13 Reasons She Stayed


 

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~Don’t judge the women who stay, judge the men who kill them—Kim Sisto Robinson

 

 

        SHE STAYED…

 

 

1. because of the babies.  They needed a father.   He was never a father.

 

2. because she was embarrassed to become a single mother.  She was always a single mother.

 

3.   because she was ashamed of going on welfare.  What about the welfare of her boys?

 

4.   because of her faith.  She wanted to please God.  God isn’t pleased by an abusive marriage.

 

5.   because she didn’t think she could make it on her own.   She could have changed the world.

 

6.   because she didn’t have a college education.  Her murderer liked it that way.

 

7.   because she thought he’d become a better man.   He was never a real man.

 

8.   because she felt sorry for him. We all became part of the problem,  not the solution.

 

9.   because when he called her a no good fucking cunt.  She believed it.

 

10.   because he said nobody else would want her.   He was talking about himself.

 

11.   because he knew how to manipulate her heart into believing his lies. Her beautiful heart was in constant denial.

 

12.  because she was familiar with the dysfunction.   Like an abused dog who still loves its owner.

 

13.   because she thought he’d change.     HE.     NEVER.     CHANGED. 

 

–A NOTE:   In the year before Kay’s murder,  she went back to school and received her phlebotomist degree. She was becoming empowered.  I could see it in her face,  her eyes, her soul.

 

Unfortunately,  her murderer saw this, too.

 

When she decided to leave Mike Peterson the end of May, 2010.   She never made it out the door.  He shot her 3 times in the head.

K.Marie

K.Marie

—-Get Help Today. You are Loved, Cherished, & ValuedDomestic Abuse Hotline1-800-799-7233

Darling,  Reader,  Are you  in an abusive relationship?  If so,  tell somebody. ANYBODY.  There is support and love for you.  Believe it.  Empower yourself TODAY.  xx


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133 Responses to 13 Reasons She Stayed

  1. God damn it!!! It’s not her fault. The verbal abuse and the physical abuse become ‘normal’ for the victim. Then the abuser repents and makes up and promises to change…any person with a heart finds it difficult to turn away. Great post, Kim. This will make so many women in the same situation think twice!
    lisa thomson-The Great Escape… recently posted..Scapegoating in Families-What We Need to KnowMy Profile

    • I hope so, Lisa.
      I wish I could turn back time… xx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..13 Reasons She StayedMy Profile

      • aMom says:

        …and if you could, what would you do? I ask because I am a mother who wants desperately to make her daughter stop believing he will change… a mother who wants to stop counting the bruises when her daughter comes home… a mother who does her best to continue to be supportive while trying to make her daughter understand the danger she is in…

        • Kim Sisto-Robinson says:

          Dear, A Mom,

          What would I do? I would confront him. I would say, “I know what you’re up to. I know you will end up killing her. I know you are NO GOOD for her.”

          I never did.

          I would lie to the police and say he threatened her. He never did, but I would lie about it, so they could’ve put him away somewhere.

          I would have found my sister a safe house. I would have hid her on a desert island.

          I would have … would have… would have…should have.

          but it’s too F*cking late now.

          ((((((( But it’s NOT TOO LATE FOR YOUR DAUGHTER. )))))))))

          A NOTE: HE WILL NOT CHANGE. This I know for sure.

          Please keep me informed.

          Xxx Love from MN.

          • Mark Peterson says:

            Kim, I wish we could sit and talk. Not so much about how Kay died but why. I think what you are doing is very admirable. You are on a mission to stop this problem. It makes me sad though when people see these situations and choose not to intervene.
            We ask ourselves those questions every day, “what if?” Often it’s too late. The only words of comfort that I can offer you are keep your faith in God, always remember Kay and know that you WILL be reunited. Losing a sibling is harder than I can imagine but I have lost many close to me over a short period of time, my parents and my wife within 18 months. I know I will see them again. I only had the chance to meet Kay once but I still remember her vividly and I regret that we never had the chance to meet again. Stay safe and God bless you.

