In Memory of Kay Kim's Blogs

Encounter With A Mythical God



~For my angel,  Kay,  who always  made me laugh & snort until I pissed my pants.


Kay was my crazy partner in crime.


We were sort of like Lucy & Ethel.  No,  maybe more like Laurel and Hardy.


She’d assert I was the bad sister, the naughty sister— but that’s only partly true.  She had an amusing streak of flirtation, which I will reveal in this essay.


During one of our sister dates at Grandmas’ Sports Garden,  a dude resembling Antonio Banderas happened to be our waiter.   You know Antonio,  no?


Interview With a Vampire.   Zorro.    Puss in Boots.   Melanie Griffith.    HOT.


Yeah, darling,  that one.


So,  here comes Antonio with his saucy, sexy, seductive self to take our orders.  Needless to say,  we’re giggling like fourteen year old school-girls.


Kay nudges me,  “Oh, isn’t he gorgeous?  Isn’t he adorable? Did you notice those big brown eyes?”


“And he’s young enough to be our…”


“Don’t finish that sentence,  Kimmie.” She hisses.  “Don’t ruin it.”


“What would you like, ladies?” Antonio smiles.  Holy Shit.


Unbelievable,  he doesn’t have a Spanish accent.  I’m a bit disappointed.


Oh, well, you can’t have everything.  Somebody who looks like that needn’t speak;  he only needs to be.


His teeth, I swear to god, are gleaming white rows of pearls. His skin is milk chocolate.  The Dove kind. The young kind. The licking kind. And he has this luscious black pony tail surging down his back like a dark water.


Want to go swimming?


Kay is batting her eyes  like one of those cartoon characters with oversized lashes.


Betty Boop.


I’m  absolutely positive Antonio is used to this sort of ridiculous behavior by females.


Beautiful people cause ordinary people to squirm in their chairs.   Assholes


“Um,  lets see, I’ll take a Caesar salad with extra dressing on the side,” Kay purrs. “Oh,  and lets split Louisiana chicken wings, Kimmie.”


Then we both lift our heads to gaze at him.


He is a tower above us.  A chiseled stature.   The mythical God, Himeros.


We take the perfection all the way inside.


A warm breeze blowing up our nostrils.


“Ma’am,” he says, glancing at Kay.  “I knew I recognized you.”


Kay is still batting her Betty Boop lashes,  locking her brown eyes into his brown eyes.


“I’ve been trying to figure it out,” he says, “Doesn’t that drive you crazy, you know, when you can’t remember a pretty face?”


“Yeah, I know exactly what you mean.”  Kay tosses her hair back,  rubs her raspberry lips together.


“Well, anyhow,  a light bulb went off, and I’m like, I know that lady.  I went to middle school with your son,  Jordan.”


Kay turns to me without saying anything.


But her face is articulating a million words.  All of them profusely, embarrassingly wicked.


Once again,  I laugh and snort until I piss my pants.


—Darling,  Reader,  tell me a funny story.  Make me laugh and snort.


—-NOTE: I am beyond thrilled w/ my new blog design done by Brooklyn Mama, Vanita.  Find her.  Hire her:  I love this woman!   HERE!!!!

Also,  for you literary chicks,  go visit Jeri because she ROoooooooooCKS like Gaga.

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  • Reply
    Elephant's Child
    July 27, 2014 at 2:43 pm

    Laughter like that is priceless. Something to hug to yourself on dark days – and darker nights.
    Elephant’s Child recently posted..Sunday Selections #182My Profile

  • Reply
    July 27, 2014 at 3:33 pm

    I’ve watched all of those movies and loved him as the voice over for Puss in Boots, Kim! There is a sandwich shop here in town I’ve frequented for several years now. They know Phoenix and I by first name and know my order by heart. I sent the entire staff a huge gift basket of candy bars and treats for Christmas. I do the same for several places – i.e. vet, pharmacist, doggie day care staffs. This sandwich shop is like the Baywatch of gals behind the counter! A new gal started there who is unbelievably spectacular beautiful. She was fawning over Phoenix with compliments, “I love your dog! He’s sooooo cute!” Yes! Then she says, “You have the nicest hair and I like the tiny hints of gray. Very distinguished.” I blushed and said thank you. She said, “Yep, it totally reminds me of my Dad!” Phoenix giggling his ass off to me in his Jeep regarding this as I got in and started up the engine, “Let’s roll, DAD…LOL…” Smart ass kid. 🙂
    Mike recently posted..City of Reno Walking Tour When It’s Past My CurfewMy Profile

  • Reply
    Britton Swingler
    July 27, 2014 at 3:51 pm

    Bahahahahahahahahaha! Love how getting older only show on the outside – our insides remain fairly girlish, don’t they?

