In Memory of Kay

21 Things I Learned After Your Murder


 

It’s been 2 years since your execution.

730 days since the coward bastard
son-of-a-bitch stood behind you and pulled the trigger three times.

It seems like a million years, dear.  It seems like a split second in time, my
love.

I still feel your cheek against my cheek.

I still smell your perfume lingering in air.

Your heartbeat is my heartbeat.

Warm. Alive. Pumping.

Your roots tangle & twist inside my
roots.

Nothing much has changed

Except the world turned upside down.

Except my soul cries out for you in the middle
of the night.

“Kay. Kay. Kay.

Come back to me. Come back to me.”

 

In 2 years, I’ve drank lots
of  red wine, prayed lots of prayers, and
cried lots of tears

I tried to escape this new reality
–if you want the whole truth.

 

I tried to find a way out.

 

I sought out other options.

 

But I’m here.

 

I’m here.

 

…& these are a few things I’ve
learned in the midst of darkness…….

 

1.  That life as you
know it can change in  one.  solitary.
moment.

 

2.  That mourning is
born, but doesn’t  die.

 

3.  That when people tell
you it gets easier and better,  they
don’t know shit.  Please, Shut Up!

 

4.  That unexpected, unimaginable
angels soar into your life to rescue you.

 

5.  That your truest
friends never leave your side. Ever.
Even when you’re craaazy, out of control,  irrational, and tell the same stories over
over over.

 

6.  That your weakest
moments become your strongest moments.

 

7.  That darkness exists.

 

8.  That God exists.

 

9.  That writing with
your own blood saves you.

 

10.That there is a deep, profound core inside your body reserved
for grieving.

 

11.That anybody who belittles, demeans, minimizes, or  makes you feel less than is an “abuser.”  Period.

 

12.That when you feel something insidious and gnawing within
your gut, do not ignore it.

 

13.That past behavior determines future behavior.  In other words, people generally do not
change.  When they say something the
first time, believe them.  You better
believe them.

 

14.That nobody will ever know me like you, love me like you,
or accept me like you.

 

15.That the sun glimmers differently without you.

 

16.That Domestic Abuse is not merely the fist, but the
tongue.

 

17.That it is entirely possible to weep incessantly and
endlessly for 2 years strait.

 

18.That our pain becomes our purpose.

 

19.That life goes on, even when you don’t.

 

20.That the world cannot give you the peace you desire.  Only God can.

 

21.That one can wear a mask with feathers, smiles, and vivid
red lipstick and fool the whole fucking universe.

~My best friend, sister, & soul mate was murdered by Mike Peterson on May 26, 2010.  The world turned upside down, the sun diminished, the universe weighs so much less…but I am still here.  Love Love Love….  Always.  So much love, my dear Kay.