          • Mark,

            I’m so very sorry about your wife.
            It’s amazing how we continue going forward. Right?

            Without GOD, I would have perished & drowned in my own sorrow, tears, wine…

            But I “”know”” Kay and I will meet again. O, this brings JOY))

            I have not read her facebook, but many have told me that her last status was:

            Revelation 21:4 –
            ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed.

            So, she must have known something was going to happen to her.

            Thank you for your lovely comment. x
            My Inner Chick recently posted..10 Lies Abusers Will Tell YouMy Profile

  2. Kim, #6 – “because she didn’t have a college education. Her murderer liked it that way.” – really resonated with me.

    My dearest, darlingest friend was married for 30 years. During that 30th year, she received her degree in education; her teaching certificate. His once-subtle and -occasional verbal abuse amped up, and then he accused her of thinking she was better than him. With head-spinning and heart-crushing swiftness, the marriage dissolved.

    Now, seven years later, she can look back and see with a great degree of clarity how he pinned her down, over and over again, and treated her as less than in most areas of life. Now, she’s a teacher (and a fabulous one, at that) and has developed a remarkable independence alone with a deep understanding that she’s more than; that she matters; that she is making a positive impact on the lives of her students; that she is worthy of…. everything.

    I’m so grateful that she earned that degree, and that he exposed his true nature. I believe she’d be but a shadow of herself at this point, otherwise. xoxoxo

  3. Fancy Ranci says:

    Another beautiful post and tribute to your sister as well as a notice to all those who might be suffering through domestic violence. Keep it up!
    Fancy Ranci recently posted..Favorite Time and DevtionMy Profile

  4. Oh Kim.
    Hurting for you, hurting with you. Hurting with so many people who stay. For complicated, sad, frightened reasons.
    Elephant’s Child recently posted..Out of the Shadows, Into the Light 2014My Profile

  5. As a wedding & events planner & someone whose career in the hospitality industry for well over a decade & worked on somewhere around 300+ weddings, sadly, I can not only see the couples that are not going to make it but worse still, we can see the ones who are in for a life of abuse (& it’s not only the man). These are the weddings that are hardest to work on for me, I imagine it’s just the beginning for the couple, it’s frightening to see Narcissists & those that love them. I’m sorry to learn of your sister.
    anna@shenANNAgans recently posted..The Sibling TagMy Profile

  6. Chris Carter says:

    I hate the power that he had over her. I hate how he stole her from this world. I hate how a mere man could destroy something so deeply beautiful and vital and worthy of life and so much, oh so very much more.

    I so often think of her boys. Are they okay? I worry…
    Chris Carter recently posted..Life Is Too Short…Make Moments MatterMy Profile

    • Dear, Chris,
      her boys all dealt in their own way. Jordan is in medical school (Kay was 18 when she had him) He changed his last name to Sisto… (My dad was his mentor & true father) The other 2 boys are okay…but it’s hard. They adored Kay. Nobody talks about Mike. (the so-called dad) xxxx I appreciate you.
      My Inner Chick recently posted..13 Reasons She StayedMy Profile

  7. Kim…such deep pain in your words. I want to hold you close. There are so many women who need to read your truths…
    Britton Swingler recently posted..Carbon FriendprintMy Profile

  8. I like how you gave an answer to every reason one gives for not leaving. It shows how deceived we are because the reasons for staying are never enough and not worth staying in that situation for. Pride keeps us in bondage just as much as fear. I know because I was there. Another great eye-opening post. Love you so much more than I love my steaks… and I LOOOOOOOOVED my steaks!!
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  9. So strong. So powerful. Every single reason is true for so many women out there existing in a relationship that keeps them trapped and abused. And the consequences are tragic.
    God Bless You Kim for your own inner strength and passion that keeps Kay’s memory alive. You are a light in the darkness Kim and I love you for it. xx
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  10. When I first learned about the cycle used by abusers, so much became clear. It was so much easier to spot it and understand what was going on…except when it’s happening to us. Even the strongest, most intelligent and best armoured people get caught – because we think we will recognize it and would handle it well.

