–Mr. Liverpool and I went to
Saint Shirley’s today for my brother’s birthday.
She serves gorgeous slices of white spongy
You know, the kind of cake with that thick-
silky- sugary-fluffy-butter cream frosting?
“Kimmy, do you want a piece? She smiles,
passing me a plate.
“Not now, Mama.” I say.
“Okay, I’ll send some for the kids.”
On the way home, Mr. Liverpool asks:
“Did Saint Shirley send cake with you?”
I mean, Why should he care?
I don’t want to tell him I have two gigantic
slices hidden in my purse cause I want to
lick eat the frosting later with some diet
All. By. Myself.
I don’t want to tell him I’m addicted,
obsessed, and outrageously excited to eat every. single. drop. of that thick-
silky- sugary- fluffy- butter cream
…while watching Netflix.
Finally I say, “No.”
Yes, I’m a
very naughty girl.
When Mr. Liverpool
Finally goes to bed, I turn on the Swedish Version of “Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.”
Which kicks some serious ass, by
I seize my cake, diet coke, and
get all comfy on the couch.
With a fork, I slowly
devour savor and scrape the frosting off both pieces.
I conceal the rest in the
Waaaaaay down to the bottom.
Early next morning, Mr.
Liverpool comes into the bedroom and says,
“Kim, wake up. I want to show you
“Are you serious?” I say. “It’s 5:30.”
I drag my butt out of bed and go
into the living room.
What do I see?
Charlie, otherwise known as Little Bastard is eating Saint Shirley’s
sponge cake in the middle of the carpet.
Crumbs are spread out all over
the damn place.
I can feel Mr. Liverpool’s smirk
burning thru my skin.
“BUuuuuuSTED!” He laughs.
I just let Little Bastard keep
But I’m seriously considering placing him in a home for Wicked Evil Cats.
Dear Reader, what have you been busted for recently? Do you have any mischievous pets?