In Memory of Kay

Once Upon A Time…

~~Once upon a time there was a beautiful girl named
Kay.  She looked like a movie star, but I
didn’t mind,  because I loved loved loved


She was my best friend,
my soul mate, my secret keeper,  my
chocolate chip cookie maker, my blood, my root.


She was everything.


And that’s the entire truth.


Then one day she met a man who promised her the world, a
better life, true love.  He was older. He
was wiser.  She thought he was a fucking rock


But he turned out to be nothing at all.


She married him regardless, but he was never a husband.


She had three baby boys, but he was never a father.


“He crushes my soul,”
she’d often say.  “How can
somebody walk around with a crushed soul the rest of her life?”


I never trusted him.  No.
Never.  Ever.


We moved all of his guns over to our parents house when he
wasn’t home.  Hid them high.




Something else insidiously strong.


We have these inside for a reason.


But it wasn’t enough.


He found another gun. He would have always found another
gun, another way to control her, another way to prevent her from becoming whole.


He took everything from the very beginning.


Her self-belief, dreams, hopes, soul, laughter, and in the

Her life.


~~Once upon a time there was a remarkable, radiant girl
named Kay.


Our roots twisted and tangled together like hair flying in


She was everything.


But three years ago,
her soon to be ex- husband shot her three times in the head as she was
walking out the front door.


Just like that.


Bang      Bang.      Bang.


How fragile the human body is.  How unspeakably breakable.


She was here—then she was gone.


A life snuffed out that quickly…like blowing out a brilliant


like removing the sun and replacing it with night.


~~It is a healing experience being part of the KAY MARIE SISTO MEMORIAL WALK to END domestic violence:  **Saturday, May 31st 2014 @ 11:00 AM on the Waterfront Trail**

