In Memory of Kay

1159 Days


 

–Here is one of the worst things about having someone you
love die: It happens again every single morning.—Anna Quindlen

–2010–Sweet Kay.

It’s been 1159 days since your murder.

 

It’s been a micro second.
It’s been a lifetime.  It’s been a
helltime.

 

Shadows.
Loneliness.  Dark breezes blowing
thru open windows.  Unsharpened claws.

 

I remember what I was wearing when I got the call.

 

Ripped black shorts.
An Old Navy tank top.  Half of my toenails
were polished powder blue.

 

I was listening to Pillars of the Earth on my headset.

 

I couldn’t walk or drive,  so Andrew drove me to your house.

 

Mustard yellow tape.
Rows of cars like a procession.  Police
sprinting.  Strangers staring.

 

I laid on your newly mown lawn staring at a dull sun, a
hollow sky.  I couldn’t get back up.  I couldn’t breathe.

 

I remember everything.
I remember nothing.

 

I know what a zombie feels like.  I know what it feels like to be dead.

 

The hospital was colorless, sterile,  blurred,
ugly.

 

There were fake smiles, plastic words.  I couldn’t hear anything except my own
heartbeat.

 

THUMP:::THUMP:::THUMP

 

The smell of cheap coffee, cigarettes, night breath, rubbing
alcohol.

 

I gazed at your still beautiful face waiting for you to wake
up.

 

Wake up…Wake up…Wake the fuck up.

 

But you didn’t.

I walked in circles uttering……’help help help please please
please’

 

I wanted—I needed…

 

Wine.  Vodka.  Pills.  Poetry.
Sunshine.  Yesterday. God.  You.

 

Something to numb the pain, the inexplicable, unexplainable
pain of your absence.

 

Nothing erased the pain.

 

You had clumped mascara on your lashes, crimson lipstick
smeared on your lips.  You had a pink
rubber band holding your hair in a pony tail.
You were wearing your “mom” necklace Aaron bought for Mother’s Day.

 

But you were already slipping away, the heat already leaving
your body…your soul rising up like angel wings.

 

I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you

 

I can’t go on.  I
can’t live.  I can’t die.

 

Why can’t I die?  I asked
myself that question for two years.

 

I don’t know what time we left the hospital,  but all of a sudden I was sitting on my own
couch, a new reality.

 

And I don’t know how I arrived here today, but I must be
alive because I hear my heart pounding outside my chest.

 

It’s been 1159 since he murdered you, but he’s been
murdering you for years, hasn’t he?

 

I screamed and prayed from a bottomless core inside, a
hidden core inside with roots and blood and organs and pulses and guts and memories— which
nobody knows about until the unimaginable happens to them.

 

A core that reveals who you truly are, who the universe
is,  and mostly,

 

Who God is.

 

He Is.

 

He Is–

 

Who He says He is.

 

This explains why I’m still breathing—Why sunlight still
melts on my skin—Why moonlight still burns though darkness—Why the world still
spins…

 

Without you.


–My soul-mate, best friend,  & sister, Kay, was murdered on May 26, 2010 by her soon to be ex-husband.  This doesn’t need to happen to you.  Please please please read the safety plan below. —

 

xxXx

 

—-An important note I didn’t know:   When a woman decides to leave her abuser,
stalker, whatever you want to call him,  it’s
the most DANGEROUS time for her. I didn’t know that.  Kay didn’t know that. Did you?
Here Is A Safety Plan For You_

 

 


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127 Comments

  • Reply
    Adriana Boatwright (@AdrianaIris)
    July 30, 2013 at 4:05 pm

    Your words,,, I can hear them echo through the universe. All my love.
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      August 2, 2013 at 8:10 am

      Dear A,
      I thank you for all of your support during my dark days. Xx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..1159 DaysMy Profile

  • Reply
    Beverly Diehl
    July 30, 2013 at 4:08 pm

    I just read another story about a woman who was killed by her husband because she told him she was leaving him, and she refused having sex “one last time.” Her 15 year old son tried to save her and was stabbed, too, though he will survive.

    Please, if you are planning to leave someone who “only” abuses you verbally/emotionally, do NOT take your safety for granted. Even if you only have “a weird feeling,” TRUST IT.

    Kim, thank you for sharing your pain, hoping it will help one woman (or man) avoid the same thing.
    Beverly Diehl recently posted..Who Are You? Who Who, Who Who?My Profile

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      August 2, 2013 at 8:11 am

      Beverly,
      Kay’s husband was not a typical abuser…he saved “all of that” until the very end..

