—It’s been 699 days since he murdered you.
I believe I shall always count the moments you’re not with
me. Always remember your voice. Always love you the most.
I’ve been thinking about the oddest things lately.
For example, when
you’d unexpectedly stop in the center of the Waterfront Trail, look up into an
old birch tree and call out, “Who’s
that? Hi, baaaaby. I heeeear you. I seeeee you.”
When I looked up, I’d see a bird. Just a plain old bird. A nameless bird. Nothing
magnificent like a Mockingbird or
Cardinal or Blue jay…
….but you thought it
was the most beautiful creature in the
world.
A simple bird.
Colorless.
But you observed the
beauty in everything.
Even the murderer.
Didn’t you?
Isn’t that the reason you stayed?
Isn’t that the reason you allowed him to make you small,
stupid, insignificant?
You. Were. Everything.
He. Was. Nothing.
Anyways—
I still awaken thinking of you. You’re
the first reflection in my head.
Your hair blowing in wind, your eyes closed evenly,
peacefully.
The sun shining upon your face.
Sometimes I find
myself waiting for the phone to ring at a ridiculously, outrageously early
hour…
…with you on the other end purring, “Kimmy, are you up yet? Just called to say I love youuuu.”
Oh God Oh God Oh God
Oh God
When I get like that, when I memorize like that—
my heart hurts. It
hurts so fucking badly.
It hurts like loneliness and death and darkness and breathlessness
and anger & aching all mixed into
one.
And I wonder, I wonder….. how the hell I’m standing?
But I am. I am.
People have told me to
“Let Go.”
N E V E R
People have said,
“You need to release her.”
N E V E R
Not as long as I have breath inside my body.
Not as long as I have a pulse.
It’s strange, but all the same feelings that hurt me deeply—
Are the same feelings that move me forward to get out of bed
in the morning, brush my teeth, make
coffee, and apply my lipstick.
I mean, my heart is still beating.
So that must mean something.
But I still can’t believe it’s beating when you’re not here,
my Dear Sister.
Xxx
Get Help NOW for Domestic & Verbal Abuse. Don’t wait ONE MORE DAY….…..800-799-SAFE (7233) or at TTY 1-800-787-3224.
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145 Comments
Alison@Mama Wants This
April 29, 2012 at 8:13 amBeautiful Kay. So beautiful.
No, never let her go. She’s always in you. Let that be your strength.
Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..This Is About Blogging . . . Sort Of
My Inner Chick
April 30, 2012 at 8:51 am—-Never. Never. I shall Never let go…
or i’d be gone, too. <3 Kiss
My Inner Chick recently posted..Moving Forward Using All My Breath
nan @ lbddiaries
April 29, 2012 at 8:25 amAs always, your words are full of beautiful pictures of Kay. And full of pictures of horror and grief of Kim. Your words are powerful.
nan @ lbddiaries recently posted..Gee Baby, Ain’t I Good To You
My Inner Chick
April 30, 2012 at 8:52 amNan,
I appreciate you reading my mourning, dear. You are superb. Xx
My Inner Chick recently posted..Moving Forward Using All My Breath
mamawolfe
April 29, 2012 at 8:27 amKim, you are standing because she is not….but you hold her upright everyday with your words, your thoughts, your love, and your sharing her memory with all of us. That is all very, very good. And we all hold you up with the same.
mamawolfe recently posted..Friday Photo: Learning Through Community Service
My Inner Chick
April 30, 2012 at 8:52 amMamawolfe,
oooooh, thank you for holding me up. thank you. Xx
My Inner Chick recently posted..Moving Forward Using All My Breath
Ellen
April 29, 2012 at 8:31 amKim, I feel as though I know Kay, to a degree, through your heartfelt words. What a gentle, loving soul you depict.
To “release her,” it seems to me, would be to release a portion of your very essence. Who would do that?
Sending a warm hug.
xoxo
My Inner Chick
April 30, 2012 at 8:53 am**To “release her,” it seems to me, would be to release a portion of your very essence**
Ellen, I Soooo Love that. I love it.. Kisses for you. Xxx
My Inner Chick recently posted..Moving Forward Using All My Breath
Ameena
April 29, 2012 at 8:37 am699 days…and I’m sure it never gets any easier. Your sister was beautiful!
I’m so sorry my friend…thinking of you.
Ameena recently posted..the lemon law
My Inner Chick
April 30, 2012 at 8:54 amNever Easier, dear….
just different. Xxx
My Inner Chick recently posted..Moving Forward Using All My Breath
Linda Medrano
April 29, 2012 at 8:42 amKim, your pain is so breathtakingly described. Your darling sister will live forever in your heart and in the hearts of those she touched. I hope the happy memories remain too.
Linda Medrano recently posted..Torn Asunder
My Inner Chick
April 30, 2012 at 8:54 amForever. Always. As long as my heart beats.