Click Here To Register


~~~~Get Help NOW for Verbal Abuse, Emotional Abuse, Sexual Abuse, Physical Abuse–800-799-SAFE (7233) or at TTY 1-800-787-3224. PLEASE Do Not Wait One. More. Solitary. Day.

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  • Reply
    Dangerous Linda
    May 14, 2013 at 11:25 am


    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 17, 2013 at 4:41 am

      XXxOOOxxOOOxxxx LOVE.

  • Reply
    Adriana Boatwright (@AdrianaIris)
    May 14, 2013 at 11:45 am

    Love that picture she looks beautiful like a movie star.
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    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 17, 2013 at 4:42 am

      –Yes. I agree. She really never changed. Xx

  • Reply
    Amy Fagan
    May 14, 2013 at 11:58 am

    This was painfully beautiful. Love you, Kim.

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 17, 2013 at 4:42 am

      Love you back, Amy. Xx

  • Reply
    Beverly Diehl
    May 14, 2013 at 12:14 pm

    She was close. He was more like a fucking rock, without the star.

    She was beautiful and incredible should still be here, to share the chocolate chip love. Hugs and healing to all.
    Beverly Diehl recently posted..Sex and the Differently-AbledMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 17, 2013 at 4:43 am

      The top sentence is true. He was a rock who contributed NOTHING. Xxx LOVE.

  • Reply
    May 14, 2013 at 12:40 pm

    That picture of Kay is gorgeous. Looks like that along with her spirit would light up anyone’s world.

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 17, 2013 at 4:43 am

      –The thing that Kay would be happy with, Sandra, is that she is still lighting up the world…


  • Reply
    Choc Chip Uru
    May 14, 2013 at 12:46 pm

    That was beautiful but haunting my friend – she truly was a movie star and him… He was and remains unspeakably wretched… As a mild word

    Choc Chip Uru recently posted..Happy Mother’s Day 2013My Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 17, 2013 at 4:45 am

      when I think of him, I think of nothing. Not hate or love or regret or judgement…

      Just nothing.


  • Reply
    May 14, 2013 at 12:50 pm

    Such a poignant, beautiful tribute to your beautiful sister! My heart goes out to you, darling Kim, for I only have one sis and can’t fathom something like that happening. I just know you felt like your heart was ripped right out of your body. Prayers for you, my friend.
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    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 17, 2013 at 4:46 am

      My heart was ripped out. True.

      And it shall never be whole again.

      Guess what?

      One can actually ‘live’ with half a heart.


  • Reply
    May 14, 2013 at 12:53 pm

    No matter how many times I read your words.
    No matter how many times I look into her eyes.
    My hair still lifts on my neck and my heart still sinks
    for your pain and your loss.
    kisses xoxo
    Jen recently posted..Why my laptop works!My Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 17, 2013 at 4:46 am

      I thank you for your support and love. Xxx

  • Reply
    Elisabeth Kinsey
    May 14, 2013 at 12:56 pm

    Beautifully written.

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 17, 2013 at 4:47 am

      Thank You.
      I feel my words will gush out about Kay forever and ever and ever…


  • Reply
    Impulsive Addict
    May 14, 2013 at 1:11 pm

    Always perfectly written. You’re so talented as a writer. Complete opposite of me and my silly little blog. I hate him and I don’t even know him. He will rot. I promise you that.

    Hope your Mother’s Day was a great one! xoxo
    Impulsive Addict recently posted..TTUT: Migraines Suck But My New House Pictures Don’t.My Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 17, 2013 at 4:48 am

      Excuse me…

      your blog is not little or less than.

      It is part of my escapism and reality. It makes me smile.

      SO there.

      Xxxxxx LOOOOVE.

  • Reply
    Hotly Spiced
    May 14, 2013 at 2:02 pm

    So, so sad. I’m glad you’re doing this walk to raise awareness to a very important and significant cause xx
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    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 17, 2013 at 4:49 am

      Planning the walk makes us feel more alive & also, keeps Kay alive.

      Xxxx LOVE

  • Reply
    Elephant's Child
    May 14, 2013 at 2:27 pm

    Some day I will be able to read about you and Kay and not weep. Perhaps. But that day is not here yet.

    Hurting for you, hurting with you. As always.

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 17, 2013 at 4:49 am

      Dear S.
      I adore your heart.

      Thank you. Xxxxxxx

  • Reply
    May 14, 2013 at 2:56 pm

    What a difficult read. I’m so sorry this happened to you and Kay.
    kgwaite recently posted..Seedling StarMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 17, 2013 at 4:49 am

      Me, too.
      every single day. Xx

  • Reply
    lisa thomson
    May 14, 2013 at 2:59 pm

    How beautifully expressed, your love for your sister and then the shocking truth of how she was killed. There are no words for you. I can only say that son of a bitch better be rotting in jail.
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    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 17, 2013 at 4:51 am

      he shot himself in the temple after he killed Kay.

      He would have NEVER faced us all after this…He was always a coward.


  • Reply
    Jann Huizenga
    May 14, 2013 at 2:59 pm

    Kim, this is beautiful and wrenching. How you’ve made me love Kay! I don’t know why we cannot protect the ones we love but we cannot always do it, as much as we try.
