In Memory of Kay

886 Days


{“It’s an old, old story:   I had a friend (Sister) and we shared everything, and then she died and so we shared that, too.”}  –Gail Caldwell

–It’s been 886 days since your murder.

 

I shall always count the days,  always miss you,  always love you the most.

 

Always.

 

Sometimes I forget you are gone.

 

Only for split seconds at a time.

 

I’ll be sleeping, dreaming, existing in my old life when you
were here with me.

 

Laughing.  Telling secrets.  Baking chocolate chip cookies.

 

—-then quiet suddenly I awaken and remember.

 

Remembering hurts and squeezes my organs, twists my heart,
dries my blood.

 

My sister is dead.  My sister was murdered.  My sister is not coming back.

 

And the grief washes over me like black fangs and soreness
and shadows and seclusion.

 

Something more.

 

I have so much to tell you, so much to say.

 

For example,  I
haven’t talked to you for 886 days and I’m wondering how the hell I’ve
survived, lived, loved, cooked, worked, and written blog after blog, sentence
after sentence, word after word.

 

It’s astonishing that with half a  heart,
I can still scream  scream  scream.

 

I can scream silently inside my mind until I am wildly,
outrageously out of control.

 

And not a fucking soul knows.

 

You see, they’ve gone forward with their own lives, their own plans.

 

I’m already thinking about Thanksgiving….

 

How we’d sneak out after turkey and dressing and smoked
oysters to walk on the Waterfront Trail.

 

I’ve been already been thinking about Christmas…

 

How we’d meet at Olive Garden or Applebee’s to exchange our
gifts.

 

Our bags overflowing w/ glittery tissue paper, candles, Victoria
Secret scents, and expensive chocolates.

 

We’d order bruschetta, warm spinach dip, colorful drinks,
and talked until our jaws hurt.

 

We talked about everything.
There were no boundaries.  Nothing
off limits.

 

We were one root.  One soul.

 

“What would I ever do without you?”  I ‘d utter.
“I’d die. I’d want to die.  I
couldn’t live without you.”

 

‘Me,  too.”  You’d say.
“Don’t worry, Kimmy.  We’ll grow
old together and adopt a hundred cats from the humane society.  We’ll wear high heeled shoes and dark lipstick
and flirt with all the young boys.”

 

“Even at 90?” I smiled.

 

“Yep.  We’ll always be
together.”

 

But here I am, Kay.

 

Here I am.

 

Alone.  Missing.   Loving.
Crying.  Praying.

 

And I’m trying to living without you.

~~~~Dear Reader,  Do you have a soul-mate?

–The root of my root & blood of my blood was murdered by Mike Peterson on May 26,2010.  Everything changed in one solitary moment.

 

~~~~Get Help  NOW for Verbal Abuse, Emotional Abuse, Sexual Abuse,  Physical Abuse, Finacial Abuse- or any other kinds of abuse…..800-799-SAFE (7233) or at TTY 1-800-787-3224.

http://www.thehotline.org/get-help/help-in-your-area/ PLEASE  Do  Not  Wait   One.  More.  Solitary.  Day.

 


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103 Comments

  • Reply
    Lafemmeroar
    November 12, 2012 at 7:27 pm

    My soul mate is my niece. We’re very close.

    Every time I read your post about your sister Kay … my heart breaks a little in reading your pain. So many memories … and it’s especially hard with the holidays coming up. Keep on keeping on Kim!
    Lafemmeroar recently posted..What the Rich Think About the PoorMy Profile

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      November 15, 2012 at 6:11 am

      dear L,
      everyday is difficult, but over the holidays is HELL. Xx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..886 DaysMy Profile

      • Reply
        Lafemmeroar
        November 18, 2012 at 7:44 pm

        I know you will stay strong and celebrate her memory by remembering your closeness and the good times as you always do here on your blog.
        Lafemmeroar recently posted..Schlong Sausage RecipeMy Profile

  • Reply
    Choc Chip Uru
    November 12, 2012 at 7:50 pm

    The way you describe your soul mate is beautiful but painful to read. I wish I could make her tangible for you but her memories are with you forever