pink lips

Our Song….

~~~~Get Help  NOW for Domestic Violence, Verbal Violence, Emotional Violence, Sexual Violence…..800-799-SAFE (7233) or at TTY 1-800-787-3224.

http://www.thehotline.org/get-help/help-in-your-area/

 


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136 Comments

  • Reply
    Adriana
    May 26, 2012 at 8:42 am

    ditto to number 3. thanks. also mourning lasts until the day we ourselves perish. xoxo
    Adriana recently posted..About Twelve and Mojitos…My Profile

  • Reply
    Vidya Sury
    May 26, 2012 at 8:50 am

    21 truths. and yes, no.3 breaks my heart too. As does 18. Some mornings I just don’t want to wake up – you know? That’s for 14.

    Life just goes on.

    Thank you Kim, for expressing so beautifully what most of us only feel and think about. Thank you for being my voice.

    Love you more than the sunshine.

    Hugs, Vidya
    Vidya Sury recently posted..Staying On TopMy Profile

  • Reply
    Ashley Pariseau
    May 26, 2012 at 8:58 am

    Always such inspiring words.
    Ashley Pariseau recently posted..PhotoshootMy Profile

  • Reply
    Red Dwyer
    May 26, 2012 at 9:00 am

    So much love for you, Kim. Two years is just the blink of an eye. No, it does not get easier or better or further away when we love the ones we lost. The people who tell you that have never loved anyone they lost.

    One thing you learned is YOU are never less than. Never. Ever.

    I cannot know your pain, but I can share it. I love you. Love your heart. Love your faith.
    Red.
    xxx
    Red Dwyer recently posted..Sticks & StonesMy Profile

  • Reply
    elizabeth
    May 26, 2012 at 9:05 am

    Dear Kim,

    Kay reminds me almost daily that love is the answer. Sending you and your family much love, hugs, shared tears and support. Love you, my dear friend. elizabeth xoxox

  • Reply
    Nikky44
    May 26, 2012 at 9:12 am

    I had plans for today Kim. I wanted to write something nice for my son who is celebrating today his 13th birthday. Then I thought I won’t. I thought I can’t write something that wouldn’t sound sad on this day, so I preferred to write a letter to Kay. I started then thought what would anyone think if i did since I only know her through your words? All I finally did was think of you and send my love.
    I read by coincidence a nice article on a Blog that I wanted to share with you. Again I hesitated and just shared it on my wall praying you would see it.
    I so want to help but I don’t know how. I wanted to say that i can’t pretend to know how you feel because no one can. I wish there was anything that makes it better, but I know there isn’t.
    The only thing I know is that Kay is happier where she is, that her love for you has never been as strong as it is now, and that she wants you to be happy.
    Love you Kim <3
    Nikky44 recently posted..I Miss You 🙁My Profile

  • Reply
    Helen Herrick
    May 26, 2012 at 9:23 am

    Two endless years. Every day an eternity. Sigh. I love you for carrying on. I am so sorry I had to work and missed the walk. May you find a moment of peace in your day.

  • Reply
    Ronda Erie
    May 26, 2012 at 9:28 am

    My dear friend, my heart aches for you! I am sending you love, prayers, and support today and every other day of your life. I love you!!!!

  • Reply
    Ellen M. Gregg
    May 26, 2012 at 9:32 am

    Holding Kay – and you, dear Kim, and your family – especially close today. xo
    Ellen M. Gregg recently posted..Out Of My Comfort Zone. Again.My Profile

  • Reply
    Joan
    May 26, 2012 at 9:33 am

    Dear dear Kim,

    I am thinking of you on this day. It is yet another reminder of the violence that took your beautiful sister away from you and her family. Nothing can bring her back. Your words are a beautiful memorial to her. Thank you for writing such a wonderful blog that always makes me cry and often makes me laugh. Be kind to yourself today. Cry, laugh, sob, giggle, drink some wine, eat some of Saint Shirley’s Chocolate Chip cookies, play, read, write and just be yourself. I am so glad that I know you.
    Joan recently posted..Happy Memorial DayMy Profile

  • Reply
    Bridget
    May 26, 2012 at 9:33 am

    True words friend, as always. Love and peace to you and thank you for sharing all these feelings with all of us.
    Bridget recently posted..I’m Totally Famous NowMy Profile

  • Reply
    Brenda
    May 26, 2012 at 10:32 am

