Kim's Blogs

I Surrender All


~A ministering angel shall my sister be. — William Shakespeare

~I’ve been writing about you for 721 days now.

I can’t seem to stop.

The words keep coming.

They gush from my body like something dark, burning, urgent.

They empty out.

And then they fill back up.

You see,  I have so much to tell you,  so much to say.

For example,  Mike killed you.

I remember I called Janelle and said—  “Mike killed Kay  Mike killed Kay  Mike killed Kay.”

I don’t know anything after that.

Perhaps I fell to my knees.  Perhaps I hung up.  Perhaps I died.

He walked up behind you and shot you three times in the head.

That beautiful healthy head.

The son-of-a-bitch couldn’t even look you strait in the face

because he knew if he did, you’d fight him.  Oh, God, how you’d fight him.

Daddy misses you.

Sometimes I notice the sadness deep within his seventy year old brown eyes.

And  when I do, every organ inside my body screams out in agony.

Mom mourns through baking.

She hasn’t stopped since your murder.  She is continuously measuring, stirring, kneading, and cracking eggs into something sweet and creamy.

She bakes ultimate chocolate chip cookies, buttermilk cakes, pumpkin breads, & raisin bran muffins.

She told me her womb feels incomplete.

She told me there is an empty space where you once were.

Some people have alleged that mourning ends, gets easier, fades with time.

It does not.  It does not. It fucking does not.

It is only born.

It is only born into the world with its rotten fangs and foul breath and a long black cape

flowing behind it like a devil.

But it makes you surrender.

It makes you fall to your knees when you have no place else to go.

It makes you cry out wordless weeping prayers.

It makes you come face to face with your God.

It makes you give Him everything….everything….

Everything  you have left to give.

My sister, Kay, was murdered on May 26, 2010.  I shall scream out her story forever and ever and ever….No love was Greater than ours.
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— Register  or Donate to   The Kay Marie Sisto Memorial Walk
My Prayer today is this song….
pink lips Xxx

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120 Comments

  • Reply
    Lola
    May 9, 2012 at 2:41 pm

    Wow. I felt this one in my core. I’m so sorry my friend. So sorry.
    Lola recently posted..The Theme Song to “Rocky” Can Bite MeMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 11, 2012 at 5:40 am

      -Lola,
      I am sorry, too.

      Xxx

  • Reply
    Jen
    May 9, 2012 at 2:52 pm

    I look at myself in the mirror every day and see pain, I see my surviving kids all the time and I see pain looking back at me.

    My friend I can tell you this with every fiber of my being grief like this never ends because love doesn’t die when your family dies….
    Love you my friend you are such a good and strong person……….my heart feels for you, And your parents just aching, just aching!
    Jen recently posted..it was good for me ~ how was it for you?My Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 11, 2012 at 5:41 am

      Jen,
      I know you understand this kind of pain.
      One learns how to live with it…weave it into their lives somehow.

      Love. Xxx

  • Reply
    nan @ lbddiaries
    May 9, 2012 at 2:54 pm

    Ah, chère, the words are so full of sadness for a life ended too soon. I finally realized after 721 days that saying, “Live your life for her” or “Live so her love isn’t wasted” or “Live to celebrate her” – isn’t realistic and can’t happen. Only Kay could have, should have lived Kay’s life. Kim can only live with a hole in her own life and make the best of it. Maybe you can help others be more aware of domestic abuse but I see – it is a semi-empty thing because she isn’t here.
    nan @ lbddiaries recently posted..From Here to the Moon and BackMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 11, 2012 at 5:43 am

      Nan,
      This blog is to make women more aware of DOMESTIC ABUSE…

      I hope this is what I am doing.

      Love. Xx

  • Reply
    mamawolfe
    May 9, 2012 at 2:57 pm

    The words keep pouring out for a reason. Let them flow.
    mamawolfe recently posted..The Bullies, Bullied and Bystanders: Which One Is Mine?My Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 11, 2012 at 5:43 am

      They will flow forever, Mama. As long as I have breath & a beating heart.