Kisses flowing to you, sweet Linda. Xxx
My Inner Chick recently posted..Moving Forward Using All My Breath
Vidya Sury
April 29, 2012 at 8:49 amI know how you feel, Kim. You don’t have to release her. You are a strong person and lucky to have Kay as your sister. Those memories are precious. Treasure them. Relish them. Soften the sadness. I am sorry we cannot turn the clock back on our deepest sorrows. Yet we have to live, as long as we are alive. Losses like this can never be “okay”. Because they’re not. I know that Kay is smiling at you, admiring you for the strong voice you are.
I will be there in spirit for Kay’s Walk. Let me know what I can do to help.
I love you. Very much. Hugs and kisses,
Vidya
Vidya Sury recently posted..Collecting Smiles
My Inner Chick
April 30, 2012 at 8:56 amVidya,
your love and support and passion and empathy move me.
Love you. love your BIG HEART. Love you spirit.
I hear you heart beating in Minnesota ….
all the way from India….
Many KISSESSSss
My Inner Chick recently posted..Moving Forward Using All My Breath
Ronda
April 29, 2012 at 8:54 amKim you are here because WE need you! You have a purpose…. to be Kay’s voice and you are helping so many women in the process! I can only imagine how hard it is for you my dear, but just know I am so glad that you get up every morning because you fill my days with laughter and a friendship that I treasure! I love you, and Kay is so lucky to have you keeping her memory alive! Don’t ever let her go, keep telling all of us how wonderful she was, I love hearing about Kay.
My Inner Chick
April 30, 2012 at 8:57 amRonda,
You. Are. Amazing.
—-you have made this year bearable with your smiles, passion, and great understanding….
Love Love Love. So much Love. Xxxx
My Inner Chick recently posted..Moving Forward Using All My Breath
Jen
April 29, 2012 at 9:15 amKIm,
Kay is a beautiful person,with a beautiful spirit how could she not be imprinted in your heart?
This is what I think….I think you have to do what feels right for you, don’t let people tell you what to do my friend, nobody can do that. {I’m talking about people saying you need to release her }
I don’t think we ever really move on {we never ever forget} after such a life changing tragedy {my opinion}. But we can live on in our own time; and each of us had a different clock!
Jen recently posted..no worries
My Inner Chick
April 30, 2012 at 8:58 amI say a big “AMEN’ to that.
Thank you for understanding, Jen. Xx
My Inner Chick recently posted..Moving Forward Using All My Breath
columbibueno
April 29, 2012 at 9:18 am699 days are a very long agony.
I don’t care what they say. This is a sick planet where abuse and murder are rewarded.
Well, enough for now. I wish you peace.
columbibueno recently posted..Midnight Peach
My Inner Chick
April 30, 2012 at 8:58 amThank you, Columbibueno <3
My Inner Chick recently posted..Moving Forward Using All My Breath
Jann Huizenga
April 29, 2012 at 9:44 amI love the story about Kay and the bird in the old birch tree! How beautiful that she so intensely observed and loved the world around her, including her amazing sister. (Stunning bracelet!!)
Jann Huizenga recently posted..Ancient, Abandoned & Alone
My Inner Chick
April 30, 2012 at 9:00 am–I shall never know anybody like my dear Kay again on this Earth….
Jann, don’t you just LOVE that bracelet?!! xxxXX
My Inner Chick recently posted..Moving Forward Using All My Breath
Ann
April 29, 2012 at 9:49 amAs always, I wish you peace. I’m sorry that you’ve had 699 days without her…..but I’m glad you have such beautiful memories. Hugs and love to you always, my friend.
Ann recently posted..One Year Ago…. and a Giveaway!
My Inner Chick
April 30, 2012 at 9:00 am–Beeeeeeeautiful Memories.
—-And an abundant amount of them Xxx Love to you, Dear Ann.
My Inner Chick recently posted..Moving Forward Using All My Breath
lisa
April 29, 2012 at 10:13 amYou have such wonderful memories of Kay, Kim.
You just hold onto those, for it is those that get you through the tough times.
There is most definitely a reason that she left you such wonderful memories.
Sending you hugs dear Friend.
xo.
My Inner Chick
April 30, 2012 at 9:01 amLisa,
I feel your hug. OOOxxx
My Inner Chick recently posted..Moving Forward Using All My Breath
Mandy - The Complete Cook Book
April 29, 2012 at 10:48 amJust too beautiful for words my darling Kim.
Big hugs and lots of love to you my friend from a beautiful sunny South Africa.