      Xxx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..1159 DaysMy Profile

  • Reply
    Sandra
    July 30, 2013 at 4:24 pm

    Powerful words from a strong sister. You always choose the right words to convey your feelings. Hugs….
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  • Reply
    Dad
    July 30, 2013 at 4:44 pm

    I remember what I was wearing that day too, shorts, a tank top, and sneakers without socks on.
    I just got done mowing the lawn, and was waiting for Kay to come over to go for a walk.
    Jordon left my house first, and about two minutes later he called me and said come over
    right away, I knew what happen, I heard it in his voice. It was the worst day in my life.
    LOVE YOU
    DAD

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      August 1, 2013 at 9:24 am

      Daddy,
      it was the worst day of my life, too.
      I thank GOD for you.
      I love you more than the moon. Xxx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..1159 DaysMy Profile

      • Reply
        Carrie
        August 4, 2013 at 1:08 am

        I just want to give you and your dad a great big hug and not let go.
        Once again a beautiful heart wrenching tribute to Kay.
        I am putting a link up on my site if that’s ok.
        There are a few women on there who need to read this, and I am sure it will save lives.
        Hugs
        Carrie

  • Reply
    Debi Pasricha
    July 30, 2013 at 4:46 pm

    “Wine. Vodka. Pills. Poetry.
    Sunshine. Yesterday. God. You.” Oh, the yearning for yesterday can be felt so thick in this. The waking up and having her be murdered every morning. Bless you for still living, for sharing, for loving Kay so much that your love reaches out to all of us as well. Xo
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      August 2, 2013 at 8:12 am

      Debi,
      I’d give almost anything to have yesterday back back back in my arms. Xxx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..1159 DaysMy Profile

  • Reply
    debbie
    July 30, 2013 at 4:56 pm

    Kim, your writing is just a straight hit to the heart. So gut wrenching and truthful. Just keep writing. I sometimes feel like I am on this journey with you through your writing…….
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      August 2, 2013 at 8:12 am

      Debbie,
      writing has saved me. Words have been my prayer. Xxx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..1159 DaysMy Profile

  • Reply
    lisa thomson
    July 30, 2013 at 5:13 pm

    How beautiful your poems are. They are someone’s life raft right this minute. Someone who has lost a loved one to violence. I am getting my kleenex now, too. Thank you for sharing the Safety Plan. It is critical for women to understand the dangers when a marriage ends.
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  • Reply
    Jen
    July 30, 2013 at 5:57 pm

    It’s never ceases to amaze how feeling nothing can hurt so freaking much.
    I understand how very painful this journey is for you and am touched by your love and devotion and your strong strong faith.. Lift your face to the sun my friend. You and your sister will be together again one day in another life…this i believe.

    xoxo
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      August 2, 2013 at 9:06 am

      Jen,
      seeing Kay again keeps me moving forward. I have SO much to tell her. Xxx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..1159 DaysMy Profile

  • Reply
    Liz
    July 30, 2013 at 6:17 pm

    My heart aches as I read your words and feel your pain. You are a blessing. You are helping. You are saving lives. Thank you.
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      August 2, 2013 at 9:06 am

      Ohhh, Liz,
      I pray my words and Kay’s murder will save other women. Xx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..1159 DaysMy Profile

  • Reply
    vanita
    July 30, 2013 at 6:26 pm

    when i was a teenager, i had an abusive boyfriend. i tried to leave him many times. i have a scar on my cheek from the last time i tried to leave, that time when he cut me with a box cutter. i never tried to leave again girl. the threats of more scars on my face was too scary. after 3 years he finally moved on to another girl. and i thanked god. each time i visit your blog, i thank god again. hugs to you girlfriend. thank you for sharing this plan. hoping my sharing your post can get that plan into hands that need it. love to you sweeti.
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      August 2, 2013 at 9:07 am

      Vanita,
      so glad you left your abuse…your voice was meant to be heard by many.. Xxx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..1159 DaysMy Profile

  • Reply
    Blond Duck
    July 30, 2013 at 6:46 pm

    I can’t imagine what hell you’re in.
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  • Reply
    Elle
    July 30, 2013 at 6:53 pm

    I recognize that anguish, that pain. My heart sits with yours dear one.

    I have no words.

