whys of domestic abuse, and giving hope to women who find themselves in the same position Kay did, are just some of the reasons you do what you do. This reader obviously lacks empathy and without a doubt doesn’t have a clue regarding what abused women go through. Sadly, it’s easy for people to pass judgement on others, without knowing the details, without realizing their ignorance fuels situations such as these. I’m proud of you for enlightening Aaron and anyone else who feels it is his or her God given right to judge and condemn. Something tells me Kay is proud as can be for how you handled this. You are her voice. You speak for her and all the other women who are too afraid to do so. May God continue to give you strength to go forward, doing away with ignorance and continuing to inspire, motivate, and educate. Hugs to you from Roxy and me!
My Inner Chick
October 9, 2014 at 1:35 pmDear, Bella,
I’ve miss you and Roxy.
If you ever want to talk or vent,
I am hear to listen.
Love you guys. xxx
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
Alison
October 11, 2014 at 1:08 amYou’ve already written all the words that need to be written for people like Aaron Moon.
Thank the universe for your presence in this world, Kim. xoxo
Alison recently posted..Hey, I Have Feelings Too
My Inner Chick
October 11, 2014 at 7:53 amIt is my honor and privilege
to be my sister’s voice, Alison Lee.
xxx
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
Hilary
October 11, 2014 at 4:19 amKim, I have said this before, but I will say it again, you are an amazing woman… you played this moron perfectly. I know how hard it had to have been to read his ignorant and compassionless words… I don’t know how you controlled yourself from writing him right back. But the way you handled was brilliant…
I can’t imagine how he could have said that to you…. Or how anyone could judge what someone does. Until you experience the situation you never know what you would do…
Hilary recently posted..FOLLOW FRIDAY FOUR FILL IN FUN BLOG HOP – WEEK 184
My Inner Chick
October 11, 2014 at 7:55 am–Hilary,
I felt such hatred that first moment…
but then I thought, “OMGosh, I’m just like him!”
It made more sense to calm down, educate, & enlighten. xx
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
Liz
October 11, 2014 at 9:32 amYes, there’s a lot of ignorance regarding this subject. Just look at how messed up our professional sports players…and those who oversee them. Education is key…and that’s just what you’re doing. xo
My Inner Chick
October 11, 2014 at 1:21 pmYes, Liz,
Education is POWER.
Education changes the world.
That, and kicking ass w/ our words! XXX
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
Sandy Ramsey
October 11, 2014 at 8:20 pmKim, you handled this with such dignity and grace. You said all that needs to be said.
Sandy Ramsey recently posted..Playing Catch Up
My Inner Chick
October 12, 2014 at 7:25 amSandy,
Yeah, I only hope the Aarons’ of the world read this. xx
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
Gunmetal Geisha
October 12, 2014 at 12:14 pmI wonder about the trauma such people must have experienced to cause that ugliness in them. But then I think of those who suffer trauma and turn around and do something beautiful with it. Thank goodness for those of you, Kim.
Gunmetal Geisha recently posted..You Probably Think This Post is About You
My Inner Chick
October 12, 2014 at 2:29 pmI agree.
There is Absolutely NO EXCUSE for ugliness.
xx Thx for reading.
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
Lady Jennie
October 13, 2014 at 10:12 amJesus did not accuse the Samaritan woman in John 4. He did not mock her for having had 5 husbands. He did not accuse her for living with a man out of wedlock, though the religious leaders could have stoned her for that. And though the town (which was the undesirable city in the undesirable country of Samaria) rejected her so that she had to go and fetch her water at the well – alone – in the heat of day, Jesus did not reject her. In fact, she was the first person to whom he revealed that he was the Messiah.
Aaron Moon has not understood Jesus’s heart for women. He has not understood Jesus’ heart at all. One day maybe he will.
Lady Jennie recently posted..A Mountain Meeting with God
My Inner Chick
October 13, 2014 at 1:29 pmBeautiful, Jennie.
Once men understand the “heart” of a woman, there will be NO domestic abuse.
xxx
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
Charlene Ross
October 13, 2014 at 3:19 pmOh Kim, when you posted that comment on your FB page I was so sickened by it. I still am now. You handled this beautifully my friend. I will never understand people like Aaron Moon.