🙂 Mandy xo
Mandy – The Complete Cook Book recently posted..Another short interval
My Inner Chick
April 30, 2012 at 9:02 amMandy,
I feel your hug all the way from South Africa…
And i love it. <3 xx
My Inner Chick recently posted..Moving Forward Using All My Breath
Samar Saleh
April 29, 2012 at 11:15 amyou say it so beautifully, love it 🙂
Samar Saleh recently posted..Till Shines The Day
My Inner Chick
April 30, 2012 at 9:02 am–Thank You for visiting, Samar. Xx
My Inner Chick recently posted..Moving Forward Using All My Breath
Nikky44
April 29, 2012 at 11:21 amIsn’t that the reason you stayed?
This might not be the only reason, but it surely was an important one. She wasn’t able to see the bad in him or in anything or anyone. Some people are like that, they prefer to see the bad in themselves rather than accept others are bad. She stayed because she hoped her love could save him, and make him change. She stayed because she knows she has a big heart and can put up with him whereas someone else wouldn’t be able to do that. She also stayed because she wants her children to have a dad. She wanted to stay and she stayed till the end.
Love you Kim.
Nikky44 recently posted..I even have to welcome his ladyfriend
My Inner Chick
April 30, 2012 at 9:03 am–Till the End.
I’m so damn sad about that, Nikki.
Love you, 2. Xx
My Inner Chick recently posted..Moving Forward Using All My Breath
Kelly @ Inspired Edibles
April 29, 2012 at 11:59 amWhat a beautiful piece Kim… and I love how you appreciate and celebrate all that was Kay…even her adoration of the nameless bird.
Hugs, warmth and loving energy to you ~
xox.
Kelly @ Inspired Edibles recently posted..Spicy Black Bean Mexican Casserole
My Inner Chick
April 30, 2012 at 9:03 amKelly,
she loved all of the “Nameless Birds.”
Hugs back to you in Canada. Xxx
My Inner Chick recently posted..Moving Forward Using All My Breath
lafemmeroar
April 29, 2012 at 12:08 pmAnother powerful and touching poem! Thank you for sharing.
lafemmeroar recently posted..Lies, lies, lies …
My Inner Chick
April 30, 2012 at 9:04 am–thanks for reading, dear lafemmeroar. <3 Xxx
My Inner Chick recently posted..Moving Forward Using All My Breath
Dangerous Linda
April 29, 2012 at 1:26 pmDear Kim,
I would never dream of telling you how you ‘should’ handle your pain! Everybody gets to choose for themselves. Just like Kay chose…
One thing I notice is that the very traits you value so much in your sister may be calling to you, too.
“You. Were. Everything.
He. Was. Nothing.”
What would Kay think about this?
I was deeply moved by a video I watched about a woman who found healing by forgiving her son’s murderer. I wanted to share it with you, not because I think you should do anything differently than you already are, but because I would do anything to help you find some peace. Maybe this will help. Maybe not. I will keep praying that somehow, something will bring you some comfort from your unfathomable pain. http://www.dangerouslinda.com/?page_id=153
love, XOXOXXO
Dangerous Linda recently posted..picture window
My Inner Chick
April 30, 2012 at 9:05 am–Dangerous Linda,
I knew him ( the monster ) for 29 years…
He was nothing to me….
He is still nothing to me…
Kay was EVERYTHING.
—–But even so, I forgive him.
Xxx Kissss
My Inner Chick recently posted..Moving Forward Using All My Breath
Dad
April 29, 2012 at 2:16 pmKay and I were walking the trail and we saw a big fat sewer rat, it was so fat it couldn’t run
very fast. And of course Kay said ‘come here baby,’ but it slowly walked down to the water.
She even saw beauty in that rat. She loved pretty much everything.
Love You More Than All The animals In Kenya
Daddy
My Inner Chick
April 30, 2012 at 9:06 am–Daddy,
so many stories like that. Sooooo many. My brain is overflowing…
I love you more than all the tigers, lions, & panthers of Kisumu <3 Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
My Inner Chick recently posted..Moving Forward Using All My Breath
Heal Now and Forever
April 29, 2012 at 2:27 pmI guess it is like we need to see the beauty in death. I’m not quite sure how, but I’m thinking grief is really love, isn’t it. You’re expressin grief and is readers read the love. Keep expressing!
Love,
Jodi
Heal Now and Forever recently posted..Shiny Happy Bloggers Holding Hands
My Inner Chick
April 30, 2012 at 9:09 am–Jodi,
yes.
grief is love.
the more we love,
……. the more we mourn.
Sooo VERY True. Xxx
My Inner Chick recently posted..Moving Forward Using All My Breath
ed pilolla
April 29, 2012 at 2:59 pmwish i could do the walk and snag a goodie bag:) sounds like a wonderful event to honor kay. you know your path. you live it out loud and beautifully.
ed pilolla recently posted..Rides At Sunset
My Inner Chick
April 30, 2012 at 9:10 amed,
give me your address….and i shall send you a brochure. (did i spell that right?)
