In Memory of Kay

Words Slam, Crush, Destroy


 

~Handle them carefully, for words have more power than atom bombs~~ Peral Strachan Hurd

Kay at 16 years old.

 

~~”When did it all begin?” Somebody
asked me after Kay’s execution.

At the very beginning.”
I responded.

All of the signs were there, I guess.

He’d sit outside our house for hours waiting
for Kay to get home from other engagements.

He’d beg her to go out with him.

Please. Please. Please.

He’d promised her a better life, a beautiful
life.

She was sixteen.

He was twenty two.

She married him three years later.

Am I doing the right thing?”
She asked the night before the wedding.

No.” I said. ” Hell,
No. Don’t fucking do it.”

But Mom and Dad already paid for
everything. How can I back out now
? Everyone will be mad at me.”

She had a baby right away. Then another. And
another.

But he was never a father.

Never a husband.

Never a man.

He only saw Kay.  Only wanted Kay.  Only wanted somebody he could control.

She’d often say…”He crushes my
spirit, my soul. He doesn’t respect me. He makes me feel small, stupid
.”

I wish I would have known  then that Domestic Abuse is not simply about
slamming one’s head against a wall.

I wish I would have known then that
words  Slam, Crush, Destroy.

Words can destroy the essence of who we are,
who we might be.

She thought he’d change.

He never did.

All
I desire is to be respected. I want him to listen to my dreams, goals, ideas. I
so much want to be loved. I so much want to be respected.”

He never respected her.

The ending was like the beginning.

The murderer stalked her, broke into her
facebook, watched her from a distance, and  listened to her phone calls.

He pleaded with her:

I’ll
change. I’ll go to church with you. I’ll be better. Don’t leave me.”

Please.  Please.
Please.

It was too late.

 

On May 26, 2010, the murderer waited
for Kay to get home from work.

 

He waited like a like a
predator, like a monster.

 

Perhaps he said a small prayer
before he snuck up behind her.

 

Perhaps he said nothing.

 

Oh, God, I hope he said nothing.

 

He put the gun to the back of
her head and pulled the trigger three times.

 

Darkness fell.  The sun diminished.  The earth shook.

 

In Kay’s last journal page, she
wrote:

 

I wish he’d leave me alone.  Why can’t he be happy?   Why can’t he just get out of my life.   Help me.
Help me
.  Help me.”

 

But it was too late.

 

It was too damn fucking fucking
late.

Kay was executed by Mike Peterson on May 26, 2010.  The world stopped.  The void will NEVER be filled.

800-799-SAFE (7233) or at TTY 1-800-787-3224.

http://www.thehotline.org/get-help/help-in-your-area/

In Memory of Kay

CLick for help if you are being physically abused, verbally abused,

emotionally abused, belittled, diminished, finacially abused,

sexually abused, or  minimized in any way…>>pink lips

–Dear, Readers,  please visit  Ashley\’s Page She was recently awarded the Title of Miss Indiana 2012  & her Platform is “Domestic Abuse.”

Congratulations, Ashley!!!

 

 


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124 Comments

  • Reply
    Hot Coco @ Flab to Fab
    January 31, 2012 at 6:31 pm

    It is so easy to disregard – or forget – that words can do as much damage as a punch to the jaw.

    It is so unimaginable, what he did to your Kay, Kim.

    (((((( you )))))) xo
    Hot Coco @ Flab to Fab recently posted..January Wrap-UpMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      February 1, 2012 at 3:30 pm

      –Coco,
      Yes. Unimaginable. So Unbelievable.

      Xx

  • Reply
    Laci
    January 31, 2012 at 6:44 pm

    I have never cried like I cried when reading that. I was sobbing and shaking. I can relate. I hate that I can relate, but I can relate. I had a meeting with my therapist today. The best one ever! She told me what I already knew. She told me what others have told me but I only looked away. There are so many things that I have learned from going through the healing journey of my childhood abuse. One of those things is that words are abusive. And the words are just the start of the abuse. They start out little and build bigger and bigger. She actually told me that if I had said that he ever laid a hand on me that she would insist that I leave today. Kim, you have helped me open my eyes. Thank you for sharing your story and helping others through the horrible event on that day in May. I cannot thank you enough!!!
    Laci recently posted..A Desire For MoreMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      February 1, 2012 at 3:31 pm

      –Laci,
      I HATE that you can relate to this story…

      but I love that you are beginning to heal & get help.

      Love. Xxxx

  • Reply
    totsymae1011
    January 31, 2012 at 6:45 pm

    This numbs me. An unfinished life and who has been left behind…
    The anguish…Unspeakable because it’s so large…

    The words…like grooming one to believe they are nothing. And she
    was everything.

    Love,
    Tots
    totsymae1011 recently posted..I Ate the CookieMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      February 1, 2012 at 3:32 pm

      –Tots,
      Exquistely said.

      She. Was. Everything.

      He was nothing.

