–This is howÂ Magic Bars Should Look–
~My family loves loves loves Magic Bars, thus I purchase the
ingredients to make these little sins for the our July 4th
Chocolate Chips, Butterscotch Chips, Coconut. Graham
Crackers, Butter, Pecans, everything but the kitchen sink are in these babies.Â Seriously.
Just writing this, I
can feel my ass enlarging
Anyhow, I forget one vital ingredient:Â The Sweetened Condensed Milk.
I desperately donâ€™t want to go back to the chaotic grocery store
for one can of SCM, Â because Iâ€™m already
mixing, adding, preheating the oven, and have Madonna cranked to maximum volume.
Confessions On A Dance Floor is a great baking CD) by the way.
I immediately Google how to create my missing ingredient by
myself.Â How hard can it possibly be?
To my surprise, I find the recipe on Paula Deenâ€™s Web Site.
Yes,Â Itâ€™s there.Â You RoooooCK Paula!
Iâ€™m so excited about this discovery that I dance to Madonna
in the middle of the carpet while Mr. Liverpool shakes his head at me because heâ€™s
trying to watch soccer.
â€śHey, turn up the music a Â little, will ya?â€ť I tease.
Another shake of the head, an eye roll, a long sigh.
I dance in front of the television set.
â€śDonâ€™t ya think Iâ€™m sexy:::: donâ€™t ya::: donâ€™t ya?â€ť
Okay, enough bugging Mr. L.
He doesnâ€™t Â give a
shit that I found my own recipe for SCMâ€¦.
And clearly, soccer is more important than I.
Okay, so I make the stuff, and it looks E X S A C T L Y
like the store bought
Thick & Cream Colored.
â€śWell, Iâ€™ll be a
son-of-a-biiiiitch,â€ťÂ I shout over to Mr.
L. “It turned OUT!”
He ignores me.
I pour the mixture on top of my graham crackers and it
looks, well, it looks all Paula Deen like.
Ahhh,Â the insignificant
things in life can be quite significant sometimes.
Long story short,Â My Magic Bars
turn out like this.Â
A chocolate- graham -crackery Disaster.Â Â Â WTH?Â Â Â I consider telling everybody it’s a mud pie dessert.
But instead, I tell Mr. L. Â we need to stop at the grocery store (again) on the way to the party.Â Yes, I know,Â I should have bought the lousy can of SCM from the very beginning.
I bought a lovelyÂ Lemon Meringue Pie, which was DElish.
—Dear Reader,Â when you don’t follow directions, do you ever end up with a complete catastrophe?Â Â Tell me about it.
LISTEN TO MADONNA !!_Â My newest addiction.