      Love. xxx

  • Reply
    Red Dwyer
    May 9, 2012 at 3:04 pm

    The words come and fill back up because there is someone left to hear them. There is a woman out there who will read and know it could be her next. Someone’s sister will read what you write and drive 250 miles in the middle of the night to seize up a sister, friend, ex and her children and take them to safety.

    You are living your own life to be a beacon to others.

    Just. Keep. Doing. It.

    {HUGZ}
    Red.
    xxx
    Red Dwyer recently posted..Writers Spotlight: J.W. BouchardMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 11, 2012 at 5:44 am

      Red,
      I. Will. Keep. Doing. It.

      Xxx

  • Reply
    Ellen
    May 9, 2012 at 3:11 pm

    Sending out waves of energy hugs. I know they can’t help as well as I know they can’t hurt. What they can do is hold place and space for Kay to be close to your hearts in spirit.

    It’s not the same, of course. How could it be?

    Deep blessings to you and your family, Kim. xoxo
    Ellen recently posted..Oh, How Pinterest-ing 29: ParisMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 11, 2012 at 5:44 am

      –Thanks Ellen.

      One Minute At A time…

      Xxx

  • Reply
    Terri Sonoda
    May 9, 2012 at 3:19 pm

    A lot of us don’t know the pain and suffering you and your family have lived since Kay’s murder. By writing your anquish, you are also helping us understand what one goes through when their heart is stripped out from such horrific crimes on their loved ones. My heart hurts for you, sweet Kim. Keep writing.
    Much love,
    Terri
    Terri Sonoda recently posted..My ABCsMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 11, 2012 at 5:45 am

      Much Love back, Terri,

      Thanks for reading my mourning pages. Xxxx

  • Reply
    Cheryl Lewis
    May 9, 2012 at 3:27 pm

    Just letting you know I’m here, Kim. I’ll always be here. Even when I’m not.

    Had lunch with a friend today. She’s mourning a miscarriage. I shared my own and also my certainty, through to my quick, that the soul who moved on is just as vibrant and purposeful as I am. He or she is living a full life – beside me and yet not. I’ve decided that knowing that will hold me until a reunion I believe will go beyond joy. It will be filled with recognition and gratitude and understanding and knowing.

    I believe the same for you and Kay.

    Much love, love, love,
    Cheryl
    Cheryl Lewis recently posted..Mob ‘Em With HopeMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 11, 2012 at 5:47 am

      Cheryl,
      All of this I know. I believe. I intellectualize.

      …But it’s hard as HELL going thru one’d days without a best friend….

      Love to you, dear. Xxx

  • Reply
    Beverly Diehl
    May 9, 2012 at 3:33 pm

    It is only born into the world with its rotten fangs and foul breath and a long black cape…

    flowing behind it like a devil.

    Beautiful, Kim. All of it, but I especially like those lines.

    Every time I come here, my heart breaks, and I feel both weak in the knees with pain, and aflame with anger. No family should go through this.
    Beverly Diehl recently posted..Better Off Rebekah for Steamy Vampire & Lesbian RomanceMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 11, 2012 at 5:47 am

      NO FAMILY.

      Ever.

      This is the reason for this blog. Xxxx Love.

  • Reply
    Ann
    May 9, 2012 at 3:40 pm

    Such powerful words – hugs to you…..and your parents. You keep writing, girlfriend!
    Ann recently posted..Sometimes you just know…..My Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 11, 2012 at 5:48 am

      Ann,
      Sending you hugs & love. Xx

  • Reply
    ccolumbibueno
    May 9, 2012 at 3:42 pm

    I get so angry every time I think of the bastard. And your pain.
    ccolumbibueno recently posted..Postcards from the nestMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 11, 2012 at 5:48 am

      Dear C.

