In Memory of Kay

13 Reasons She Stayed



~Don’t judge the women who stay, judge the men who kill them—Kim Sisto Robinson



        SHE STAYED…



1. because of the babies.  They needed a father.   He was never a father.


2. because she was embarrassed to become a single mother.  She was always a single mother.


3.   because she was ashamed of going on welfare.  What about the welfare of her boys?


4.   because of her faith.  She wanted to please God.  God isn’t pleased by an abusive marriage.


5.   because she didn’t think she could make it on her own.   She could have changed the world.


6.   because she didn’t have a college education.  Her murderer liked it that way.


7.   because she thought he’d become a better man.   He was never a real man.


8.   because she felt sorry for him. We all became part of the problem,  not the solution.


9.   because when he called her a no good fucking cunt.  She believed it.


10.   because he said nobody else would want her.   He was talking about himself.


11.   because he knew how to manipulate her heart into believing his lies. Her beautiful heart was in constant denial.


12.  because she was familiar with the dysfunction.   Like an abused dog who still loves its owner.


13.   because she thought he’d change.     HE.     NEVER.     CHANGED. 


–A NOTE:   In the year before Kay’s murder,  she went back to school and received her phlebotomist degree. She was becoming empowered.  I could see it in her face,  her eyes, her soul.


Unfortunately,  her murderer saw this, too.


When she decided to leave Mike Peterson the end of May, 2010.   She never made it out the door.  He shot her 3 times in the head.



—-Get Help Today. You are Loved, Cherished, & ValuedDomestic Abuse Hotline1-800-799-7233

Darling,  Reader,  Are you  in an abusive relationship?  If so,  tell somebody. ANYBODY.  There is support and love for you.  Believe it.  Empower yourself TODAY.  xx

Subscribe To My Inner Chick

Never miss an update!

You have Successfully Subscribed!

You Might Also Like


  • Reply
    lisa thomson-The Great Escape...
    September 20, 2014 at 9:05 am

    God damn it!!! It’s not her fault. The verbal abuse and the physical abuse become ‘normal’ for the victim. Then the abuser repents and makes up and promises to change…any person with a heart finds it difficult to turn away. Great post, Kim. This will make so many women in the same situation think twice!
    lisa thomson-The Great Escape… recently posted..Scapegoating in Families-What We Need to KnowMy Profile

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      September 21, 2014 at 12:37 pm

      I hope so, Lisa.
      I wish I could turn back time… xx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..13 Reasons She StayedMy Profile

      • Reply
        December 5, 2014 at 9:25 am

        …and if you could, what would you do? I ask because I am a mother who wants desperately to make her daughter stop believing he will change… a mother who wants to stop counting the bruises when her daughter comes home… a mother who does her best to continue to be supportive while trying to make her daughter understand the danger she is in…

        • Reply
          Kim Sisto-Robinson
          December 5, 2014 at 1:48 pm

          Dear, A Mom,

          What would I do? I would confront him. I would say, “I know what you’re up to. I know you will end up killing her. I know you are NO GOOD for her.”

          I never did.

          I would lie to the police and say he threatened her. He never did, but I would lie about it, so they could’ve put him away somewhere.

          I would have found my sister a safe house. I would have hid her on a desert island.

          I would have … would have… would have…should have.

          but it’s too F*cking late now.

          ((((((( But it’s NOT TOO LATE FOR YOUR DAUGHTER. )))))))))

          A NOTE: HE WILL NOT CHANGE. This I know for sure.

          Please keep me informed.

          Xxx Love from MN.

          • Mark Peterson
            March 28, 2015 at 11:47 pm

            Kim, I wish we could sit and talk. Not so much about how Kay died but why. I think what you are doing is very admirable. You are on a mission to stop this problem. It makes me sad though when people see these situations and choose not to intervene.
            We ask ourselves those questions every day, “what if?” Often it’s too late. The only words of comfort that I can offer you are keep your faith in God, always remember Kay and know that you WILL be reunited. Losing a sibling is harder than I can imagine but I have lost many close to me over a short period of time, my parents and my wife within 18 months. I know I will see them again. I only had the chance to meet Kay once but I still remember her vividly and I regret that we never had the chance to meet again. Stay safe and God bless you.