My Inner Chick recently posted..Moving Forward Using All My Breath
Sandy Webb
April 29, 2012 at 4:18 pmKim –
Moving forward and letting go is all about how you look at it. I had a widower (a guy! imagine that! LOL) give me some excellent advice on that. I posted it on my blog about a year ago, you can read it here http://flyingwg.blogspot.com/2011/05/moving-forward-or-letting-go.html
Giant Hugs to you my dear. xoxo
Sandy Webb recently posted..Flowers for Leontien
My Inner Chick
April 30, 2012 at 9:11 amSandy,
I shall read that…I probably already did! But I shall comment again.
Love to you, sweetssss. xx
My Inner Chick recently posted..Moving Forward Using All My Breath
Joan
April 29, 2012 at 4:49 pmWhat I love, love, love about your blog, Kim, is your open expressions of love and pain. It’s obvious that your family had and have huge hearts and are not afraid to say “I love you.” It’s a great Italian family and so different from my Scandinavian upbringing. That is one reason your blog is so attractive to so many people- your open expression of love, hate, grief, despair, hopelessness, hopefulness, and all of those other emotions. Don’t ever change that. And I love that Kay loved nature so much. She had a huge heart as well. And she tried her best but it wasn’t enough. She tried to get away but it’s so hard for women to get out of a relationship. It’s so hard to make that decision to leave. It’s dangerous as well. It takes, on average, 8 times for women to actually leave an abusive relationship.
I will look for those birds in the birch trees when I walk on May 20th but I will avoid, at all costs, the fat rat.
Joan recently posted..Guns in the produce section
My Inner Chick
April 30, 2012 at 9:12 amJoan,
I. Love. Your.
((((((((P A S S I O N!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Xxxx See You Soon, Dearest.
My Inner Chick recently posted..Moving Forward Using All My Breath
Katy Clark
April 29, 2012 at 5:21 pmA person who is truly beautiful inside finds beauty all around her – even in those who will crush her. I love your devotion to her.
That is a beautiful bracelet – I hope the walk is successful.
Katy Clark recently posted..These Things Do Not Actually Constitute Foreplay
My Inner Chick
April 30, 2012 at 9:12 amKaty,
Kay made me a better human being.
Yes, don’t you LOVE that bracelet?! xxx
My Inner Chick recently posted..Moving Forward Using All My Breath
Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell
April 29, 2012 at 6:02 pmI am absolutely devastated for you. I can’t even begin to imagine the pain you must feel each and every day. My heart aches for you and for the life your sister never had the chance to finish. (((hugs)))
Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell recently posted..I Can’t Take A Compliment
My Inner Chick
April 30, 2012 at 9:13 amLiz,
One learns, somehow, to live with the pain.
Hugs Back to you. Xx
My Inner Chick recently posted..Moving Forward Using All My Breath
Bella
April 29, 2012 at 6:37 pmKim, those who tell you to release and let go don’t know what they’re talking about. After all, how can you release a part of your heart and still keep living? Not possible. Not possible at all. For those we love, even when they’re long gone, are still a part of us; are still a big chunk of our beating hearts. Our love keeps their spirit alive. I think of how much time has passed since Kay’s been gone and think, how does Kim do it? But then she’s not really gone is she? She lives through your memories; your thoughts of hers; the lovely visuals that pop into your head like the one of the bird. Keep loving your sister, sweet lady. Keep her in your heart and your soul. And never let go.
My Inner Chick
April 30, 2012 at 9:14 am–Sweet. Bella,
she will always be a huge part of who I am…
I shall hold on FOREVER.
Xx Kissss for you.
My Inner Chick recently posted..Moving Forward Using All My Breath
sue williamson
April 29, 2012 at 9:07 pmKim,
Today on my way into work I stopped at a Caribou coffee as I do every morning on my way to work and to my suprise on my way out, I looked at the bullitin board, as I always do an there it was…
Kay Marie Sisto Memorial Walk
A huge poster in Minneapolis of beautiful Kay.
Your voice is being heard Kim. I didn’t put the poster there. I hadn’t even seen one yet. I don’t know who did put it there but I will find out and thank them.
I know there are good days for you and I know there are bad days – and the pain never ever really goes away.
But know and understand that the work you are doing on behalf of Kay and the thousands of women and their loved ones who have suffered the effects of domestic violence are being helped by your tireless efforts.
Love you lots & I’ll see you at the walk.
Sue
My Inner Chick
April 30, 2012 at 9:27 am~~~Sue,
I love that you saw that poster <3
I am pretty sure Kay's son's fiance is putting those out. She is VERY pro-active.
last year she won first prize for getting the most money!
Looking forward to seeing you, Sweet Sue. Xxxx
My Inner Chick recently posted..Moving Forward Using All My Breath
Psycho
April 29, 2012 at 10:07 pmI hear you Kim and I feel you.
People say :”let go..” … so easy to say.
But when every loved one has become a part of you, you never really let go. They may no longer be around physically, but they will always stay, as a part of a whole.
Take care and stay sweet!
