In Memory of Kay

Ten Times Undone



–I have a question for you?


Do you read your writing aloud before you press publish?


I do.




Mr. Liverpool can hear me from the back room.


“Who are you talking to, Kim?” He asks.


“Myself.”  I say.  (nothing new.  He knows I’m a bit crazy)


I read aloud.  I read aloud over and over again.


And the piece is never truly finished,  never truly complete.  Is it?


I add better words. I rearrange sentences.  I add commas.  (I just adore commas)  I read to my girlfriends over the phone.


“What do you think?”


But mostly,  I delete.   My favorite part.   Deleting is like releasing something unwanted, unwelcome, undesirable.


At any rate…


Click the highlighted blue title below to hear me read one of my pieces aloud.  I suggest you do the same with your work.


This essay/letter/poem (whatever you wish to call it) is the fifth letter in my book (about Kay) entitled:  (click on top of page)


Darlings,  I ask again,  do you read your writing/poetry/essays/blogs ALOUD as part of your writing process?

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  • Reply
    Britton Swingler
    July 19, 2014 at 3:26 pm

    Yes, Kim – reading aloud is the best way – it’s just not the same to read it over and over again. When I read aloud I A L W A Y S wind up catching a handful of things I would have missed otherwise. Heading to Soundcloud now…
    Britton Swingler recently posted..AbruptMy Profile

  • Reply
    July 19, 2014 at 3:27 pm

    I absolutely read everything aloud, several times. You’re right. It is never truly finished, but at some point we must send it out into the world. I try not to read it again after that, because I will always find something I want to change.
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  • Reply
    Britton Swingler
    July 19, 2014 at 3:34 pm

    Kim…crying now and I have no right to. It’s your grief and your pain, and no one has a single answer or piece of advice that will make it anything other than it is. But I cry nevertheless – partly for myself and my own senseless losses, but mostly for you as you read out the truth with a surreal grace. Despite how much it hurts to share your grief, I imagine it would be worse not to. Thank you for sharing so openly Kim.
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      July 22, 2014 at 6:45 am

      you have EVERY right to cry for your pain, your losses, your memories.
      I hope my writing, at least, does that. xxx
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  • Reply
    Joan Peterson
    July 19, 2014 at 4:18 pm

    Hearing it read out loud is more powerful. I often read it under my breath and the let my blog post sit for a while until I can get it right. Even then, it isn’t quite right. I delete, add, start over and sometimes I just don’t publish it. Ideas sit unpublished. But your writing is so personal and also funny at times. I think hearing your voice makes it all so much more relevant to the rest of us. Good advice, Kim. Thanks.

  • Reply
    Elephant's Child
    July 19, 2014 at 4:46 pm

    Hugs and love my powerful, beautiful friend.
    Hurting for you, hurting with you.
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      July 22, 2014 at 6:47 am

      Dear, Sue,
      sending you love and kisses from across the other end of the universe. xx
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  • Reply
    July 19, 2014 at 5:11 pm

    For sure! Absolutely. Always!

    And like you, Kim, there’s always another improvement and often force myself to hit “publish”.

    Then there’s the experience of reading it m-u-c-h later. Yike! I really do understand writers wanting throw out their old stuff, but it’s fascinating to have a before and after picture. It speaks volumes and I feel so human when I see the work they have to put into a piece.

    Now I’m off to hear this voice that I have imagined…let’s see if it matches my imagination!

    Big hug,
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  • Reply
    July 19, 2014 at 5:48 pm

    As I listen, Kim – and your voice IS how I imagined – my inner voice says, “This is not how she would have sounded at the time she wrote this.” You see, I hear time in your voice. I love you so very much, you loving woman! – Amy@SoulDipper.
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      July 22, 2014 at 6:48 am

      OOO, Amy,
      is it how you imagined? You hear the time, the passing? You know, 2 years ago, I wouldn’t
      have been able to read that piece w/out sobbing. You are so right.

      Love you back. xx
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  • Reply
    Joe Peterson
    July 19, 2014 at 6:33 pm

    WOW! That was powerful, and despite the pain that was heard from your words and from your voice, I felt comfort while listening to you. I Love You Kim

    Oh, I proof my writings several times, but I’ve never read them aloud – I read medical diagnosis aloud to Kel during his last year and it always felt too real. Guess I haven’t yet gotten past that.

