How Bizzy Got His Meow Back

 
—When you find your inner voice, you empower yourself to
become who you must and should be—Kim Sisto Robinson

 

 

 

Our cat, otherwise known as Little Bastard,  is 15 years old.

 

On the hierarchy of power, he’s the Kim Jong at the top of
the mountain slinging out orders like daggers.

 

He’s the king of kings, the big cheese, hot stuff, and all
that.

 

So when we brought another cat into the house, he began
marking his territory immediately like a dominant, controlling, self-centered,
overpowering lion.

 

For example, he sprayed his tainted-ammonia-stinking urine
in every corner of the house.

 

Mr. Liverpool was not a happy Brit…

and I was the one who soaked the beast’s stains with lemon
scented bleach.

 

Little Bastard wouldn’t allow our new cat, Bizzy, upon the
couch, on Mr. L’s lap,  or in the litter
box.

 

He was/is an incredibly naughty, tail biting snot.

 

When the two of them wrestled,  Little Bastard was constantly the one on top
holding Bizzy down with his still-sharp teeth and big fat interbred seven toed paws.

 

For years now, Little Bastard has sauntered around the house
like his shit doesn’t stink.

 

Until yesterday.

 

I watched both of them skirmishing on the carpet.  Fur on fur.
Tabby on Tom.  Whisker on whisker.

 

Growling.
Rolling.  Hissing.

 

Suddenly,  Bizzy was
above Little Bastard strangling him with his fangs—sitting on him with his enormous
charcoal body.

 

He meowed a loud, systematic, infuriating meow.

 

Over and over again as if releasing everything he had been
holding back.

 

It was the first time I heard any noise erupt from his
insides.

 

It was the first time he utilized his meow, his rights, his
power.

 

It was a beautiful, liberating sound.
Bizzy & Little Bastard sitting near each other.  This is a very rare occasion.
Little Bastard was kicked outside for bullying Bizzy.  Naughty Horrilbe Cat.

 

—-NOTE—- I immediately thought of my sister, Kay,
after watching this event unfold.  The
way her voice had been silenced for so many years.

 

But now from the grave, her voice screams out through me.

 

Darling Reader,  have
you found your meow yet?  If not,  Why?

Kim's Blogs

109 comments

  1. Joan says:

    Cats are not to be fooled with. We have had many cats in our house but the one with the ugliest meow to go along with her personality was the last cat that was allowed in our house. She got so ugly and uncooperative and loud that we had to put her down. Was I sad? No. It was time for her to be quiet and stop intimidating everyone who came into the house and most especially, our first grandchild. That was the last straw. Her voice was quieted. I know yours is loud and clear when you write about Kay. She would love that you have found your voice through her own spirit. That’s why we sisters who have lost sisters make noise- to raise up the spirits of our beautiful sisters and do good and beautiful things in their names.

    • Dear Joan,
      no VOICE is louder and more Powerful than yours! Thank you for that.

      As far as putting Bastard to sleep. NEVER. Even though he’s a bastard, we love him deeply and forever.

      Xxxx Kiss

  2. Sometimes that first meow is a little squeak, but eventually, it does become a roar.

    You don’t have to become a bully, yourself. But standing up for yourself, saying, “I will NOT let you treat me poorly,” feels so good when you finally let yourself say it. LIberating, indeed.

  3. Joe Cardillo says:

    I had a couple of cats and the one little orange tabby got snotty when we got a new one….he would chase her under the couch constantly, until one time she just got fed up and got him with a clever trap. She got him to chase her into the washer/dryer room and when she hopped into the hamper she hopped out and thunked against the lid so hard that it closed, trapping him. I must have laughed for a good 5 minutes! =)

  4. Bella says:

    Kim, looks like Bizzy got his groove back and Little Bastard has been informed to toe the line, or else! Good for Bizzy! I loved the visuals your words inspired in this post. I could literally seek the skirmish between these two furry friends. Like Joan stated, you, much like Bizzy, have “found your voice through Kay’s spirit.” Beautifully stated and so true! When I read your posts about Kay, I think, can there be a better advocate than one who knows we cannot be silenced? I don’t think so. Kay must have looked down at the scene unfolding between these little beasts and said, “You show him, Bizzy!” How I loved the picture of Little Bastard on time out! hee hee! Hugs and much love to you, lady! :)

  5. Such a beautiful post. I adore your roars, and wish that the whole world could hear them. I am sure that the most important person, Kay, can hear them and purrs to herself. My own is muted at the moment, but if the hospital does wrong to the skinny portion this time round I will snarl, I will roar and all my claws will be out. Psycho bitch from hell unleashed.