Psycho recently posted..Irreverence and Me
My Inner Chick
April 30, 2012 at 9:27 am~~~I love that you feel me…hear me.
I’ve missed you, Psycho <3 Xxxx
My Inner Chick recently posted..Moving Forward Using All My Breath
Beverly Diehl
April 29, 2012 at 10:38 pmHow many women (and perhaps even men) will be shaped, changed, saved, by you sharing Kay’s story, and your pain at her loss?
If I were you, I wouldn’t give a rat’s hat about them, I would trade everybody and everything to have my sister back. But since that’s not an option, at least you have some small comfort, I hope, knowing Kay’s life, her death, and your openness about it is changing hearts and lives. SAVING lives, I do believe.
Peace and love to you, now and always.
Beverly Diehl recently posted..Here’s What I Read in April When I Was Too Burned Out To Write
My Inner Chick
April 30, 2012 at 9:28 amDear, Beverly,
you are a girl after my own heart <3 Xxxx
My Inner Chick recently posted..Moving Forward Using All My Breath
Monica
April 29, 2012 at 11:01 pmKim, I don’t know how you do it.
How you live with the pain of what happened to Kay, and yet manage to go on with life, commenting on all our blogs, sending us such positive, supportive sentiments. I love you being part of my blogosphere. I love what you do, what you write. Through the memory of your sister, you are making an incredible difference, helping other women so that this horrible nightmare doesn’t happen to someone else. God bless you, Kim. Hugs, my friend.
Monica recently posted..Office Perks
My Inner Chick
April 30, 2012 at 9:30 am~~~~Monica,
thank you for your continual support & encouragement.
It means A LOT. Xxxx
My Inner Chick recently posted..Moving Forward Using All My Breath
Lady E
April 30, 2012 at 12:05 amDear Kim,
It’s the little things that get us, isn’t it? The memories when you least expect them that tear through your chest, the way beauty can no longer be shared.
What keeps scrunching my heart up on your behalf is the brutality of your loss, in every sense. And its finality…
Perhaps we can all bear a little bit of your sadness so that the burden may be lighter.
xx
Lady E recently posted..The five stages of break-up grief
My Inner Chick
April 30, 2012 at 9:30 am**Perhaps we can all bear a little bit of your sadness so that the burden may be lighter.**
What a beautiful line, Lady E. Xxx
My Inner Chick recently posted..Moving Forward Using All My Breath
Elephant's Child
April 30, 2012 at 2:41 amKim, I think that Kay would be feeling as bereft as you do if you had been the one stolen leaving her to struggle on alone. Reading your posts it is obvious that you needed each other to feel complete.
You do such amazing work in protecting many, many other women from the same fate, but that doesn’t reduce your pain by a drop.
Hurting for you, hurting with you, sending hugs.
Elephant’s Child recently posted..Sunday Selections #67
My Inner Chick
April 30, 2012 at 9:33 am~~~Elephant,
~~Yes. Kay’s blood and heart beats inside me.
thank you so much for your beautiful words. XXxxx
hope you are well..
My Inner Chick recently posted..Moving Forward Using All My Breath
Lorraine @ Not Quite Nigella
April 30, 2012 at 2:44 amBeautifully put Kim. Your heart still aches and it forever will. But you’re a strong, good person so you help out others by speaking out. Thank you xxx
Lorraine @ Not Quite Nigella recently posted..Vaucluse House Tearooms For Afternoon Tea
My Inner Chick
April 30, 2012 at 9:33 am-thanks for reading my mourning pages, L.
they seem to never end. xx
My Inner Chick recently posted..Moving Forward Using All My Breath
Quay Po Cooks
April 30, 2012 at 3:16 amOur love ones who had left us will live in our hearts and mind forever. HUGS!!
My Inner Chick
April 30, 2012 at 9:34 amHugs back, Quay. Xx
My Inner Chick recently posted..Moving Forward Using All My Breath
Emily
April 30, 2012 at 5:00 amI love the way you describe your sister, the way she found goodness and beauty in the world around her, and the way she inspires you every day. You had such an incredible love, such an incredible friendship.
Emily recently posted..Apartment Life
My Inner Chick
April 30, 2012 at 9:34 amNo love was Greater.
Ever. xx
My Inner Chick recently posted..Moving Forward Using All My Breath
marie
April 30, 2012 at 7:43 amHow can you let go when Kay is living in you, when her heart is beating in yours………..for every minute you live she is next to you, keep sharing your pain, keep spreading the beautiful love Kim.
xxxxxx
My Inner Chick
April 30, 2012 at 9:35 am~~~~~~Marie,
I will scream her story out FOREVER and EVER and EVER… Xxx
My Inner Chick recently posted..Moving Forward Using All My Breath
Lady Fi
April 30, 2012 at 9:30 amWe can’t let go of those we love: they live for always in our hearts.
