**“**Help” is a
prayer that is always answered. It doesn’t matter how you pray–with your head
bowed in silence, or crying out in grief, or dancing. Churches are good for
prayer, but so are garages and cars and mountains and showers and dance floors.*****Annie Lamott, Thoughts on Faith
~It’s been 828 days
since your execution.
A moment in time.
An eternity.
It’s been HELL on
earth if you want the whole damn truth.
I don’t remember the
first 730 days.
Not thru the fog, the
wine, the weeping.
I’ve never lied to you. I shant begin now.
My heart is shattered.
My soul is crushed.
Still.
I walk the earth in
segments.
Half a segment here.
The mind over
there.
A disconnected
life.
My organs weep for
you, lament for you, miss you.
But I suppose you
already know that, don’t you? You know
how I utterly despise any sort of change.
Especially my new
reality with you gone gone gone gone fucking gone.
GONE. What a heartbreaking, dark, sad, pathetic, pitiful
word.
Anyhow, I’ve been thinking about how we used to pray
together.
Grasping one
another’s hand, closing our eyes as if
taking communion.
“Thank You.
Thank You. Thank you.”
I remember staring
at your fingers exclaiming, “They’re Gigantic!”
And you’d get quite
irritated- as sister’s do…. “They’re big boned.
NOT Gigantic! Now shut your mouth and pray.”
“Lord, God,
Thank you for Kay. I love love
love her. I couldn’t live without her. I pray you have great plans for her
future. I pray Mike will leave her
alone. I pray he will just leave. Just leave. Just leave. I pray all of her dreams will come true. Thank you. Thank you. AaaaMEN.”
“Dear, Jesus,
thank you for Kim. I pray she
will write a book and dedicate it to her gorgeous sister.”
“Be seeeerious.” I giggle & snort.
“Okay. I pray You
will use her writing for Your glory. I
pray you will soften Mike’s heart so he can be happy. I mean, really really
happy without me. Thank you. AaaaMEN.”
That’s how it used
to be. Our praying, I mean. We didn’t ask for much. Did we?
Not much…except for
happiness, joy, contentment.
That’s why I continually
contemplate why I’m here without you, stuck on this earth without you.
After your
execution, I wandered aimlessly holding my hand to my heart.
I asked Dave over and over and over again…
“How can my heart hurt so much and still
beat?”
It still
beats. I find that absolutely fantastically astonishing.
When I pray
now, I simply say to God, shout to
God, cry to God….
“Help me. Help me.
Help me.”
And sometimes from
a distance, thru the tears, the wind, the black fangs, the loneliness—
I hear Him calling my name—”Kim. Kim. Kim”—like a little
prayer…
And I know, sometimes I know….
everything is going to be okay.
——My Dear
Reader, How Do You Pray? I play THIS!
My Soul Mate was executed by Mike Peterson on May 26, 2010. My Heart will never be put back together again….
~~~~Get Help NOW for Verbal Abuse, Emotional Abuse, Sexual Abuse, Physical Abuse, Finacial Abuse- or any other kinds of abuse…..800-799-SAFE (7233) or at TTY 1-800-787-3224.
http://www.thehotline.org/get-help/help-in-your-area/ Do Not Wait One. More. Solitary. Day.




my favorite madonna song. one of my favorite songs, period. profound spiritual truth.
did kay really say that to you when she was alive? about writing a book? the lord works in mysterious ways. i believe we came here to do certain things and some of them are not easy. which highlights the profundity of Life.
love & kisses, kim! XOXOX
Dangerous Linda recently posted..good morning, love
Linda,
xx
yes, Kay ALWAYS said that. She was (Is) my greatest fan
you move me with your words. my little brother was supposed to turn 34 tomorrow. Having a hard time wrapping it in my head.
Adriana recently posted..Once in a blue moon…
Dear Adriana,
I am thinking about you today.
It’s just NOT right that your little brother is not here.
Love. love.Xxxx
I Love You!!!!!
Love you Back. Xx
I hope you find some peace in your prayers. xo
Alison recently posted..Foodie Friday: Salted Espresso Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies
Thank You, Mama A. Xx
I’m praying for you Kim.
Sandra recently posted..Part 2 – Back to School and Birthday Cakes
Sandra,
I would NEVER turn down a prayer Xxx thank you.