      Oh, boooooy, I feel the same way <3

  • Reply
    Kathy Radigan
    May 9, 2012 at 3:52 pm

    I read your words infused with so much pain and I just wanted to weep for you and your family. I’m so sorry all of you have to walk through this hell, and am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful sister.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you all.
    Kathy Radigan recently posted..Looking BackMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 11, 2012 at 5:49 am

      Thank You, Kathy.
      I appreciated you reading my mouning. Xx

  • Reply
    Kimberly
    May 9, 2012 at 4:22 pm

    I remember the first post I read of yours…
    It was to Kay.
    I’ll never forget it.
    None of them.
    Your pain is so real Kim. Know that when I read these letters, I’m putting my arms around you each and every time.
    That’s all I can do and to keep tweeting so that no one suffered like Kay did.
    Love you.
    Kimberly recently posted..Beautiful ChangesMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 11, 2012 at 5:49 am

      –love you, too, Kim.

      Thank you for your support and understanding. Xxx

  • Reply
    Emily
    May 9, 2012 at 4:28 pm

    There’s so much intensity here. So much. And there’s a real dichotomy between your images, too — the rotten fangs and foul breath contrasted with your mother’s hands measuring and mourning — that really strikes me. It’s painful to read. A beautifully rendered, critical representation of grief. I just hate that you know it so deeply.
    Emily recently posted..How to Handle MonstersMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 11, 2012 at 5:50 am

      Emily,
      ~~~So many emotions.
      that you describes so beautifully. Xxxx

  • Reply
    Pat Scattergood
    May 9, 2012 at 4:31 pm

    My heart aches for you and for having read this poignant piece.
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    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 11, 2012 at 5:51 am

      Pat,
      Thank you for visiting my mourning & weeping. Xx

  • Reply
    The Bipolar Diva
    May 9, 2012 at 4:43 pm

    ♥ ♥ ♥
    The Bipolar Diva recently posted..I Should Have KnownMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 11, 2012 at 5:51 am

      ♥ ♥ ♥
      Xxx

  • Reply
    Amanda
    May 9, 2012 at 5:18 pm

    I weep and I rejoice when I come here. I wish I could make the core of your story different. Tender hugs.
    Amanda recently posted..Parent-BuiltMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 11, 2012 at 5:52 am

      Amanda,
      I wish I could make th ecore of my story different, too…

      but alas, I awaken to the reality.

      Xxx Thank you for reading.

  • Reply
    Tara
    May 9, 2012 at 5:28 pm

    You’re right…pain doesn’t end with time. It doesn’t heal all wounds. Some wounds are just too deep; they bleed forever. Physical pain is no comparison to what you and your family have suffered. What you’ve suffered is spiritual, and it will stay with you until you draw your last breath.

    Kay hears you, Kim. I know she does. Everything you say and write (and some other things left unsaid), she knows already. That’s just the bond you guys have. And I’m sure if she could say anything, it would be how happy you make her, and how she wants YOU to be happy. I wish I had to magic answer for how to do that, but I don’t.

    Like you said, pain doesn’t end…it’s just born. It’s like your new, ball-and-chain to carry until (finally) you’re relieved of it in the way only God can do. Just hang in there, lady. Miss you and love you.

    Tara
    Tara recently posted..Mother and SonMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 11, 2012 at 5:53 am

      –Tara,
      can you believe I’m still writing the same words, mourning, weeping after 700 days?

      Without the words, I would have curled up and parished.

      Love to you, my dear friend. Xxx

  • Reply
    Michael Ann
    May 9, 2012 at 6:19 pm

    Your pain magnifies my own. When I feel sad (like today) and I read your words, I feel them so deeply. I feel universal pain for everyone who is suffering. Suffering loss especially. The human condition is so hard. There is joy in the world but there is so much pain in between. It isn’t right. It just isn’t right.

    I am sorry for you and for all feeling such anguish.
    XO
    Michael Ann
    Michael Ann recently posted..Coconut BiscottiMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 11, 2012 at 5:54 am

      Michael Ann,
      Beautifully expressed.

      Universal. This is why people understand.