  6. ladyfi says:

    Oh, this so resonates with me! I love the way you’ve written it. My daughter and her friends have been having trouble with a girl who is ‘the class bully’ if you like: always mean, putting people down, talking behind people’s back.

    It’s been going on for a couple of years and I’m always encouraging and teaching my daughter to let out her inner meow. Believe me – she’s very very near releasing it! I shall encourage her even more using your metaphor.

  7. Monica says:

    Still, one look at that last photo of Little B looking in and looking so forlorn, I can help but feel sorry for the little kitty. Yes, he got his comeuppance from Bizzy, but at what expense? Kim, I just want to hug them both.

  8. Vidya Sury says:

    I love your meeow, Kim! This post is like lyrical poetry to read.

    What a heart-breaking analogy to Kay’s voice and a reminder to speak up.

    Hugs. Love you more than a million tabbies and toms sun-bathing!

  9. Animals never cease to amaze me by their simplicity but precise way of living with their hierarchy – it has always been that way and has never changed.
    I am so happy Bizzy found his voice!
    I am sure you think of Kay with every waking moment – it really must be so hard some times. Sending you a warm and sunny South African hug. xo
    Have a beautiful love filled weekend dear Kim.
    :-) Mandy xo

  10. Wow, meow, that’s a lot of drama and fur flying going on in your house, Kim!! Hope you never get caught in the middle!

    (Little B looks kind of like a rabbit in those 2 photos… very cute, in spite of being a little B.) xxxxxxxxxx

  11. What a wonderful analogy! I have lived with cats and dogs for years! I also live with a Cockatoo, who frankly rules the roost most days. Merlin screams and squawks and tells you life is about. My current cats are only weeks apart in age, both 12 years old and thus friends and partners in criminal bad behavior. They are both fixed and declawed which does not stop them from occasionally marking to let me know they are unhappy with some change to their current situation. They are both entitled, spoiled beyond belief.

    I suspect Kim, are pets are often reflections of our own emotional state. Mine certainly are. When I am calm and at peace, my household is as well.

    As always, you have brought poetry into the the everyday.

    I love you

  12. When my girls were still in the “apple blossom” stage ( under thirteen ) and had not reached the “bee sting” age ( thirteen and over ) we used to have one dog and seven cats. The dog ( Truffles) grew into a serene and calming ruler, but the cats used to squabble over who was allowed to lie near him, or possibly on him. It was the source of many discussions about pecking order.

  13. Woohoo, Bizzy! :-)

    Kim, your meow for Kay and for yourself resounds through the universe, as it should. I love that.

    My meow was stifled from childhood, but I continue to work toward my full-voiced meow. I found it and used it on stage, and more than once, in a handful of roles that demanded it of me. I know it’s there. I need to relinquish the last vestiges of fear that holds it back in “real” life.

    Love. xoxo

  14. Lafemmeroar says:

    Loved reading this post! Little Bastard and Bizzy sound absolutely adorable :) And yeah … it’s important for people to find their voice … it could be through writing, singing, art, photography, etc … but we all need to express ourselves. Have I told you I love your blog? :) Digging this now.

  15. Kim Gagnon says:

    Kimmy. I love it!! I was laughing my butt off till the end. Good metaphor. But so right !! You make me laugh and cry! That’s a true writer!! Love you !!!!!!