          • My Inner Chick
            March 29, 2015 at 7:15 am


            I’m so very sorry about your wife.
            It’s amazing how we continue going forward. Right?

            Without GOD, I would have perished & drowned in my own sorrow, tears, wine…

            But I “”know”” Kay and I will meet again. O, this brings JOY))

            I have not read her facebook, but many have told me that her last status was:

            Revelation 21:4 –
            ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed.

            So, she must have known something was going to happen to her.

            Thank you for your lovely comment. x
            My Inner Chick recently posted..10 Lies Abusers Will Tell YouMy Profile

  • Reply
    Ellen M. Gregg
    September 20, 2014 at 9:43 am

    Kim, #6 – “because she didn’t have a college education. Her murderer liked it that way.” – really resonated with me.

    My dearest, darlingest friend was married for 30 years. During that 30th year, she received her degree in education; her teaching certificate. His once-subtle and -occasional verbal abuse amped up, and then he accused her of thinking she was better than him. With head-spinning and heart-crushing swiftness, the marriage dissolved.

    Now, seven years later, she can look back and see with a great degree of clarity how he pinned her down, over and over again, and treated her as less than in most areas of life. Now, she’s a teacher (and a fabulous one, at that) and has developed a remarkable independence alone with a deep understanding that she’s more than; that she matters; that she is making a positive impact on the lives of her students; that she is worthy of…. everything.

    I’m so grateful that she earned that degree, and that he exposed his true nature. I believe she’d be but a shadow of herself at this point, otherwise. xoxoxo

  • Reply
    Fancy Ranci
    September 20, 2014 at 10:15 am

    Another beautiful post and tribute to your sister as well as a notice to all those who might be suffering through domestic violence. Keep it up!
    Fancy Ranci recently posted..Favorite Time and DevtionMy Profile

  • Reply
    Elephant's Child
    September 20, 2014 at 1:07 pm

    Oh Kim.
    Hurting for you, hurting with you. Hurting with so many people who stay. For complicated, sad, frightened reasons.
    Elephant’s Child recently posted..Out of the Shadows, Into the Light 2014My Profile

  • Reply
    September 20, 2014 at 1:42 pm

    As a wedding & events planner & someone whose career in the hospitality industry for well over a decade & worked on somewhere around 300+ weddings, sadly, I can not only see the couples that are not going to make it but worse still, we can see the ones who are in for a life of abuse (& it’s not only the man). These are the weddings that are hardest to work on for me, I imagine it’s just the beginning for the couple, it’s frightening to see Narcissists & those that love them. I’m sorry to learn of your sister.
    anna@shenANNAgans recently posted..The Sibling TagMy Profile

  • Reply
    Chris Carter
    September 20, 2014 at 2:56 pm

    I hate the power that he had over her. I hate how he stole her from this world. I hate how a mere man could destroy something so deeply beautiful and vital and worthy of life and so much, oh so very much more.

    I so often think of her boys. Are they okay? I worry…
    Chris Carter recently posted..Life Is Too Short…Make Moments MatterMy Profile

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      September 21, 2014 at 12:43 pm

      Dear, Chris,
      her boys all dealt in their own way. Jordan is in medical school (Kay was 18 when she had him) He changed his last name to Sisto… (My dad was his mentor & true father) The other 2 boys are okay…but it’s hard. They adored Kay. Nobody talks about Mike. (the so-called dad) xxxx I appreciate you.
      My Inner Chick recently posted..13 Reasons She StayedMy Profile

  • Reply
    Britton Swingler
    September 20, 2014 at 3:13 pm

    Kim…such deep pain in your words. I want to hold you close. There are so many women who need to read your truths…
    Britton Swingler recently posted..Carbon FriendprintMy Profile

  • Reply
    nan @ lbddiaries
    September 20, 2014 at 3:15 pm

    I like how you gave an answer to every reason one gives for not leaving. It shows how deceived we are because the reasons for staying are never enough and not worth staying in that situation for. Pride keeps us in bondage just as much as fear. I know because I was there. Another great eye-opening post. Love you so much more than I love my steaks… and I LOOOOOOOOVED my steaks!!
    nan @ lbddiaries recently posted..The Power of TouchMy Profile