    “your truest friends never leave you…” Miss Kim, you are indeed blessed, I know you look around every day with a fractured heart and wonder, but then you breathe in the love of those who are always there..
    Brenda recently posted..The Next StopMy Profile

  • Reply
    marie
    May 26, 2012 at 10:37 am

    Wise words Kim on this day when 2 years ago madness took away love far away from you. It never gets better, how can it be. Sending my love, knowing the pain kills every part of you but even in pain you stand and let the world know THIS is not tolerable.
    XXXXXXX
    marie recently posted..Pieces of JewelleryMy Profile

  • Reply
    Valentine Logar
    May 26, 2012 at 10:44 am

    You have expressed in 21 what some of us never are able to say no matter how we try. We can only try to stand beside you and with you.

    Val
    Valentine Logar recently posted..Spare a Job, Brother?My Profile

  • Reply
    Tia
    May 26, 2012 at 10:53 am

    Oh God– how I wish we could turn back time. I love you Kim.

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      May 28, 2012 at 7:20 am

      I’d CHANGE many things. Wouldn’t you? Xx

      lovelovelvoe.

  • Reply
    Emily @ 2 little birds
    May 26, 2012 at 10:57 am

    This post speaks to my soul and is so immensely powerful to me. As I read your list and reflected on my own mourning of a great loss I found myself thinking “yes! Yes! Exactly!” you’ve put into words some of my own feelings. Carry on for your sister and tell the world about your loss, tell those who will listen and those who won’t! Do it for her and for yourself.

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      May 28, 2012 at 7:21 am

      Emily,
      Thank you for reading my mourning pages. So glad you could relate. Xx

  • Reply
    totsymae1011
    May 26, 2012 at 10:59 am

    My great-grandmother said also, that people generally don’t change. And yes, I believe what someone says the first time. It speaks volumes. Kay seemed to be a forgiving and kind soul. Forgiving is a strength not everyone has. I know you will always miss and long for her. What you had was so special. The stories you tell of your closeness is so endearing and pure. You bring the world into your pleasure and the pain of missing her and we’re here to embrace you and Kay.

    Hugggssss
    totsymae1011 recently posted..Underneath All These Clothes Is A WomanMy Profile

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      May 28, 2012 at 7:22 am

      Tots,
      I feel NO hate for Kay’s murderer. I only feel indifference.

      I hope he is not in Hell. I pray he is not.

      His true hell is not being w/ Kay. He will never be with Kay again.

      Love Xxxxx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..21 Things I Learned After Your MurderMy Profile

  • Reply
    Lady Fi
    May 26, 2012 at 12:38 pm

    I feel your pain. Hugs.
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  • Reply
    The Bipolar Diva
    May 26, 2012 at 1:00 pm

    Oh Kim, unfortunately, as I told you, I can identify now. Only from the other side. The feelings are overwhelming and the most horrible of all things horrible. Much love to you always.
    The Bipolar Diva recently posted..UnimaginableMy Profile

  • Reply
    Ann
    May 26, 2012 at 1:11 pm

    I wish I had magic words for you today – I don’t. ….but I’m always here to read to your words.

    Hugs, love, wine and chocolate~
    Ann
    Ann recently posted..Sometimes you just know…..My Profile

  • Reply
    Alison@Mama Wants This
    May 26, 2012 at 5:10 pm

    Am thinking of you on this day, Kim. Much love. xo
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  • Reply
    Hotly Spiced
    May 26, 2012 at 7:15 pm

    What a sad and difficult day for you. They say pain lessens with time but I don’t think it does. I think we just learn to live with it. I’m so sorry for your loss. xx
    Hotly Spiced recently posted..Day TwoMy Profile

  • Reply
    Jann Huizenga
    May 26, 2012 at 10:44 pm

    Kim, I’m so sorry you had to learn these 21 things. #18, that our pain becomes our purpose, is so true of you. Now you are out to save others and you have turned your despair into your passions for poetry and helping others avoid Kay’s fate. You’re so inspiring & wonderful. xxxxxxxxxxxx000000000
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  • Reply
    nan @ lbddiaries
    May 26, 2012 at 10:46 pm