    Anywho…one evening my girlfriend takes herself to the movies, which she frequently does. After grabbing popcorn and a drink, she makes her way through the dark theater (the previews had started). Walking to the middle of an aisle she picks a seat and pat pat pats it to, what, make sure it’s empty? “Excuse me,” comes a deep, sexy voice, “someone is sitting here.”
    Britton Swingler recently posted..AbruptMy Profile

  • Reply
    Jennifer Wolfe
    July 27, 2014 at 4:18 pm

    Oh dear, I don’t think I could top that one….well, last year I was teaching a new group of 7th graders, and one of them kept playing with a banana on his desk. I asked him to please put it away, and he proceeded to stuff it down the front of his pants. Without missing a beat (I’ve taught middle school for 24 years), I said, “___, please take that banana out of your pants.” He complied, but it sent my teaching intern into spasms of giggles. 🙂
    Jennifer Wolfe recently with mamawolfe: Relax at the Roman Spa Hot Springs Resort in CalistogaMy Profile

  • Reply
    July 27, 2014 at 6:00 pm

    Wow. Cougartown in full affect. Darn those younguns with good memory.

  • Reply
    Valentine Logar
    July 27, 2014 at 6:11 pm

    These are the memories that let us take the next breath! I loved this one.
    Valentine Logar recently posted..Out of Dreams NightmaresMy Profile

  • Reply
    July 27, 2014 at 6:16 pm

    A wonderful memory w/ Kay. She lives in this piece. <3

  • Reply
    July 27, 2014 at 6:45 pm

    Sister, you tell a good joke! Loved it! “The young kind. The licking kind” … you are naughty xx
    solidgoldcreativity recently posted..Talk to your headpieceMy Profile

  • Reply
    Angie@Angie's Recipes
    July 27, 2014 at 9:14 pm

    What happy memories! They put a big smile to my face.
    Have a great week ahead, Kim!
    Angie@Angie’s Recipes recently posted..Raspberry Vinaigrette with Homemade Raspberry VinegarMy Profile

  • Reply
    Vidya Sury
    July 28, 2014 at 12:44 am

    I loved that story, Kim! Hugs!
    Your blog looks sexier! And I was so, so thrilled to receive your “newsletter” letting me know of this post. I almost kissed my screen!

    Love you more than the white sands I saw over the weekend, with the gentle waves of the ocean lapping at them, caressing them!
    Vidya Sury recently posted..Sury, Zuri and #ZestUpYourLife with @BlogAddaMy Profile

  • Reply
    Mandy - The Complete Book
    July 28, 2014 at 2:45 am

    I was ecstatic when I got your email notification this morning Kim, it made my Monday which was quite crappy into a happy day, THEN, I went down to the post office and your card was waiting for me. Woohoo!!! Now it is the best Monday every! Love, love, love! Thank you for sending me the most beautiful card with your love, I am sending my love right back to you. I dream of the day I can give you a hug!
    Have a beautiful week ahead my dear.
    🙂 Mandy xoxoxo
    Mandy – The Complete Book recently posted..Teavive TeaMy Profile

    • Reply
      Mandy - The Complete Book
      July 28, 2014 at 2:46 am

      I was so excited the love from you that I forgot to say what a wonderful and funny story. I wish I had a sister like Kay. She sounds like she was the best friend to have! 🙂 xoxoxo
      Mandy – The Complete Book recently posted..Teavive TeaMy Profile

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      July 30, 2014 at 7:55 am

      I know!
      My emails are going out again.
      Vanita fixed it!
      Love to you, sweet Mandy. xxx
      My Inner Chick recently posted.. Encounter With A Mythical GodMy Profile

  • Reply
    Lorraine @ Not Quite Nigella
    July 28, 2014 at 3:01 am

    LOL great story Kim! I felt like I was right there with you giggling and being naughty! 😀 xxx
    Lorraine @ Not Quite Nigella recently posted..The Best Ever Chocolate Fruit Mince Tarts & Win a Woolworths Gold Goodie Box!My Profile

  • Reply
    July 28, 2014 at 4:51 am

    Lmao! That’s the two of you! Lol perfect Kim! Perfect!
    Love you!

