For my birthday this year, Mr. Liverpool buys me a ticket for Cher’s tour, Dressed to Kill.
You’ve got that right, sister, the one and only C H E R!
Sonny’s Cher. Mask’s Cher. Slapping Nicholas Cage’s face in Moonstruck’s Cher. Cher dressed in Bob Mackie. Glittered, feathered Cher. Silkwood’s Cher. Cher, whom along with the roaches, would be the only human being to survive a nuclear attack.
Yeah, I kind of jump up and down like a fool with my hands flaying in air.
“Yes! Yes! Yes!”
Another thing to cross off my bucket list along with Madonna, marrying a dude from Great Britain, Vera Wang shoes, & reading War and Peace.
Heee. Just kidding about the War and Peace thingy.
Anyhow, about a month later, Mr. Liverpool informs me that he can’t go with me, that he hadn’t looked at his schedule properly, that he had a soccer tournament on, can you believe, the same day as Cher.
“I’m serious,” he says. Was he? Reeeeally? “Call Jeanie. She’ll go with you.”
Of course,” Jeanie says, “HELL, Yes.”
I book a shuttle to Minneapolis for Thursday the 12th of June… Because if you know me at all, you know my sense of direction is pure and utter shit. Okay, put it this way, if you told me North, I’d ask, “is that right or left—up or down?”
On Tuesday, Mr. Liverpool asks, “What time does the shuttle leave tomorrow?”
“Not tomorrow, Silly. The concert is on Thursday.”
“No, I’m pretty sure it’s tomorrow, Kimmy.”
He was right. Again. I hate when that happens. Hate hate hate.
I change my ticket immediately.
After that particular fiasco, Jeanie calls. “O, Kim, I royally screwed up.”
“What nowwwwww.”
“Cher is at the Target Center. I booked a hotel for us near the Excel Center. We can’t get our money back.”
“How far away are we from Excel?”
“Lets just say, we need to take a train across to Saint Paul.”
“Will it be a long or short ride?”
“Um, long,” she mutters.
It doesn’t matter. We are going to see Cher and it’s her farewell tour. Hell, she’s almost 70 years old. My god, it’s once in a lifetime, baby.
Thus, I’m finally on the shuttle halfway between Duluth & Minneapolis listening to Jodi Picoult’s, The Tenth Circle. It’s about this girl who falsely accuses this guy of raping her because he dumps her.
Right in the middle of a philosophical sentence explaining the emotional motivations of why some idiot would bogusly accuse somebody of raping them, I scream.
Loudly.
The scream gushes from my mouth unexpectedly, abruptly, embarrassedly.
“SHiiiiiIT! Dammit!”
The other passengers turn to stare at me, but nobody says a word. Not a single word. It’s like being stuck in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of assholes rocks.
“Oh, No No No No No!,” I shout. Just incase I wasn’t heard the first time around.
Again, not one person asks me what’s wrong, but I volunteer my dilemma regardless.
“I forgot my Cher ticket! What am I going to do? Who do I call? I can’t believe it.”
Panicking. Loud sighing. The rocks on the shuttle are from the Twilight Zone. I despise all eight of them.
I contact Mr. Liverpool who sends out emails and calls people who call other people who call more people.
::::::::Whew::::::
I’m exhausted.
So….
Jeanie and I walk to the train in pouring rain. It seems to take an eternity to get to where we are going.
My false eyelashes are melting off. My hair is ruined. My lipstick is bleeding.
Unfortunately , we miss half of Cindy Lauper.
…But we see all of Cher. We dance wildly to Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves, If I Could Turn Back Time, & Strong Enough with full glasses of red wine.
By the way, she was FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC.
—–Darlings, who have you seen in concert that rocked your socks off?
Subscribe To My Inner Chick
Never miss an update!
56 Comments
lisa
June 14, 2014 at 4:54 pmSo worth it all, Kim, and I’m so glad you got to see her.
I saw Cher many years ago, and she was amazing.
Rocked my socks off? Tina Turner. OMG how did she get those legs?????
Usher. Three hours forty minutes, and he never stopped once. By the end of it, I was exhausted.
My Inner Chick
June 20, 2014 at 8:23 amLisa,
Tina Turner is on my list, too, but I don’t think she will be touring any time soon. xx
My Inner Chick recently posted..How I Almost Effed Up Seeing Cher
Elephant's Child
June 14, 2014 at 5:18 pmOh wow. I would have been in total meltdown. I am soooooo glad that you did get to see her. 70 years old? Nope. She mastered time travel a long time ago. Several light years and life times ago.
