—-“Out of the depths I have cried out to thee, O Lord. Hear
my voice…”—King David
~~A Note of Importance: Please respect this page of words, beliefs,
opinions, lamenting, questioning, & comments… & I shall respect
yours. Thank you. Love Love Love, Kim
—-I believe in God, the Son, and the Holy Ghost.
I always have.
From the very beginning, I was a deep thinker, a question
asker, a truth-seeker.
I was also a rebel.
Unquestionably– not societies mainstream Christian girl.
Positively– not your conventional Christian girl.
But I loved God regardless.
Back then, I was attracted to the eccentric, unusual naughty girls such as Plath, Sexton, Joplin, Jong,
I observed something in these women I could identify with; something
I recognized in myself, I suppose.
I didn’t know a
hell. of. a. lot. then.
But somehow, without hesitation, I knew this….
God Existed. God Lived.
God Was. God
I sensed his breath upon me–
….smelling of rain
& sun & moon
… Something else.
I never sought out Buddha or Scientology or Kabbalohism or
Islam or Me-ism or MacLainism or whatever …
I just knew what I knew.
Before my sister’s murder, I prayed like this:
“Thank You! Thank You!
Thank You! O, God, Thaaaaank
Now I pray like this:
Help Me! Help Me! O, God, Heeeeelp Me!”
I once declared:
“God has a reason for everything.”
I once said:
“It could be worse, honey”
Let me start again.
I’ve lost so so so so so fucking much:
….my sister, my best friend, my soul mate, my prayer
partner, my secret keeper, my religion, my church, my heart…
But even thru these darkest days, these shadows, these nameless
I have not lost my God.
If I did. If I did….
I’d lose EVERTHING.
What have you held onto during your darkest hours?
My sister, Kay, was murdered on May 26, 2010 by Mike Peterson. The world Shook. The sun stopped shining.
…But we shall unite once again, my dear. I look forward to it. Xxxxx
800-799-SAFE (7233) or at TTY 1-800-787-3224.
CLick for help if you are being physically abused, verbally abused,
emotionally abused, belittled, diminished, finacially abused,
sexually abused, or mini
This book by Annie Lamott changed my life: Traveling Mercies