—- An imitation universe without land or boundaries. This is life on a cruise ship—Kim Sisto
–Once upon a time there was a little girl who decided she
wanted to work on the Love Boats.
But truth be told, there was much more sex on those boats
than love, honey.
For example, if you assumed the crew were only in charge of navigation and safety, well,
then you don’t know shit about the cruise lines.
I heard from a
reliable source the officers actually had a colored chart in their lounge with
the names and ratings of every passenger they had screwed during our weekly
chart overflowed with hundreds of girls
names from Miami, San Juan,
to the Cayman
P i g s.
A very married Captain
Monzo was sleeping with one of the casino girls
(yes, that’s what we were termed).
“He thinks I’m
very beautiful.,” she confessed while we were sipping pina coladas on the Lido
deck one night. “Except my teeth,” she
She pointed her
slender hot pink tipped nail to her front teeth, which were perfect movie star
“He paid a
dentist in St. Croix to fix these two crooked
urgently & furiously, I despised
Monzo. I mean, I had imagined, at least, he was different than the rest.
Why did she need
to change for him?
Old Fart -Asshole!
After that, I despised the Italians on Carnival Cruise
I was much more
intrigued by the British dudes.
particular, Mr. Liverpool.
He wasn’t interested,
thus, this made me more interested.
He didn’t chase
me, thus, I pursued him.
A girl becomes
quite confident after 6 or 7 Goombay Smashes. No?
Yeah, in case you haven’t realized yet, alcohol was a huge part of ship culture…along
with lots of other
sex drugs and rock and roll shenanigans.
When one works
and lives on a cruise ship, it’s as if
reality relinquishes and consequences
In other words,
what applies on land doesn’t necessarily apply when you’re floating above the Atlantic with your hair blowing in air and salt water upon your tongue.
anybody we hooked up,” I whispered to Mr. L.
“I don’t want the casino girls to know.”
morning, a bunch of the C-girls scurried
up to me during breakfast asking me how my night was, what time I got back to
the cabin, if I had a good time?
Wink. Wink. Give us every single detail.
You see, they had
just bumped into Mr. L. who had bright red lips smeared all over his crisp
white tuxedo shirt.
“U-um, excuuuuuse me,” I said.
“How do you know those lips were mine?”
Then all of the
bitches burst into a fit laughter.
Carnival Cruise Lines. / Mardi Gra / An Imitaion Universe.
-& to my fellow ship mates reading this, tell me if you agree w/ my perspective.