I would love to see her – AND Tina Turner. Feisty magicians both of them.
Elephant’s Child recently posted..Sunday Selections #176
My Inner Chick
June 20, 2014 at 8:24 amSue,
I was having a meltdown. This is the reason the people on the shuttle probably thought I had a mental illness or something. Bastards! xxx
My Inner Chick recently posted..How I Almost Effed Up Seeing Cher
Trish
June 14, 2014 at 5:29 pmI saw Jordan & Andrew LIVE on their bowling alley tour. Unforgettable! :p xoxo
My Inner Chick
June 20, 2014 at 8:25 amHAAAAAAAAAhaaaa.
funny.
btw, where are they playing next!?? xx
My Inner Chick recently posted..How I Almost Effed Up Seeing Cher
Debbie
June 14, 2014 at 5:40 pmAlice Coopers.. Only Women Bleed was a performance with music!
Arrowsmiths ..Permanent Vacation! Stephen Tyler come on!
Love you, say Hi to Jeannie from me next time you see her!
XOXOXOXOXO
My Inner Chick
June 20, 2014 at 8:26 amDebbie,
I actually saw Alice Cooper, too. I think I was about 15. Amazing w/ spiders and stuff like that! WOW. xxxxx
My Inner Chick recently posted..How I Almost Effed Up Seeing Cher
Mike
June 14, 2014 at 5:40 pmOh hun..I would have imploded had I not go to see her!! HUGE Cher fan from the 70’s!! This rocks! Love you 🙂
Mike recently posted..I’m Phoenix, A Golden Retriever: A Lionheart Against Cancer
My Inner Chick
June 20, 2014 at 8:27 amLove you, too, Mike. How is Phoenix? Xxx Think of you both often.
My Inner Chick recently posted..How I Almost Effed Up Seeing Cher
Liz
June 14, 2014 at 6:50 pmOh, my gosh…all the stars were aligned because you made it!!! A concert you’ll never forget…for more than just Cher! Is she really almost 70??? Wow.
Liz recently posted..Crab-Avocado “Ravioli” #FrenchFridayswithDorie #SkinnyTip
My Inner Chick
June 20, 2014 at 8:32 amYeah,
she said on stage, “I look pretty good for 67, right?”
we all screamed HELL, YEAHSsss. xxx
My Inner Chick recently posted..How I Almost Effed Up Seeing Cher
Angie@Angie's Recipes
June 14, 2014 at 7:53 pmSo glad that you made it….It’s worth all the drama :-))
Angie@Angie’s Recipes recently posted..Quinoa Chia Bread (Gluten-free, Vegan)
My Inner Chick
June 20, 2014 at 8:33 amYes,
it was. Life is too short, man. xxxxx
My Inner Chick recently posted..How I Almost Effed Up Seeing Cher
Balroop Singh
June 14, 2014 at 7:57 pmHi Kim,
Your excitement could reach me…very well written! Through your choice of words, you seem to be a teenager! I guess this happens when your lifetime yearning is going to materialise! Did you actually forget your ticket or just added some fantasy to the description to make it more breathtaking?
Balroop Singh recently posted..Father’s Day Reflections…Were You There?
My Inner Chick
June 14, 2014 at 9:39 pmYessssssssssssss.
The ticket was at home next to my telephone!
Mr. Liverpool knew the ticket dudes and they saved me another one by the door. Thank Goodness.
Nothing, unfortunately is FICTIONAL in this story, Balroop!! It is all completely and utterly the truth. Ask Jeanie. xx
My Inner Chick recently posted..How I Almost Effed Up Seeing Cher
Chris Carter
June 14, 2014 at 7:59 pmSo how did you get your ticket??!!! Oh what a CRAZY FIASCO!!! And oh so funny- actually HILARIOUS!! And you surely didn’t give enough details…
Like how did you make it to the hotel afterwards? Was it another long walk in the rain? Train ride? Taxi ride?
And what’s this war and peace thingie that you talk about? Is that something I should be reading? Neh. Just kidding. 😉
GO CHER!!!!
(I can’t stop singing “IF I could turn back time” now… thankyouverymuch.
XOXOXO
SOOO glad you made it to see her!!!! WHEW!
Chris Carter recently posted..For You, Dad
My Inner Chick
June 20, 2014 at 8:49 amChris,
your enthusiasm thrills me!
If you lived closer, we would SO be friends! xxxxx
BTW, the WAR AND PEACE thingy…well, I use it as a table decoration, so I look brilliant and educated! xxxx
My Inner Chick recently posted..How I Almost Effed Up Seeing Cher
Annette Molitor
June 14, 2014 at 8:26 pmWHOA! I’m glad you got to the concert ok after all that. And you can still say she was worth it.