Just beautiful!
Lady Fi recently posted..Bubbly feelings
My Inner Chick
April 30, 2012 at 9:36 amLady Fi,
And you are beautiful, as well. <3 Xx
My Inner Chick recently posted..Moving Forward Using All My Breath
Blond Duck
April 30, 2012 at 10:05 amHer soul is your strength.
Blond Duck recently posted..Magical Monday 87
Kim Sisto-Robinson
April 30, 2012 at 2:09 pmDucky,
So true. Yes. Xxxx
Patricia
April 30, 2012 at 10:25 amVery moving. Sending you positive vibes and lots of hugs. XO
Kim Sisto-Robinson
April 30, 2012 at 2:10 pmPatricia,
I’ll take all the positive vibes I can get. Thank You. Xxx
Adriana
April 30, 2012 at 11:04 amyour words always stir my soul.
they move me from one space to the next.
xoxo
Adriana recently posted..About Rabbit Holes…
Kim Sisto-Robinson
April 30, 2012 at 2:11 pmAdriana,
funny you should say that..
because I feel the same way about your photography, words, & positive spirit. Xxxx
Choc Chip Uru
April 30, 2012 at 12:41 pmYour strength, courage and boldness are inspiring mg friend. Hold on to her and cherish her memory, which you have shown beautifully today.
You are amazing.
Choc Chip Uru
Choc Chip Uru recently posted..A Belated Tribute: Anzac Day 2012
Kim Sisto-Robinson
April 30, 2012 at 2:11 pm–Thank you for reading my mourning/morning pages, Choc Chip. Xxx
Tia
April 30, 2012 at 6:25 pmLove you!
Kim Sisto-Robinson
April 30, 2012 at 7:51 pmlove you more…Xx
Kathy Radigan
April 30, 2012 at 6:35 pmI was so moved by your beautiful words and the powerful feelings behind them. You had me with each word, and in each word I was starting to feel like I was getting to know bits of your sister, Kay. Thank you. My heart goes out to you as you learn to walk without her.
Kathy Radigan recently posted..My Dishwasher’s Really Possessed!
Kim Sisto-Robinson
April 30, 2012 at 7:54 pmKathy,
~~~ I’m not sure I will ever learn to walk w/ out her…
I don’t know how… Yet.
Thank you for reading my mourning.
I shall visit you, as well Xxx
Pat Scattergood
May 1, 2012 at 7:35 amI love your sweet memories of your sweet sister.
Pat Scattergood recently posted..As the mind wanders…
My Inner Chick
May 1, 2012 at 9:27 amMe, Too, Pat <3 Xxx
My Inner Chick recently posted..Moving Forward Using All My Breath
Liz
May 1, 2012 at 2:11 pmNo, you can’t release, you can’t forget…but you can and you will fight against the epidemic of domestic violence. You have such a purpose…I admire you and thank you!!! xo
Liz recently posted..Hungarian Shortbread…Baking with Julia~
My Inner Chick
May 1, 2012 at 2:22 pm~~~~Liz,
thank you for your kind words <3 Xx
My Inner Chick recently posted..Moving Forward Using All My Breath
Blond Duck
May 1, 2012 at 4:36 pmSome love for you today.
Blond Duck recently posted..Sisters
My Inner Chick
May 1, 2012 at 4:39 pm–I’ll take it, Ducky. Xxx
Stacy Uncorked
May 1, 2012 at 6:48 pmShe will always live on in your heart – and smiling down on you with her graceful angel wings. ((HUGZ!!))
Stacy Uncorked recently posted..May Day Weather and Spicy Racks
Kim Sisto-Robinson
May 1, 2012 at 7:56 pmYes, Stacy,
Always. Always inside my heart <3 Xxx
CurvyEveryday
May 1, 2012 at 7:30 pmI don’t have the right words other than you are in my heart and sending you love. I am in tears and so thankful for my sister and can’t imagine your loss. You are a very strong woman.
Kim Sisto-Robinson
May 1, 2012 at 7:57 pmDear Curvy,
I’d give ANYTHING to have my sister back w/ me.
I miss her. I miss her deeply to my core.
Go call your sister. Now. Xxx
Wild Child Mama
May 1, 2012 at 7:35 pmDamn. DamnDamnDamn.
Wild Child Mama recently posted..Worry. Worry. Worry.
Kim Sisto-Robinson
May 1, 2012 at 7:58 pmLove Love Love. <3 Xxx
Impulsive Addict
May 1, 2012 at 9:31 pmYour writing is so beautiful and moving. NEVER stop writing. Ever!
Thanks for your sweet comment today. You make me smile too. xoxo
Impulsive Addict recently posted..April Awesomeness
Kim Sisto-Robinson
May 2, 2012 at 5:46 amNever! Ever!
