In Memory of Kay Kim's Blogs

859 Days


 

Grief is like sinking, like being buried.—Lauren Oliver,
Pandemonium

 

 

~It’s been 859 days since he murdered you.

 

It’s been a Lifetime.
It’s been a Helltime.  It’s been
Darkness & Fog.

 

It’s been sharp
fingernails and fangs scratching inside my heart.

 

But I’ve finally gone an entire week without crying, without
going insane, without thinking about your face day in and day out.

 

I called mom and exclaimed,  “I haven’t cried all week!”

 

And I heard her smile her Mama smile thru the other end of
the telephone.

 

I go to see you often to ponder, reflect, pray, listen to
your chimes sing your songs.

 

I seem to always be alone even when I’m not alone.

 

I listen to Lady Anabellum & Mercy Me. I discovered a
new artist, whom is probably an old artist who you would LOVE Love love named  Lincoln Brewster.   I play THIS SONG over and over while I sit
next to your marble stone.

 

Do you miss me?

 

Because I feel you leaving me, the very scent you, your
breath of sunlight.

 

Your  pink lips are fading
into sapphire sky.

 

And I haven’t heard you calling my name in the middle of the
night.

 

Kim::::::::Kim::::::Kim

 

I’ve already forgotten your voice.

 

I think, I truly think when I hear it again;  that sweet soft sound of wings.

 

I shall fall.

 

Fall endlessly–

 

Into where you are….

 

And never return.