Hugs! annette
nan @ lbddiaries
June 14, 2014 at 8:52 pmI got to see Todd Rundgren (Hello, It’s Me and We Gotta Get You a Woman). With my soon to be drunken ex. Todd was great. The ex? Well, let’s just say we are all glad he’s an EX.
Manal The Go Go Girl
June 14, 2014 at 8:52 pmI CANNOT believe you forgot the tickets..I was a mess just reading about it all..but the end was so well worth it..I’m like Chris, I have so many questions. I love Cyndi Lauper. Did you at least get to hear “Girls just wanna have fun”?
Your husband is a gem! Glad you had a good time:)
lisa thomson-The Great Escape...
June 14, 2014 at 9:27 pmWow, what a fantastic experience. She really is an icon. So glad you were able to recover your ticket. Phew. One of my favorites to see in concert is Dave Matthews Band and also Rod Stewart. Moonstruck is one of my favorite movies!
lisa thomson-The Great Escape… recently posted..The Divorcee’s Guide to Wedding Season, 10 Tips
Debi
June 14, 2014 at 11:23 pmGypsies, Tramps, and Thieves. LOVE. THAT. SONG. How totally fantastic that you got to see her and Madonna. I’m quite jealous. xo
Debi recently posted..It’s Never Too Late to Join the Circus
Vidya Sury
June 15, 2014 at 3:53 amI had my heart in my mouth as I read this Kim! So glad you saw Cher! I think she rocks! Oh man, I loved her in the movie Mermaids. Mmm. Hugggs! I haven’t been to a live concert of a global personality, but yes, have seen many live shows. The atmosphere totally gets me and I definitely cry and laugh at the same time! 😀 Solid adrenalin rush!
(I don’t get your newsletter any more. Glad I follow you on bloglovin’)
Vidya Sury recently posted..I’d Like a Cultural, Romantic City Break, Paris
debbie
June 15, 2014 at 5:01 amLove Cher and idolized her when I was a kid. Beauty, talent, brains…she has it all. So glad you made it there and got to see her….even with the drama!
debbie recently posted..Sauerkraut Latkes
Alison
June 15, 2014 at 6:00 amDrama, honey!
I’m glad you made it to see Cher. Yay!
Alison recently posted..Through The Lens Thursday #24: Deep
Barbara
June 15, 2014 at 7:40 amThis is so goood. So funny! You had me laughing out loud!
I would have to say, seeing Elton John and Billy Joel in concert together (twice!) would be my ‘rock your socks off’ moments.
Funny story about Cher…
A friend of mine is a HUGE fan, like you. She worked for a large newspaper and was able to get tix to see her, AND, a chance to meet her and shake her hand after the concert! It was a rather long receiving line and she was shaking with anticipation. Her husband was trying to calm her down a bit, but when she got to Cher she started sobbing uncontrollably! Cher looked at my friends husband and asked, “Is she ok?” Which made her sob louder!
“She’ll be fine.” he said and shoved his wife along down the line!
xob
Barbara recently posted..Four Years and So Much to Share!
Jann
June 15, 2014 at 8:26 amKim! You made me care about Cher!!! So funny, but whew, you made it. xxxxx
Jann recently posted..Comment on Aeolian Islands Romance: The Stuff of Fiction (& Real Life) by Jann
Corinne Rodrigues
June 15, 2014 at 9:11 amThank goodness, the blog title told me that you did see her! But you still had me on the edge of my seat! 😉
I absolutely love Cher – what a strong, strong woman and a great performer! So glad you made it. Mr Liverpool is a star! 😉
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted..13 Ways To Save Energy When Working From Home
Nikky44
June 15, 2014 at 10:49 amLove you! You make me smile 🙂
London Girl
June 15, 2014 at 11:41 amSounds just like a scene from “Fargo!”…….but glad you made it. Cher is one of the “greats”.
sue williamson
June 15, 2014 at 12:07 pmYou are so funny.
Keep in mind when you find yourself in a pickle in Minneapolis – you have free ride privileges whenever you need them. You only need to call. Don’t stand out in the rain and never forfeit an event – just call!.
Love ya.
Debbie
June 15, 2014 at 12:29 pmAwesome birthday present, Kim — Mr. Liverpool’s star rating just went up a few notches!
Seeing Cher had to be fantastic. She’s such a talent, and she’s still gorgeous, whatever her age!
