8 Things I Hate About Me
8 Things I Hate About
I hate when I’m envious of other people.
For example, today I scan a few blogs where the writing is
deliciously- Diablo -Cody divine.
And I get pissed off about it. Yeah.
I think, “Why can’t I write like that?
Why can’t I be amusing & witty ?
Why can’t I get hundreds of comments?
Why can’t I quit work and blog full-time?
Why can’t I be ridiculously, outragesously popular?
I have a quick pity party.
Then get over it. kind of.
2. I hate when I freak out about my weight.
Especially when I go to the doctor.
“ I don’t weigh that much, do I? Excuuuuse me while I remove my bracelets, lipstick, & nose-ring, will you?
Now check the scale, dumb asssss.
3. I hate that I’m a procrastinator.
Therefore, heaps of laundry overflows, heaps, & screams out to me. Mostly
with boy’s underwear & socks. wth?
Charlie’s litter box needs poop-scoopin.’
Mama needs a mammogram.
hate that I can never let go.
Picture It: My son receives
his driver’s license, and I go nutso,
freako, psycho, all mommy-ish.
I walk the floors to and fro uttering, no no no no not yet.
“Mom, stop it. It’s going to be okay.” Andrew says.
Before I give him the keys, I grasp his hand tightly. I can’t think of anything else to do.
Repeat after me I say,
“Our Father who art in heaven….
5. I hate that I’m not assertive enough
Yes. It’s true.
Why don’t you believe
For instance, If my food is luke warm when I order it, I’ll
tell the waiter that I am the one who is Sorry!
Sad. But true.
6. I hate that I’m not a morning person.
I’d love to get up at dawn to pray, exercise, and throw a
load of underwear and socks in the washer.
I’m quite jealous of two of my co-workers who get up at 4:30
to get their asses kicked by Jillian Michaels‘ .
Damn you, Mrs. Erie & Mrs. Luvkosky. Damn you, for being thin and gorgeous and annoying.
hate that I have no will power.
Yeah, when it comes to chocolate chip cookies, babe.
I will eat them here
and there. I will eat them anywhere.
I will eat them in the house. I will eat them with a mouse.
Well, you get the picture.
This might be the reason my I despise going to the doctor.
8. I hate that I feel like half a human being
I don’t want to. I
But I do. I do.
For example, part of
my body is here–-and the other part of
my organs there.
One piece of my heart
is here—and the other beats there.
One segment of soul is here—the other waiting there.
~~~Dearest, Reader, are
there some things you’d like to change about yourself? ~~~~ An Added Note to my readers: this post was meant to be fun & a bit light. it doesn’t mean i hate myself or my quirky flaws!! please don’t take this so literally!!! thank you. Kim. xx
Special Note——- I Looooove DIABLO CODY. Yes, she was once a popular blogger. And now, well, now she’s a screen writer, and of course, she wrote the Brillant, Fabulous, Freaking Amazing…