–My Sister, Kay, was Murdered by Mike Peterson 859 Days ago.  The mourning never Ends.   The Love NEVER ends….

~~~~Get Help  NOW for Verbal Abuse, Emotional Abuse, Sexual Abuse,  Physical Abuse, Finacial Abuse- or any other kinds of abuse…..800-799-SAFE (7233) or at TTY 1-800-787-3224.

http://www.thehotline.org/get-help/help-in-your-area/ PLEASE  Do  Not  Wait   One.  More.  Solitary.  Day.

 


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46 Comments

  • Reply
    Debi Pasricha
    October 1, 2012 at 4:03 pm

    Beautiful. Your pain and your love are palpable.
    Debi Pasricha recently posted..Midlife, ReworkedMy Profile

  • Reply
    Tia
    October 1, 2012 at 4:19 pm

    Love you!

  • Reply
    Heal Now and Forever
    October 1, 2012 at 5:45 pm

    ((Kim)) a big hug full of love from me to you!
    Jodi
    Heal Now and Forever recently posted..Embrace What You Are ResistingMy Profile

  • Reply
    Liz
    October 1, 2012 at 5:47 pm

    Sending you hugs, my friend….love the song.
    Liz recently posted..Pumpkin Crème Brûlée with White Chocolate Whipped Cream…#ChocolateParty~My Profile

  • Reply
    Liz
    October 1, 2012 at 6:03 pm

    Sending love.
    Liz recently posted..Facts About Breast Cancer (Infographic)My Profile

  • Reply
    Alison
    October 1, 2012 at 6:14 pm

    Oh my heart hurts for you, especially where you’re forgetting her voice. But not her heart, yes? She’s in you, her heart. xo
    Alison recently posted..How To Pitch To A BloggerMy Profile

  • Reply
    Choc Chip Uru
    October 1, 2012 at 6:44 pm

    Your pain but love is tangible my friend – beautiful and haunting

    Hugs
    Uru
    Choc Chip Uru recently posted..Happy 1st Birthday Go Bake Yourself + International GiveawayMy Profile

  • Reply
    Jann Huizenga
    October 1, 2012 at 7:03 pm

    I’m wiping away tears.
    Pink lips fading into a sapphire sky: You are holding onto Kay with words, and letting her fly free.
    Jann Huizenga recently posted..The Pooches of Southeast SicilyMy Profile

  • Reply
    Jann Huizenga
    October 1, 2012 at 7:05 pm

    Kim, I forgot: a little birdie told me it’s your birthday this week. Happy birthday, sweet virtual friend!
    Jann Huizenga recently posted..The Pooches of Southeast SicilyMy Profile

  • Reply
    Pat Scattergood
    October 1, 2012 at 7:37 pm

    It will be a sweet reunion. Love you.
    Pat Scattergood recently posted..You’ve been spammed!My Profile

  • Reply
    Cait the Arty Runnerchick
    October 1, 2012 at 7:59 pm

    oh my gosh…my deepest condolences! wat a poignant way to remember your sister…and i’m so very sorry. XOXO
    Cait the Arty Runnerchick recently posted..Comment on I Run For Bribes…Bribes and Blackmail too I Guess by CaitMy Profile

  • Reply
    Impulsive Addict
    October 1, 2012 at 8:31 pm

    Another great post from you! I can’t imagine that pain and I hope I don’t have to. You will see her again. Just be patient and enjoy your time here with us until then…

    Hugs to you!!
    Impulsive Addict recently posted..I’m Talking About My Vacay to FloridaMy Profile

  • Reply
    Elephant's Child
    October 2, 2012 at 12:21 am

    So much love. So much pain. I feel them both.
    Hurting for you, hurting with you.
    She is a part of you, now and always.

  • Reply
    Valentine Logar
    October 2, 2012 at 2:35 am

    My arms go around you and hug you, it isn’t enough ever I know. But I am here and I will mourn with you. My voice won’t replace hers, but it will be a different voice to remind you, you are loved.
    Valentine Logar recently posted..Civil Free Fall, Platforms 2012My Profile

  • Reply
    Debbie
    October 2, 2012 at 3:21 am

    Your words always touch my heart. So beautiful yet so sad……always holding a good thought for you.
    Debbie recently posted..Chocolate Cream PieMy Profile

  • Reply
    Ellen M. Gregg
    October 2, 2012 at 4:05 am

    Beautiful, Kim. I love the “mama smile” through the phone; I know that smile. xoxo

  • Reply
    Sandra
    October 2, 2012 at 5:04 am

    Hugs, love and tons of birthday wishes. Your heart and your soul knows the sound of her voice.
    Sandra recently posted..Skating Party for GabrielleMy Profile

  • Reply
    barbara
    October 2, 2012 at 7:53 am

    What’s the saying? Time heals all wounds? I’m not sure that’s true but I think with time there’s clarity. As certain memories fade perhaps purpose will come clearer. Kay’s in no hurry for you to join her where she is now. She’s with you always and guiding you to new purpose.
    What do you think?
    b
    barbara recently posted..Georgia on My Mind/ 7My Profile

  • Reply
    Ameena
    October 2, 2012 at 8:24 am

    Such a pretty picture my friend…
    Ameena recently posted..road tripMy Profile

  • Reply
    Corinne Rodrigues
    October 2, 2012 at 8:30 am

    I think of you and Kay so often in my prayers, Kim. All my words sound so empty in the face of your deep, deep sorrow. ♥♥♥
    Corinne Rodrigues recently posted..What Keeps Me Awake At NightMy Profile

  • Reply
    jen
    October 2, 2012 at 8:36 am

    The love, the pain,
    the fog, the longing, the counting…
    I understand
    xxxooo jen
    jen recently posted..mish MASHMy Profile

  • Reply
    Sandy Webb
    October 2, 2012 at 8:51 am

    I am so happy you have reached this point. The grief will never, ever go away, but most do learn to live with it. Not crying for an entire week mean you are learning to live with it. It will forever be a part of you but the intensity softens. Giant hugs for you!!!
    Sandy Webb recently posted..October – The Season For CreepiesMy Profile

  • Reply
    Kimberly
    October 2, 2012 at 10:18 am

    I wish that I knew what to say.
    Just know that I love you and think about you a lot…xoxo
    Kimberly recently posted..When I Used ToMy Profile

  • Reply
    totsymae1011
    October 2, 2012 at 12:03 pm

    Beautiful writing, Kim.