  • Reply
    Carolyn Hughes
    September 20, 2014 at 3:19 pm

    So strong. So powerful. Every single reason is true for so many women out there existing in a relationship that keeps them trapped and abused. And the consequences are tragic.
    God Bless You Kim for your own inner strength and passion that keeps Kay’s memory alive. You are a light in the darkness Kim and I love you for it. xx
    Carolyn Hughes recently posted..Dear MumMy Profile

  • Reply
    September 20, 2014 at 3:24 pm

    When I first learned about the cycle used by abusers, so much became clear. It was so much easier to spot it and understand what was going on…except when it’s happening to us. Even the strongest, most intelligent and best armoured people get caught – because we think we will recognize it and would handle it well.

    I got snagged into a verbally abusive relationship, but not for long. Some women rallied, closed in on me and wouldn’t let me out until I made a commitment about how to get myself out of the relationship. They made me detail the plan to them! The biggest shock was hearing from the one who is a psychologist that healing would take 3 times the length of time of abuse. That did it. I left and twenty years later “he” still wants to be my friend. I guess the fact that he’s had a trail of women after me, including one marriage, reminds me that nothing changes – except me. None of his therapy has helped to make him any happier.

    In mentoring women in recovery, I’ve have heard every one of the items on your “because” list. It’s a critical, important and valid warning of how the loved one can be trapped into defeat. One therapist had told one of the women I was coaching how it’s always progressive. She said, “The stronger you are, the harder you’ll be hit. You are too much of a threat.” And that’s exactly what this woman experienced.

    Sad how our fright is focused on the abuser when we also need to be aware of what we aren’t doing for ourselves.
    Amy@SoulDipper recently posted..A Spectacle to Behold – A Pair of Senior SprintersMy Profile

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      September 21, 2014 at 12:52 pm

      thank you for your insightful words.
      Kay was hit with the tongue…and in the end, bullets.
      He would have NEVER let her go.

      My Inner Chick recently posted..13 Reasons She StayedMy Profile

  • Reply
    September 20, 2014 at 4:01 pm

    Amazingly powerful words & post, Kim. I hope this reaches lots and lots of people. And it’s timely too, what with that football “stand by your man” wife defending his abusive self with these same excuses… xxxxx
    Jann recently posted..Comment on Summer’s End by lisa | renovatingitalyMy Profile

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      September 21, 2014 at 4:24 pm

      I do, too.
      The thing is, Kay would have never imagined this blog would pertain to her.

      xx Kiss from MN.
      My Inner Chick recently posted..13 Reasons She StayedMy Profile

  • Reply
    Totally Caroline
    September 20, 2014 at 4:46 pm

    I could never judge your sister because I relate to so much of this (especially number 5). I have so many days where I wonder what’s worse: the terrifying feelings of being scared and alone, or being with a cheating bastard who doesn’t love you. I honestly can’t decide because the fear can be so paralyzing.
    Wonderful post, as always.
    Hugs from Florida
    Totally Caroline recently posted..If I could write the ending…My Profile

  • Reply
    Kristi Campbell
    September 20, 2014 at 7:52 pm

    I fucking hate hate hate the power he had over her but also, I get it, and fear that I have given that self of myself over to people in my past. I know that I have. My last boyfriend, like the seriousness of them because there were others more sweet and kind before my husband, was a little like this. He was never violent toward me physically, but well, he was horrible and I didn’t even know it. This post makes me cry and brings back so many memories for me, and I feel like an asshole for not writing about them. Maybe, maybe, I might be ready to. He never hurt me but I know for a fact that if we’d have continued, that him shooting me would not be that far from reality. I love you for sharing all of this. It needs to be said. Over and over and over again.
    Kristi Campbell recently posted..Life is Way Too Short and What You Do MattersMy Profile

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      September 21, 2014 at 4:26 pm

      you’re NOT an asshole.
      If you decide to write about it, you will. If not, you will not.
      xxx KISS from me.
      My Inner Chick recently posted..13 Reasons She StayedMy Profile