    All my love
    Uru
    Choc Chip Uru recently posted..Happy Birthday CG 2012!My Profile

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      November 15, 2012 at 6:13 am

      She is quite tangible (inside my heart), Choc, but still not here to touch, feel, love, kiss, talk with……..

      xx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..886 DaysMy Profile

  • Reply
    Red Dwyer
    November 12, 2012 at 7:57 pm

    {HUGZ}
    …for the glittery paper.
    …for the colorful drinks.
    …for the walks.
    …for the smokes.
    …for the secrets, laughs, whispers.
    …for the holidays.
    …for every day.

    Much love, Kimmy <3
    xxx
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  • Reply
    Liz
    November 12, 2012 at 8:50 pm

    Yes I have a soul mate. Sending you love Kim.
    Liz recently posted..Monday Memo: Keep Listening, Start TalkingMy Profile

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      November 15, 2012 at 6:14 am

      Liz,
      glad your soul mate is still w/ you, dear. X
      My Inner Chick recently posted..886 DaysMy Profile

  • Reply
    Barbara
    November 12, 2012 at 9:31 pm

    This must be such a difficult time of year Kim. I can’t imagine but you make it very real. I pray that writing helps you get through the pain. Hang tough.
    xob
    Barbara recently posted..PASSION!My Profile

  • Reply
    Lady Fi
    November 12, 2012 at 9:36 pm

    This brought tears to my eyes. A beautiful tribute to sisterly love.

    (So happy to hear that Oscar has made it onto your fridge!)
    Lady Fi recently posted..Of silver and feathersMy Profile

  • Reply
    nan @ LBDDiaries
    November 12, 2012 at 10:28 pm

    Holidays are tough when your loved one is not there except in heart and spirit. I know you miss her so much. I love you, you are in my heart, and I do pray for you to find peace… at least a little bit of heart healing peace.

  • Reply
    Amy@SoulDipper
    November 12, 2012 at 10:40 pm

    Thankfully, I have people who adamantly believe we have more than one soul mate. Seems the abundant generosity of Universal Love would support that claim.

    It may be correct, but when one soul mate had been gone for 886 days, it’s hard to believe another may be possible. One thing for sure. No one – absolutely no one – can take the place of another!!
    Amy@SoulDipper recently posted..My-O-My! Be Still My HeartMy Profile

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      November 13, 2012 at 6:20 am

      Amy,
      I had one true soul-mate, KAY. Mr. Liverpool is number 2.

      He always understood this. Always knew he was my 2nd soul-mate.

      NoBODY will EVER ever fill the void of Kay…..

      Except GOD.

      Xxx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..886 DaysMy Profile

  • Reply
    Bridget
    November 12, 2012 at 11:32 pm

    I don’t have one like this. I wish I did. Even though you only had her for a short time, it was a beautiful ride wasn’t it?
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  • Reply
    ladywithatruck
    November 13, 2012 at 12:14 am

    I feel your pain, I am SO sorry. I am crying with you, I wish I could do more but there isn’t anything.
    Hugs Carrie

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      November 15, 2012 at 10:14 pm

      Lady w/ truck,

      One must live the pain. I don’t know any other way. Xxx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..886 DaysMy Profile

  • Reply
    Lorraine @ Not Quite Nigella
    November 13, 2012 at 12:26 am

    My heart breaks for you darling Kim. When I think that I would lose my soul mate, Mr NQN, I cannot fathom it xxx
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      November 15, 2012 at 10:15 pm

      Yes, Mr. NQN.

      Could you go on, Lorraine? X
      My Inner Chick recently posted..886 DaysMy Profile

  • Reply
    Mandy - The Complete Cook Book
    November 13, 2012 at 12:32 am

    Kim, you are such an incredibly strong and brave woman, much love and respect to you dear.
    🙂 Mandy xoxoxo
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  • Reply
    Elephant's Child
    November 13, 2012 at 2:36 am

    Tears and more tears. For and with you. As always.

    PS: There is a tiny good wish flying across the miles to you. I was at the markets and something I thought you might like leapt out at me.