    I got snagged into a verbally abusive relationship, but not for long. Some women rallied, closed in on me and wouldn’t let me out until I made a commitment about how to get myself out of the relationship. They made me detail the plan to them! The biggest shock was hearing from the one who is a psychologist that healing would take 3 times the length of time of abuse. That did it. I left and twenty years later “he” still wants to be my friend. I guess the fact that he’s had a trail of women after me, including one marriage, reminds me that nothing changes – except me. None of his therapy has helped to make him any happier.

    In mentoring women in recovery, I’ve have heard every one of the items on your “because” list. It’s a critical, important and valid warning of how the loved one can be trapped into defeat. One therapist had told one of the women I was coaching how it’s always progressive. She said, “The stronger you are, the harder you’ll be hit. You are too much of a threat.” And that’s exactly what this woman experienced.

    Sad how our fright is focused on the abuser when we also need to be aware of what we aren’t doing for ourselves.
    Amy@SoulDipper recently posted..A Spectacle to Behold – A Pair of Senior SprintersMy Profile

  11. Jann says:

    Amazingly powerful words & post, Kim. I hope this reaches lots and lots of people. And it’s timely too, what with that football “stand by your man” wife defending his abusive self with these same excuses… xxxxx
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  12. I could never judge your sister because I relate to so much of this (especially number 5). I have so many days where I wonder what’s worse: the terrifying feelings of being scared and alone, or being with a cheating bastard who doesn’t love you. I honestly can’t decide because the fear can be so paralyzing.
    Wonderful post, as always.
    Hugs from Florida
    Totally Caroline recently posted..If I could write the ending…My Profile

  13. I fucking hate hate hate the power he had over her but also, I get it, and fear that I have given that self of myself over to people in my past. I know that I have. My last boyfriend, like the seriousness of them because there were others more sweet and kind before my husband, was a little like this. He was never violent toward me physically, but well, he was horrible and I didn’t even know it. This post makes me cry and brings back so many memories for me, and I feel like an asshole for not writing about them. Maybe, maybe, I might be ready to. He never hurt me but I know for a fact that if we’d have continued, that him shooting me would not be that far from reality. I love you for sharing all of this. It needs to be said. Over and over and over again.
    Kristi Campbell recently posted..Life is Way Too Short and What You Do MattersMy Profile

  14. I fucking hate hate hate the power he had over her but also, I get it, and fear that I have given that self of myself over to people in my past. I know that I have. My last boyfriend, like the seriousness of them because there were others more sweet and kind before my husband, was a little like this. He was never violent toward me physically, but well, he was horrible and I didn’t even know it. This post makes me cry and brings back so many memories for me, and I feel like an asshole for not writing about them. Maybe, maybe, I might be ready to. He never hurt me but I know for a fact that if we’d have continued, that him shooting me would not be that far from reality. I love you for sharing all of this. It needs to be said. Over and over and over again.
    Kristi Campbell recently posted..Life is Way Too Short and What You Do MattersMy Profile

  15. Monica says:

    Many of the reasons you give are classic. Thinking he’d become a better man is like thinking you can change him for the better. So sad. Kay had a future. She was on the verge of something great and he robbed her of it all. This is one of your best posts ever, Kim. It really hits home.
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  16. Jodi says:

    I always tell people. “Get a community.” Having a community empowers. There are other people to show you that you are great. That makes you iinitely more ready to leave. It’s the one thing I’ve found that works.
    Jodi recently posted..Three ways to stop feeling lonelyMy Profile