  • Reply
    Kristi Campbell
    September 20, 2014 at 7:52 pm

    I fucking hate hate hate the power he had over her but also, I get it, and fear that I have given that self of myself over to people in my past. I know that I have. My last boyfriend, like the seriousness of them because there were others more sweet and kind before my husband, was a little like this. He was never violent toward me physically, but well, he was horrible and I didn’t even know it. This post makes me cry and brings back so many memories for me, and I feel like an asshole for not writing about them. Maybe, maybe, I might be ready to. He never hurt me but I know for a fact that if we’d have continued, that him shooting me would not be that far from reality. I love you for sharing all of this. It needs to be said. Over and over and over again.
    Kristi Campbell recently posted..Life is Way Too Short and What You Do MattersMy Profile

  • Reply
    September 20, 2014 at 10:34 pm

    Many of the reasons you give are classic. Thinking he’d become a better man is like thinking you can change him for the better. So sad. Kay had a future. She was on the verge of something great and he robbed her of it all. This is one of your best posts ever, Kim. It really hits home.
    Monica recently posted..The Pianist of Willesden Lane Uses Music to Cope with Tragedy of WarMy Profile

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      September 21, 2014 at 4:28 pm

      we ALL thought he’d change. Many, Many times.
      I believe this is one of the greatest lessons I’ve learned since Kay’s murder.
      PEOPLE DO NOT change unless they WANT to. You cannot make them.
      xxx LOVE to you.
      My Inner Chick recently posted..13 Reasons She StayedMy Profile

  • Reply
    September 21, 2014 at 6:13 am

    I always tell people. “Get a community.” Having a community empowers. There are other people to show you that you are great. That makes you iinitely more ready to leave. It’s the one thing I’ve found that works.
    Jodi recently posted..Three ways to stop feeling lonelyMy Profile

  • Reply
    Angie@Angie's Recipes
    September 21, 2014 at 6:16 am

    Your words are so powerful! Your sweet sister stayed because of her babies…this is a mother instinct and who could ever judge a mother who wants nothing but to protect her child?
    Angie@Angie’s Recipes recently posted..Fresh Fig Freekeh Chai Bread (Dairy Free, Egg Free, Vegan)My Profile

  • Reply
    September 21, 2014 at 8:48 am

    Yes. We must refrain from judgement. I understand more as I read your posts regarding domestic violence. I haven’t walked in these shoes but I better understand the mindset and how the illusion of ‘safe’ feels when others make judgement and that scariness of being ‘out there.’. One always wanna stay for the children and make the family work but as you’ve pointed out, sometimes it’s a solo gig and the women don’t realize how alone they are in the marriage; believing their oppressor. Here’s a post that may be of interest to you.

    totsymae1011 recently posted..See, What Happened Was…My Profile

  • Reply
    Valentine Logar
    September 21, 2014 at 8:51 am


    It is the one that is the hardest for anyone to understand. All the other ones, somehow everyone nods their heads and thinks to themselves, yes I understand. But….


    No one ever understands how any of us ever believe it.

    I love you.
    Valentine Logar recently posted..AnewMy Profile

  • Reply
    September 21, 2014 at 2:49 pm

    Unfortunately, when in this horrible situation, you believe each and every one of these with all your heart.
    I hope many, who are in the same situation sweet Kay was in, read this post, and somehow believe that not one, is a valid reason to stay.

    You are an inspiration, dear Kim. xo.

  • Reply
    September 21, 2014 at 4:49 pm

    It was all about power, wasn’t it? Not love at all. Keep writing, Kim, so that women can take that power for themselves and get OUT. xoxo
    Dana recently posted..Life is too short to be less happyMy Profile

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      September 21, 2014 at 8:17 pm

      when his sister talked on the news, she said, “This is not Love.”

      NO. Love should NEVER hurt.

      My Inner Chick recently posted..13 Reasons She StayedMy Profile

  • Reply
    Choc Chip Uru
    September 21, 2014 at 6:25 pm

    That horrible power that the man believes he has over her, that is what is most sickening – how dare someone believe they have that kind of strength over someone’s individuality?
    Keep honouring her memory Kim!