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      November 15, 2012 at 5:53 am

      Did you get my card yet?

      You are preeeeecious <3 Xxx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..886 DaysMy Profile

  • Reply
    Alison
    November 13, 2012 at 3:34 am

    Even with half a heart, your heart is big and you are loved.
    I know you miss her. So much. And we miss her with you.
    xoxo
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      November 15, 2012 at 10:16 pm

      Mama A,
      it’s amazing the things one can do w/ half a heart. Xx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..886 DaysMy Profile

  • Reply
    Heal Now and Forever
    November 13, 2012 at 3:50 am

    I love the line. One root. One soul. One. One. One. Love. Love. Love.
    Xoxoxo
    Jodi
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  • Reply
    Debbie
    November 13, 2012 at 4:22 am

    What you write just always hits deep in my heart. What a gift you have. I have a soulmate in my husband and cousin. Love them dearly…..
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      November 15, 2012 at 10:17 pm

      Debbie,
      Oh! 2 Soul Mates.

      Never take them for granted. Go Kiss them. NOW! Xx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..886 DaysMy Profile

  • Reply
    Valentine Logar
    November 13, 2012 at 5:18 am

    Flying on wings are hugs.
    Flying on wings are wishes for peace
    Flying on wings is the belief Kay hears you and holds you
    Flying on wings is hope
    Flying on wings is light

    Kim – it never gets better, I know. It just gets different, it changes. We can all only hold out our arms to you and offer you a place to settle, to mourn, to cry out your pain and with hope find peace for a time.

    Here are my arms, here is my shoulder. I offer you only a place to shelter and find peace. I mourn with you always. My heart breaks for you, for your family and for Kay. My hope is you find a place of light to shelter.

    XX Val XX
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      November 15, 2012 at 10:18 pm

      Val,
      your words fill up the other half of my heart. Xx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..886 DaysMy Profile

  • Reply
    Tara
    November 13, 2012 at 6:13 am

    Oh Kim,

    I have no idea what to say to this. I won’t even pretend to understand the pain you’re going through, because I don’t have a soul mate, much less have lost one. My heart breaks for you, though.

    You asked how you’ve survived these past 886 days, and all I can say is God. He’s holding you up, although I’m sure at times, you wish He’d just let you go. And He will in time, and you and Kay will be together again. That much, I know.

    I love you and pray for you always,

    XO Tara
    Tara recently posted..In Love with LoveMy Profile

  • Reply
    Jann Huizenga
    November 13, 2012 at 7:17 am

    886. So many days. Too many days. Just know your virtual friends love you, Kim. xxxxxxxxx
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      November 15, 2012 at 10:49 pm

      Jann,
      I believe we have known one another for many years. xxx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..886 DaysMy Profile

  • Reply
    Pat Scattergood
    November 13, 2012 at 7:33 am

    I love you, Kimmy.
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      November 15, 2012 at 10:49 pm

      Pat,
      and I feel the same about you, dear. Xx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..886 DaysMy Profile

  • Reply
    Debbie
    November 13, 2012 at 8:20 am

    Hugs for you, Kim. I only have one sister, but we’re not soul-mates. We’ve often squabbled and fought, vied for the same things and lived through cold silences (sad to say, but that’s true). Reading your thoughts about Kay make me ashamed to have had a part in squandering our sisterly relationship.Still, I know neither of us would want to go on without the other, and I wonder how you find the strength to do so. Keep doing what you’re doing, love, for somewhere out there is a person (much like me) who needs to hear what you have to say!
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      November 15, 2012 at 10:50 pm

      Debbie,
      I do not know how I am going on…

      except by the grace of God. Xx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..886 DaysMy Profile

  • Reply
    Kelly @ Inspired Edibles
    November 13, 2012 at 8:42 am

    Our words are so small next to yours.

    Love & Light to you Beauty.

    xo

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      November 15, 2012 at 10:50 pm

      Love and Light flowing back to you, Kelly. Xxx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..886 DaysMy Profile

  • Reply
    jen
    November 13, 2012 at 9:37 am

    My husband is my rock and my soul mate.
    I doubt I’d make it thru another holiday
    if he wasn’t at my side lifting me up.