  • Reply
    Susan Casey
    July 28, 2014 at 7:21 am

    What can I say, dear one…what a delightful way to begin my day! Love this story…and the deep friendship, sister bond the two of you had/have (always). You capture the delight in your relationship so beautifully through your stories, your memories. Thank you for sharing a small piece of the beauty you two shared. I hope you laugh today:-)
    All my love!

  • Reply
    July 28, 2014 at 7:23 am

    Love this one! Love the new blog, too! It feels good to ‘clean house’ a little, doesn’t it? I’ve done it twice, with the help of my designer friend, Susie.
    Barbara recently posted..On the Way to Cape May…My Profile

  • Reply
    Patricia Scattergood
    July 28, 2014 at 7:43 am

    Delightful story. Just what she needed–to be reminded she’s someone’s mother. Love it!

  • Reply
    July 28, 2014 at 8:11 am

    LOVE your story! I can’t think of something funny to save my life. I do crack myself up with funny faces but those need no story. I do them before every video to loosen up and buy I crack myself up. Did you see my outtake video on fb? Xoxo
    Jodi recently posted..Are you normal?My Profile

  • Reply
    lisa thomson-The Great Escape...
    July 28, 2014 at 9:41 am

    So, your ‘Mythical God’ was Kay’s Son’s school chum? Oh, well. Sometimes they grow up good–super good. LOL That is such a cute story. 2 Cougar Sisters! Your site looks great, Kim!
    lisa thomson-The Great Escape… recently posted..Social Media Lovers-Which is Your Favorite?My Profile

  • Reply
    July 28, 2014 at 10:00 am

    What is both lovely, and moving of course, is that she is still with and in you, and always will be, keeping these stories fresh to bring out and amuse us all here, and make that moment live again. What an amazing and endearing pair you must have been at that restaurant 🙂

  • Reply
    Sebastian Aiden Daniels
    July 28, 2014 at 10:13 am

    Your new blog layout is awesome Very slick. I’m a tiny bit jealous hehe : D.

    I loved this story. So funny.

    I can’t think of any hilarious stories right now. I will have to come back after I think of a specific memory. I did crash my car when I was 16 after trying to reenact Tokyo Drift with a friend.
    Sebastian Aiden Daniels recently posted..What Leslie Knope Has Taught MeMy Profile

  • Reply
    July 28, 2014 at 10:21 am

    What a pair!!!
    I so enjoyed reading this, and thank you so much for the smiles (laughs!!)

    Ok, this is the most recent thing:

    I was texting my son, and I wanted to say, “If you need anything, just let me know.”
    Well I have an iPhone (think obnoxious spell-correct), and I was in a hurry, and I hit send before I typed “just let me know.” I also did not check what I typed.
    What did he receive from me???
    “F U nerd”

    Happy day to you, sweet friend. xo.

  • Reply
    July 28, 2014 at 10:24 am

    Such a wild crazy wonderful memory for you to hold onto, Kim. xxxxx
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  • Reply
    July 28, 2014 at 10:26 am

    Aw, geez, that waiter : ) Great essay Kim! I like the line ‘We take the perfection all the way inside’.

  • Reply
    July 28, 2014 at 10:37 am

    Fantastic story, Kim! And how reassuring that *some* of the kids our kids went to school with turn out so doggone good (and good-lookin’!)

    I can’t think of anything to top that — nothing, I’m afraid, even comes close. You and Kay shared such a special bond; it’s clear time and distance cannot spoil that.

    Hugs from Illinois (and congrats on your new blog design — it’s super!)
    Debbie recently posted..5 Reasons I Hate CatsMy Profile

  • Reply
    Beverly Diehl
    July 28, 2014 at 1:01 pm

    Gorgeous story – and what a twist at the ending, yikes! Yes, Kay was beautiful, certainly a MILF to that hot young man.

    btw, I hear Antonio is single again… Of course, you already have Mr. Liverpool, so if I run into Mr. Banderas, I’ll have a taste on your behalf.