    Oh. Kim. My heart is breaking and soaring and aching and with you all the way. So much truth packed into 21 simple little sentences. Full of power and heartache. Full of wisdom. It is true

    That anybody who belittles, demeans, minimizes, or makes you feel less than— is an “abuser.” Period. and
    That Domestic Abuse is not merely the fist, but the tongue.

    Bruises heal more quickly than the damage the tongue causes. Years can go by and some random thing can still cause a flashback, totally unexpected and surprising. It makes me angry sometimes that someone who is dead can still hold power over me. simply because of the terrible voice he had.

    Hold your heart to keep it inside you, and please keep preaching and teaching and sharing. It is so needed.
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      May 28, 2012 at 7:31 am

      ~~~Dear, Nan,
      It is so weird.

      The world is better without the murderer. I am sad about that…sad that he never contributed or loved or changed…

      but the world is SO MUCH LESS without Kay. So much less.

      He has NO MORE POWER.

      NONE.

      Thank you, as always, for your words of wisdom. Xxxxxx000
      My Inner Chick recently posted..21 Things I Learned After Your MurderMy Profile

  • Reply
    Elephant's Child
    May 26, 2012 at 10:47 pm

    Oh sweet heart. Such profound and painful truths. I so wish that you hadn’t learnt them, and that no-one else need learn them either.
    No that sort of pain doesn’t leave. It redefines you and reshapes you. A different you is born and carries that huge loss forward.
    I am in awe at the positive things you have done in Kay’s name.
    Hurting for you, hurting with you. Now and always.

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 28, 2012 at 7:36 am

      Dear E,
      As aways, I adore your beautiful inspiring words. Xxx Now and Aways.

  • Reply
    Monica
    May 26, 2012 at 10:55 pm

    Wow, Kim. Powerful, raw and honest post. I especially like #16. It is so true. Words can hurt deeply. My ex excelled at this. Sending you a big hug, Kim!
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    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 28, 2012 at 7:37 am

      Monica,
      So glad you got rid of your icky ex.

      Sending hugs back to you. Xx

  • Reply
    Lorraine @ Not Quite Nigella
    May 27, 2012 at 5:00 am

    You are so wise Kim. Beautiful post! I imagine Kay is very proud of you xxx
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    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 28, 2012 at 7:37 am

      Lorraine,
      Love when you visit Minnesota. Xxxx

  • Reply
    Kimberly
    May 27, 2012 at 6:01 am

    I know the last one all too well…
    Much love to you Kim. You are such a brave beautiful soul.
    Keep talking to us.
    xoxo
    Kimberly recently posted..Secret Mommy-hood Confession SaturdayMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 28, 2012 at 7:38 am

      Kimberly,
      yes, the last one is a way of survival, isn’t it?

      It not, some of us would be in a NUT FARM. Xxxx Love Love Love.

  • Reply
    Mandy - The Complete Cook Book
    May 27, 2012 at 6:23 am

    I really do pray for the day that you and I can sit over a bottle of wine and talk, talk, talk!
    Have a beautiful and happy week darling Kim.
    🙂 Mandy. xo
    PS. I Hope I gave you the correct conversions for the recipe that you were asking for.

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 28, 2012 at 7:39 am

      Mandy,
      we’d have LOTS and endless things to talk about, wouldn’t we?

      Perhaps one day. Xxxxx

      Thanks for the converted recipe!! X

  • Reply
    stephanie
    May 27, 2012 at 9:09 am

    Powerful. #13 spoke to me. I learned this the hard way. I’m sorry for your tremendous loss. I’m glad you wrote about it. We can all learn from your words.
    stephanie recently posted..If You Meet the Buddha on the Road…My Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 28, 2012 at 7:40 am

      Stephanie,
      we thought Kay’s murderer would change.

      He said he did.

      HE DID NOT!

      Xxxxx

  • Reply
    Pamela
    May 27, 2012 at 3:50 pm

    18, 19, and 20. Your pain has let you to do great things for other people, with God’s help. You are amazing.
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    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 28, 2012 at 7:40 am

      Pamela,
      Sending you love love love. Xx