May the lord listen to your prayers.
Emily Woodhouse recently posted..רדאיקס – Exchange solutions
He is….
Xx
You are in my prayers for peace – the peace that can only come from God, not the horrid circumstances. Peace that flows from the top of your head, down to the soles of your feet like warm honey. Peace that quietly says, “Kim, I am so fine and happy because I’m with Jesus.” Peace that says, “Someday you will see her again.” Peace!
nan @ lbddiaries recently posted..Men and Intimacy
Nan,
I love love love.
Like warm honey. Ohhh, I hope I hope.. Xxx
I am amazed you keep the loving alive with all your heart. Love you!
Heal Now and Forever recently posted..Push Beyond Your Limits
Jodi,
Love you for loving me & ALL your support…. Xx
Beautiful Kim, it seems that God gave you love enough for ten sisters. Either that you are just LOVE¹º !!
Do you remember Annie Lamott telling about a woman who couldn’t think of words to use in prayer? So in the morning she said, “Hi God. Whatever.”
Then at night, she’d say, “Hi God. Oh Well…”
Thank goodness your husband was able to bear your broken heart. Lesser men have let go… XO.
Amy@SoulDipper recently posted..Occupy Blogosphere – Thursday, August 30, 2012
*Hi God. Whatever.”
That sounds so very Lamott. I loooove.
Xxx Kisses for you.
My prayers are more conversational than traditional (whatever that means). But I pray for peace a lot. Peace of mind
Peace between enemies
Peace in my family
Peace on earth…
that sort of thing.
One of the conversational prayers might go like this… Dear God, please smack my kids upside the head and make them realize they are the only brothers they have!
Hang in Kim. Your answers will be revealed.
b
Barbara recently posted..And the Winner IS>>>
Dear b,
that is FUNNY. I love how you talk to God. He must smile when you pray
Love you always, Kim. “Gone” is a four-letter word. You are in my prayers. My best prayers are when I light my lamp in the morning. Sometimes I cry, sometimes I am silent. Sometimes I share a joke with God. But I never quit praying.
Love you more than three hundred Buddhist Monks praying at the Monastery, serenely, silently.
Vidya
Vidya Sury recently posted..People Watching
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I love how you love, Sweet Vidya.
What joke do you share w/ God? I’d love to know.
Love you more than 5 Siamese Cats in the Minnesota Sun. Xxxx
I, too, find myself praying a LOT. There’s so much to pray about, and so many to pray for, these days. Dear Kim, I hope you’ll find some peace in your prayers. Just know that one day, you and your beloved sister will be reunited — and that will be a glorious day! Hugs to you, my friend.
Debbie recently posted..Bon Voyage
Debbie,
Yes, I KNOW we will be together…
it’s just the “Down here” that is difficult!
So many people to pray for. We are ALL fighting our own battles.
xxx love.
Your prayers and words are beautiful my friend – I am here for you
Hugs
Uru
Choc Chip Uru recently posted..Guest Post #3: Chocolate Amaretti Torte
Thanks, Choc <3 Xx
Dear Kim, I can feel your invisible pain, and feel so close… Big hugs from very far away xx
Lady E recently posted..To be confirmed
Lady E.
I think you may need a hug as bad as I do…
I am hugging you back. Xxx
What an amazing & beautiful & sad poem, Kim. Sending oodles of love your way. xxxxxxxxxxxx
Jann Huizenga recently posted..Living Quietly: Life in a Sicilian Village
I feel your oodles, Jann.
All the way from Italy
))) xxxxx
Hi Kim, Your posts always touch my heart. When I pray I say the Lord’s Prayer and try to always be thankful for what I have and not to ever take anything or anyone for granted. Life is so precious. I know God is listening and I try to be patient and remember that He always knows what is best even if I don’t understand it at the moment. Just keep blogging Kim…….you are touching many people…….
Debbie recently posted..Peaches and Cream Pie
Debbie,
I’ve been saying the 23rd Psalm for 2 years strait.
This has been my most beautiful prayer that I have memorized.
Xxx
Oh Kim. Such love. Such shared love. Which makes the pain you are going through sharper and deeper. How I love to hear that sometimes tiny slivers of hope are there too.
Hurting for you, hurting with you. As always.