    Choc Chip Uru recently posted..CCU Undercover: Wild Pear CafeMy Profile

  • Reply
    Lorraine @ Not Quite Nigella
    September 21, 2014 at 6:58 pm

    It’s so easy for some people to judge and I think all of us women believe that we wouldn’t stay ourselves but we never know the circumstances of each person do we? Great post Kim xxx
    Lorraine @ Not Quite Nigella recently posted..My Mother’s Mee Siam Noodles RecipeMy Profile

  • Reply
    Beverly Diehl
    September 21, 2014 at 7:01 pm

    Someday, I hope, pray, and work towards a society where we don’t brush off abuse, verbal or otherwise. Man toward woman, man toward man, woman toward man, woman toward woman, adult against child….

    It’s all wrong. I hope Kay’s example will help some women and men recognize themselves, and try something different, because nobody deserves that outcome.
    Beverly Diehl recently posted..Celebrating A #ToriAmos #MusicGiveawayMy Profile

  • Reply
    September 21, 2014 at 8:29 pm

    A powerful post! And this applies to so many women – not all are physically abused, but so many are psychologically dominated and made to fee worthless.
    ladyfi recently posted..Dog daysMy Profile

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      September 21, 2014 at 9:23 pm

      —-psychological and verbal is abuse. I never really knew this until after Kay’s murder.

      Somebody once told me that her partner did not hit her….I said, “Yes, he does. His words are fists.”

      xx Kiss Oscar for me.
      My Inner Chick recently posted..13 Reasons She StayedMy Profile

  • Reply
    Kim Gagnon
    September 21, 2014 at 8:50 pm

    Love you Kimmy !!

  • Reply
    Mandy - The Complete Book
    September 22, 2014 at 4:49 am

    POWERFUL message Kim! I wish the world could read this post!
    Love you my friend.
    Have a beautiful day.
    🙂 Mandy xoxoxo
    Mandy – The Complete Book recently posted..Kristy’s Tea Taste TestMy Profile

  • Reply
    Susan Casey
    September 22, 2014 at 6:33 am

    You and Kay are doing some of the most important work in this world…helping women to recognize abusive situations and giving them the courage and inspiration to get OUT, before it’s too late. You and Kay are miracles…together you are empowering women. Thank you for making this world better and brighter! I love you!! xoxoxo
    ps. #9 was/is heartbreaking….xo

  • Reply
    Sandy Ramsey
    September 22, 2014 at 6:38 am

    This a powerful one, Kim. So many women will relate to this. I know I did….for a relationship in my past and my own daughter’s marriage. You do honor Kay beautifully when you spread this message every day. Keep up the amazing work and I will help you all I can!
    Sandy Ramsey recently posted..What Is Your Self Worth?My Profile

  • Reply
    September 22, 2014 at 7:48 am

    Such an important message here and I hope women in similar situations will be helped by this tragic story. My heart goes out to you and your family, Kim ♥ Spreading the message…..
    Debbie recently posted..HOME – PHOTO FRIDAYMy Profile

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      September 22, 2014 at 12:42 pm

      thank you so much for spreading the word about domestic abuse. Our VOICES together can change the F*cking world. xx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..13 Reasons She StayedMy Profile

  • Reply
    September 22, 2014 at 8:38 am

    When I look at Kay, I feel deep down that she is resting in peace now. She is helping me so much in my every day life, Kim. I feel like she is an angel, protecting me.
    He won’t have let her go. And you would not have been able to do anything about it. That’s the most difficult part of it Kim.
    Marie recently posted..Sisterhood LoveMy Profile

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      September 22, 2014 at 12:44 pm

      I believe in God.
      I believe in Angels.
      I believe Kay is rising from the grave.
      I believe God has great plans for your life. xxxxx LOVE from MN.
      My Inner Chick recently posted..13 Reasons She StayedMy Profile

  • Reply
    September 22, 2014 at 12:30 pm

    Its crazy, because we know what happened so somehow I always wish we could go back somehow, and re-run the events and simply pull her away from there. even now the waste and tragedy of it all seems so overwhelming to those who know you, and have met her in a sense through your vibrant words
    countingducks recently posted..Born Surplus To RequirementsMy Profile