    The holiday’s bring such a mixture of
    intense sadness for our losses and
    intense love and joy for those
    who remain in our lives.

    Sending prayers xoxo
    jen recently posted..home or away?My Profile

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      November 15, 2012 at 10:52 pm

      Jen,
      That’s the thing….Nobody lifts me up the way Kay did.

      I mean, what does one do without that lifting, loving, loving? Xx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..886 DaysMy Profile

  • Reply
    Solid gold creativity
    November 13, 2012 at 2:26 pm

    Oh Kim, your valiant heart moves me. My love to you and your family. SGC xxx
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      November 15, 2012 at 10:52 pm

      Solid,
      thank you for your love. I send mine back to you. Xx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..886 DaysMy Profile

  • Reply
    (FL) Girl with a New Life
    November 13, 2012 at 4:02 pm

    Such beautiful memories. Sending lots of loving energy your way.
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  • Reply
    Sandra
    November 13, 2012 at 4:43 pm

    Kay’s spirit and endearing love is what keeps you going. She knows there is much in this lifetime for you to do and she is always by your side. I hope you always feel her love and the love from all of us in blogland.
    Sandra recently posted..New Section – Think about ThisMy Profile

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      November 16, 2012 at 5:49 am

      Sandra,
      She was me. I was her.

      That’s all.

      Xxx

  • Reply
    Kathy
    November 13, 2012 at 4:56 pm

    Oh, Kim, this breaks my heart–especially since my sister is my best friend. I can only imagine that losing Kay to murder makes it all the more god-awful. I also had an identical twin sister who died several days after we were born. Some part of me still misses her, as well. Hugs and love to you!
    Kathy
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      November 17, 2012 at 7:59 am

      Thanks, Kathy. So much appreciated when one understands the pain. Xx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..886 DaysMy Profile

  • Reply
    Bella
    November 13, 2012 at 5:13 pm

    Kim, I read this post soon after having hung up with my sister. We had just finished one of our marathon telephone calls where we commiserated, laughed, gossiped, and pondered how fast time flies. In reading your words, it became so tangible, so concrete, the feelings of loss that you experience day by day. I thought of the chat I had just had with my sister and realized how similar your conversations with Kay must have been. I cried. I cried because I had a glimpse of how I would feel if my sister were taken from me. I cried because no matter how good life seems to get, when someone you love is taken from you, life is never the same. There is always sadness. There is always nostalgia. There is always the question of why did this have to happen to us? Nevertheless, remember that while the conversations you have with Kay may seem one sided, they are not. Kay is with you every step of the way. Listening and hanging on to your every word. Smiling as she sees you bake. Proud as she witnesses you achieve, succeed, and triumph. She may not be with you physically, but she will always be with you in spirit. She will always be the best friend you can talk to when you need comfort and solace. Like a guardian angel, she never leaves your side; she is forever watching over you and your loved ones. And while it may be true that she was taken from you, it is also true that she will forever be with you in spirit. Sending you a great big hug and letting you know that you are one of my favorite people. Hugs to you from Roxy and me!
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      November 16, 2012 at 2:24 pm

      I love your comments, words, encouragement, & Heart abundantly, Sweeet Bella and Roxy. Xxxx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..886 DaysMy Profile

  • Reply
    Unknown Mami
    November 13, 2012 at 6:01 pm

    I love that your sister was and is your soul mate. I love how deeply and intensely you loved each other. I don’t love that you have to do without her.
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      November 16, 2012 at 2:24 pm

      Mami,
      I hate living w/out her. Seriously. Xx
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  • Reply
    Kimmy
    November 13, 2012 at 6:41 pm

    Love you kimmy

  • Reply
    Charlene Ross
    November 13, 2012 at 6:45 pm

    I will be honest Kim, I don’t think I’ve ever loved anyone as deeply as you love Kay. Maybe my children, I would not call them my soul mates, but I surely could not go on without them.