    Elle
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      August 2, 2013 at 9:08 am

      –Sometimes words are so inadequate, aren’t they?

      After Kay’s murder, my favorite people just hugged me without talking.

      Xxx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..1159 DaysMy Profile

  • Reply
    Britton Swingler
    July 30, 2013 at 7:16 pm

    Kim…I am so sorry for your loss. My sister, who passed away 9 years ago, was my soul-mate as well. I wish that time could heal all wounds, but it doesn’t. I cherish my memories, as I know you do as well. Sending you love.
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      August 2, 2013 at 9:09 am

      Britton,
      I’m glad you said “time does not heal’ it is honest and utterly true.
      So sorry about your soul-mate. Xxx LOVE.
      My Inner Chick recently posted..1159 DaysMy Profile

  • Reply
    Vidya Sury
    July 30, 2013 at 8:17 pm

    Kim, Hugs! It feels like an out of body experience to remember what I was wearing, feeling, my head full of stuff to tell my Mom when we received the news that her heart had failed at the hospital. We literally stumbled as we went about doing the things we had to. You know, I have been lucky with the men in my life. But my Mom wasn’t. She was in an abusive marriage from age 13. The sad thing was she did not know she could walk away, what with tradition and all that crap. She allowed her legs to be used as an ash tray, silently. She was quiet when she was pushed down the staircase….slogging like a slave in that house. Thankfully, that phase only lasted 5 years, after which I was born. At some point, we were lucky to be thrown out of that house and somehow made our way back to my Grandmother’s house. You know that story.

    I am so grateful for what I have today. I feel your pain. It is so frustrating to lose a part of you. Please know I love you.

    Hugs and kisses, Vidya
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      August 2, 2013 at 9:12 am

      Vidya,
      I love you more than chocolate melting on graham crackers. Xxxx

      blowing kisses to you in India.
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  • Reply
    nan @ lbddiaries
    July 30, 2013 at 9:03 pm

    You cut straight to the heart – as usual.
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      August 2, 2013 at 9:13 am

      Nan,
      I do not know any other way, dear. Xxx LOVE. When can we talk?
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  • Reply
    Monica
    July 30, 2013 at 11:14 pm

    Your words to Kay are always so poignant, but I just read your father’s comment and it’s heart wrenching. Mowing the lawn, wearing sneakers without socks. It’s these little, inane things that we remember when our hearts are being ripped out. I’m so sorry, Kim.
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      August 2, 2013 at 9:13 am

      –I suppose one ALWAYS remembers the darkest day of one’s life.

      This was our 9-11.

      Xxx LOVE to you, dear Monica.
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  • Reply
    Don
    July 31, 2013 at 12:40 am

    I found your blog by clicking on your name in a comment you posted on one of the posts on Yvonne’s blog.

    How heart-wrenching it must have been to write this post about such a horrible experience.

    HUGS!

  • Reply
    Ginger
    July 31, 2013 at 4:01 am

    I just love you.

  • Reply
    lisa
    July 31, 2013 at 5:03 am

    Your words always so touch my heart, Kim.
    Sending hugs your way. xo.

  • Reply
    Goodness and Grit
    July 31, 2013 at 6:00 am

    You are my favorite writer period. I feel, smell, taste, see, and hear each and every word you write.

    Klem,
    Kimberly

  • Reply
    Mandy - The Complete Cook Book
    July 31, 2013 at 6:36 am

    <3 <3 <3
    🙂 Mandy xoxoxo
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  • Reply
    TheKitchenLioness
    July 31, 2013 at 6:52 am

    Kim, I admire your strength – your words are so powerful and important! Amazing how you are able to convey your most inner thoughts and feelings!
    Love your blog, dear Kim – you are a fascinating woman!
    XO, Andrea
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      August 2, 2013 at 10:21 am

      Lioness / Andrea,
      thank you for reading my mourning pages. I pray other women will be saved…I wish KAY would have been saved. I wish I wish…

      xxx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..1159 DaysMy Profile

  • Reply
    Ellen M. Gregg
    July 31, 2013 at 7:20 am

    Kim, I read your words and I see music rolling out as though from an elegant player piano – your soul song. The pain of loss and all your life’s memories are mostly confined to the treble clef, except on the darkest days. The bass clef is your base, your constant. It’s the foundation of your life song, where God and love reside; steady and strong. It’s where the beat of your heart is joined, even now, by the beat of Kay’s heart; beautiful, poignant, eternal. xoxo

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      August 2, 2013 at 10:39 am

      Ellen,
      your words surprise and move me to the edge.