As for concerts, well I saw the Doobie Brothers and Eddie Rabbitt (not together and a LONG time ago). They were both pretty good, but who can hold a candle to Cher?!? Happy belated birthday, darling 😉
Debbie recently posted..Nearly Wordless Thursday
Tia
June 15, 2014 at 12:44 pmOnly you Kim, Love you!
Choc Chip Uru
June 15, 2014 at 1:41 pmCher is amazing, I absolutely LOVE her songs!
I am so glad you made it though omg!
Cheers
Choc Chip Uru
Choc Chip Uru recently posted..CCU Undercover: Twisted Frozen Yoghurt
Hotly Spiced
June 15, 2014 at 2:16 pmI’m so glad you got there! I’m exhausted just reading about it. I’ve never seen Cher live. What a shame about Cyndi Lauper though – I would have been gutted. It’s very hard to believe Cher is almost 70. When did that happen? xx
Hotly Spiced recently posted..Rick’s Diner, Palmwoods
solidgoldcreativity
June 15, 2014 at 5:10 pmYou make me laugh, Kimmy. Love Cher, esp her distinctive speaking voice. Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves is the best XX
solidgoldcreativity recently posted..Thinking from knowing vs Thinking from being
Lorraine @ Not Quite Nigella
June 15, 2014 at 5:16 pmKim you are brilliant and hilarious. How funny is this line: “Cher, whom along with the roaches, would be the only human being to survive a nuclear attack.” And I’m so relieved that you got to see her in the end!! 😀 xxx
Lorraine @ Not Quite Nigella recently posted..An Eight Course Dessert Degustation With Shangri-la Hotel & Gelato Messina
Gary
June 15, 2014 at 7:42 pmI’ve got you, babe. This is well cool. Thanks for the um, Cher!
Hugs,
Gary x 🙂
Gary recently posted..The Power Of Peaceful Protest.
Yvonne Salvatierra
June 15, 2014 at 11:15 pmWhew! For a minute there I thought you were going to say that you missed the show. That would have been tragic. I saw Cher when she came to Houston back in March. It was an AMAZING show, to say the least! The show that left mesmerized and speechless however, would have to be Paul McCartney and also Billy Joel. Both left me wanting more, giddy and kinda deaf but soooo worth it.
Yvonne Salvatierra recently posted..Friday the 13th -my new favorite non-holiday
TheKitchenLioness
June 16, 2014 at 12:11 amDear Kim, what a day…but it all sounds amazing, Must have been fantastic to be able to attend one of Cher´s concerts – and, yes, I love, love “Monnstruck” as well – did not know that Cher was doing a farewell tour.
You write so beautifully, I was holding my breath when I read this post – fantastic – and so glad that the forgotten ticket was not a major disaster in the end!
Concerts I attended..let´s see, a long time ago I went to listen to Rod Stewart, then Phil Collins (twice) and, yes, The Rolling Stones…long time ago…
Love, Andrea – by the way the picture of Kay, you and your dad that you posted on FB for father´s day is awesome
TheKitchenLioness recently posted..French Fridays with Dorie – Crab-Avocado Ravioli
ladyfi
June 16, 2014 at 7:43 amOh my goodness – at least you didn’t miss Cher! I really enjoyed Lady Gaga last year… this year, I’m taking my daughter to see Katy Perry.
ladyfi recently posted..Swan Lake Abstract
Ellen M. Gregg
June 16, 2014 at 8:09 amOh, my! 😀 Clearly nothing on God’s green Earth was going to stop you from seeing Cher. What a test of faith and endurance and patience and sanity and lipstick!
I’m thrilled you made it, and that it was one of “those” experiences – the kind that makes all the hurdle-jumping worth it.
Shoop-shoop love. 🙂 xoxo
Ellen M. Gregg recently posted..We Live Our Thinking
Debbie
June 16, 2014 at 10:34 amQuite the odyssey! Glad it had a happy ending. 🙂 I love Cher and have seen her in concert several times, with and without Sonny in the 70s and solo again in the 80s. She was great in “Burlesque” don’t you think! She looks marvellous again too, thanks to some better plastic surgery. (For awhile there, she looked a little odd.) Cher is like Rod Stewart when it comes to concerts – no such thing as a bad one.
Oops! Commentluv doesn’t like me today. Says cURL error 28: connect() timed out!
http://thedogladysden.com/2014/06/16/musicmonday-british-invasion-the-troggs/
Rita @ The Crafty Expat
June 16, 2014 at 6:46 pmWow Kim, many adventure before you got there! But, I’m so glad you made it and had a good time!
For me, it’s Pink. There are no words to explain how amazing she was!