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      September 22, 2014 at 12:45 pm

      your support has been priceless. Thank you, dear. xxxx

  • Reply
    Sebastian Aiden Daniels
    September 22, 2014 at 1:11 pm

    My heart goes out to you. It can be so so difficult to leave an abusive relationship. I am glad you are spreading awareness of domestic abuse and helping people out. You are making a difference.
    Sebastian Aiden Daniels recently posted..3 Things I Learned From A Self Proclaimed PsychopathMy Profile

  • Reply
    September 22, 2014 at 1:26 pm

    I got goosebumps reading this one. Wow, Kim, so well said! I wish every woman who is being abused could read this post. It is right on the mark , as is your quote. Keep up the good work. I’m sure Kay is incredibly proud of you. We need voices like yours so badly in the world today.

  • Reply
    September 22, 2014 at 1:44 pm

    Thanks, Kim for your 13 reasons. I couldn’t agree more. You and Kay are helping so
    many women who are in the same predicament that Kay was, who are now speaking out.

    Love You So Much

  • Reply
    September 22, 2014 at 5:47 pm

    Great post Kim, especially in light of the NFL’s Rice news- I have been so upset over people blaming the wife with the most disgusting words that I have for the first time ever “un-friended” people. It is always so easy to judge from the outside.

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      September 22, 2014 at 6:48 pm

      I know.
      I’ve heard some idiotic things from blogs, facebook, and even co-workers.
      People must be educated. You know? They can be quite ignorant.
      My Inner Chick recently posted..13 Reasons She StayedMy Profile

  • Reply
    Rita @ The Crafty Expat
    September 22, 2014 at 8:28 pm

    It drives me insane when people simplify domestic violence by saying “Why did she stay?” As if it was something easy to leave this kind of abusive relationship… All of these reasons are so true but number 10, soooo true. These type of individuals reflect their own pathetic lives on their victims.
    Rita @ The Crafty Expat recently posted..Australian Women Writers Challenge 2014 – Book of Lost ThreadsMy Profile

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      September 22, 2014 at 9:24 pm

      definitely, he projected his pathetic existence on Kay. What a shame. xx Thanks for reading, dear.
      My Inner Chick recently posted..13 Reasons She StayedMy Profile

  • Reply
    Hotly Spiced
    September 22, 2014 at 8:58 pm

    You explain it so well. She was definitely empowered and her self-esteem must have been rising and she was on her way. I’m so pleased she finished her degree. Good for her to get it done while being so abused. The photo of her as a baby is just adorable xx
    Hotly Spiced recently posted..The James Craig Tall ShipMy Profile

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      September 22, 2014 at 9:25 pm

      I know, Charlie,
      Those eyes. Those beautiful, innocent brown eyes.
      I get emotional looking at that photo wondering what could have been… xx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..13 Reasons She StayedMy Profile

  • Reply
    September 23, 2014 at 12:44 am

    I thank the Universe for your voice, for the women like Kay who can’t find theirs.
    Love you. xoxo
    Alison recently posted..50 Questions (Because I Need Something Easy To Do)My Profile

  • Reply
    September 23, 2014 at 4:06 am

    Ugh, too bad he’s not rotting in jail. He took the coward’s way out. I hope this list hits home to at least one woman suffering from abuse. Your words will and have helped others. Bless you, my friend.
    Liz recently posted..Oatmeal Creme PiesMy Profile

  • Reply
    September 23, 2014 at 1:05 pm

    My dear Kim,

    you are changing the world one blog at a time. keep writing for all of us who lost loved ones because the man they married never understood love, just the abuse of power.

    love you.
    elizabeth xoxo

  • Reply
    Annette Molitor
    September 23, 2014 at 1:44 pm

    Oh gosh Kim, your words scream true. Do I ever know what Kay went through. I’m so glad to be free and be me! I always tell women to look at the domestic violence wheel. when they are questioning the relationship they are in.

    Do you know how much I appreciate you?

    Kay in in a good place. And I know she is pleased with you too.