      Xxx LOVE.
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  • Reply
    Brenda
    July 31, 2013 at 8:01 am

    As always, my friend, your love stands me still. I am never certain of my words or what to say other than you are a wonderful person.
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      August 2, 2013 at 10:40 am

      Brenda,
      I like the visual of you standing still. Lovely. Xx
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  • Reply
    Valentine Logar
    July 31, 2013 at 8:32 am

    There is nothing to say, but my arms are wrapped around you so you know you are loved. My voice rises with you so Kay also knows, you are loved. You are here because your voice is needed, here on earth so there aren’t more Kay’s; she knows you hurt but she wraps you in love and sends us all to help with the work left for you.

    I love you.

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      August 2, 2013 at 10:40 am

      I feel your arms, Val. I hug back tightly.

      Love you, too. Xx
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  • Reply
    Jann
    July 31, 2013 at 9:17 am

    Ah, Kim, your poetry always leaves me breathless. You’re saving women’s lives with it, besides touching your readers at the most profound level. Blowing kisses your way, carissima. xxxxxxx

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      August 2, 2013 at 10:41 am

      Kisses flowing to Sicily this very moment, Sweet Jann. Xx
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  • Reply
    Elisabeth Kinsey
    July 31, 2013 at 10:34 am

    Wow – am crying. Very moved and I hope this reaches people who need help. I have a best friend sister who has left me mentally. It’s a part of me that wishes and wishes, longs for the previous person back. I am so sorry for your loss and know of that everyday surprise.

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      August 2, 2013 at 11:08 am

      Elisabeth,
      sorry about your sister. Mentally can be just as difficult as Physically.

      I hope you reconnect, dear. Life is TOO short. Xx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..1159 DaysMy Profile

  • Reply
    elizabeth
    July 31, 2013 at 11:24 am

    Dear Kim,

    I read your words and my heart breaks for you and your family over and over again. love you, my friend. xoxo
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      August 2, 2013 at 11:08 am

      Love you, too.
      thank you for all of your unbelievable support, e. Xx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..1159 DaysMy Profile

  • Reply
    Barbara
    July 31, 2013 at 12:13 pm

    My mother had so many near misses with horrible men. Men who beat her, and me. It’s important to know the laws in your area. Some places are still so backward, and knowing how it works is critical to getting away. I hope anyone who’s in a bad situation, or loves someone in a bad situation, will read this , heed your plan, and stay alive.
    We’ve come a long way, but still so far to go.
    You are doing such important work here, and I truly admire you.
    xob
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      August 2, 2013 at 11:09 am

      Thank you for reading, b.
      Yes, we have a long way to go…the first step is ((AWARENESS)))

      I have learned much of this too late.. xx
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  • Reply
    Hotly Spiced
    July 31, 2013 at 2:17 pm

    Such a shocking and dreadful time for everyone in your family and that quote from Anna Quindlan is so true. Your words so very powerfully let us know the magnitude of your loss xx
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      August 2, 2013 at 11:10 am

      You know what, Charlie?

      I find it amazing how the body and mind can keep going forward.

      AMAZING.

      Xx
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  • Reply
    Charlene Ross
    July 31, 2013 at 4:13 pm

    Your words are always so heartbreakingly beautiful Kim.

    “I wanted—I needed…

    Wine. Vodka. Pills. Poetry.
    Sunshine. Yesterday. God. You.”

    I do believe your Sylvia Plath would have been quite a fan of yours, my friend. As always, my heart breaks for you, my sweet and beautiful friend.

    Please know that you are definitely helping others. I can feel it in my bones.

    xoxo
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      August 2, 2013 at 11:10 am

      –sending you love and appreciation, sweet Charlene. Xx
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  • Reply
    Rossandra White
    July 31, 2013 at 4:24 pm

    So sad for you Kim. Sending you much love.
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      August 2, 2013 at 11:11 am

      Thank you, Rossandra.

      I love, love.