Rita @ The Crafty Expat recently posted..Guest post at Expat Focus Blog
Jeri
June 16, 2014 at 10:16 pmMy first concert was Motley Crue and Faster Pussycat when I was in the seventh grade. I’m sure nothing will ever rock my socks like that ever again, but thankfully my socks are a bit more discerning now. Cher is on my list of people I’d like to see along with Willie Nelson, Prince, and Madonna. I’d be happy if I got to see one out of those four. I did see Bob Dylan last summer in Nashville. That was a huge check off my bucket list.
Jeri recently posted..#AuthorInterview: Melissa Reyes
Marie
June 17, 2014 at 1:12 pmWhat an adventure Kim!! You made me laugh out loud (people should have thought I was becoming crazy!!)
I’d love to see Cher and Madonna.
I got the chance to see Beyonce once. I must say this lady rocks! IThe show was incredible.
xxxxxx
Marie recently posted..Inner Voice
Monica
June 18, 2014 at 10:17 pmKim, what a great story. What a wild adventure! I’m so glad you got to see your idol. Sounds like a terrific concert. Cyndi Lauper, too? I absolutely love her. What a voice. You’re probably too young to remember, but I used to watch the Sonny & Cher show. It was so groovy!
Best concert I saw was last year, when I got to see Train at the San Diego County Fair. Man that was fabulous. I was dancing in the aisles. 🙂
Monica recently posted..Misfits & Losers, Part 2
Kimberly
June 19, 2014 at 2:02 amI just about died laughing when I read that your eyelashes melted off. Sweet lord…bwhahaha. That Mr of yours? Something special. He may be a keeper after all 😉
Cher is a hard one to beat. I love her. Remember…well I’m sure that you do…Do you believe? That was a huge club hit when I was whoring it up at the bars. Loved it.
P!NK blew me away. She has an amazing voice and is an amazing entertainer. She’s helped carry me through some really hard times. I remember when I was admitted to the psych ward and her new song was on Much Music. The entire room went silent. When the song was over, this big intimidating dude said “Whoa. That was fucking amazing. Is that a man?”…hahah
Love you xoxo
Kimberly recently posted..The Grey Area
countingducks
June 19, 2014 at 4:49 amI’m glad you got to see her but I have sympathy with the soccer tournament dilemma, being currently engrossed in the World Cup. “Come on Engaland ”
countingducks recently posted..Discussing Captain Crab
Kathy @ SMART Living 365.com
June 20, 2014 at 2:18 pmKim you scared me with this one! I thought for sure you’d lost it all when you screamed!!!! But so glad it worked out for you and that the concert was absolutely amazing. CHECK! (that’s one off the bucket list for sure! ~Kathy
Kathy @ SMART Living 365.com recently posted..Payment Doesnât Always Look Like Money
Alice
June 20, 2014 at 8:55 pmLooks like you still had an incredible time out, regardless of the hiccups and I mean big hiccups!!! I think it’s incredible that your Mr, rose to the challenges and sorted things from his end. How great to know you could rely on your guy! Ps, I think I need to watch Moonstruck again after reading your blog 🙂
Alice recently posted..Turkish Delight Recipe for beginners
Sandra
June 21, 2014 at 5:25 pmThat was so funny!! So happy that you had a chance to rock out. I would have loved to see the reaction of the passengers on the shuttle. Bet that was priceless!
Lana
June 21, 2014 at 11:31 pmWhew…what a journey to see Cher! But it makes the memory even better! I’ve been browsing around your blog a bit – what a powerful, strong blog you have. I’m so sorry for the loss of your sister.
Lana recently posted..The 45 Million Dollar Car
Charlotte
June 25, 2014 at 7:41 amOMG, I am SO VERY HAPPY you were able to see Cher–and all of her, at that. She’s definitely on my bucket list of performers I’d love to see live, too. I mean, living legend doesn’t even cut it, eh?
Sounds like a phenomenal show, even if there were a few hiccups to get there (sometimes they can add to the overall experience, and I’m glad you didn’t let them foil your good time!)
XOXO
Charlotte recently posted..The start of a great summer
Mandy - The Complete Book
July 1, 2014 at 2:03 amBladdy hell, my nerves were shattered just reading about it all Kim! How incredibly awesome is your Mr Liverpool – awesome pressie! Cher nearly 70 – I could only wish to look like that when I was 30!
Have a beautiful day dear Kim.
🙂 Mandy xoxoxo
PS. I unsubscribed and resubscribed. Hope that works, I hate missing out on your posts! I am terrible with twitter and never log on to see what is happening so miss your post links there too!
Mandy – The Complete Book recently posted..In My Kitchen – July 2014