    Are you contributing to Beverly’s invitation for bloggers to post on domestic violence? You’d be a strong and courageous voice for Kay, as you usually are.

    You’re getting stronger and better every day and will always miss your sister. The arms of comfort will continue to be with you.
    totsymae1011 recently posted..May I Run A Few Questions by You?My Profile

  • Reply
    Dad
    October 2, 2012 at 12:31 pm

    Kim, You are keeping the memory of Kay alive just like she is keeping several others alive by her
    organs that she donated.
    Love You So Much
    Dad

  • Reply
    Debbie
    October 2, 2012 at 12:33 pm

    You’re not really forgetting your lovely sister. This is just Time’s way of numbing the pain. I think that means you’re getting stronger! Sure, you’re always going to miss Kay and wish she were still here, but perhaps it’s a tiny bit comforting that she isn’t missing you?? I mean, if we believe that those in Heaven NEVER EVER suffer, doesn’t that mean she’s enveloped in perfect Love? And one day, when you two are reunited, what a happy celebration that will be!
    Debbie recently posted..Glimpses of AutumnMy Profile

  • Reply
    Dangerous Linda
    October 2, 2012 at 12:36 pm

    Dear Kim,

    I’m holding you in my heart.

    love, love, love.
    Dangerous Linda recently posted..The Shrewd ShrewMy Profile

  • Reply
    Kimmy
    October 2, 2012 at 3:50 pm

    Love you!!!!! Beautiful song and pics

  • Reply
    Emily
    October 2, 2012 at 4:50 pm

    You’re so beautiful, Kim.

    Thinking of you, as always —
    Emily recently posted..Daybreak in the GardenMy Profile

  • Reply
    Linda Medrano
    October 2, 2012 at 5:08 pm

    So beautiful. That’s all I can say.
    Linda Medrano recently posted..The Phone CallMy Profile

  • Reply
    Mandy - The Complete Cook Book
    October 3, 2012 at 12:22 am

    Love, love, love to you darling Kim.
    🙂 Mandy xo
    Mandy – The Complete Cook Book recently posted..In My Kitchen – October 2012My Profile

  • Reply
    Solid gold creativity
    October 3, 2012 at 6:11 am

    A week without crying is a milestone. Part bitter, part glad perhaps. All my love from Melbourne, Australia xx
    Solid gold creativity recently posted..The slow artillery of timeMy Profile

  • Reply
    Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell
    October 3, 2012 at 6:29 am

    I think she’s smiling that you hit that milestone. I really do. 🙂
    Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell recently posted..Anger on Le Catapult – WWMy Profile

  • Reply
    Beverly Diehl
    October 3, 2012 at 6:43 am

    It’s not that you will ever forget her, but that Kay’s memory will become more and more like a whisper and a caress, and less like a knife in the heart. Love her, love you.
    Beverly Diehl recently posted..Who Would Jesus Abuse? #domesticviolenceMy Profile

  • Reply
    Unknown Mami
    October 3, 2012 at 5:22 pm

    Loves and hugs, that’s all I have.
    Unknown Mami recently posted..What is Culture?My Profile

  • Reply
    Lorraine @ Not Quite Nigella
    October 3, 2012 at 10:02 pm

    Absolutely beautiful Kim. Many thoughts and big hugs to you xxx
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  • Reply
    Lady Fi
    October 4, 2012 at 8:12 am

    So painful yet so full of love and beauty.
    Lady Fi recently posted..A beautiful startMy Profile

  • Reply
    countingducks
    October 4, 2012 at 9:20 am

    I never read your posts without being moved by the quality of your feelings and the loyalty of your emotions. That she inspired such expression is an eternal tribute to her and her time with you
    countingducks recently posted..Obscure RuminationsMy Profile

  • Reply
    lisa
    October 4, 2012 at 2:35 pm

    You are setting her free Kim, and you know it’s okay, because she will always be with you.
    xo.
    lisa recently posted..Grape LoveMy Profile

  • Reply
    Brenda
    October 4, 2012 at 3:33 pm

    No words, only love. You will not forget her voice. Remember the lines, “i can you in my heart….”
    Brenda recently posted..When You Wish Upon A StarMy Profile

  • Reply
    Blond Duck
    October 4, 2012 at 5:08 pm

    I’m so sorry.
    Blond Duck recently posted..Caramel Apple DipMy Profile

  • Reply
    Kelly @ Inspired Edibles
    October 5, 2012 at 5:26 am

    Beautiful and heartbreaking. Thoughts, love and warm hugs to you – xo.
    Kelly @ Inspired Edibles recently posted..Chocolate Avocado Pudding with Coconut MilkMy Profile

  • Reply
    Vidya Sury
    October 5, 2012 at 11:54 am

    You know I mourn with you, Kim, each time you express your feelings about Kay. The love we have for those we lose keeps us going, because they live in our hearts, our actions and our memories. Somehow this helps us survive sanely, most of the time. Kay lives on through the people she gave life to. God bless you! I wash you peace, my dearest Kim!

    Thinking of you and love you very much!
    Vidya
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  • Reply
    (FL) Girl with a New Life
    October 9, 2012 at 8:15 am

    Sending more love and light your way.
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  • Reply
    Lady E
    October 9, 2012 at 12:04 pm

    oh Kim, I can feel you torn between hope, the gently fading pain, the life that goes on regardless, and your grief, your sadness at letting little bits of Kay go…
    All I can do is send you much love from across the ocean. Wish I could hold you and say Things will never be the same, but they will be ok.
    xoxo
    Lady E recently posted..Guess who…My Profile

  • Reply
    marie
    October 24, 2012 at 6:55 am

    Your words are always so beautiful and painful Kim………….hang on there, Kay is with you wherever you go, whatever you do, whenever you feel sad.
    LOVE. xx
    marie recently posted..Just some words……..My Profile

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