  17. Your words are so powerful! Your sweet sister stayed because of her babies…this is a mother instinct and who could ever judge a mother who wants nothing but to protect her child?
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  18. totsymae1011 says:

    Yes. We must refrain from judgement. I understand more as I read your posts regarding domestic violence. I haven’t walked in these shoes but I better understand the mindset and how the illusion of ‘safe’ feels when others make judgement and that scariness of being ‘out there.’. One always wanna stay for the children and make the family work but as you’ve pointed out, sometimes it’s a solo gig and the women don’t realize how alone they are in the marriage; believing their oppressor. Here’s a post that may be of interest to you.

    http://insanitybytes2.wordpress.com/2014/09/21/confessions-from-the-trailer-park/

    Blessings.
    totsymae1011 recently posted..See, What Happened Was…My Profile

  19. #9
    #9
    #9

    It is the one that is the hardest for anyone to understand. All the other ones, somehow everyone nods their heads and thinks to themselves, yes I understand. But….

    #9

    No one ever understands how any of us ever believe it.

    I love you.
    Valentine Logar recently posted..AnewMy Profile

  20. lisa says:

    Unfortunately, when in this horrible situation, you believe each and every one of these with all your heart.
    I hope many, who are in the same situation sweet Kay was in, read this post, and somehow believe that not one, is a valid reason to stay.

    You are an inspiration, dear Kim. xo.

  21. Dana says:

    It was all about power, wasn’t it? Not love at all. Keep writing, Kim, so that women can take that power for themselves and get OUT. xoxo
    Dana recently posted..Life is too short to be less happyMy Profile

  22. That horrible power that the man believes he has over her, that is what is most sickening – how dare someone believe they have that kind of strength over someone’s individuality?
    Keep honouring her memory Kim!

    Hugs
    Uru
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  23. It’s so easy for some people to judge and I think all of us women believe that we wouldn’t stay ourselves but we never know the circumstances of each person do we? Great post Kim xxx
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  24. Someday, I hope, pray, and work towards a society where we don’t brush off abuse, verbal or otherwise. Man toward woman, man toward man, woman toward man, woman toward woman, adult against child….

    It’s all wrong. I hope Kay’s example will help some women and men recognize themselves, and try something different, because nobody deserves that outcome.
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  25. ladyfi says:

    A powerful post! And this applies to so many women – not all are physically abused, but so many are psychologically dominated and made to fee worthless.
    ladyfi recently posted..Dog daysMy Profile

  26. Kim Gagnon says:

    Love you Kimmy !!

  27. POWERFUL message Kim! I wish the world could read this post!
    Love you my friend.
    Have a beautiful day.
    :-) Mandy xoxoxo
    Mandy – The Complete Book recently posted..Kristy’s Tea Taste TestMy Profile

  28. Susan Casey says:

    Kim,
    You and Kay are doing some of the most important work in this world…helping women to recognize abusive situations and giving them the courage and inspiration to get OUT, before it’s too late. You and Kay are miracles…together you are empowering women. Thank you for making this world better and brighter! I love you!! xoxoxo
    ps. #9 was/is heartbreaking….xo

  29. Sandy Ramsey says:

    This a powerful one, Kim. So many women will relate to this. I know I did….for a relationship in my past and my own daughter’s marriage. You do honor Kay beautifully when you spread this message every day. Keep up the amazing work and I will help you all I can!
    Sandy Ramsey recently posted..What Is Your Self Worth?My Profile

  30. Debbie says:

    Such an important message here and I hope women in similar situations will be helped by this tragic story. My heart goes out to you and your family, Kim ♥ Spreading the message…..
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  31. Marie says:

    When I look at Kay, I feel deep down that she is resting in peace now. She is helping me so much in my every day life, Kim. I feel like she is an angel, protecting me.
    He won’t have let her go. And you would not have been able to do anything about it. That’s the most difficult part of it Kim.
    xxxxxx
    Marie recently posted..Sisterhood LoveMy Profile