  • Reply
    July 19, 2014 at 11:55 pm

    Dear Kim, I am so moved that I could actually listen to your powerful voice – so full of emotion and strength…I still cannnot believe that I actually listened to you! Thank you for sharing! Cannot say that often enough! Now I have your voice and your words to carry with me throughout the day…

    Reading aloud before I post? Yes, I do, for some reason I believe that necessary, especially since English is not my mother tongue, I always hope that I will notice a few mistakes that way.


    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      July 22, 2014 at 6:50 am

      Sweet, Andrea,
      I would love to hear your voice, too. German is your first language, right? LOVE to you from here. xxx
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  • Reply
    Angie@Angie's Recipes
    July 20, 2014 at 1:03 am

    I didn’t…that’s reason I made lots of mistakes even just writing a short paragraph…well, I should..from now on. Thanks, Kim, for sharing.
    Have a wonderful Sunday!
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  • Reply
    Mandy - The Complete Book
    July 20, 2014 at 1:14 am

    It was wonderful hearing your voice!
    I always read my work over but hardly ever aloud. I am always editing something before posting. I shall have to read my next post aloud and see how much better it is – it will be better!
    Have a beautiful day dear – I have your voice and words echoing in my head from Ten Times Undone!
    Love to you across the oceans.
    🙂 Mandy xoxoxo
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      July 22, 2014 at 6:52 am

      perhaps one day we will be able to sit face to face discussing life, writing, blogs, cats….

      I look forward to it. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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  • Reply
    Vidya Sury
    July 20, 2014 at 4:32 am

    I should, shouldn’t I? But then I’d never get anything published because I’d end up editing it over and over.

    Thank you for sharing your voice with us!

    Love you more than the purple and white bougainvillea spilling over the walls in our area!
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      July 22, 2014 at 6:54 am

      I’d so much love to hear your voice, dearest.
      I imagine it’s like butterflies floating in blue air & kisses brushing across skin. xxxxxxxx
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  • Reply
    July 20, 2014 at 5:42 am

    Your voice is so compelling and it was good to hear it. I must admit that I don’t read my work out loud all of the time and I know I should. So often as most of us have found out, what we hear in our heads doesn’t always match with what the fingers are doing, and the result can sometimes be a hot mess. Thank you for the reminder and for sharing your voice, literally and figuratively.
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      July 22, 2014 at 6:55 am

      I guess I started doing this as a young girl and never stopped. I hate change!! xxxx
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  • Reply
    July 20, 2014 at 8:45 am

    Kim, this is just beautifully emotional! (You sound exactly the way I pictured, too — what lovely diction you have, to go along with your gripping words!)

    Yes, I regularly read aloud my writing. Not only that, but because I write novels, I even ACT OUT some of my scenes! (See why writing in a coffee shop isn’t my cup of tea?! I don’t want somebody to toss a net over my head and drag me off!!)

    One of my dear friends here is a poet, and I just love to hear the lyrical, rhythmic cadences of her words — you, Kim, have a similar gift! Poets seem to be extra-frugal when it comes to description, probably because nobody is going to read “diarrhea on the page”. Well done!
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      July 23, 2014 at 7:53 am

      I think you must go into a coffee shop and recite your words! The cappuccino drinkers may like it! xxxxxxx
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  • Reply
    July 20, 2014 at 8:54 am

    I know what you mean, Kim. I read and reread each post, making changes, rearranging as I go through it. It’s never done. Even after it goes live I find a sentence that could stand to be revised, a better way of saying it. I find a word that should be replaced or a comma that needs to be added. It’s helpful to read aloud, but I read “aloud” inside my head. Make sense? 🙂
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  • Reply
    July 20, 2014 at 9:10 am

    Wow. A very solemn, quiet wow. I just finished listening to the 3 minute sun cloud reading and tears are coming down my face. Phoenix is pawing at my knee literally pondering an answering for my emotion and wanting to ease it. I loved hearing your voice….I absolutely LOVE hearing all of my blogger friends voices in an audible or Vlog format. Thank you so dearly much for sharing that with all of us. Yes, I do read my posts outloud…often to my kid…and I find/hear mistakes and make corrections. Sometimes I will have friends or my webmaster, Chris, “filter” my posts and offering editing. And sometimes I will just go ahead and post with all my imperfections 🙂 We love you so very much, Kim! xoxo’s 🙂
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  • Reply
    July 20, 2014 at 9:18 am

    I must admit, I’ve never read my writings aloud. I proof, I rewrite, I edit, but I’ve not read them aloud. I can see how it would make a difference.