Thanks for visiting, Impulsive! Xxxx
Brenda
May 1, 2012 at 10:03 pmMoving forward with all you have is more than most do on an ordinary day in an otherwise dull life. You flutter, you stall, to fly, to howl at the moon asking why, why did you do this to me, but every night that you leave a tear on the pillow, you also dream beautiful dreams and rise and begin again, breathing and moving forward with all that you have.
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Kim Sisto-Robinson
May 2, 2012 at 5:47 am-Sweet Brenda,
your support and words mean A LOT <3
Thank You Xxx
Joan
May 2, 2012 at 1:07 amHello Kay you have a beautiful post. Its true that It hurts like loneliness and death and darkness and breathlessness and anger & aching all mixed into one.
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Kim Sisto-Robinson
May 2, 2012 at 5:48 amThanks, Joan <3
(FL) Girl with a New Life
May 2, 2012 at 9:46 amI have such admiration for your bond with your sister, and such heartbreak over your loss of her.
(FL) Girl with a New Life recently posted..What I’m Eating: Chick Pea Salad Sandwiches & Homemade Mayo
Kim Sisto-Robinson
May 2, 2012 at 12:12 pmFL,
Such Heartbreak…
Sometimes it’s hard to find the light.
Xxx Kiss for You.
Anna
May 2, 2012 at 9:56 amShe was really really beautiful, it is such a terrible thing which happened to her, I just can’t believe that…
Anna recently posted..Ramblings about dental health issues
Kim Sisto-Robinson
May 2, 2012 at 12:12 pmAnna,
I can’t believe it either…
but it happend in my family.
Thanks for visiting. X
Christine @ Love, Life, Surf
May 2, 2012 at 10:37 amThis is heart wrenching and so beautiful. I am so very sorry for your loss but you have an incredible bond with your sister. You are absolutely right – never let her go in your heart and in your soul.
Christine @ Love, Life, Surf recently posted..Under Armour Women – What’s Beautiful
Kim Sisto-Robinson
May 2, 2012 at 12:13 pmChristine,
Thank you for visiting my mourning pages. Xx
Red Dwyer
May 2, 2012 at 11:52 amKim, you keep her close and relish in those beautiful memories everyday. The tragedy brings your tenderness to us. It is Kay’s gift of living on through you so you can bring us the beauty of your relationship and sisterhood and personify the love siblings should have.
Hug close those memories. They keep her alive for us all.
Love and hugs,
Red.
xxx
Red Dwyer recently posted..Knightly
Kim Sisto-Robinson
May 2, 2012 at 12:13 pmRed,
Love & Hugs Back to you. xx
Heather
May 2, 2012 at 1:09 pmThis is my first time reading your blog, and I am so sorry to hear what your family had to go through. Keep those beautiful memories of your sister close and never let go.
Heather recently posted..Baked My Day
Kim Sisto-Robinson
May 2, 2012 at 1:57 pmHeather,
I shall NEVER let go.
Thanks for reading. I shall come visit you, too. Xx
Julie
May 2, 2012 at 2:56 pmI want someone I love to read this. Someone who is in an abusive relationship that is only mentally/emotionally abusive at this point, but is escalating. I am so frustrated, because I know what can happen. I’ve read your sister’s story so many times. But what can I do? People don’t want to listen.
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My Inner Chick
May 2, 2012 at 3:12 pmNobody will listen until they are ready to listen….
Tell your friend your concerns. Send her this blog.
Mental–Emotional-& Verbal IS (((ABUSE))))
this is how it starts…This is how it ends.
I hope she HEARS you, Julie. Xxx
Born27
May 3, 2012 at 3:07 amI was in shock seeing the date. It’s my birthday and I am very sorry. I hope justice and peace is with you. Kay is very pretty and optimistic. For sure, she’s with you all the time. Just be strong for her. Always.
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Kim Sisto-Robinson
May 3, 2012 at 5:58 am–Thanks for reading, Born27. <3
Barbara @ Barbara Bakes
May 3, 2012 at 5:20 amIt’s a gorgeous bracelet, Good luck with the walk. I especially love the last line. It’s hard to believe the whole world doesn’t stop after a tragedy.
Barbara @ Barbara Bakes recently posted..Low Calorie Meals
Kim Sisto-Robinson
May 3, 2012 at 5:59 amBarbara,
yes, the whole world has gone forward,
…except me.
Love xx
Pamela
May 3, 2012 at 7:59 amI’ve never lost someone as close to me as Kay was to you, but I can believe I feel the horror of it, through you. I hope the walk is a huge success. I wish I was in Minnesota to do it!
Pamela recently posted..Nerves! Announcements!
My Inner Chick
May 3, 2012 at 8:24 am–Pamela,
I wish you could be there, too.
It would be great to meet you <3 Xxx
My Inner Chick recently posted..Moving Forward Using All My Breath
julie gardner
May 3, 2012 at 10:20 amI have a sister, as I’ve told you before.