    I’m generous that way.
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  • Reply
    Kathy @ SMART Living
    July 28, 2014 at 1:58 pm

    Hi Kim….you had me with the photo 🙂 While I tend to prefer my mythical gods to be blond, I’ve always made an exception with Antonio. I can’t think of one story that’s funnier than this…. Great memory of Kay….. ~Kathy

  • Reply
    July 28, 2014 at 4:34 pm

    You two…I can picture both of you like I’m watching a sitcom! What a great story!
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  • Reply
    Corina Ramos
    July 28, 2014 at 6:01 pm

    OMG I couldn’t stop laughing! The hubs is sitting next to me and looking at me like I’ve lost my mind LOL.

    I’ve never had an encounter like this and I don’t I could ever top it if I do :). Great story. Thanks for the laugh!
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  • Reply
    July 28, 2014 at 6:11 pm

    How funny. I forget all the time how old I am. Always surprised when something happens that points out I’m no longer a young married, much less a teenager. Can not think of one funny thing to share. That’s part of being old I guess…short timer memory goes first…then long term. So they say.

  • Reply
    Balroop Singh
    July 28, 2014 at 6:59 pm

    Oh Kim! I almost felt I was there with you and Kay, I could see your expressions and hear your laughter! Very well articulated!
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  • Reply
    Deborah Batterman
    July 28, 2014 at 7:32 pm

    A waiter with a face like Antonio would leave an impression on me too . . . And there’s something wonderfully familiar about the commiseration between sisters/friends when it comes to moments like this.
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  • Reply
    Choc Chip Uru
    July 28, 2014 at 8:00 pm

    Haha I loved all your memories, what a wonderful post! 😀
    I was definitely there with you all the way!

    Choc Chip Uru
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  • Reply
    July 28, 2014 at 8:18 pm

    Love this story and the irony! I’m sure it was both a delicious meal & view 😉 My tales tend to revolve around food as you know, but I can tell you of the time my girlfriend’s and I went to brunch. Bonus our waiter that day, looked like Jonathan Rhys Myers, much to the delight of the gals & I 🙂
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  • Reply
    July 28, 2014 at 8:19 pm

    Ps, absolutely love your new look blog!!! Congrats!!!
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  • Reply
    July 28, 2014 at 10:24 pm

    What a great story! Way too funny. Tomorrow I get to do an interview with a really cute guy who happens to be an Olympic Silver Medal winner from the last winter Olympics. I’m thinking he’s so cute, what will I ask him? And trust me, I know he’s young, but it’s okay to look, right? Then I do research on him and that’s when I see–he’s the same age as my daughter! Yikes, that’s really young. Oh well, I’m still hoping I can get my picture taken with him. We’ll see. 😉
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      July 31, 2014 at 7:48 am

      looking is okay, right? And touching, too, if you’re not married!!!
      Let us know how the interview goes w/ Cutie! xxx
      My Inner Chick recently posted.. Encounter With A Mythical GodMy Profile

  • Reply
    July 29, 2014 at 1:37 am

    You had me at Antonio… 😉
    ladyfi recently posted..Symphony in whiteMy Profile

  • Reply
    July 29, 2014 at 6:43 am

    Oh, that is just a deliciously funny story!
    Thank you, as always, for sharing your beautiful memories of and with Kay. xo
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  • Reply
    July 29, 2014 at 7:44 am

    Oh, Antonio… (swoon). LMAO @ this story. What a wonderful memory with your sister 🙂
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  • Reply
    July 29, 2014 at 7:47 am

    Oh, and awesome design by Vanita 🙂 She is the best!!
    Charlotte recently posted..Wish I Was Here review (and scattered thoughts)My Profile