  32. Its crazy, because we know what happened so somehow I always wish we could go back somehow, and re-run the events and simply pull her away from there. even now the waste and tragedy of it all seems so overwhelming to those who know you, and have met her in a sense through your vibrant words
    countingducks recently posted..Born Surplus To RequirementsMy Profile

  33. My heart goes out to you. It can be so so difficult to leave an abusive relationship. I am glad you are spreading awareness of domestic abuse and helping people out. You are making a difference.
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  34. Pat says:

    I got goosebumps reading this one. Wow, Kim, so well said! I wish every woman who is being abused could read this post. It is right on the mark , as is your quote. Keep up the good work. I’m sure Kay is incredibly proud of you. We need voices like yours so badly in the world today.

  35. dad says:

    Thanks, Kim for your 13 reasons. I couldn’t agree more. You and Kay are helping so
    many women who are in the same predicament that Kay was, who are now speaking out.

    Love You So Much
    Dad

  36. Trisha says:

    Great post Kim, especially in light of the NFL’s Rice news- I have been so upset over people blaming the wife with the most disgusting words that I have for the first time ever “un-friended” people. It is always so easy to judge from the outside.

  37. It drives me insane when people simplify domestic violence by saying “Why did she stay?” As if it was something easy to leave this kind of abusive relationship… All of these reasons are so true but number 10, soooo true. These type of individuals reflect their own pathetic lives on their victims.
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  38. Hotly Spiced says:

    You explain it so well. She was definitely empowered and her self-esteem must have been rising and she was on her way. I’m so pleased she finished her degree. Good for her to get it done while being so abused. The photo of her as a baby is just adorable xx
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  39. Alison says:

    I thank the Universe for your voice, for the women like Kay who can’t find theirs.
    Love you. xoxo
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  40. Liz says:

    Ugh, too bad he’s not rotting in jail. He took the coward’s way out. I hope this list hits home to at least one woman suffering from abuse. Your words will and have helped others. Bless you, my friend.
    Liz recently posted..Oatmeal Creme PiesMy Profile

  41. elizabeth says:

    My dear Kim,

    you are changing the world one blog at a time. keep writing for all of us who lost loved ones because the man they married never understood love, just the abuse of power.

    love you.
    elizabeth xoxo

  42. Oh gosh Kim, your words scream true. Do I ever know what Kay went through. I’m so glad to be free and be me! I always tell women to look at the domestic violence wheel. when they are questioning the relationship they are in.

    Do you know how much I appreciate you?

    Kay in in a good place. And I know she is pleased with you too.

    Sincerely,

    Little Chickie

  43. Number 9. I can’t get over number 9. I don’t even have the words to deacribe how my heart breaks for these words. Thank you for speaking out. Grrl, you know it takes a certain person to speak truth when people don’t understand. You have courage beyond belief. Love you. Xoxo
    wild Child Mama recently posted..“No” means “prove it.” I never said yes. Rape Culture.My Profile

  44. Nikky44 says:

    I stayed for one reason. I love him. I left to save my kids.
    Nikky44 recently posted..I challenged the FearMy Profile

  45. Alice says:

    As always Kim, I know that your blog is serving an important purpose in reaching out to your fellow sisters and women in this world, to let them know that Domestic Vilemce, bullying and any kind of intimidation isn’t right.

    It takes a lot of courage to write these words and I hope one day they’ll reach someone who needs them and set them free! Much love as always, for being an inspiration. Xoxo
    Alice recently posted..Flourless Chocolate CakeMy Profile

  46. One of your most powerful posts, Kimmy. The way you’ve distilled it to the bare bones, laid it out for every woman and man to see the insidious mechanism. The work you’re doing here is priceless. All my love and admiration xx
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  47. Sandra says:

    You are educating the world Kim, thank you!