    I’m going to save your recording for later.

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  • Reply
    July 20, 2014 at 9:44 am

    Love You!

  • Reply
    July 20, 2014 at 10:00 am

    Your poetry hits every nerve Kim. As I listened to what you were saying I couldn’t help but feel that people that try to sympathize or empathize with you feel just as lost and don’t know what to say but they want you to keep going so they try…you write and speak so well. I felt like I was in the hospital with you. Awful. Do I read my blog aloud. No. I read it as I go along, change as I go along and then hope that someone will enjoy the recipe I post. What I do Kim is sing aloud….all.the.time!!!!!!!
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  • Reply
    lisa thomson-The Great Escape...
    July 20, 2014 at 10:03 am

    Your reading is incredibly powerful, Kim. Just when I thought your writing couldn’t get any more powerful, you read it aloud. Powerful, riveting, heart wrenching. They always beg and try to get her sympathy. A warning flag.

    I read my writing out loud before hitting publish, not every time though. Poetry definitely benefits from this process.

    I look forward to seeing your changes here at My Inner Chick. xo
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      July 23, 2014 at 8:04 am

      the begging always made Kay stay….but this time she wasn’t going to. You know what happened.

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  • Reply
    Chris Carter
    July 20, 2014 at 12:05 pm

    WOW. Your voice makes your words come alive and penetrate me more deeply than on page… the way you write always pulls me into your despair and those places you take us to through your detailed description of scenes that played out in your world- you leave me always in angst and in awe, my sweet surviving sister. Your tones and lingering air leave me more breathless than ever…

    People walk aimlessly around such suffering, offering empty words and naive advice- There are some things that cannot be touched by human words attempting to help or heal. This one is untouchable.

    But perhaps presence. Presence in the hollow pits of pain….

    Feel my presence.
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      July 23, 2014 at 8:05 am

      Love your words, Chris.
      God speaks thru you.
      I feel HIS presence in those hollow, empty places. xxxxxxxxxxxx
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  • Reply
    nan @ lbddiaries
    July 20, 2014 at 12:19 pm

    “…why do you feel compelled to speak?” That is powerful right there. People feel they have to SAY something and it so rarely helps.

    I do not read aloud but listening to your Ten Times Undone challenges me to think about that and consider starting. I love you more than my swimming pool. I love my swimming pool. A lot. And I loved hearing your voice. It is a powerful communicator of things unsaid.
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  • Reply
    July 20, 2014 at 2:05 pm

    I have to say, I’ve never read a post out loud, but after listening to this, I may have to rethink that. Then again, sometimes no matter how many times you change/edit, hearing a voice is usually so much more powerful/meaningful.

    Sending you hugs and love, sweet friend. xo.

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      July 23, 2014 at 8:07 am

      Hugs and love back to you, Lisa. xxx

      btw, I adore your buttercups. Those little golden gems remind me of my childhood.
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  • Reply
    Suzanne Lucas
    July 20, 2014 at 2:32 pm

    I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through, and what you’re still going through, Kim. Hearing you voice your words out loud made me want to reach out and help you somehow — just like those other people who offer you advice and tissues. We all really want to do something, anything, to help but don’t really know how to.

    Wishing that one day, things will look a little brighter for you although I know the pain will never completely go away.

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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      July 23, 2014 at 8:08 am

      one needs to learn to live w/ the loss. NEVER get over it.

      The best thing somebody said to me was “I’m here to mourn w/ you.”

      xxx KISS
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  • Reply
    July 20, 2014 at 2:45 pm

    I always read my writing outloud, and several times. And always find an error, and read again. And even after posting it, I know there is still something I should have changed. The writer’s Cross.
    Sending Love,
    — Linda
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      July 23, 2014 at 8:10 am

      it’s never really done, is it? Nothing is complete. Perhaps that’s the best part about writing.