Elephant’s Child recently posted..Guest post
Dear E,
Yes. So much love…& that means So much more pain. But if Kay were here…i’d even love her MORE.
Thank you for hurting w/ me. I loved the card! Thank you, dear. Xxxxxxx
I am sitting next to you with my arm around you! Just to let you know I care.
Irene recently posted..Here’s Your Free Sample
I feel your warm arm, Irene.
Love. Thank you. Xxxx
I pray that one day you find peace.
Linda Medrano recently posted..Pacification with Pork Chops
–Full peace when I meet Kay again, Linda. Xxxx
I pray in all sorts of ways. Sitting at the computer, reading as you express your grief so well, I say a prayer for you. xo
Liz recently posted..Brown Butter M&M Cookies….#SundaySupper, #LaborDay
I love that you pray in all sorts of ways, Liz.
I have a feeling that God loves this, too. Xxx
“I walk the earth in segments.” That is so heartbreaking and so honest.
Your heart is full of love, Kim, and you reach out to others with your love. Selfishly, I can say that I needed that today! Thank you for sharing yourself. Thank you for sharing that beautiful song. Blessings to you.
Tina Barbour recently posted..Hopelessness
Dear Tina,
Sending you love & my appreciation. xxx
Your words are always so powerful… so raw, straight to the core, meaning ever-so-clear. Stories full of sadness, utter longing but also, with wonderful memories that warm the soul. I don’t even know you and yet, my heart breaks for your loss and what your sister went through. Although I have three sisters, I do not share (have never shared) this powerful relationship you had with your sister, Kay. My heart breaks for that as well.
My life is shared with a wonderful man who loves me to pieces, builds me up, is my greatest fan, who’s only pursuit in life is to bring me happiness. He has no tolerance for violence against women, children or animals. I wish every woman could experience such a love. I wish Kay had experienced such a love.
I wish you peace, Kim. Your words, this blog, all the information you provide will help many women who are in the position Kay was in. From this tragedy, you are saving women. That’s for damn sure. You are an angel. Hugs.
Milkayphoto recently posted..Identity Crisis
Dear Milk,
I love that your man LOVES and Respects you. I loooooove that.
I wish Kay would have had that,as well. Ohhhh, I wish. I wish…
When we used to walk together, she’d ALWAYS say, “I want a man who adores me, loves me, respects me…”
She never did. I’m so so so so so sad about that.
But what I am not sad about is that she is now FREE of her stalker. I thank God for that. Free at last…
Thank you for you most beauiful words. Xxxx
I am continuously touched by the depth of the closeness you shared with your sister. I can not fathom the loss. May God hear your prayers and may you feel the comfort of Him holding you in the palm of His hand.
May recently posted..Other Side of the Tracks in Guthrie
May,
Thank you. The loss is GREAT… but knowing I will see her again spurs me onward…
Xxx
Others have noted it and I want to add my voice to theirs. It is as you and Kay created it in prayer: God is using you and your words. One of the things you are teaching us is how to be with the unbearable. All my love and admiration xx
Solid gold creativity recently posted..United Nations of Blogging
Solid,
your word just filled me up. Thank You. Xxxxx
You write so well Kim. But remember Kay’s prayer – she wanted you to write a book and dedicate it to her. That’s a great prayer and I’ll pray it comes true! xx
Hotly Spiced recently posted..Harbour Hike
Dear Hot,
this shall be done. Xxx Thanks for your support, dear.
When I get real quiet it happens. It doesn’t matter where or when or who is around-the world just goes quiet and then it is done.
mamawolfe recently posted..Book Review: Her Fearful Symmetry
b e a u t i f u l. Xxx
Your poetry is so beautiful Kim. Like you and Kay xxx
Lorraine @ Not Quite Nigella recently posted..T-t-tea Bag Cookies!
Lorraine,
LOVE when you visit me on this end of the world. XX
I love your candid writing Kim, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!
Mandy xo
Mandy – The Complete Cook Book recently posted..Must Make Muffins
Mandy,
& I love your LOVE, my fellow Cat Woman. Xxx
I wish I had words that could help, but… Just know you are in my thoughts all the time… big hugs!
Hilary,
sometimes words are so inadequate, aren’t they?
But I appreciate yours. Xx
I’ve been there, Kim. Where you don’t know HOW to pray, so you just ask for God’s help. And you and Kay can still pray together, you know. True she’s with God, but she can still pray to Him and ask Him for things (at least, I like to think so
. Don’t allow this physical plane of existence to separate you two in prayer.
