–Sometimes I sit on the couch while watching Parenthood or something like that and imagine it’s all a dream, a nightmare, something ugly I’ll wake up from.
You know those terrifying dreams when you awaken in a cold sweat uttering, “O’ God, O’ God, I’m glad that wasn’t real.”
It. Was. Real.
I imagine you still breathing, smiling, and annoying me with your little idiosyncrasies.
For example, the way you’d clear your throat ever-so-slightly when you were nervous, or when you’d call me at 6:00 in the morning guilting me into a walk on the Waterfront Trail.
“Come on, Kimmie, you know we have lots to talk about. We can count the animals we see!”
Sometimes I pretend nothing happened at all and things are how they used to be.
Our family together, laughing, beautifully imperfect— arguing about who’s the best at Scattogories, or enjoying a huge Italian spaghetti dinner.
An ordinary life can be abundantly extraordinary. I knew it then and I know it now.
I miss the completeness of it, the wholeness of it.
I miss the person I was when you were here.
It’s astonishing how one can breathe in partial segments.
Without you, nothing quite connects or fits the way it should.
Even the sun shines differently—A different shade of gold. A different kind of heat.
Sometimes I try to forget that single phone call that changed my life.
“The police are surrounding your sister, Kay’s house. Do you know what’s going on?”
Yes. I knew immediately.
He fucking killed you.
I always knew he’d kill you.
I knew from the beginning.
I knew instinctually as a cat knows her prey—the way her fur rises when there’s danger.
Sometimes I try to make myself go back to May 25th 2010.
When we were talking about your new life, a better life, a life without your murderer.
Sometimes nothing stays the same.
——–The Kay Marie Sisto Walk To End Domestic Violence will be on May 31st on the Waterfront Trail. Info Below & Our Wish List. xxxX
—20-25 prizes for our brown bag ticket area. (several people already donated)
–Sound system $150
–Park Permit $120
–TV ads $225
–Billboard $410 – $910 ( Paid)
Get Help Today For Any Kind of Abuse: http://www.thehotline.org/blog/get-help-today/
Sign up for Kay’s Walk Here: http://www.theduluthmodel.org/index.htm
——-NOTE: Please “LIKE” MY Inner Chick’s Facebook Page Above. thank you.