    Even as my heart breaks for you I often envy the love you carry in your heart. You truly love like no other.
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      November 17, 2012 at 7:48 am

      Charlene,
      Kay was like a child to me…I took care of her & she took care of me..

      No love was (is) greater. Xxx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..886 DaysMy Profile

  • Reply
    Tia
    November 13, 2012 at 7:14 pm

    That was so touching and so beautifully written. I Love You!!!

  • Reply
    Amy @ Elephant Eats
    November 13, 2012 at 7:23 pm

    This is the sweetest, most touching post. I can’t even begin to imagine what a loss you feel. I’ve had loved ones pass away, but never someone as close to me as a sister, and never in such a horrible circumstance….one you can’t ever prepare for or come to terms with. I’m so sorry your sister is gone. I’m sure that she watches down on you and keeps you safe every day. I hope that in time, you can at least be at peace with what has happened, although it will not make you miss her any less.
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      November 17, 2012 at 7:50 am

      Amy,
      I will be at complete peace when we meet again. Thanks for visiting. Xxx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..886 DaysMy Profile

  • Reply
    countingducks
    November 14, 2012 at 3:20 am

    The love you have for your sister is beyond precious. It always moves me and fills me with wonder. The sadness is that nothing I can say could console you or ease the pain of your loss. But in the saying of it you move and inspire more people than you know, and that is something your love for your sister has given the world without you even knowing it.
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  • Reply
    Monica
    November 14, 2012 at 1:08 pm

    I’m so sorry, Kim. The loss is painful enough. The holidays can make it so harder. For me, I’d have to say my soul mate is my daughter. She gives me such joy and we have so much in common. I can’t imagine being without her, the way you are without Kay. Bless you, Kim, for having the strength to live your life passionately and with purpose. Happy Thanksgiving, my friend. I am thankful for you.
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      November 17, 2012 at 7:52 am

      Monica,
      I have a question for you. Could you live w/out your daughter?

      LOVE. Xxxx Kisses
      My Inner Chick recently posted..886 DaysMy Profile

  • Reply
    dads
    November 14, 2012 at 2:24 pm

    Kim, even though i lost Kay, I still have you.
    Love You With All My Heart
    Daddy

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      November 17, 2012 at 7:52 am

      And I love you more than 15 black panthers melting in the Kisumu sun. Xxxx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..886 DaysMy Profile

  • Reply
    Debi Pasricha
    November 14, 2012 at 5:02 pm

    My heart aches every time I read about you you missing Kay. It’s much too hard to think about too deeply of losing someone you are so close to–your soulmate. Mine is my twelve-year-old son, Nishad. We are two from the same source, the same root as you say. That sort of love (as you know) does not come often or for everyone.

    Whether or not you know this, your heart is full because of Kay. It is not half a heart. No way. Xx
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      November 17, 2012 at 7:54 am

      –Kay has made me a better person. No doubt about that.

      Now what the hell do I do!

      Xx

      I LOVE that your son is your soul mate. That is beautiful.
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  • Reply
    Brenda
    November 14, 2012 at 5:14 pm

    I am not as close to my sister as you were to yours. I think it comes in waves our connection. I have enjoyed such connections with a select few in my life and know the magic of this.. nothing like it and nothing can replace it. It’s to be cherished, as you do. XO
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      November 17, 2012 at 7:55 am

      Cherished. Savored.

      I shall do this FOREVER & EVER & EVER. Xxx
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  • Reply
    Emily
    November 14, 2012 at 5:42 pm

    It’s like a slap in the face. The way the world goes on.
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      November 17, 2012 at 7:55 am

      Ooo, yes it is, Emily. Xxx SOooo damn true.
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  • Reply
    Liz
    November 14, 2012 at 7:40 pm

    It would have to be my hubby…he’s my rock. I’d be so broken if he were gone. xo

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      November 17, 2012 at 7:56 am

      Liz,
      what would you do w/ out him? Xx Just wondering.
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  • Reply
    Jack Milgram
    November 15, 2012 at 12:09 am