  • Reply
    Liz
    May 27, 2012 at 7:07 pm

    Beautiful photo of Kay… I’m so glad you have many angels in your life…what a blessing. xo
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    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 28, 2012 at 7:41 am

      Liz,
      just found that photo of Kay taken right before her MURDER.

      I love her face so much. Xxx

  • Reply
    Dad
    May 27, 2012 at 7:51 pm

    I think most people who abuse others are cowards, and he was one of the worst. To me he never
    existed, he was a nothing. he isn’t worth talking or thinking about.
    Kim, all 21 are good, and i loved the song, but, love you more.
    Daddy

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 28, 2012 at 7:42 am

      Daddy,
      I love you more than 12 tigers lounging by Kisumus’ Lake Victoria.

      Xxxxx Love Love Love. Xxxxxx

  • Reply
    Mamawolfe
    May 27, 2012 at 11:18 pm

    Life just isn’t fair. Beautiful intense emotions sear through. I love number 6
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    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 28, 2012 at 7:43 am

      Mama,
      I am finding that number 6 sometimes gets me up in the morning.

      and also makes me keep on SCREAMING…

      Xxx

  • Reply
    Rosamund
    May 28, 2012 at 12:19 am

    A very fitting post for your sister. I know she is happy to read these words you wrote in her honor.
    Rosamund recently posted..best smokeless cigarettes to stop smokingMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 28, 2012 at 7:44 am

      –Thank You, R.

  • Reply
    Choc Chip Uru
    May 28, 2012 at 3:03 am

    I can imagine how you learnt all these lessons my friend. The strength to pull through and learn is phenomenonal.
    As always I am here for you xx

    Choc Chip Uru
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    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 28, 2012 at 7:45 am

      Dear Choc,
      you are a 30 year old wise woman in a 16 year old body. WOW. Xxxxx

  • Reply
    Blond Duck
    May 28, 2012 at 5:34 am

    A true memorial day.
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    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 28, 2012 at 7:45 am

      Yes, Ducky. Yes. Xx

  • Reply
    anne
    May 28, 2012 at 8:00 am

    <3 <3 <3

  • Reply
    Heal Now and Forever
    May 28, 2012 at 3:24 pm

    I find myself reading 4-6 over and over, loving you an Kay!
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  • Reply
    My Inner Chick
    May 28, 2012 at 4:03 pm

    ~~~Yes, Jodi.
    4 & 6 are quite beautiful, aren’t they?

    Xxxx Kisses.
    My Inner Chick recently posted..21 Things I Learned After Your MurderMy Profile

  • Reply
    Emily
    May 29, 2012 at 3:16 am

    Oh Kim, such hard truths. I’m sending love to you.
    Emily recently posted..Three ThingsMy Profile

  • Reply
    Tere Anne
    May 29, 2012 at 8:17 am

    Kim,
    It seems like forever, yet it seems like just yesterday.
    You are a strong individual and have people around you who care.
    You will never stop learning. You can never changed what happened, but you can learn and grow.
    You will continue to move forward and keep Kay’s memory alive… and continue to tell her story.
    Never let people forget.
    ((hugs))
    Tere
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  • Reply
    Kelly @ Inspired Edibles
    May 29, 2012 at 9:54 am

    I love the angels soaring into your life…

    So many of these resonate with me. Beautiful. Powerful.

    Sending you love and warmth always – xo.
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  • Reply
    Pat
    May 29, 2012 at 10:13 am

    Kim, the love between the two of you was (is) amazing! I’m so, so sorry for your tremendous loss. You sure hit the nail on the head when you said life can change in a moment. Would you like to have lunch sometime soon? I’d love to chat with you again.

  • Reply
    ed pilolla
    May 29, 2012 at 11:14 am

    that darkness exists and god exists, these two side-by-side struck me. the journey you have been/are on is something i don’t want to experience. you have wisdom and vision from where you have traveled through this tragedy. also that one’s weakest moments become the strongest, too. you really do have a lot to offer. love and peace to you and kay.
    ed pilolla recently posted..Working WeekMy Profile

