8  Things I Hate About
Me…

 

1.
I hate when I’m envious of other people.

 

For example, today I scan a few blogs where the writing is
deliciously- Diablo -Cody divine.

And I get pissed off about it.  Yeah.
I think, “Why can’t I write like that?
Why can’t I be amusing & witty ?
Why can’t I get hundreds of comments?
Why can’t I quit work and blog full-time?

 

Why can’t I be ridiculously, outragesously popular?

 

I have a quick pity party.
Then get over it.    kind of.

 

2. I hate when I freak out about my weight.

 

Especially when I go to the doctor.

 

“ I don’t weigh that much, do I?  Excuuuuse me while I  remove my bracelets, lipstick,  & nose-ring, will you?

 

Now check the scale, dumb asssss.

 

3. I hate that I’m a procrastinator.

 

Therefore, heaps of laundry overflows, heaps,  & screams out to me.   Mostly
with boy’s underwear & socks.  wth?

Charlie’s litter box needs poop-scoopin.’

Mama needs a mammogram.

 

Shit.

 

4. I
hate that I can never let go.

 

Picture It:   My son receives
his driver’s license, and  I go nutso,
freako, psycho, all mommy-ish.

 

I walk the floors to and fro uttering,  no no  no  no  not yet.

“Mom, stop it.  It’s going to be okay.”  Andrew says.

 

Before I give him the keys, I grasp his hand tightly.  I can’t think of anything else to do.

Repeat after me I say,
“Our Father who art in heaven….

5. I hate that I’m not assertive enough

Yes.  It’s true.

 

Why don’t  you believe
me?

 

For instance, If my food is luke warm when I order it, I’ll
tell the waiter that I am the one who is Sorry!

 

Sad.  But true.

6.    I hate that I’m not a morning person.

 

I’d love to get up at dawn to pray, exercise, and throw a
load of underwear and socks in the washer.

 

I’m quite jealous of two of my co-workers who get up at 4:30
to get their asses kicked by Jillian Michaels‘ .

 

Damn you,   Mrs. Erie & Mrs. Luvkosky.  Damn you, for being thin and gorgeous and annoying.

 

7. I
hate that I have no will power.

 

Yeah, when it comes to chocolate chip cookies, babe.

 

I will eat them here
and there.   I will eat them anywhere.

I will eat them in the house.  I will eat them with a mouse.

 

Well, you get the picture.

 

This might be the reason my I despise going to the doctor.

 

8. I hate that I feel like half a human being
without Kay.

 

I don’t want to.  I
truly don’t.

 

But I do.  I do.

 

For example,  part of
my body is here-and the other part of
my organs there.

 

One piece  of my heart
is here—and the other beats there.

 

One segment of soul is here—the other waiting there.

pink lips Xxx

~~~Dearest, Reader,  are
there some things you’d like to change about yourself?   ~~~~ An Added Note to my readers:  this post was meant to be fun & a bit light.  it doesn’t mean i hate myself or my quirky flaws!!  please don’t take this so literally!!!  thank you.  Kim. xx

Special Note——-  I Looooove  DIABLO CODY.  Yes,  she was once a popular blogger.   And now, well, now she’s a screen writer, and of course, she wrote the Brillant, Fabulous, Freaking Amazing…

“JUNO.”

Diablo Cody on Developing Creativity & Writing Honestly

 

 

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