      Xxx

  • Reply
    Vidya Sury
    May 9, 2012 at 8:14 pm

    It never ends, Kim. I have to confess that I am okay with the mourning. I know how you feel. Each time I think about it, it is like a fresh onslaught of pain. Each time you write about Kay I can’t help the tears – for your loss, mingled with my loss. I have lost many loved ones. People claim we become stronger – I don’t know about that. Because memories result in just vulnerability when you’ve been so close. My heart goes out to your family – to your Mom and Dad who are trying so hard to cope. To you, who feels incomplete without Kay just the way I feel incomplete about my Mom – the space never to be filled by any one else.
    I wake up happy the days I have vivid dreams about my Mom, you know. Then I feel sad and want to sob because I can never touch her again. Sigh. Yet we have to carry on with life.

    Hugs and love to you. I admire you for sharing your feelings. I feel the pain with you.
    Vidya Sury recently posted..Of Juice And GratitudeMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 11, 2012 at 5:56 am

      **I wake up happy the days I have vivid dreams about my Mom, you know. Then I feel sad and want to sob because I can never touch her again**

      I do this, as well, Vidya.

      But you are right, We must go forward…

      ahhhh, that is the rub. Xx

  • Reply
    Dienna
    May 9, 2012 at 8:56 pm

    I know it must hurt to lose your sister in such a disgusting and depraved way. As long as you keep letting your feelings out and posting about her, her memory will never be lost.

    What a powerful poem. I felt your emotions pouring through in it.

  • Reply
    Monica
    May 9, 2012 at 11:22 pm

    Kim, my heart goes out to you, though I know there are no words I can say to lessen your sorrow. I find it fascinating that, just within your family, each of you mourns Kay in a different way. She was taken from you in such a shocking, horrific way, I can see why it feels like the pain will never be eased. I think about it and want to scream. Nothing fair about it. I’m so sorry, Kim.
    Monica recently posted..Mrs. Kennedy and Mr. HillMy Profile

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      May 11, 2012 at 6:03 am

      Monica,
      Life is not fair…

      I guess we need to learn from it….As I said above, One learns to surrender & let go….

      Love Xxx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..I Surrender AllMy Profile

  • Reply
    Lorraine @ Not Quite Nigella
    May 9, 2012 at 11:25 pm

    Kim, you write like you feel and that is why we love you and your blog xxx
    Lorraine @ Not Quite Nigella recently posted..Hello Hong Kong!My Profile

  • Reply
    Astrid Sanschagrin
    May 10, 2012 at 3:18 am

    Tears rolled down my eyes as I went through your blog post. I pray that Kay’s soul should rest in peace. The poetry written here depicts intense feelings. It shook my soul and I was touched. Please keep sharing.
    Astrid Sanschagrin recently posted..Prix pas chers pour bancs de musculationMy Profile

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      May 11, 2012 at 6:05 am

      Astrid,
      Kay is at COMPLETE peace…

      but I am not.

      It is living that is hard…Not death.

      Xxx Thanks for reading.
      My Inner Chick recently posted..I Surrender AllMy Profile

  • Reply
    Mandy - The Complete Cook Book
    May 10, 2012 at 4:10 am

    All I can give you darling Kim is Love, Love, Love.
    🙂 Mandy xo
    Mandy – The Complete Cook Book recently posted..Birthday CupcakesMy Profile

  • Reply
    Dad
    May 10, 2012 at 4:57 am

    We will always mourn for Kay, we loved her so much. You Kim, will always keep her alive in our
    hearts. we will see her again, and she will tell us how she enjoyed reading your blogs.
    Love You So Much
    Daddy

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      May 11, 2012 at 6:06 am

      –Daddy,
      I love you more than 10 shimmering panthers sleeping in the saphire moonlight of Kenya.

      XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
      My Inner Chick recently posted..I Surrender AllMy Profile

  • Reply
    Jann Huizenga
    May 10, 2012 at 6:05 am

    KIm, your words tear me apart. I love what your father wrote above about Kay enjoyed your blog. I’m sure she does!!!!
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  • Reply
    Debbie
    May 10, 2012 at 7:00 am

    What a beautiful, heart-felt tribute to your lovely sister, Kim! My heart goes out to you. I only have one sister and, though we at times have fought like cats and dogs, I don’t know how I’d go on without her! You’ve perfectly described how your family is coping with this loss — your father’s inner grief, your mother’s baking, your own poems and writing. Everybody doing what he/she can to deaden the pain that won’t go away. Hugs from afar, Kim!
    Debbie recently posted..Here Today, Gone TomorrowMy Profile

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      May 11, 2012 at 6:09 am

      —Kay and I fought LOTS…And we LOVED MORE.