    My heart breaks when I read about your loss. I am very sorry that you are going through this. Unfortunately, I do not have a soul mate like you did. I had a close friend, but we are now miles apart and even long Skype talks do not help – we are not that close any more.
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      November 17, 2012 at 7:57 am

      Ahhh, Jack,
      that is a bit sad. You must connect again. Xx
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  • Reply
    Kimberly
    November 15, 2012 at 4:44 am

    So so so much love to you friend. So much xoxo
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  • Reply
    Azara
    November 17, 2012 at 10:04 pm

    That moment of remembering is horrifying. I dread those days to come. I expect to outlive my husband and I don’t know how I’ll go on. My son is at the peak risk time for SIDS and in the back of my mind is the awful what if…I would have to go on for my daughter and my husband but I don’t know how. I can’t imagine how you do it other than one step in front of the other without looking too far ahead. Wishing you hugs and support as you grieve.
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      November 18, 2012 at 10:20 am

      Azara,
      with family, God, root friends, & words, I’m still alive.

      Xxx kiss.

  • Reply
    Feeling Beachie
    November 18, 2012 at 7:09 am

    I wish I could give you a great big hug…
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  • Reply
    Ellen M. Gregg
    November 18, 2012 at 8:54 am

    I have several soulmates with whom I’ve consciously connected in this lifetime, and the thought of being without them is nearly unbearable. I empathize deeply with your pain, Kim. xoxo
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      November 18, 2012 at 10:21 am

      Ellen,
      I love your support. Thank you, dear. Xxx
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  • Reply
    El Phoenix Farris
    November 18, 2012 at 9:36 am

    I am so, so sorry for your loss, which is every bit as palpable in the words you wrote as any other words I’ve read about grief and loss. Much love and many wishes for peace and healing.
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      November 18, 2012 at 10:22 am

      I appreciate your visit & kind words, El.

      Thanx Xx
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  • Reply
    adrianairis
    November 18, 2012 at 12:47 pm

    sending you all my love.
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  • Reply
    My Inner Chick
    November 18, 2012 at 1:17 pm

    I feel your love, A Xx sending some back to you.
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  • Reply
    stephanie
    November 18, 2012 at 4:18 pm

    I have a sister that I’m very close to. If anything happened to her I’d be writing posts exactly like this. I cannot imagine that I’d ever get over it. I wouldn’t want to get over it. I wish you peace however and wherever you find it. Lovely tribute.
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  • Reply
    Lorraine @ Not Quite Nigella
    November 19, 2012 at 12:29 am

    I’m so angry that someone took away your soul mate Kim. You should have had been able to make decades more worth of memories with her xxx
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  • Reply
    Noeleen
    November 19, 2012 at 1:16 am

    My God, you really bring me down to earth with these kind of posts. I know it’s a past one, but it defaulted with your comment, so I checked in.

    I think you are an amazing sister. Your bond was enormous. I just sort of, myself – me from far away who knows not you or your sister – I just, I really wish this did not happen. And what of the perpetrator of this lifetime of loss?

    Sincerely.
    Noeleen recently posted..I DRINK THEREFORE I AMMy Profile

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    Barbara Bakes
    November 19, 2012 at 10:34 am

    I love the wonderful times you shared with your sister. It reminds me I need to make more memories with mine. So easy to take them for granted. God bless you during this difficult season.
    Barbara Bakes recently posted..Classic Pecan Pie and Thanksgiving Recipe RoundupMy Profile

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    Vidya Sury
    November 21, 2012 at 11:37 am

    When a soul mate is gone, it feels like a giant clamp on the heart that makes breathing and living tough. Hugs! I feel your feelings!
    Vidya Sury recently posted..Take A Break. Now.My Profile

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    Suebob
    December 25, 2012 at 8:32 am

    My sister, my soul mate, died on May 13, 2007, after a long bout of MS. I knew she would die but that didn’t make it any easier. It seems so unfair to go through the world without her. She was the only person who got me 100% and I still think “I have to share this with Laura” almost every single day.

    Life goes on, oddly enough. She would not want me to be miserable on her behalf and I try to remember that. But still. Gah.
    Suebob recently posted..Coffeetime with MomMy Profile

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