  • Reply
    lisa
    May 29, 2012 at 11:32 am

    So much truth (and pain) in each of these 21 things.
    So eloquently expressed for Kay.
    Sending you hugs dear Kim.

  • Reply
    Sandra
    May 29, 2012 at 11:53 am

    You have a way with words like no other. They haunt, and inspire. Bless you.
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  • Reply
    Blond Duck
    May 29, 2012 at 3:34 pm

    I love you!
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  • Reply
    Liz
    May 29, 2012 at 8:19 pm

    Sending love, as always. Thank you for sharing your soul.
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  • Reply
    Stasha
    May 29, 2012 at 11:12 pm

    Oh Kim. Your 21 things are so painful yet so true. I love how you describe an abuser. Society needs to as well. SO many women could be saved if it did!

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 30, 2012 at 5:43 am

      Stasha,
      I only wish it did not take me that long to figure
      out what a “TRUE” abuser was.

      Xxx

  • Reply
    Noeleen
    May 30, 2012 at 12:28 am

    Oh Inner Chick I SO love your “attitude with a side of BITCH” 🙂 It’s great.

    This was excellent, so excellent. I am deeply sorry this Kay was murdered.

    I loved what you learned – mourning is born but doesn’t die, writing in your own blood saves you.

    All of the learnings you listed were so poignant. Man, this should have been freshly pressed – or maybe it was but I don’t know it : I DO know I never get 90+ comments, so maybe it was, and well deserved too. This is absolutely beautiful AND bolstering.

    Noeleen
    http://www.VodkaWasMyMuse.wordpress.com
    http://www.WordsFallFromMyEyes.wordpress.com

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 30, 2012 at 5:46 am

      ~~~~Noeleen,
      Thank you for reading my mourning.

      I love your blog. If you do not get 90 comments, you should.

      I am going to send people your way…because I LOVE your authentic, kickass voice & they will too.

      xxxx

  • Reply
    Bella
    May 30, 2012 at 9:28 am

    Kim, when tragedy strikes us, we’re left feeling the same way you describe in this post. We question the why, how, when, what, and who. We shake our fist at God and scream, why? We feel completely alone, devastated, like life has stopped having a purpose. We put on red lipstick and smile, if only so people will stop saying what they think we want to hear and lives us the hell alone. The suffering seems to continue non-stop but few people understand the process. The process of realizing that this tragedy has happened and is not just a bad dream.The process of trying to get on with life when we ultimately wish we were dead too. The process of understanind why we were the ones chosen to undergo this life of pain. If we’re lucky, the truth is ultimately revealed to us. We are part of God’s plan. We are one of his instruments; a chosen one. One picked exclusively by Him to spread the word of our pain and in the process save others. Innocent victims who suffer at the hands of their abusers, children left motherless who look to us as role models, elderly parents who cling to us as their surviving child, strange women who derive comfort and courage to leave their abuser and save their lives and that of their children. You, my dear, painful and heart wrenching as it is, are a chosen one. You provide light to so many women who still roam in the darkness looking for a way out of their pain. Your love for your sister and retelling of her story helps others understand the consequences of domestic violence and how we should never be silenced. Your mourning may never cease, but now that you are loved; that your pain is our pain. That we grieve with you and join you in the fight to spread the word that abuse should never be tolerated. You may feel alone, lady, but please know this is not the case. We are here. Never forget that. Much love to you from me and Roxy.

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      May 30, 2012 at 2:00 pm

      ~~~~Dear Bella,
      that may be the most profound, poignant, beautiful comment I’ve EVER recieved.

      Your shimmering words always bring me to tears.

      Love Love love. Forever. Xxxx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..21 Things I Learned After Your MurderMy Profile

  • Reply
    Debbie
    May 30, 2012 at 11:42 am