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  • Reply
    Jennifer Wolfe
    July 20, 2014 at 4:03 pm

    Sometimes….depends on the piece. I use whisper reading all the time in my classroom for editing, though!
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  • Reply
    Manal The Go Go Girl
    July 20, 2014 at 4:58 pm

    WOW! WOW! No words can make you feel any better especially when you relive that day at the ER..Where are the guards and the police when they are really needed. Can’t begin to imagine your pain in the Emergency Room with Kay 🙁 Hugs

    I never read out loud but I did enjoy listening to yours.
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      July 23, 2014 at 8:13 am

      Perhaps the guards were there because they thought we killed her murderer.

      xxx thank you for visiting me, Manal.
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  • Reply
    July 20, 2014 at 6:19 pm

    Wow! Your voice is magnificent! The husky note, the crispness. I’m in love with your voice! Let me put my literary hat on for a moment and tell you how much I admire your pacing, the use of repetition, the rending humour about the oven. Now taking the hat off I want to tell you how much you move me. No-one, surely, even communicated better the mutual inarticulatenesses of grieving, for those bereaved and those who love them.
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  • Reply
    July 20, 2014 at 6:20 pm

    oops “ever”
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  • Reply
    July 20, 2014 at 8:41 pm

    I always read out loud. But I LOVED hearing your voice!! I feel like I know you in a whole new way now. Thank you for sharing. Xo
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  • Reply
    Choc Chip Uru
    July 20, 2014 at 9:16 pm

    Depends on what I am reading, but I always do read out loud unless it is a proper novel – sometimes I put on accents, sometimes I whisper and sometimes I talk as if I was giving a speech 😛
    Your voice is gorgeous, I could imagine you singing!

    Choc Chip Uru
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  • Reply
    July 21, 2014 at 3:32 am

    Confession: I don’t read my pieces aloud. I don’t like the sound of my own voice 🙂

    I like yours though!
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  • Reply
    July 21, 2014 at 8:07 am

    That was simply amazing, Kim. Both your poem and the perfect way you read it. Extraordinarily moving and beautifully. xxxxx

  • Reply
    July 21, 2014 at 8:08 am

    I mean beautiful.
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  • Reply
    Sebastian Aiden Daniels
    July 21, 2014 at 8:57 am

    I am getting in the habit of reading aloud. It does make it easier for you to delete things. I like writing that makes it seem as if someone is talking to you and I think by reading it aloud helps to achieve this. Thanks for the helpful reminder. Have a great week Kim.
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  • Reply
    Deborah Batterman
    July 21, 2014 at 10:10 am

    I don’t typically read out loud . . . but I do agree that hearing the flow of the words, the trope, the syntax, etc, does wonders for one’s writing.
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  • Reply
    July 21, 2014 at 12:02 pm

    I always read my stuff aloud… Love it!
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  • Reply
    July 21, 2014 at 1:44 pm

    There are times when hearing the words are even more powerful than reading them, and this was one of those times. I read everything I write aloud before I publish – usually more than once. My family has gotten used to it now; they don’t even bother to ask who I’m talking to anymore.
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  • Reply
    July 21, 2014 at 4:42 pm

    Squee! You recorded yourself reading 🙂 Hearing the writer’s voice brings a whole new level to the impact a piece can have. Just today, I cut 1.3k words from a chapter that had 3.4k words. Yikes, but it’s such a better chapter now.
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  • Reply
    Lorraine @ Not Quite Nigella
    July 21, 2014 at 5:32 pm

    That is so interesting Kim! I never thought to read it aloud but I will try that next time! 😀 xxx
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  • Reply
    Jodi @ Heal Now and Forever
    July 22, 2014 at 3:27 am

    I love hearing your voice. I love your words. Each word means a million feelings. I’m so glad to finally hear your voice. Keep being open and raw, you are a minister to all of us.

    I do read out loud and roll over the words in my mouth. I find my errors and keep changing the sentences. Maybe they become better but never enough. Finally I’m done with the piece, just because I am sick of it, but if I went back later, I’d change more.

    Love you!
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  • Reply
    Rita @ The Crafty Expat
    July 22, 2014 at 6:55 am

    Oh Kim, I loved hearing your voice. And how wonderful is your work.
    I do need to read more aloud what I write. But, it is true that I do feel a certain excitement in erasing words.
    P.S: Love the new look of your blog!
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  • Reply
    July 22, 2014 at 7:19 am

    You have a beautiful voice, Kim. I loved hearing you read out loud. And yes, I do the same.

    Snot running down your face is always okay. SO many hugs, my sweet.
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      July 23, 2014 at 8:26 am

      Yes, snot is good. I never knew one could have so much snot and tears.