      Xx Sending some your way, too. xx
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  • Reply
    Lorraine @ Not Quite Nigella
    July 31, 2013 at 6:24 pm

    This is so beautiful and raw Kim, your pain is palpable-a monster took your best friend and soul mate and she should never be forgotten. *BIG HUGS* and love xxx
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      August 2, 2013 at 1:49 pm

      Yes,
      I do call him a monster. It’s quite apt. Xxx
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  • Reply
    solidgoldcreativity
    July 31, 2013 at 7:31 pm

    So powerful, so visceral, Kim. The power is shocking. Her pink hair band, and this “I screamed and prayed from a bottomless core inside, a hidden core inside with roots and blood and organs and pulses and guts and memories— which nobody knows about until the unimaginable happens to them.” Unforgettable. Terrible. All my love and awe, Narelle xxx
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  • Reply
    Rita
    July 31, 2013 at 11:00 pm

    This is such a terrible tragedy… I had goose bumps all the way while I was reading… Thinking of you…
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      August 2, 2013 at 1:50 pm

      Rita,
      I appreciate you reading my mourning pages. xx
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  • Reply
    Alison
    July 31, 2013 at 11:45 pm

    I will always mourn with you, my friend. xoxo
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      August 2, 2013 at 1:51 pm

      Alison Lee,
      you’ve been there the entire time. Thank you. Xxx
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  • Reply
    Blond Duck
    August 1, 2013 at 3:57 am

    I hope you have a good weekend!
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  • Reply
    Ms. CrankyPants
    August 1, 2013 at 7:30 am

    Heart wrenching.
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  • Reply
    ladyfi
    August 1, 2013 at 8:58 am

    Your raw words – tear a hole in the universe. Thank you.
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      August 2, 2013 at 2:25 pm

      tear a hole in the universe.)))

      I like that, Lady Fi. Xx
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  • Reply
    countingducks
    August 1, 2013 at 9:58 am

    I can never read posts like these you write so brilliantly and so fluidly without feeling sick that someone so precious and loved as your sister is, and was, should have been ripped from your side and our world by the actions of some horrific mad man. I cannot begin to understand, as a father, what would possess someone to act as he did, or what means he used to involve her in his life. Knowing you, even slightly, as I do, and Mr Liverpool and the boys I simply could not imagine nicer people, and I know your sister was cut from the same cloth. How this nightmare entered your lives I cannot imagine but, even from this distance I feel wretched about it. I always say this. Your enduring love for her, and the way you keep her with us, is something so powerful and impressive that I am beyond admiration for you. I know I am far from alone. God Bless you always, you precious person. xxx
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  • Reply
    Wild Child Mama
    August 1, 2013 at 12:55 pm

    The safety plan is full of useful information. I imagine I will be able to share it with some women I may be working with in the future. An incredible resource. THank you for sharing it.
    Your story makes me cry, makes me angry, makes me mourn every single time. You are so strong, so powerful. THank you for writing and writing and writing and sharing.
    xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
    Kjersti
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      August 2, 2013 at 2:26 pm

      Kjersti,
      I shall be telling Kay’s story forever and ever…

      so glad you can share this…

      Xxxxxx LOVE))))
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  • Reply
    Sandra
    August 1, 2013 at 3:33 pm

    You help SO MANY women when you pour your heart and soul out so selflessly. You give me courage to continue telling my story. I recently received an email from someone who told me to stop writing about my own experience, that bad things happen to everyone, and I need to get up, stop it, and move on. Then I read you, and I know that the healing never really occurs. The pain is there as a reminder that we are still alive.
    You help so many women when you share you life Kim. I, and hundreds of other women, thank you.
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      August 2, 2013 at 2:30 pm

      A suggestion to the person telling you to: **** stop writing about your own experience, that bad things happen to everyone, and you need to get up, stop it, and move on.****

      I would tell them nicely and calmly, “Fuck You, Madam.” Or give me their email. Haaa

      Anyhow….Yes, that’s exactly what I’d say.

      Keep writing. Keep healing. Keep loving. Keep expressing. Xxxxx
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  • Reply
    Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell
    August 1, 2013 at 7:36 pm

    I guess it makes sense that the danger would increase when they felt they might be losing the person. I was holding my breath while I read this. It was powerful!
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      August 2, 2013 at 2:31 pm

      Liz,
      I know. It makes complete sense. This is the reason I feel embarrassed that I did not know this most crucial detail…

      Xxxx
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  • Reply
    Carolyn Hughes
    August 2, 2013 at 9:47 am

    Your words touch my heart every single time. Your courage in facing the events as that took place is astonishing. I am sure that anyone who is in an abusive situation and is ignoring the possibility that this tragedy could happen to them will be thinking again. Behind the heartbreak of your post is such an important message – it’s essential that women who are thinking of leaving their abusive partners have a plan to keep themselves safe.
    Kay is now at peace and safe in God’s arms. But she lives on through your heart and through your words. God Bless You. XXX
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      August 2, 2013 at 2:32 pm

      Kay is in GOD’S arms. I have absolutely– unequivocally no doubt about that….this is what spurs me onward, Carolyn.