  48. Jane Thrive says:

    I am so so so sorry about what happened to your sister. I got out of an abusive marriage that was escalating in violence and while “safer,” I remain vigilant. I just discovered this post via google plus and I just wanted to send you prayers. i hope your words have reached out to others and have helped them. <3
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  49. Keep shouting this from the rooftops Kim! It is such an important message. Get help if you are in an abusive relationship! xxx
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  50. Debbie says:

    Very profound, Kim. Keep shouting your sister’s story, for you might never know how many women you save by doing so! xoxox from Illinois
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  51. Jeri says:

    Another powerful post. I often wonder why my grandparents stayed together, but I guess I will never know. They fought like cats and dogs until the bitter end, but at least it was a natural end.
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  52. The story never gets any easier to read, and my thoughts are always with you
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  53. I’ve missed you! Your posts are so powerful; they never fail to move me. Thank you.
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  54. TheKitchenLioness says:

    Dear Kim, another powerful post, another powerful list of reasons…or reminders, pointers, markers…
    As I always do when I read your writing, I am grateful for knowing your blog and starting to know you through your writing and I will carry your thougts in my heart as I go about my day today, tomorrow and the days after…
    Thank you so much for sharing and being such an important part of my life as well – I am proud of everything you do (may I write that…?)!
    Love,
    Andrea

  55. Hilary says:

    I don’t have any words… I hate that he made her feel that way… I hate what he did to her, to you to all of your family….
    Hilary recently posted..It’s party time!!!My Profile

  56. Strong words and all of them sadly true, Kim. I always pray that your words will empower women in Kay’s situation to leave before it’s too late.
    Sending you all my love. ♥
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  57. oh my goodness. . I am so moved by this post. . thank you for sharing this and for being an advocate for your dear friend.
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  59. Kim, I love how you’ve said your sister’s voice speaks through you. Yes she does and what an amazing, empowering, strong post this is. Every one of those reasons is a valid one in the eyes of those who stay. For those who want to leave… May they read your words, may they find strength, may they rise up and stand tall. They do hear you dear friend. I hear you!
    xxx
    Meditating mummy recently posted..Book Review: The Book of Life by Deborah HarknessMy Profile

  60. Bella says:

    Kim, this post has served to clarify the many reasons women remain in abusive relationships. Your words open our eyes to reasons women stay. Sadly, when people don’t have the facts, they are quick to judge and criticize. Apathy and ignorance prompt people to reach conclusions without truly knowing what happens to those living in a toxic and harmful environment. Your words showcase what goes through the mind of the victim and why she remains put. Fear and hope hold many women captive; controlled by the abuser. As a society, we need to create awareness, educate, and provide assistance for anyone who is living in such tragic circumstances. May your words continue to enlighten us, my friend!

  61. I don’t have the words to articulate how this subject makes me feel. But I admire how you do, and so eloquently.
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  62. lynne says:

    This article serves as an open reminder to all women who are going through the same ordeal , hoping that things will change…. but it never did, the reasons are all valid and very enlightening. Thanks for sharing. Great Post.
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  63. Leann says:

    I can identify with so many of these reasons but #9-12 were why I stayed. Thank you for sharing what so many just don’t understand. My heart aches for you and for your sister.

  64. Andy says:

    My loving daughter Michelle is in a bad controlled marriage but she has moved out and he is still controlling and still is living in fear. She has no community to help her. Her only so called friends were wives of the men he allowed her to associate with. Now separated they don’t want to be friends. He will not allow her to visit her dad and is not allowed to go any place without his company or permission.he is fighting for custody of a 9 year old girl so he will not have to pay child support. He has choked her and hit her in front if his friends and has instilled fear in her. She read these 13 reasons and OMG it is him all over. She is working and struggling through all thus. Hebtext all nitebwhen he has his daughter and calls her often always putting her down and acussing her of made up things. I pray she makes it through alive. He is so much worse than what I have said here . Kay was a blessing for my Michelle.
    Thanks

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