      Xxx Love.

  • Reply
    Kim @The G is Silent
    May 10, 2012 at 7:10 am

    This may be my favorite yet. It’s said that losing a child is the worst thing that can happen to a person. I don’t know, I haven’t lost one. I also haven’t lost a sister. I can’t think which would be worst. She’s my SISTER. She’s a part of me like nobody in the world. She’s my rock. She’s a bitch. She loves my son like I love my son. She knows when I’m manic or falling. She gives good advice and takes it as well. If I lost her my life would end. How do you do it Kim? I’m so sorry. I imagine every day your heart hurts. Mine hurts for you.

    xxoo
    Kim @The G is Silent recently posted..Comment on For Mom by MeganMy Profile

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      May 11, 2012 at 6:33 am

      Omg,
      Kim, it sounds as if you are describing Kay…

      I love that you and your sister are close like that.

      God God God. I miss that relationship.

      Yes, everyday my heart hurts.
      every single day.

      Xx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..I Surrender AllMy Profile

  • Reply
    KrAzY KeLlY
    May 10, 2012 at 7:28 am

    I love you…….

  • Reply
    Lady Fi
    May 10, 2012 at 7:32 am

    So deeply moving, my friend. There is nothing I can say to make it better.
    Lady Fi recently posted..Making time for aweMy Profile

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      May 11, 2012 at 6:35 am

      Lady E,
      Nothing one can say….

      one just needs to walk thru it or drown inside of it.

      …. that’s about it.

      Xx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..I Surrender AllMy Profile

  • Reply
    Ameena
    May 10, 2012 at 7:32 am

    721 days…and why should you stop? You shouldn’t.

    Beautiful post my friend. And my thoughts are with you and your family.
    Ameena recently posted..an ounce, a grain, and a dashMy Profile

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      May 11, 2012 at 6:35 am

      Ameena,
      No. I shall NEVER stop.

      not as long as my heart is still pumping… Xx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..I Surrender AllMy Profile

  • Reply
    Adriana
    May 10, 2012 at 7:52 am

    I found this so very hard to read this morning. which only means you have done your job. all my love.
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    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      May 11, 2012 at 6:36 am

      Adriana,
      It is strange, but when I write the words, I feel less pain….and when I read them back, I feel it
      all. over. again.

      Xxxx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..I Surrender AllMy Profile

  • Reply
    Sandy Webb
    May 10, 2012 at 9:01 am

    Oh sweet Kim….my heart aches for you and your entire family. I believe the pain never goes away but with time it ceases to be so intense and stabbing. With time one learns to accept it as part of their life. **HUGS**
    Sandy Webb recently posted..Baggage Full of FearsMy Profile

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      May 11, 2012 at 6:37 am

      Sandy,
      I accept it. I must.

      But I fucking HATE that it’s my (our) new reality.

      Xxxx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..I Surrender AllMy Profile

  • Reply
    Patricia
    May 10, 2012 at 9:38 am

    What a powerful post. Your sister is watching over you. XO

  • Reply
    marie
    May 10, 2012 at 9:45 am

    I think this is the most beautiful poem I read from you Kim, your love shines through your pain. Kay lives in your heart forever and if some say grief has an end you and me know it’s not true.
    MUCH LOVE.xx

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      May 11, 2012 at 6:38 am

      –Marie,
      people utter what they do not know…

      they are uncomfortable with my pain, so they try to lessen it.

      Xxx Kisses.

  • Reply
    Kimmy
    May 10, 2012 at 11:39 am

    Love and miss you every day! How’s Allan holding up? My mom, Nancy and Shawne will see all of you on the Walk for Kay. Keep writing your feelings every day !!!!