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    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 17, 2013 at 4:52 am

      this is true. I continually say “WHAT IF What If. WHY WHY Why me??”

      I had to stop this or I’d go CRazy.

      Xx Love to you.

  • Reply
    May 14, 2013 at 3:06 pm

    The Kay you share with us Kim is remarkable and radiant. Like you.
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  • Reply
    Annette Molitor
    May 14, 2013 at 3:09 pm


    Kay is walking with God’s Angels and cannot be touched by that monster.

    I love the way you portray her Kim. You really have brought her to life in such a way that I feel like I know her. Kay is so proud of you. I just know it!!

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      May 17, 2013 at 4:10 pm

      thank you for reading my mourning, Annette.

      I hope he is not burning. His HELL is being separated from Kay.

      Xxx LOVE.
      My Inner Chick recently posted..Once Upon A Time…My Profile

  • Reply
    May 14, 2013 at 3:51 pm

    Just so awful Kim… a punch to an empty stomach…..She was absolutely beautiful and from everything you have written about her she was beautiful inside too….
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  • Reply
    May 14, 2013 at 5:37 pm

    This was tragically beautiful. Thank you for sharing your soul.
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  • Reply
    May 14, 2013 at 6:17 pm

    I second Liz’s comment. See you in a few Weeks,

  • Reply
    Vidya Sury
    May 14, 2013 at 7:12 pm

    Only you can write so lyrically yet wrench my heart, Kim. Kay should have been here. All I can do is hug you close and hold you, as you hold her in your heart and soul.

    Love you. Yes, the human body is so fragile. Even more so when there is no soul in it. I am sad that Kay was associated with such a soulless person.

    Hugs. If I were touching that second picture, my tears would melt the snow.
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  • Reply
    Blond Duck
    May 14, 2013 at 7:51 pm

    She was so beautiful.
    Blond Duck recently posted..Blue Mermaid ReviewsMy Profile

  • Reply
    Kim Gagnon
    May 14, 2013 at 8:50 pm

    Love you with all my heart and soul. Many beautiful life time memories of Kay. We will all dance together in paradise someday.

  • Reply
    May 14, 2013 at 9:38 pm

    That nagging little voice that tells us something is not right is, as it turns out – always right isn’t it? I’m so sorry that she’s gone. I’m so angry that he took her from you. XOXOXO
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  • Reply
    nan @ lbddiaries
    May 14, 2013 at 9:47 pm

    She was light, walking toward more light and freedom. He was darkness, losing the light. Every time you write, it bruises my heart. Every time you write, I am blessed to know Kay at least a little. Every time you write, I am astonished at your strength. Every time you write I wish you didn’t have to.
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      May 17, 2013 at 4:15 pm

      Sweet Nan,
      I love this comment.

      He lost his LIGHT. This is SO TRUE. He had NO light.

      KAY was PURE light.

      Xxx LOVE to you.
      My Inner Chick recently posted..Once Upon A Time…My Profile

  • Reply
    May 14, 2013 at 10:06 pm

    Kim, I cannot imagine. Like losing a limb. Your sister was so incredibly beautiful, so much like you. There aren’t enough words to convey my sadness for you and Kay. Sending you lots of hugs!
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      May 17, 2013 at 5:10 pm

      I wish to God I had lost a limb…
      Losing Kay is like losing my heart, soul…

      Xxx LOVE.
      My Inner Chick recently posted..Once Upon A Time…My Profile

  • Reply
    May 15, 2013 at 12:09 am

    Kim, what a touching post – I must say that I am at a loss for words right now – respect for putting your feelings in such haunting words! Respect!

    Thank you also for taking the time to visit my blog and leaving such kind comments!

    All the very best!

  • Reply
    Corinne Rodrigues
    May 15, 2013 at 2:52 am

    You never fail to move me with your deep love for Kay and the incredible sadness at her loss……Praying that Kay’s walk is a huge success.
    Love and hugs
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  • Reply
    Valentine Logar
    May 15, 2013 at 3:59 am

    I cannot wait to be there and see you. I am all registered and everything! I am going to walk even if I fall down. Each step I take will be for you and Kay, even if I tip over, fall down, don’t make it all the way.

    I cannot wait to hug you!
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  • Reply
    feeling beachie
    May 15, 2013 at 4:24 am

    I wish i could give you a big hug because there are no words….
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  • Reply
    May 15, 2013 at 6:34 am

    Love you so much.
    Massive, massive hugs.
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  • Reply
    May 15, 2013 at 6:47 am

    This story continues to boggle my mind and grab my heart. I didn’t know she had 3 sons. How old are they?

    This is such a testament to our dire need of gun control, in this country. Not to mention more (never enough) awareness of domestic violence. I sometimes feel I must have had a guardian angel, full time, when I was a kid.

    I will be there in spirit for the walk! You are making Kay so proud.

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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      May 17, 2013 at 5:13 pm

      Dearest Barbara,