    Ah, Kim, my heart goes out to you — can you feel my cyber-hug?? Never doubt that you’re doing a great service here. So many have suffered needless tragedies, yet keep their feelings bottled up. You, dear, are putting it all out there, continuing to tell your lovely sister’s story, in hopes of reaching someone who might be in a similar situation and too afraid to make changes. Hang strong, Kim, and know we’re here to support you!
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  • Reply
    Caroline
    May 30, 2012 at 2:03 pm

    Sending lots of love and hugs your way!!!! x
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  • Reply
    Sandy Webb
    May 30, 2012 at 2:05 pm

    Yes Kim….life does go on. As you must. And in many ways you have. The pain never goes away. We just learn to live with it. ((((HUGS))))
    Sandy Webb recently posted..My Past Life Is Slowly Slipping AwayMy Profile

  • Reply
    My Inner Chick
    May 30, 2012 at 2:10 pm

    –Sandy,
    Yes, Life goes on…

    Ahhh, That’s the rub, isn’t it?

    & this is SO TRUE: that one must learn to incorporate the pain somehow into one’s life.

    This is a process that will last forever.

    I know you understand more than most. Xxx Love.

  • Reply
    Elle Sees
    May 30, 2012 at 5:31 pm

    i came here via tina’s blog hop, but i wasn’t prepared for this. i’m so sorry for your loss and your story, kay’s story will forever be a service and a testimony to the dangers. lives will be saved, and kay’s voice will never be silent. thank you for sharing this with the world.
    Elle Sees recently posted..Spring Cleaning: Makeup & Beauty Products (Plus Winners)My Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 30, 2012 at 9:02 pm

      ~~~~Elle,
      thank you for visiting my morning/mourning pages. Love Xx

  • Reply
    Sofie
    May 30, 2012 at 9:30 pm

    Hi KIm, I’m a newbie here, I’ve just heard about your blog from my girlfriend. Such a beautiful article! I think I’m going to be a follower, I’ve lost someone from my family a few weeks ago, and I was told not to think about that, but I really like your style and how you keep the spirit of your sister alive.
    Sofie recently posted..Frisuren für den SommerMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 31, 2012 at 5:44 am

      –Thanks for reading, Sofie.

  • Reply
    Aurora, HSP
    May 31, 2012 at 12:07 am

    Mourning is like love: eternal. Loving you eternally,
    Janice

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 31, 2012 at 5:45 am

      Eternal. Forever Never-Ending, Janice.

      Love love love. Xxxxx

  • Reply
    Danica Martin
    May 31, 2012 at 4:02 am

    At first I thought I was reading fiction, well written, grasping fiction, but it’s true… wow, what a thing to live with, to go through, my condolences. Please keep reaching out to other women, support each other. -Danica Martin http://www.danicabridgesmartin.blogspot.com
    Danica Martin recently posted..Wordless Wednesday #3My Profile

  • Reply
    Missy | The Literal Mom
    May 31, 2012 at 7:42 am

    Wow. #2 is so powerful. And so true from what I’ve been told. I don’t have the experience to know personally, but that’s what friends have said. I am so sorry for your loss.
    Missy | The Literal Mom recently posted..How to Have an Old-Fashioned SummerMy Profile

  • Reply
    Ameena
    May 31, 2012 at 8:11 am

    I usually put my foot in my mouth when I don’t know what to say…so the fact that you wrote #3 means a lot to me. I will never say that again! Because I really don’t know how it feels to lose someone so close. But I know that it probably doesn’t get better or easier for a whole lot of people.

    Great post.
    Ameena recently posted..the orange jacketMy Profile

  • Reply
    Jessica
    May 31, 2012 at 12:46 pm

    There is so much truth in the statement your pain becomes your purpose.

    Hugs to you as you continue on with your purpose in life.
    Jessica recently posted..The Family That Trailer Camps Together…My Profile

  • Reply
    Lady E
    June 1, 2012 at 12:58 am

    Oh Kim, that song, those words… I feel as though I know your pain.
    I shall mourn with you, then I guess.
    xxx
    Lady E recently posted..Suddenly SummerMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      June 1, 2012 at 5:06 am

      Lady E,
      Thank you for reading my mourning pages.

      Yes. That was our favorite song…it was still in her CD player.

      Xx

  • Reply
    Jester Queen