  • Reply
    Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell
    May 10, 2012 at 1:49 pm

    Keep speaking it for as long as you need to speak it. Your pain is so sharp that to hold it inside would be horrendous.
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  • Reply
    Kelly @ Inspired Edibles
    May 10, 2012 at 3:16 pm

    Keep those amazing words coming Kim. We are here to witness.

    xo
    Kelly @ Inspired Edibles recently posted..Lemony Kale Bites with Ricotta and AlmondMy Profile

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      May 11, 2012 at 9:11 am

      –Kelly,
      in my last breath, I shall be telling Kay’s story.

      Love Love Love. xxx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..I Surrender AllMy Profile

  • Reply
    Lady E
    May 11, 2012 at 12:22 am

    Dear Kim,
    My heart goes out to you, on this lovely, sunny morning, I understand the times when even beauty just no longer makes sense.
    Big hugs from far away,
    xoxoxo
    Lady E recently posted..Bad muvvasMy Profile

  • Reply
    Choc Chip Uru
    May 11, 2012 at 1:43 am

    Your pain is unimagineable my friend. I can only tell you all of us offer all of our support from around the world. Keep writing, scream and dream for a better world my friend. We are here to do this with you!

    Love and Hugs
    Choc Chip Uru
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  • Reply
    jennifer
    May 11, 2012 at 4:06 am

    I am very impress with the fighting spirit with the words it takes, hope you can share some more with us… Two thumbs up…
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  • Reply
    Alison@Mama Wants This
    May 11, 2012 at 7:39 am

    Write. Keep writing. Your love shines through the darkness of grief. And we love you. xo
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  • Reply
    Sigrid
    May 11, 2012 at 8:29 am

    I won’t think you should stop with writing about your sister. I think it’s so beautiful that you keep her spirit alive! No one can force you to surrender remembering your sister!
    Sigrid recently posted..Tolle Speisen, gesundes LebenMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 11, 2012 at 3:44 pm

      Thanks for reading, Sigrid. X

  • Reply
    Kelley
    May 11, 2012 at 10:31 am

    Tears, tears, tears. I have never heard you talk about your mom and dad before. How they felt. How they’re doing now. How they’re coping. This was so touching. This sentence, “She told me her womb feels incomplete”, took my breath away. “Her beautiful healthy head” took my breath away. I stared at the words. I absorbed them. I am crying for you all.
    Kelley recently posted..Come celebrate with the Kelley’s Break Room choir!My Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 11, 2012 at 3:45 pm

      Kelley,
      Thank you for reading my mourning, weeping, pain…

      thank you. Xx

  • Reply
    lisa
    May 11, 2012 at 1:57 pm

    My heart breaks for you Kim.
    Kay lives on through you.
    xo.

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 11, 2012 at 3:46 pm

      She will ALWAYS live
      …. as long as the other Half of my heart beats….

      xxx

  • Reply
    Elephant's Child
    May 11, 2012 at 3:25 pm

    Oh Kim. I was sure I had left you a loving comment but it has disappeared into the blogosphere.

    Hearing your pain, feeling your pain. The memorial you have built for Kay using your grief and tears is an incredible thing, but I so wish that you, and no-one else didn’t have to hurt like this. You are helping other families and you know that you are, but that doesn’t, cannot ease your hurt.

    Hurting for you, hurting with you.

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 11, 2012 at 3:48 pm

      Dear, E.

      My purpose is telling others “They do not need to go thru what we are…..’

      I wish I knew then…What I know now.

      I wish I wish I wish I wish.

      Love flowing directy to YOU. X

  • Reply
    elizabeth
    May 11, 2012 at 3:58 pm

    I can’t believe it is almost 2 years. I remember that day so well. such darkness fell over the earth. You lost your Kay and we never got to know her. Love you, my dear friend. xxx

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      May 11, 2012 at 4:08 pm

      –Dear E,
      thank you for NEVER forgetting me or Kay.

      Love love love love. Xxxx

  • Reply
    Liz
    May 11, 2012 at 4:51 pm

    Keep writing, keep mourning, keep loving. You are helping so many others with your message.
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  • Reply
    aurora
    May 11, 2012 at 6:10 pm

    Big hugs of love and kindness going your way. I know it won’t change much but I think of you often and send you much love.