      They had three sons. One lives w/ my mom and dad and the others are older.

      They will all be at the walk.

      Thank you so much for your support and interest. Xxxx LOVE.
      My Inner Chick recently posted..Once Upon A Time…My Profile

  • Reply
    Ellen M. Gregg
    May 15, 2013 at 7:01 am

    The piece that prevents hatred for Kay’s killer from entering my soul is this: While he could destroy her body, he couldn’t destroy her spirit. While he could end her earthly life, he couldn’t end her soul’s journey.

    In a way, like Darth Vader’s murder of Obi-Wan Kenobi, that bastard’s action succeeded in making her an even more powerful force for good in this world.

    It still sucks… {{{ Kim and Kay }}}

  • Reply
    Mandy - The Complete Cook Book
    May 15, 2013 at 8:00 am

    I dream of the day I can come and do a Kay walk with you Kim – I do believe, I really do believe, I will be able to do it with you one of these years. Until then, know I am with you in spirit every step of the way!
    🙂 Mandy xoxoxoxo
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      May 17, 2013 at 5:15 pm

      One day Perhaps I shall come to S. Africa. I’d love to eat your cooking!

      And give you a BIG FAT HUG. Xxxx LOVE.
      My Inner Chick recently posted..Once Upon A Time…My Profile

  • Reply
    Jodi @ Heal Now and Forever
    May 15, 2013 at 1:14 pm

    I LOVE the reference to roots and blood. Trees and bodies we are. One. nothing is separate, breath, death, life, everything the same. Love, heart, smiles, wholeness. A whisper. The same. As the two of you are the SAME you cannot be separate. It feels it but you do know she is beside you always. xoxox
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      May 17, 2013 at 5:15 pm

      YESsss. Yes.

      The roots run deep. So deep that they are unreachable.

      Love your comment, my sweet Jodi. Xxxxxx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..Once Upon A Time…My Profile

  • Reply
    May 15, 2013 at 4:53 pm

    I love how you honor Kay in your words and through your actions…xoxo
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  • Reply
    May 16, 2013 at 5:32 am

    After 3 years we still miss her so much ———- We will always miss her, until we see her again in heaven.
    About her X, as far i’m concerned he never exsisted.
    Love You

  • Reply
    May 16, 2013 at 7:47 am

    I can never read this story without a wave of sadness going through me. Her loss is more than tragic, but the way you remember her, and keep her alive for us is something wonderful. It was a pleasure and privilege to see you in London, and witness the warmth and understanding behind these words.
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      May 18, 2013 at 6:14 am

      I LOOOOOOOOOOved seeing you in London, Peter.

      You are exsactly what I imagined.


      Xxx LOVE.
      My Inner Chick recently posted..Once Upon A Time…My Profile

  • Reply
    May 16, 2013 at 11:40 am

    You made me cry Kim.

  • Reply
    Lorraine @ Not Quite Nigella
    May 16, 2013 at 3:47 pm

    I haven’t seen that photo of Kay before, she really was stunning in every pic Kim! xxx
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  • Reply
    Amy Tong
    May 16, 2013 at 10:03 pm

    What a meaningful post….I’m deeply touched and very sorry for your lost. Thanks for the information at the end to raise awareness to others.
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      May 18, 2013 at 6:15 am

      it’s about awareness and a solution now.
      Kay is part of the solution.

      Xx Thanks for reading.
      My Inner Chick recently posted..Once Upon A Time…My Profile

  • Reply
    May 18, 2013 at 10:30 am

    I’m so very sorry I haven’t returned in some time. I always love reading your words. So haunting, so beautiful, and so descriptive. I hope you know always how lucky your sister was to have you in your life. It’s a bond that is never broken and I am sure she would be so proud to know that you leave a piece of her legacy behind in your amazing blog.

    XOXO and much healing.
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  • Reply
    May 18, 2013 at 2:46 pm

    She did look like a movie star, truly did.

    How cruel, how wicked, the ripping of her life from your family’s embrace. I really don’t know that I could do what we’re meant to: “forgive”.

    Sincere best to you. God bless Kay.
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  • Reply
    Desire Empire
    May 18, 2013 at 3:39 pm

    God that is devastating. And those poor boys. You have written a beautiful post honouring your friend. Best of luck with the walk. Domestic violence is just totally unacceptable and I am trying very hard to bring up a son who is respectful of women and a daughter who is strong enough to face up to it if she ever encounters it..
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  • Reply
    May 19, 2013 at 4:28 am

    Your writing is brilliant, and I understand that it comes from a deep and dark, painful place…but what you are doing with that pain will save lives, probably already has. My best to you…on the walk and always.

  • Reply
    May 20, 2013 at 9:13 pm

    A very moving and brilliantly written piece. Sending you hugs.

  • Reply
    Lady Jennie
    May 21, 2013 at 1:47 pm

    Kim, Where are her children?
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      May 22, 2013 at 12:46 pm

      Jen and Liz,
      two of Kay’s boys are on their own and one lives w/ my mommy and daddy.

      We are all VERY close and see each other often.

      Everybody will be at the walk to support Kay and other women of Domestic Violence.

      thank you for asking. Xxxx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..Once Upon A Time…My Profile