My Inner Chick
October 13, 2014 at 3:31 pmHi, Charlene,
even people like Aaron Moon do not understand people like Aaron Moon.
xxx
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
Britton Swingler
October 14, 2014 at 7:14 amHow on earth you managed to handle this with such grace, I have no idea. You are a marvel Kim. <3
Britton Swingler recently posted..Carbon Friendprint
My Inner Chick
October 14, 2014 at 9:16 amMarvel … No!
I wanted to KILL him!
xxx
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
Kristi Campbell
October 14, 2014 at 7:46 pmHolyfuckshitfuckingassholes. That is a word, by the way. I’m so proud of you for responding the way that you did, while also horrified by the dickhead who said what he did. You are such an important voice in the world that women have lived and are living now in the name of your sister. Please keep your voice and your words and your everything. I so appreciate what you are doing. So so much. And also? Fuck that asshat.
Kristi Campbell recently posted..Life, Death and The Sucky Reality of Pet Fish
My Inner Chick
October 14, 2014 at 8:40 pmO’,
I do so very much love love love that word you made up! I shall send it to Webster immediately!
xxxxx Quite Apt.
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
Gary Sidley
October 15, 2014 at 2:00 pmWhat breath-taking arrogance to comment on an issue he clearly knows nothing about. Unless, of course, he is trying to rationalize his own abusive behavior? And what an apt response; powerful yet dignified. I wish you success in your awareness-raising about such an important issue.
Gary Sidley recently posted..A birthday to remember
My Inner Chick
October 16, 2014 at 6:59 amthank you, Gary,
Aaron Moon is his own worst enemy. xx
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
Nikky44
October 15, 2014 at 8:06 pmAaron Moon,
I had 2 great jobs and earned 4 times his salary. I owned an apartment (fully paid) before I got married and deliberatly gave it to him 5 years after getting married. I had 2 cars, he had none. I was never lazy, but I stayed. I stayed for so many reasons. I stayed because i thought it was the right thing to do. I stayed for my kids. I stayed because I loved him and felt sorry for him and didn’t want him to be miserable.
Kim, I read this post so many times and each time got so angry, I couldn’t comment.
Love you <3
My Inner Chick
October 16, 2014 at 6:57 amNikky,
did you know you are an inspiration to others?
You are.
You are beautiful & powerful.
Love you more.
K. xxx
My Inner Chick recently posted..She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave
Anonymous
November 10, 2014 at 12:31 pmWomen stay for all sorts of reasons… I recently posted “Why I Stay” as a guest writer on letmereach.com, another fantastic blog.
For me, it has nothing to do with laziness or materialism. But I do worry about my children’s future. I could live in a cardboard box and make it work, but couldn’t do that to them. Shelter is just one of a hundred reasons.
That writer doesn’t know what it’s like to live with self-doubt and constant anxiety. Most of us have been conditioned to believe we couldn’t possibly make it on our own. Some days I know I could! On darker days I’m not so sure…
My aunt was murdered when she tried to leave. I wonder if the writer ever considered that kind of deep, profound fear. Imagine fearing for your life for just trying to improve it. My husband has firearms in the house. Don’t think I don’t worry about it too. I’ve seen it first hand and even though I don’t believe that is a likely outcome for me, I know there is a remote chance it could end badly. It sickens me and yet I feel paralyzed. My aunt didn’t think it was possible, either.
You’re doing great work with this blog- empowering women, educating, supporting, etc. Sure, you get a bad apple now and then, but the rest of us thank you for sharing your sister’s story and maintaining the site!
Kim | a little lunch
November 11, 2014 at 3:52 amApparently Aaron doesn’t realize how hard full time mothers work. Or how hard she worked to keep the peace. That’s two full time jobs without pay. Lazy? I don’t think so.
6 Early Signs of Domestic Abuse | My Inner Chick
November 22, 2014 at 11:09 am[…] She Was Too Lazy to Leave […]
Sherill
December 8, 2014 at 8:35 pmI am sorry to hear about your sister. Good for you that you are able to be a voice for your sister and say what you have to, to set things straight. Bless you and your family so that you may overcome this tragedy.
Sherill recently posted..6 Ways an Atlanta Career Coach Can Help Get Your Career Started
All Roads Out Of Hell Lead Home | My Inner Chick
December 31, 2014 at 11:35 am[…] She Stayed Becasue She Was Too Lazy To Leave […]