  16. Duc le Chat and the neighbour’s siamese have FINALLY sorted out territory rites to hunting on the empty lot between us. Duc has had the odd festering bite, but they aren’t visible until Duc takes care of it himself (so there, expensive Vets!). Twice I rushed him up to the Vet’s with the wound so well looked after, a shot wasn’t even necessary.

    Duc brings his vermin home, dead or alive, clenched in his well fanged jaw, screaming with meows down the length of the driveway. Proud? For many reasons! 😀

    Sir Charles? Is that LB’s official title? You go, Dad!

  17. Fabulous, vivid post, Kim. And the picture of LB at the door … so funny and touching. When a cat looks straight into one’s eyes it’s searing, don’t you find?

    Took me until my 40s to find my meow and it’s getting bigger every day. Love to you, cat woman xx

  18. Michael Ann says:

    Love the name Little Bastard. Wish I’d thought of that! Instead we came up with Psycho Kitty and Big Orange. Psycho kitty went crazy when we moved and is getting worse by the day. Scratching mirrors at night, howling like he is dying, peeing on any laundry or towel that gets left on the floor. I read where Joan put her cat down for bad behavior…. for the first time it actually entered my mind to do that, but honestly, I know I never could.

    But I digress…. have I found my meow? Um…. working on it!!!

    Great post!

  19. Kathy says:

    Gosh, Kim, this post is so powerfully moving! I love your ability to take a rumble between two cats and turn it into something so profound. I love your ability to marry humor and meaning! A huge gift, my friend.
    Hugs,
    Kathy

  20. Noeleen says:

    So gorgeous, so GORGEOUS! I love ’em love ’em want ’em!!

    Awww :)

    Love the look Little Bastard waiting to be let in again. C’mon, he was only living up to the name YOU gave him!

  21. Debbie says:

    Sounds as if Bizzy had had it up to here and wasn’t taking it any more — good for him! All bullies should be banished to the other side of the screen door!

    • Hi Kim, my meow is coming back in spurts. The ladies in Celebrate Recovery have mentioned that my eyes are sparkling and I’m smiling and laughing again. But I still struggle with confrontation. I still cry silently. My body language at home may at times resemble Misty when I first brought her home as a kitten. She hid behind a chair and wouldn’t come out until I enticed her with a toy. And her ad I have over the years expressed body language that paralleled one another. For example, we both froze when my ex husband raised his voice, we both adored his soft and playful side, we can read each others body language like a book. She has a wide variety of chips and I know what they all mean. She understands my voice as well and knows which tone =s play, I love you, I’m home, I missed you too cat. Her favorite sentences are “You’re silly!” And…are you my baby? Who’ rug is this? Is this my rug or your rug? HIIII!! How’s the kitty? And we both have trust issues with men.

      My ex set me free after I wrote a story called The Dove which was symbolic of our marriage. I was the little chickadee, he was the great blue heron, and God was the Great White Eagle. If you shoot me your email I’ll send it to you

  22. Rock on Bizzy and all the other bullied Bizzys out there.

    That’s an adorable photo of the two of them lying side by side, looking quite peaceful. Animals find there way.

    I must remember the lemon bleach tip… nothing quite the noxious smell of cat pee…

  23. I’ve always been known for being a bit outspoken, honest, accessible, maybe even an over-sharer.

    These past few years I’ve quieted down. Decorum and social graces and all that.

    And then someone from my past just passed away. And I remembered again the fire I used to have…how passionate I was for the right thing, the right ending and the way things should be.

    And I really wasn’t so wrong after all. I was just the brave one. The one who loved the most.

    I’m taking that part of myself back.

  24. Shane Curtis says:

    Poor Little Bastard! But he’s kinda funny huh.
    Better be good always Little Bastard so you won’t end up sleeping outside the mansion, lol.

  25. Noeleen says:

    AWWWWWW – to the power of a thousand!!

    This is so gorgeous. I read some of the comments too – as in “I wonder what he’s thinking”… and your reply. You’d know ’em best :)

    I looked at that video re Kay again today (Fox news). Chilling. I truly, deeply admire you being strong in the cause of life over mere survival. Bless you.

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