I love you, lady!
Tara
Tara recently posted..The Virgin Mary’s on my tree.
Tara,
I love that!!! Love you 2. Xxxxx
I like (THOUGHTS OF FAITH) by Annie Lamott. I tkink i pray pretty much, sometimes in my den,
or in the shower, my car, on my swing, in bed & etc. Never quit praying, Jesus commands that.
We will never understand why things happen on this earth until we meet Jesus face to face.
Never quiit writting Kim, you are an encourgement to me and so many others.
LOVE YOU
DAD
Daddy,
You are my HERO. You always have been.
I love you more than 5 tigers 6 white lions & Dove chocolate. Xxx
You are surviving this even though sometimes you hate that fact. Your sister would be furious with you if you didn’t. And I love the fact that your heart beats on. xo
Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell recently posted..The Great Macaroni & Cheese War!
Liz,
beautifully stated. thank you, dear. Xx
Kim, You’re making a difference through your heart, your words. Never forget that. You have a purpose and you’re here to tell Kay’s story so that it may help others with abusive men in their lives. Bless you, Kim.
Monica recently posted..In the Hot Seat
Monica,
Ohhh, I do hope so…
Love. Xxxx Kiss
I agree with so many posters…you are making a difference in others lives by shedding light on domestic violence…I do hope it helps you get through it a little easier.
Ameena recently posted..a beam of light
Ameena,
Never easier….Just tolerable. xxx
Kim, you know I feel your heartbeat in my blood. I feel your sister in my breath, when I draw it in I demand justice and but when I release it I defy those who would have ever defined me by their actions. Those prayers are not just prayers said before they are prayers still said today, still prayers of hearts and souls entwined. You walk the earth the earth in segments, Kay surrounds you with love trying to mend those segments trying to stitch pieces back together, with memories and prayers.
You powerful voice heals so many, touches so many.
I love you
Val
**I feel your heartbeat in my blood. I feel your sister in my breath**
Oh, Val,
that about knocked my socks off. I sooo love. Love Love. those words.
Love you back. Xxxx
Love that you are expressing everything in your heart Kim. That’s a beautiful thing.
Peace and love to you -
xoxo.
Kelly @ Inspired Edibles recently posted..White Bean & Feta Pita Pockets + 3 Other Mouthwatering Meatless Meals!
Kelly,
Love to you in Canada. Always. Xxx
You write so beautifully even though your heart is full of pain.
Lady Fi recently posted..Spider art
Lady Fi,
your words & photos make this so-called journey a bit lighter. Xxx
My prayers start with “thank you.”
Thank you, God, for… family and friends, a body getting healthy, a place to live, food to nourish me, this amazing life. Thank you.
Thank you, Kim, for sharing your inner heart with us, and for keeping me aware of the fragility that is the human existence. Thank you, Kim, for ensuring I don’t take my beloveds for granted for one.single.second. xoxo
–Thank You is the most Perfect Prayer, Sweet Ellen. Xxxxx
Prayer has power – I keep you in my prayers Kim and ask God to fill your heart with peace. I know it can only be small bits as your heart is forever broken but maybe it can help to continue the road.
Much love.
xx
Marie,
I SOOO believe in the POWER of prayer…
This is one of the reasons I’m still alive…
Xxx
I don’t pray. But lately, I wish I still knew how.
Bridget recently posted..Texting Etiquette
Dear B,
I memorized the 23rd Psalm. Thank Goodness, cuz I can’t pray like I used to. I cry too much…
Xxxxx
One of my favorite songs from Madonna.
I don’t know that i really pray, but I do do a lot of talking things through.
You are an amazing spirit my friend.
xo.
Liz,
And you are amazing, too, My Dear. Xx
Love you and Kay always
Kimmy,
I love you, my Angel. Xx
Beautiful poetry in both the post (the strongest of love) and musical choice for the sentiment and act. I am more a talker and star gazer than one to sit down and pray. I suspect the big Guy has his eye on you making sure you’re doing OK. I know he watches over both Kay and you.
Brenda recently posted..No Regrets
Brenda,
Love when you stop over to read my Mourning. Xxxx
I’ve been having my own struggles with faith lately. I’m waiting on test results and am DYING. I can’t imagine having pain with no end and finding faith.