      Hugs back, Charlotte. xx
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  • Reply
    July 22, 2014 at 7:24 am

    Hi Kim,

    Spoken from the heart with pain, passion, anger and the why the hell of it all. With the verbalisation, you share a poignant message.

    Thanks for letting me know that your revamped site has been completed. Well done and with peace, with hope, I shall reflect…

    Hugs and hope, dear Kim.

    Gary x
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  • Reply
    Corina Ramos
    July 22, 2014 at 11:36 am

    I always read my posts out loud and the fam often think I’m talking to myself :). Happy Tuesday!
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  • Reply
    Doula Training by Doula
    July 22, 2014 at 4:33 pm

    Enjoyed every bit of your article post.Truly looking forward to read more. Really Cool.

  • Reply
    July 22, 2014 at 10:04 pm

    Yes, I do read most of my work out loud and am one of those neurotic types who edits as I write and proofreads multiple times. 🙂 That was such a heart wrenching piece. ♥ Your beautiful voice reflects your pain.
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  • Reply
    Anna @ shenANNAgans
    July 23, 2014 at 4:05 am

    Kim…. You seriously are the coolest chick I have come across in yonks. Love your enthusiasm, I can’t help but smile when I read your posts. Im a big out loud reader, so much so that my colleagues stopped answering and saying whaaaattt …. And only answer when directly spoken too. 🙂 I get someone else to read my posts before I go live to ensure the spelling and grammar are good. Anyways, super post, made my night.
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      July 23, 2014 at 8:52 pm

      Good idea getting somebody else to read your posts.
      I LIKE! An entire new perspective…a new eye. xx
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  • Reply
    Aussa Lorens
    July 23, 2014 at 6:25 am

    I’m always in a rush rush rush to publish a post but I usually do read it aloud at least once. Sometimes in a manic, rushed sort of muttering way 😉
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      July 23, 2014 at 8:52 pm

      you are a girl going in many directions.
      Does the funny farm keep you quite busy? XX
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  • Reply
    Dangerous Linda
    July 23, 2014 at 7:51 am

    Hi, Kim! ~

    Very good advice!

    Yes — I ALWAYS read my stuff aloud before publishing. First, I read it aloud to myself. Then, I read it aloud to Mr. C. 😉

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  • Reply
    Ellen M. Gregg
    July 23, 2014 at 12:12 pm

    I love the new look, dearie. It’s clean and crisp and feminine, and it’s indelibly stamped with you, and Kay.

    Your poem is gorgeous. It’s artful and soulful and can take a listener to the brink of grief’s depths, if they allow it.
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  • Reply
    July 24, 2014 at 10:49 am

    Yup. I read it over and over and make a dozen changes before I publish! I get so pissed when I see something wrong after I hit the publish button!
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  • Reply
    July 25, 2014 at 3:55 am

    When I heard your voice, I heard that inner chick who is fucking unwavering. You are unbelievable my “self talker”
    I admit that I re-read your posts, once in my voice that crackles with the pain you feel, the other with that voice I just heard.
    I love you and then some.
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  • Reply
    Hotly Spiced
    July 25, 2014 at 10:56 pm

    It’s so lovely to hear your voice. You read really well. I don’t read aloud before I publish but I always read my posts several times before I press the publish button. However, if I have to do a speech, I always read my speech aloud.
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  • Reply
    Jennifer Richardson
    July 26, 2014 at 9:38 am

    A whole bouquet of yeses to this brilliance!
    Yes….I feel just that way about deleting.
    Cleansed. Lightened up:)
    thanks for sharing the words my heart so feels,
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  • Reply
    July 26, 2014 at 11:48 am

    When I heard your voice Kim, I felt so close to you. I’ll read your mournings till the end of my time on earth. Cause in every one of your word, I feel that you are raising, despite the pain, the suffering, your inconsolable loss.
    Your words give me hope and help me find peace.

    About reading out loud my posts. I do it nearly every time. I need to find the right words, the ones who will describe my real feelings. I delete a lot. I delete when the rythm is not right. And when I press publish, I feel free.

    Love to you from the over side of the sea. xxxxx

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      July 26, 2014 at 11:57 am

      Sweet, Marie,

      Yes, FREE. I loooooooooove that. This is what words do: Release the darkness. Liberate us. Free Us.
      Love…LOTS of love flowing to you, dear. xxxx
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