  • Reply
    Wild Child Mama
    July 29, 2014 at 8:10 am

    Kim! I’m so excited because I am getting your email updates again! For some reason they weren’t coming to me. I re-subscribed and everything. That was like a year ago. But this week, there it was, right there in my inbox! Not even in my junk mail! There is some deep meaning in this. And I think I know what it is…I need to laugh more, embrace the laughter! Do you know, we are holding our first ever dinner/bible study for women who work in strip clubs tonight?! And while I was praying this morning, imagining lovely ladies listening to God’s AWESOME word, I pictured myself saying that Jesus loves that we’re rebels. Then I laughed. He loves that silly, flirty, totally inappropriate part about us! Even that. It just made me smile. Thank God He loves it all! Anyway, that’s another story. The only funny stuff I have going on right now is my memory. All that pot smoking really did it. The other day, I picked up my phone to call my husband, set my phone down, then heard this ringing. And I was like, what is that ringing. I looked in my lap, there was my phone, calling my husband. Seriously. I’d forgotten.
    Love you! So excited, by the grace of God, I’m getting your updates again. Woot!
    Wild Child Mama recently posted..Beautiful and Loved Mother’s Day OutreachMy Profile

  • Reply
    Dangerous Linda
    July 29, 2014 at 8:44 am

    Hi, Kimmy! ~

    Like you, I used to have funny sisters to hang out with — I miss them! Mine didn’t die, though. The last time I went out with two of my sisters we had a BLAST! Then, my sister called the police and told them I stole her car. Which is sort of ‘funny’ in retrospect. But, only if she stays a long way away from me….. Maybe I should take a little road trip to Duluth and we can go out and laugh till we pee our pants??? I would love that! xoxox
    Dangerous Linda recently posted..they’re back–PT 2My Profile

  • Reply
    July 29, 2014 at 11:19 am

    Thanks for the shout-out! As I started to read this post, I instantly thought of a wine bar I was at this winter. The waiter was sooooo sexy and sooooo Spanish. I could have listened to him talk about various wines all night long. He was also sooooo twenty 😉 It’s an interesting shift when hot dudes start to be young enough to be your offspring 😉
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      July 31, 2014 at 7:55 am

      Soooooooooooooooo 20!
      You know what?
      My girlfriend is dating a 27 year old! & I’m like, good for you, girlfriend!! ENVIOUS!)) xx
      My Inner Chick recently posted.. Encounter With A Mythical GodMy Profile

  • Reply
    Lindsay Cummings
    July 29, 2014 at 12:42 pm

    I love this post. These are the moments you just have to laugh! At least you both enjoyed some eye candy before that blow to her ego:)

  • Reply
    Hotly Spiced
    July 29, 2014 at 2:17 pm

    I love the new look of your blog. That’s a really funny story. Unbelievable that he knew Kay – when he divulged how he knew Kay, that really would have killed the fantasy! Beautifully written and so engaging xx
    Hotly Spiced recently posted..The Spotted Pig, Greenwich Village, New YorkMy Profile

  • Reply
    July 29, 2014 at 4:09 pm

    Great story Kim. Know that feeling. When my youngest who is now 15 was about 3 years old a teenage girl told me how cute my grandson was…..Did I want to punch her in the mouth? Yep!!!!!
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  • Reply
    July 29, 2014 at 5:34 pm

    That was hilarious! ! Oh, and love the new look here.

  • Reply
    Rita @ The Crafty Expat
    July 29, 2014 at 6:57 pm

    Oh! Kim! This is hilarious! You got me laughing out loud alone in my study!
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  • Reply
    July 29, 2014 at 7:15 pm

    Your blog looks AMAZING!! Beautifully done! And a wonderful story to go with along with the new decor…to darn funny!
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  • Reply
    July 30, 2014 at 12:03 am

    Dear Kim, love that sleek new blog design – it looks absolutely wonderful! And that story certainly made my Wednesday morning – it is raining cats and dogs here, even hail in July and here I am sitting at my desk in the morning, the house is still asleep and I am having a really good laugh – got to love those moments in life…

  • Reply
    Anna @ shenANNAgans
    July 30, 2014 at 3:29 am

    Bahhhaaa Ha HA! What a fab story Kim! I love visiting your blog, I always get a good giggle in. 🙂
    My blog post this week is about a wine called ‘Ladies who Shoot their Lunch’, I of course took this opportunity to dress up in my lady hunter best and hit the grass/bush lands. These 2 big burley blokes watched me put on my costume, I grabbed my giant plastic gun and these 2, they slowly backed away from me. It was hilarious… Maybe ya had to be there. 🙂
    Anna @ shenANNAgans recently posted..Ladies who Shoot their LunchMy Profile

  • Reply
    Ellen M. Gregg
    July 30, 2014 at 10:38 am

    Oh, my goodness! 😀 That would have been a Depends moment for me, for sure.