Blond Duck recently posted..Book Review: Fashion Lookbook
Dear Ducky,
I know your results will be fine Xx
Without Faith, I’d Be NOTHING or dead.
My Inner Chick recently posted..When You Call My Name-It’s Like A Little Prayer
I whisper prayers throughout the day and I don’t even feel comfortable calling it praying.
Unknown Mami recently posted..Yelling Parent: My Daughter Called Me Out
Mami,
He says to pray ceaselessly. I used to do this all thru the day…
Now all the words are fragemented.
Xxx
I pray through song…through words…through thoughts and sometimes through tears. I do believe He hears them all and understands…even when we don’t, Kim.
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted..Understanding Peace At Last
Corinne,
I do, too. He hears Eveything. Everything.
Without God,
I am NOTHING.
Xxxxx
My Inner Chick recently posted..When You Call My Name-It’s Like A Little Prayer
That was beautiful. As long as we are here there is something the Lord wants us to do. As much as you miss your sister, you can help her live on and glorify God by encouraging women in similar situations to take action. The depth of love for your sister moves me.
Jamie@SouthMainMuse recently posted..I found what’s wrong with IKEA.
Jamie,
I completely agree…
but it’s SOOOOOOO hard w/out her here. Very very hard. Xx
My results weren’t what I wanted, but they were a sign. It’s just sad that my pain is brief, while yours is eternal.

Blond Duck recently posted..Wings 41
Ducky,
I hope you are alright, dear. Xxx
I pray much the same way you and Kay prayed, except i throw in some fancy words like, “Have your angels protects us”…I wonder what the Lord’s plan was for taking Kay so soon. It is unfolding. And yet you will feel that pain in your heart always….she’s not even my sister, and when I read your powerful writing, I ache for her. I know she was right though: You will write a masterpiece, and I’ll be at that book signing…just wait till I graduate from university though and am gainfully employed so I can afford to fly out to whatever city you’re in! xoxo
Sandra recently posted..Hallelujah and praise the Lord!
Sandra,
Looooove that you pray. God is the only reason I still exist. Without Him–I am nothing at all.
I shall fly out to be at your book signing, as well ::)))
Will you graduated w/ your Phd in Nursing? Xxx
Such a loss! But such a deep, moving post…thank you for sharing.
Anne @ Zen and Genki recently posted..Vintage Goodies: Grandma Lovin’
Thank you for visiting my Mouning Pages, Anne. x
As you know I have given up on prayer. It did not and has not worked for me. I admire that you can continue your faith. Many, many don’t after something so horrific. I am one of them.
Sandy Webb recently posted..Sandy’s Dog Boarding
Without Prayer & God, I would have perished 2 years ago.
Love you, Sandy <3
One of the best songs I’ve ever heard, thanks for putting me into the mood, I like it so much!
Borka recently posted..Vakáció helyett fogbeültetés: implantáció
which song? Madonna? Xx
My Inner Chick recently posted..When You Call My Name-It’s Like A Little Prayer
I love the title of your post. I lost my mother when I was 16, the pain, heartbreak and tears have lessened over the years but it never goes away. I pray for your peach, I share your pain and love that you are honoring your sister and sharing her life with us. .
Linda,
it will NEVER go away…we must just learn to live w/ it I guess.
IT SUCKSSSSssss.
Xx
My Inner Chick recently posted..When You Call My Name-It’s Like A Little Prayer
I haven’t heard that Madonna song in a long time. I know your pain will never go away but you are doing really good things to raise awareness so that others will not have to suffer your loss.
Jessica recently posted..Essence Of Now: Labor
Jessica,
Always love when you visit my mourning pages ! x
I adore this quote at the beginning of this post.
Me? I pray all the time–standing up, sitting down, talking a walk. Maybe even in my writing I’m sending up a prayer.
(FL) Girl with a New Life recently posted..Getting Cozy: Preparing for Fall Guests
Fl.
Love that you pray everywhere<3
I am usually praying HELP HELP HELP
xx
I used to pray a lot, i still do but in a different way. I’m not able to pray now or ask for anything. I just sit quiet, trying to clear my mind and I call God. I just call Him, God…. God… God
Nikky44 recently posted..Sometimes i wish….