  • Reply
    Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell
    May 22, 2013 at 11:41 am

    I have the same question Lady Jennie has. I’m wondering where the kids are!
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  • Reply
    May 22, 2013 at 6:02 pm

    Your sister reminds me of a young Raquel Welch. Gorgeous. She seemed to be reaching right out of the photo and telling her story. What a great sister you are to honor her life in such a wonderful way. I’m sure she is proud. And give your dad extra hugs. It must be devastating for him as well.
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      May 23, 2013 at 4:55 am

      Hi, Renee,
      people used to tell her before she was murdered that she looked like Jennifer Lopez.

      I miss miss miss her.

      My Inner Chick recently posted..Once Upon A Time…My Profile

  • Reply
    Carolyn Hughes
    May 23, 2013 at 6:56 am

    Whenever I come to your page I know I’m going to cry whether it’s tears of laughter or tears of sadness. Your love oozes through. So humbled to be sharing your cherished memories of your gorgeous sister. xoxo
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  • Reply
    May 23, 2013 at 9:59 am

    Your enduring love and kindness, determination, and heart, never falters. You are a good soul, Kim. We all should have a sister as beautiful as you.
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  • Reply
    ed p
    May 25, 2013 at 6:48 pm

    she is so beautiful, and so is how you keep her flame alive.
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    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 26, 2013 at 8:06 am

      Missed you, eddie. Xxx

  • Reply
    May 25, 2013 at 7:05 pm

    PS…thanks for your kind words and hug, my friend. It’s been a rough week.
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    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 26, 2013 at 8:07 am

      LOVE !! Xx

  • Reply
    Lady E
    May 27, 2013 at 1:24 pm

    Wooo, shivers as I finish reading your post… Life is just so precious. And a side of anger too: How can guns be so easy to get hold of ? 🙁 xoxoxo
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  • Reply
    My Inner Chick
    May 27, 2013 at 2:34 pm

    Lady E,
    unfortunately, guns can be given to almost any idiot in America. HOW SAD.

    I’ve miss you. How are you? What is going on in the Alps? Xx
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  • Reply
    May 29, 2013 at 5:18 pm

    Kim, I never tire of admiring photos of beautiful, movie-star Kay! Oh my goodness, what a beauty! She is stunning, just stunning. And just as beautiful as the love you have for her. Your post reminds me of how even when we try to harness evil, even when we do all that we think is necessary for preventing it from taking those we love, it sometimes finds a way. How sad and tragic that gorgeous Kay had to meet this individual. Nevertheless, thanks to your loyalty and devotion, she lives on through your writing. She lives on, Kim. But then you already know that, my friend. Hang on to that thought, today and always. Sending love to you from Roxy and me!

  • Reply
    Day 30: All Atwitter | The M3 Blog
    May 30, 2013 at 6:02 am

    […] you are not familiar with Kim and My Inner Chick, you should stop by and find out more about Kay and why we are going to walk 5K in her […]

  • Reply
    May 30, 2013 at 9:56 am

    I don’t know what to say.
    I’m just thankful that you’re the strong voice behind every tear, bruises, verbal attacks…those women? Need you my friend.
    Keep Kay going.
    Kimberly recently posted..Oh I Didn’t See You ThereMy Profile

  • Reply
    June 2, 2013 at 8:00 am

    Such a heartbreaking story my friend, Kay was indeed a beautiful woman and I am sad that her life was cut short 🙁

    There is no room in this world for domestic, or any other form of violence against another, it is unnecessary and incredibly wrong for one to be so domineering, and in this instance to the point of killing another human being. Sadly there are women all over the globe suffering at the hands of these fiendish individuals and I hope that something can be done to stop this disgraceful act of physical and mental abuse.


    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      June 2, 2013 at 8:36 am

      Dear Andro,

      We are trying to stop this epidemic.

      I only wish I would have known more before this happened to my dear sweet Kay.

      For example, when a woman is leaving her abusive parnter, it is THE MOST DANGEROUS time.

      Thank you for reading my mourning, dear.


  • Reply
    Girl with a New Life
    June 3, 2013 at 2:46 pm

    She really was *beautiful*.

    Sending my love.
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  • Reply
    WBH: Ticket for One | The M3 Blog
    June 5, 2013 at 6:01 am

    […] it came time for me to book my flight to Minnesota for the Kay Marie Sisto Memorial Walk, I got a bit wistful amidst the flurry of confirmation numbers and […]

  • Reply
    Chris Carter
    January 28, 2014 at 11:53 am

    No words for you… just gasps and groans and tears and prayers.

    I hate this story you have to tell. Hate it.

    The only part I want to cling to is her radiance. Yours too.
    Chris Carter recently posted..Devotional Diary: Your Pain Is A Beautiful ReminderMy Profile

  • Reply
    April 27, 2014 at 5:57 pm

    Love You!

  • Reply
    April 28, 2014 at 2:57 pm

    Your roots are still tangled. Reach up your branches! Check in the mail, soon. If wish I could come walk!
    Jodi recently posted..Your perspective changes everythingMy Profile

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