    Little Chickie

  • Reply
    wild Child Mama
    September 23, 2014 at 8:16 pm

    Number 9. I can’t get over number 9. I don’t even have the words to deacribe how my heart breaks for these words. Thank you for speaking out. Grrl, you know it takes a certain person to speak truth when people don’t understand. You have courage beyond belief. Love you. Xoxo
    wild Child Mama recently posted..“No” means “prove it.” I never said yes. Rape Culture.My Profile

  • Reply
    September 24, 2014 at 6:16 pm

    I stayed for one reason. I love him. I left to save my kids.
    Nikky44 recently posted..I challenged the FearMy Profile

  • Reply
    September 24, 2014 at 9:41 pm

    As always Kim, I know that your blog is serving an important purpose in reaching out to your fellow sisters and women in this world, to let them know that Domestic Vilemce, bullying and any kind of intimidation isn’t right.

    It takes a lot of courage to write these words and I hope one day they’ll reach someone who needs them and set them free! Much love as always, for being an inspiration. Xoxo
    Alice recently posted..Flourless Chocolate CakeMy Profile

  • Reply
    September 25, 2014 at 5:06 pm

    One of your most powerful posts, Kimmy. The way you’ve distilled it to the bare bones, laid it out for every woman and man to see the insidious mechanism. The work you’re doing here is priceless. All my love and admiration xx
    solidgoldcreativity recently posted..Note about trollingMy Profile

  • Reply
    September 29, 2014 at 2:33 pm

    You are educating the world Kim, thank you!

  • Reply
    Jane Thrive
    September 29, 2014 at 4:21 pm

    I am so so so sorry about what happened to your sister. I got out of an abusive marriage that was escalating in violence and while “safer,” I remain vigilant. I just discovered this post via google plus and I just wanted to send you prayers. i hope your words have reached out to others and have helped them. <3
    Jane Thrive recently posted..Missing my two heartsMy Profile

  • Reply
    Lorraine @ Not Quite Nigella
    September 30, 2014 at 5:11 am

    Keep shouting this from the rooftops Kim! It is such an important message. Get help if you are in an abusive relationship! xxx
    Lorraine @ Not Quite Nigella recently posted..The Crazy Energy Ball Croquembouche & Three Energy Ball Recipes!My Profile

  • Reply
    September 30, 2014 at 11:41 am

    Very profound, Kim. Keep shouting your sister’s story, for you might never know how many women you save by doing so! xoxox from Illinois
    Debbie recently posted..Aging Parents — Part 1My Profile

  • Reply
    September 30, 2014 at 3:48 pm

    Another powerful post. I often wonder why my grandparents stayed together, but I guess I will never know. They fought like cats and dogs until the bitter end, but at least it was a natural end.
    Jeri recently posted..#Publishing: 6 Hot Trends in Indie Book MarketingMy Profile

  • Reply
    October 1, 2014 at 5:07 am

    The story never gets any easier to read, and my thoughts are always with you
    countingducks recently posted..Is it “Van Go” or “Van Golf”My Profile

  • Reply
    Ms. CrankyPants
    October 1, 2014 at 8:04 am

    I’ve missed you! Your posts are so powerful; they never fail to move me. Thank you.
    Ms. CrankyPants recently posted..I Was Abducted By Aliens, Which SuckedMy Profile

  • Reply
    October 2, 2014 at 12:37 am

    Dear Kim, another powerful post, another powerful list of reasons…or reminders, pointers, markers…
    As I always do when I read your writing, I am grateful for knowing your blog and starting to know you through your writing and I will carry your thougts in my heart as I go about my day today, tomorrow and the days after…
    Thank you so much for sharing and being such an important part of my life as well – I am proud of everything you do (may I write that…?)!

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      October 2, 2014 at 5:22 am

      your blog has been such a wonderful escapism for me. Thank you, dear, for all of your lush creations. xxx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..13 Reasons She StayedMy Profile

  • Reply
    October 2, 2014 at 4:09 am

    I don’t have any words… I hate that he made her feel that way… I hate what he did to her, to you to all of your family….
    Hilary recently posted..It’s party time!!!My Profile

  • Reply
    Corinne Rodrigues
    October 3, 2014 at 7:35 am

    Strong words and all of them sadly true, Kim. I always pray that your words will empower women in Kay’s situation to leave before it’s too late.
    Sending you all my love. ♥
    Corinne Rodrigues recently posted..Create Your Own Sacred SpaceMy Profile