    Imagine you’re in a crowded elevator, and you’ve just pressed the button for the 14th floor. It’s a fast-moving elevator, you’re starting from the ground floor, and the first stop is the 5th floor.
    whoosh Your stomach bottoms out and then slides back up into place.
    “Wheeee!” You grin sweetly at your companion, whose wide smile seems out of place as a response, and that’s when you feel a magnetic pull.
    You tilt your head (the top of which sits at 5 feet, 4 inches) back to find out what’s pulling at you, and your eyes land on the face of a man who’s at least a foot taller than you. He’s smiling down at you, much like your companion, except you’ve never met.
    ding Maybe he’s just friendly.
    It hits you, then, why he – and the other strangers around you, for that matter, are all smiling at you. That “Wheeee!” you thought you’d uttered in your head? Yeah… No. Your lips played traitor and let that response out for all to hear.
    ding Oops.

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  • Reply
    July 31, 2014 at 6:56 am

    “The licking kind” I get you Kim. Love this description.
    I was there reading you, in the bus by the way. And people might have thought I was a bit crazy (crazy is good!) as I was laughing alone, imagining your faces in front of the georgeous waiter (no so georgous at the end!)
    Why young men have to be sooooo handsome…
    Thanks for the laugh and the love.
    PS – Fabulous design BTW

  • Reply
    Elisabeth Kinsey
    July 31, 2014 at 9:41 am


  • Reply
    Elisabeth Kinsey
    July 31, 2014 at 9:43 am

    Sorry – this website is tricky! I was writing and it published it already – anyway – was going to say so great! Reminds me of my reaction to FIFA – I love when they’re all sweaty at the end of the game and take off their shirts to wipe their brows.

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      July 31, 2014 at 9:47 am

      Yeahhhh, Baaaaby!

      I absolutely LOOOOVE soccer players! xx

      I told Mr. Liverpool “I think the prerequisite for being a soccer player is being HOT)))!!
      My Inner Chick recently posted.. Encounter With A Mythical GodMy Profile

  • Reply
    Charlene Ross
    July 31, 2014 at 1:35 pm

    Oh Kim,
    You know I love this one! 🙂
    I had a similar thing happen to me a while ago. I was at Starbucks and this really cute (and very young) guy kept staring at me. Like really staring. Finally he came over to me and I thought, “Really, I’m getting hit on at a suburban Starbucks by a hot young dude,”
    “Hi,” he said.
    “Hi,” I said back.

  • Reply
    Charlene Ross
    July 31, 2014 at 1:40 pm

    Ack! I wasn’t done. How did my comment post??? Anyway…
    Then he said, “Aren’t you Chandler’s mom?”
    Waaaaaa! It was Chandler’s old karate teacher (I hadn’t seen him in a couple of years – he’d grown his hair out and looked a lot different.) Sigh.. that’s what I get for thinking some hot (young) guy would hit on me in a Starbucks.
    You were so right – Somebody who looks like that needn’t speak; he only needs to be.
    Stupid boys!

  • Reply
    Marcia @ Menopausal Mother
    August 1, 2014 at 8:13 pm

    This is so freaking awesome—LOVE the ending! You should submit this somewhere, like “In The Powder Room.” Or “Midlife Boulevard.” It’s great!
    Marcia @ Menopausal Mother recently posted..When The Trolls Come Out To PlayMy Profile

  • Reply
    Kristi Campbell
    August 3, 2014 at 8:09 am

    What a fabulous story and lovely memory to remember a fun day with your sister! My mom once brought a new boyfriend home. I must have been 18. I asked her how old he was – because he looked young – and she said 30. We started talking and it ended up that he was like 3 years older than I was and we knew some of the same people from rivaling highschools. GAH. I still give her a hard time about it 😉
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  • Reply
    Alice // Hip Foodie Mom
    August 6, 2014 at 6:17 am

    oh my gawd. . hilarious!!! like a scene from a movie. . loved this!
    Alice // Hip Foodie Mom recently posted..Cherry Chocolate Hazelnut SconesMy Profile

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