      Xxx LOVE.
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  • Reply
    ed p
    August 2, 2013 at 5:44 pm

    after you wrote i couldn’t get back up. i couldn’t breathe, i had to take a moment to take in that scene.
    it’s always a magnificent orchestra of love and soul from you to kay.
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      August 2, 2013 at 6:42 pm

      eddie,
      thank you for reading my mourning, dear. Xxx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..1159 DaysMy Profile

  • Reply
    Annette Molitor
    August 2, 2013 at 10:08 pm

    Dear Kim,

    your words are as bold as brass, your heart felt pain is sharper than the fillet knife I accidentally cut myself with, the power of your words more powerful than the most beautiful blast of lightening during a thunder storm, your love deeper than the deepest part of Lake Superior.

    Blessings! annette

  • Reply
    Renee A. Schuls-Jacobson
    August 3, 2013 at 7:40 am

    Thinking of you during your darkest days. Always.
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      August 3, 2013 at 8:12 am

      Thank you, Renee.

      How are you, dear? I miss you. xx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..1159 DaysMy Profile

  • Reply
    Tempest
    August 3, 2013 at 11:02 pm

    Television and movies make scenes like this seem so commonplace. It happens, and then the healing begins, tra la la. The reality is so different.
    I’m so very sorry for your devastating loss.
    Tempest recently posted..Healing the RiftMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      August 4, 2013 at 8:39 am

      Tempest,
      thank you for reading. Awareness is EVERTHING. X

  • Reply
    A Very Important Message to All Women In An Abusive Relationship | Ladywithatruck's Blog
    August 4, 2013 at 2:31 am

    […] http://new.myinnerchick.com/2013/07/30/1159-days/ Rate this:Share this:FacebookLinkedInStumbleUponRedditGoogle +1TumblrPinterestPrintEmailLike this:Like Loading… This entry was posted in Narcissism by Carrie Reimer. Bookmark the permalink. […]

  • Reply
    Lexi
    August 4, 2013 at 11:20 pm

    What an amazing tribute to her, heartfelt. Moved so much by your post. Thank you for sharing, God bless you

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      August 5, 2013 at 9:19 am

      Thank you for reading, Lexi. It is appreciated and bringing “AWARENESS” is so important. Xx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..1159 DaysMy Profile

  • Reply
    Hilary
    August 5, 2013 at 4:00 am

    Kim, I am sending you a huge virtual hug…..
    Hilary recently posted..Be mine, by taking our timeMy Profile

  • Reply
    LaTonya
    August 5, 2013 at 6:23 am

    I know this. I know so many women abused and killed. My co-worker was killed a few months ago. She didn’t know. She didn’t have a plan as far as we know.

    Thanks for continuing to speak out. SHOUT GIRL. SHOUT.

    Thank you,
    LaTonya recently posted..Reader-Friendly: Blog design & aestheticsMy Profile

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      August 5, 2013 at 9:21 am

      LaTonya,
      oh, I am so sorry to hear about your friend.

      I cannot stress how IMPORTANT it is to get the word out there. I believe if my family would have known some of these facts, Kay may still be alive.

      Thank you. Xx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..1159 DaysMy Profile

  • Reply
    Lady Jennie
    August 5, 2013 at 8:14 am

    Sending you love, Kim. That’s all I can do. 🙁
    Lady Jennie recently posted..Where the Chips May FallMy Profile

  • Reply
    Jodi @ Heal Now and Forever
    August 5, 2013 at 10:40 am

    Kim,
    I talk to Kay sometimes, just because you connected me to her.
    xo
    Jodi

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      August 5, 2013 at 10:47 am

      oOooo,
      that is the most beautiful statement I’ve heard in a long time, Jodi. I LOVE.Xxxx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..1159 DaysMy Profile

  • Reply
    Angie@Angie's Recipes
    August 6, 2013 at 11:42 am

    o Kim, it hurts to read about this post….I can feel your love to your sister and the pain of not having her around…. (((HUG)))
    Angie@Angie’s Recipes recently posted..Broad Bean Salad with Feta and AlmondsMy Profile