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      October 3, 2014 at 9:03 am

      I do, too.
      Kay rises from the grave…I am her voice.
      My prayer is that somebody HEARS))) xxx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..13 Reasons She StayedMy Profile

  • Reply
    Alice @ Hip Foodie Mom
    October 3, 2014 at 6:14 pm

    oh my goodness. . I am so moved by this post. . thank you for sharing this and for being an advocate for your dear friend.
    Alice @ Hip Foodie Mom recently posted..Baked Veggie TaquitosMy Profile

  • Reply
    She Stayed Because She Was Too Lazy To Leave | My Inner Chick
    October 5, 2014 at 8:45 am

    […] left a comment on my blog post, 13 Reasons She Stayed,  which initially infuriated me,  made me see the deepest […]

  • Reply
    Meditating mummy
    October 6, 2014 at 2:14 pm

    Kim, I love how you’ve said your sister’s voice speaks through you. Yes she does and what an amazing, empowering, strong post this is. Every one of those reasons is a valid one in the eyes of those who stay. For those who want to leave… May they read your words, may they find strength, may they rise up and stand tall. They do hear you dear friend. I hear you!
    Meditating mummy recently posted..Book Review: The Book of Life by Deborah HarknessMy Profile

  • Reply
    October 9, 2014 at 1:16 pm

    Kim, this post has served to clarify the many reasons women remain in abusive relationships. Your words open our eyes to reasons women stay. Sadly, when people don’t have the facts, they are quick to judge and criticize. Apathy and ignorance prompt people to reach conclusions without truly knowing what happens to those living in a toxic and harmful environment. Your words showcase what goes through the mind of the victim and why she remains put. Fear and hope hold many women captive; controlled by the abuser. As a society, we need to create awareness, educate, and provide assistance for anyone who is living in such tragic circumstances. May your words continue to enlighten us, my friend!

  • Reply
    Gunmetal Geisha
    October 12, 2014 at 12:00 pm

    I don’t have the words to articulate how this subject makes me feel. But I admire how you do, and so eloquently.
    Gunmetal Geisha recently posted..You Probably Think This Post is About YouMy Profile

  • Reply
    October 20, 2014 at 8:45 pm

    This article serves as an open reminder to all women who are going through the same ordeal , hoping that things will change…. but it never did, the reasons are all valid and very enlightening. Thanks for sharing. Great Post.
    lynne recently posted..They Called Him “Butterfingers”My Profile

  • Reply
    November 9, 2014 at 8:54 am

    I can identify with so many of these reasons but #9-12 were why I stayed. Thank you for sharing what so many just don’t understand. My heart aches for you and for your sister.

  • Reply
    November 11, 2014 at 6:57 am

    My loving daughter Michelle is in a bad controlled marriage but she has moved out and he is still controlling and still is living in fear. She has no community to help her. Her only so called friends were wives of the men he allowed her to associate with. Now separated they don’t want to be friends. He will not allow her to visit her dad and is not allowed to go any place without his company or permission.he is fighting for custody of a 9 year old girl so he will not have to pay child support. He has choked her and hit her in front if his friends and has instilled fear in her. She read these 13 reasons and OMG it is him all over. She is working and struggling through all thus. Hebtext all nitebwhen he has his daughter and calls her often always putting her down and acussing her of made up things. I pray she makes it through alive. He is so much worse than what I have said here . Kay was a blessing for my Michelle.

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      November 25, 2014 at 9:24 pm

      will she call the shelter for help? Can she call the Help Line above? he will kill her. that is the truth.
      Tell me what I can do?

      Love from MN.
      My Inner Chick recently posted..6 Early Signs of Domestic AbuseMy Profile

  • Reply
    6 Early Signs of Domestic Abuse | My Inner Chick
    November 22, 2014 at 10:02 am

    […] Other Articles to Read:  13 Reasons She Stayed […]

  • Reply
    All Roads Out Of Hell Lead Home | My Inner Chick
    January 1, 2015 at 10:08 am

    […]  13 Reasons She Stayed […]

  • Leave a Reply

    CommentLuv badge