    June 3, 2012 at 8:51 am

    Such a painful memory. I am so glad you can celebrate your sister every day and that her loss, as devastating as it has been, has not destroyed you, has, in fact, spurred you to reach out. I feel sure that if you have not already saved lives simply by speaking out, then it will happen in the future.
    Jester Queen recently posted..Review: Snow White and the HuntsmanMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      June 3, 2012 at 3:04 pm

      Jester Queen,
      I hope so. Oh, I really hope so… Xx

  • Reply
    Tina Barbour
    June 3, 2012 at 6:41 pm

    Powerful writing, powerful lessons. I am never untouched by your writing, Kim. You have found a way to turn your wrenching pain into something powerful to help others. I hope you recognize how you touch all of us.

    #2 especially spoke to me.
    Tina Barbour recently posted..Illuminating Blogger AwardMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      June 3, 2012 at 7:33 pm

      –Thank you for reading my mourning and pain, Tina.

      I shall mourn my dear sister Forever…

      Xxx

  • Reply
    Karen Sosnoski
    June 6, 2012 at 9:44 pm

    I’m glad for you in many ways, that you have a voice, a strong and moving one, that you have so many people who support you, love you–hear you. But you are teaching me to understand what grief feels like. It doesn’t go away does it? Because even though you have people remaining to live for and even know flashes of fun or happiness, each day that passes is ANOTHER day without your sister. I’m starting to see how the pressure to move on must feel insulting and inhumane. Anyway, I love that you never deny your feelings and as I’ve said before am grateful to have met you.

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      June 6, 2012 at 10:13 pm

      ~~~~Dear, Karen,
      And I am grateful to have met you.
      Your support & encouragement is something that I shall never forget.

      Yes….Mourning NEVER ends, but people like you, spur me into the next day.

      Much Love. Xxxxx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..Poetry, Jimmy Choos, & False EyelashesMy Profile

  • Reply
    Yvonne J. Salvatierra
    June 9, 2012 at 10:58 pm

    I’m so very sorry about your sister. I’m so glad I found your blog! My sister is in the midst of divorcing the slime of the earth, husband of hers. He has mentally and physically abused her for over five years. It’s heart-wrenching to watch your sister become a total stranger. I pray and pray and PRAY, that this time, she leaves for good. That this time, she feels strong enough to NEVER, EVER, go back! -Thank you for sharing your story.
    Yvonne J. Salvatierra recently posted..To The Moon!My Profile

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      June 9, 2012 at 11:07 pm

      –For her own sake, I hope she leaves her abuser…before it is too late.

      I haaaaate being on earth without my sister.

      It hurts like fucking hell.

      Thanks for reading, Yvonne. Xx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..Poetry, Jimmy Choos, & False EyelashesMy Profile

  • Reply
    Jack Milgram
    January 10, 2013 at 12:32 am

    I am very very sorry for you and your sister.
    You are doing a very important thing writing this blog – you share your pain with thousands of readers and probably push those who go through the experience of domestic violence to break their silence and stop it until it’s too late.
    Jack Milgram recently posted..Annual Recap and New Year Resolutions for 2013My Profile

  • Reply
    Carolyn
    August 11, 2013 at 5:53 am

    Surreal. Just realized I’ve been exposed to a few out of the 21 items. THANK YOU!!!!!!!! Your sister and you are beautiful. I am awe inspired by your blog and your love for her radiates.

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      August 11, 2013 at 6:56 am

      ~~~Carolyn,
      thank you for reading my mourning/morning pages.

      I’m glad & sad that you can relate.

      LOVE flowing to you. Xxx

  • Reply
    Journeyintopoetry
    September 25, 2013 at 4:09 am

    Hi,

    Peter (countingducks) directed me here to your blog. Im so pleased he did, and I am moved to tears by the posts I have read.

    I will visit again.

    Poetry is new to me but starting to write has saved my sanity since my diagnosis.

    Best wishes
    Christine

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