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 11, 2012 at 8:15 pm

      I appreciate your support, Janice. <3 x

  • Reply
    Tia
    May 11, 2012 at 7:46 pm

    I Love You!

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 11, 2012 at 8:16 pm

      –Me, too. Xxxxx

  • Reply
    Carrie
    May 11, 2012 at 8:02 pm

    Powerful piece. I am so sorry for your loss
    Carrie recently posted..Red Writing Hood: PureMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 11, 2012 at 8:16 pm

      Thank You, Carrie. xx

  • Reply
    Cathy
    May 11, 2012 at 11:28 pm

    Oh, wow.

    Wow, wow, wow.

    I am SO sorry for your loss and your hurt and your grief and your suffering. Thank you for your writing and your sharing. I know that nothing can even come close to making up for your loss, but I hope it is some very, very small comfort that you are undoubtedly impacting this world for the better through your work here.
    Cathy recently posted..From the Archives… Faith Alive, NigeriaMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 12, 2012 at 7:04 am

      Cathy,
      When one goes thru such deep deep deep pain…

      I believe the pain must be used to make the world better..

      I do not know any other reason one should suffer.

      I hope that’s what I’m doing in the world.

      Thank you for reading. Xx

  • Reply
    A Daft Scots Lass
    May 12, 2012 at 10:01 am

    A sister’s bond is an incredibly strong one.

    As long as you have words to share, I will listen.

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 12, 2012 at 5:32 pm

      –Thank You, Daft.

      I appreciate you reading my mourning pages. Xxx

  • Reply
    Nikky44
    May 12, 2012 at 1:06 pm

    I wasn’t able to write Kim or say anything. I was reading, understanding, feeling, crying, and sending you hugs. Nothing I can say will help, but just know that i’m thinking of you. Love you <3
    Nikky44 recently posted..Nominated again, Thank you 🙂My Profile

  • Reply
    countingducks
    May 13, 2012 at 9:41 am

    You write and think about her so eloquently. I love that about you
    countingducks recently posted..Egg On My FaceMy Profile

  • Reply
    Joan
    May 13, 2012 at 7:34 pm

    Kim,

    I’m thinking of you and your family on this day to celebrate mothers. We miss those wonderful sisters on days like this when we realize that they can’t be here with us to get their flowers and cards and/or give their flowers and cars to their mothers. I wrote my blog today about women who mourn the loss of their children who have been shot. That would be “Saint Shirley”. She is such a dear woman. The fact that she is baking and cooking to mourn the loss of her daughter is poignant. We all mourn in our own way. Your writing is a beautiful vehicle for you. Thank you for what you write and for your love of Kay. I know how much you miss her. I look forward to the walk next Sunday in her memory.
    Joan recently posted..Mothers rememberMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 13, 2012 at 7:55 pm

      –Sweet Joan,
      You inspire me with your pro-active, spunky, passionate blog & personality!

      Yes, today is hard for you and I…..

      It shall always be hard…Always. Always.

      But…We must spread the word. Right?

      We must scream and yell and tell everybody who will listen…

      so what happend to us will not happen to them!

      See you on Sunday for a big HUG. Xxx

  • Reply
    Jhenny
    May 14, 2012 at 12:17 am

    I am so sorry to hear about this and actually, I felt really emotional as I read this one.. I hope everything will be fine..
    Jhenny recently posted..Sharepoint HostingMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      May 14, 2012 at 5:34 am

      –Thank You for reading, Jhenny. X

  • Reply
    (FL) Girl with a New Life
    May 14, 2012 at 8:55 am

    I hope you write your book. You need a place for all of these heartfelt words.
    (FL) Girl with a New Life recently posted..50 Shades of Grey. A Live Reading.My Profile

  • Reply
    Jessica
    May 14, 2012 at 9:10 am

    Hugs to you always and forever.
    Jessica recently posted..Mother’s Day and a FairyMy Profile

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