Every time I come here I’m reminded of my love for her.
I could never let go, either.
But I want to tell you that when you write, it reaches us. It reminds us to love, to hold on tightly, to be present and aware and there in the moment.
I’m just sorry that your giving to us involves such pain for you.
Much love to you, my beautiful friend.
Always.
julie gardner recently posted..Today call me well-examined
Kim Sisto-Robinson
May 3, 2012 at 1:51 pmDear Julie,
Hold On…
HOLD on with everthing you have…
and Love Love Love.
Hugs from Minnesota. Xxoo
Blond Duck
May 3, 2012 at 6:40 pmI love you! 🙂
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My Inner Chick
May 3, 2012 at 7:40 pmI love You Too xx
My Inner Chick recently posted..Moving Forward Using All My Breath
Phil
May 3, 2012 at 8:07 pmKim,
So many days have passed. I sense a pain as raw as the day it was inflicted upon your heart. I sense a longing that is as unfulfilled as the day Kay was ripped from your arms. I sense a river of tears, the source of which will never dry. And yet, I sense a love, a devotion, and a purpose, all of which keeps that torch lit and provides light and warmth.
Steadfastness. That is what you are Kim. Always there, never forgotten.
Light and love to you my dear friend.
Phil
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Phil recently posted..Derby Day 2012
Kim Sisto-Robinson
May 4, 2012 at 5:52 am~~~~Phil,
Sending you love from Minnesota, Dear.
I’ve missed you.
Hope all is well with your family. <3 Xx
The Bipolar Diva
May 3, 2012 at 8:39 pmnever let go Kim, never let go. And keep moving forward, for both of us. I need your help. I’m at a standstill, yet the comment you left me was wonderfully encouraging. I just wish I could encourage you the same way. Don’t let go Kim, carry her always.
The Bipolar Diva recently posted..Don’t Wake Me Early
Kim Sisto-Robinson
May 4, 2012 at 5:53 amDear Diva,
Keep holding on…holding on….
…that’s what I am doing.
God hears your pain.
love flowing to you this very moment. Xxxxx
Maryden25
May 4, 2012 at 4:18 amI hope peace and the best for you. Hold on for hope, but let go of pain.
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Kim Sisto-Robinson
May 4, 2012 at 5:54 amMaryden,
Thank you for your encouragement. X
Kelley
May 4, 2012 at 9:45 amSome of my favorite posts of yours are when you tell us things that Kay did. Things like talking to sweet birds. I love hearing the things you did together. She was a beautiful person and so are you. I wish I could be there for the walk.
Kelley recently posted..Does this VHS tape belong to you??
My Inner Chick
May 4, 2012 at 11:57 amKelley,
I wish you could be there, too !! <3
My Inner Chick recently posted..Moving Forward Using All My Breath
Laci
May 4, 2012 at 8:15 pmNever let go. Never, ever, ever, ever let go.
You are doing such a wonderful thing for so many women who are being abused or who have been abused. You are thier voice. You are Kay’s voice. Don’t you ever let go of what means the most to you.
That is a beautiful bracelet! I wish you the all the best with the walk. I wish that I lived near because I would be there with bells on. I cannot wait to hear of the success! Have a great time remembering and representing your dear Kay.
Laci recently posted..Already Done
My Inner Chick
May 5, 2012 at 6:08 am–Wish you could be there, Sweet Laci.
I shall NEVER let go. Xxx
My Inner Chick recently posted..Moving Forward Using All My Breath
countingducks
May 5, 2012 at 4:15 amEvery time I come to your Blog and see these posts I am moved by the power of your emotions and the constancy of the emotions you feel about your sister. I love the way you remember these little details about her. God Bless You
countingducks recently posted..Egg On My Face
My Inner Chick
May 5, 2012 at 6:09 amThank You, Ducky <3
My Inner Chick recently posted..Moving Forward Using All My Breath
Karen Sosnoski
May 8, 2012 at 9:45 amI love your insight that the same feelings of grief that make your waking a nightmare are those that propel you through the day and keep you living. I don’t fully understand it but it struck a note of truth, Maybe feeling, however awful, is life–numbness, death in life. Thank you for making your sister alive and her loss real for those who didn’t know her. Love you and your words!
Kim Sisto-Robinson
May 8, 2012 at 2:46 pmKaren,
Thank you for your support, encouragement, & non-judgement of my mourning pages.
I love you and your words TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xxxxxxxxxxxx
Brenda
May 12, 2012 at 8:18 amI echo what Wild Child Mama said but send along warmth and compassion.
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Kim Sisto-Robinson
May 12, 2012 at 8:21 am-Thank You, Dearest. Xx
Blogging Out Loud :: My Inner Chick
January 5, 2013 at 2:29 pm[…] wrote Kay’s Story over and over. I wrote my mourning on this so-called-blog of mine until the sadness and tears and […]