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      August 6, 2013 at 1:40 pm

      Thanks for reading my mourning/morning pages, Angie. x
      My Inner Chick recently posted..1159 DaysMy Profile

  • Reply
    Debbie
    August 6, 2013 at 1:54 pm

    This is hauntingly beautiful, Kim. When I was a reporter, we did a series of article on domestic violence, so yes, I did know that the moment a woman decides to leave her abuser is the most dangerous time of all for her. I’m so sorry your dear sister was one of far-too-many victims. It’s hard to reconcile the passing of the days with her absence, isn’t it? I imagine that’s true of anybody who’s taken from us suddenly, but especially true when the one taken is so young. Hugs and prayers for you!
    Debbie recently posted..Dare to Stand OutMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      August 6, 2013 at 3:30 pm

      Debbie,
      love when you visit me.
      I didn’t know you were a reporter. COOL.
      Hugs back. Xxx

  • Reply
    Elephant's Child
    August 6, 2013 at 8:27 pm

    Hurting for you, hurting with you. Now and always.

  • Reply
    Unknown Mami
    August 7, 2013 at 8:34 pm

    You always reach right into my heart.

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      August 8, 2013 at 6:43 am

      Mami,
      thank you for reading my mourning pages. Xxx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..1159 DaysMy Profile

  • Reply
    Blond Duck
    August 8, 2013 at 5:07 pm

    Happy Thursday!
    Blond Duck recently posted..If you give a mouse a keyboard…My Profile

  • Reply
    marie
    August 9, 2013 at 10:49 am

    The day I decided not to come back home, not to let this man I once loved destroyed me even more,I tend to think Kay ‘s Soul protected me, told me things would be allright , leaving was my chance and I should not wait.
    I can’t imagine the shock of this day. But what I know is that your words are saving women ,LOVE TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.
    LOVE LOVE LOVE

  • Reply
    Leslie Asbill
    August 9, 2013 at 7:49 pm

    My sister Lisa was murdered in 2005 by her husband. The police said she was putting on her shoes with a bag packed and it looked as if she was leaving when he shot her twice. Once in the throat and once in the heart. Tomorrow would be her 53rd birthday had she lived. I remember where I was when my brother called. His voice was strange in my ear and I couldn’t put the words together and process what he was telling me, that Lisa had been killed. We were on the freeway and I screamed at my then abusive husband, and now ex, to pull over; I had to throw up. Not a day goes by that she doesn’t enter my thoughts. If only we’d seen something or known something and could have helped. My family has dedicated a Facebook group in her memory to provide resources, information and support to anyone who may be in an abusive situation or knows someone who is. It is Stop Domestic Violence – Lisa’s Page. I’m so sorry for your loss, nobody should have to go through this and this madness has to stop and will only stop if we keep talking about it. Bless you and your family.

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      August 9, 2013 at 8:37 pm

      Leslie,
      My heart breaks for you.
      I have so many “What Ifs.”
      what if I would have broken all of his fingers.
      what if I would have called the police from the very beginning.
      what if what if what if.
      Kay is the first person I think of when I awaken. Her beautiful face. I miss her so much.
      I will be thinking of you tomorrow…thinking of Lisa.
      Xxxx LOVE.
      I will go over to Lisa’s page…

  • Reply
    josiejolene
    August 21, 2013 at 2:48 pm

    I’ve just read this and it has almost made me cry. I was a victim of domestic violence before I left my husband of 11 years almost five years ago. I was so very lucky because there was an occasion (after I left him) that he came back into the flat in which we lived and I honestly thought that I wouldn’t get out alive. I can not imagine the pain that you must have gone through, are still going through and I am so very, very, very grateful that my friends and family do not have to suffer the same fate. There but for the grace of god go I. Thank you for sharing, your words really moved me. If you can raise awareness and save just one person, you have done a wonderful thing. My very best wishes xx

  • Reply
    Girl with a New Life
    August 22, 2013 at 8:29 am

    “Wine. Vodka. Pills. Poetry.
    Sunshine. Yesterday. God. You.”

    This was beautiful.
    Girl with a New Life recently posted..Writing is Scary: Talking to Your BlogMy Profile

  • Reply
    Tinsel & Tine
    August 25, 2013 at 9:23 am

    I’m so glad you have a place to mourn and do something constructive to help other victims. Your blog is wonderful and I’m sure your sister is very proud of you!

    Thanks for having visited my blog and leaving your uplifting comment!
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