      Love Love Love. Xx

  • Reply
    Irene
    January 31, 2012 at 6:46 pm

    I know you feel you felt you could have done something. Please don’t blame yourself. That has to be most frustrating, but don’t be so hard on yourself. I don’t think anyone thought he’d do the unimaginable. He was a very unstable person! He knew repercussions of what would happen if he stuck around! The backlash of MANY would have not been pleasant!
    Irene recently posted..The Birds-Pennsylvania StyleMy Profile

  • Reply
    CB
    January 31, 2012 at 6:57 pm

    Stalkers and murderers feel entitled. Who stops them? Nobody. They kill as though invincible. That’s because the system encourages hatred of females, the weak, the poor, the disenfranchised, the victim.

    A young woman was slapped around by her husband. This woman’s brother and father went looking for the motherfucker and when they found him they beat him senseless. Do you think that piece of shit ever went near her again?

    No. He slinked away forever.

    Every single abuser should have a good long taste of his own medicine. Immediate retribution. No waiting period.
    CB recently posted..three by himselfMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      February 1, 2012 at 3:34 pm

      –CB,
      I can feel your passion & anguish thru my computer.

      I agree. Immediate retriubution. NO waiting period. EVER.

      Xx

  • Reply
    Kristy @PampersandPinot
    January 31, 2012 at 7:36 pm

    It is all a nightmare. I am so sorry your sister had to see this kind of end.
    Kristy @PampersandPinot recently posted..Teaser TuesdayMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      February 1, 2012 at 3:35 pm

      —Yes.
      I awaken & realize it’s all REAL.
      All fucking real.

      Xx Thanks for your support, Kristy.

  • Reply
    adventures in alyssaland
    January 31, 2012 at 7:39 pm

    Wow. Just wow. Thanks for this raw post.
    adventures in alyssaland recently posted..Mean Girls in AlyssalandMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      February 1, 2012 at 3:36 pm

      –Adventure.

      I think my feeling about this new reality shall always be Raw.

      Love when you visit. Xx

  • Reply
    Lorraine @ Not Quite Nigella
    January 31, 2012 at 10:30 pm

    I still get chills reading about Kay’s murder. Thank you for writing about it Kim with such raw honesty xxx
    Lorraine @ Not Quite Nigella recently posted..The Corner House, BondiMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      February 1, 2012 at 3:37 pm

      –Lorraine,
      You’ve been there from the very beginning.

      Thank you for your support and reading my mourning… Xx

  • Reply
    Goodness and Grit
    February 1, 2012 at 12:23 am

    Picture painted poiniently.

    Powerful.

    I love your determination to continue

    Helping others

    as you

    yourself are down.

    NOT an easy task. You are truly a special person Kim.

    Klem,
    Kimberly
    Goodness and Grit recently posted..The Horror of RealityMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      February 1, 2012 at 3:45 pm

      Kimberly,
      My mourning pages are my journal.

      Thank you for reading my lamenting & screaming & weeping. Xxx

  • Reply
    Elephant's Child
    February 1, 2012 at 12:30 am

    When I was young (a thousand years ago) there was a little ditty we were taught at school to be chanted at bullies. I remember it still
    ‘Sticks and Stone can break my bones, but
    Words will never hurt me’.

    Wrong, wrong, wrong. I suspect that most domestic violence starts with controlling and diminishing people (usually women) with words. And goes on from there.
    As it did when I first found your blog, my heart hurts for and with you. Sending hugs and good wishes from afar, while knowing that they cannot take away your pain.
    Elephant’s Child recently posted..Corellas Grooming Part 2.My Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      February 1, 2012 at 3:47 pm

      ***domestic violence starts with controlling and diminishing people***

      Dear, this is a VERY true statement. I’ve learned much in the last 18 months.

      Xxx

  • Reply
    Mercy
    February 1, 2012 at 3:27 am

    so sad Kim. I wish things would have been different.

    Kay had such a good heart, and I still have the card she sent me when I turned 22. She had such nice things to say.

    Loooove you.

    In my life, I have lost so many people Kim, and each day, it gets tougher. Each day, I wake up with a new reality. It is not easy. It is very hard, there is just a new wave of sorrow whenever I wake up. I realize my friend Diana isnt here, I cant even delete her number from my phonebook. It is a bad finality that I cant face…

    Yet….
    what can we do?

    Man must live. But it is hard. it is almost impossible, sometimes i get so angry.

    Live. love. Continue…

    Because,
    what else can we do?

    I just want to see God. To embrace Him.

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      February 1, 2012 at 3:48 pm

      –Mercy,
      Who would have thought a little girl from Kenya would steal my heart.

      I love you more than 8 tigers snuggling & purring in the Kisumu Sun.

      Xxx

      I still have Kay in my cell phone. I’ll never remove it.

  • Reply
    Debbie
    February 1, 2012 at 4:34 am

    I can feel everything that you write. You have such a gift and are helping so many people. Good for you, Kim….just keep living. One line really stuck with me “the end was like the beginning.” People really do not change, do they….
    Debbie recently posted..Buttermilk Coconut Bundt CakeMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      February 1, 2012 at 3:50 pm

      –Debbie,
      I know that he never changed…. We always thought he would…

      But now he is only a murderer…

      xxx

  • Reply
    Karen
    February 1, 2012 at 6:01 am

    Sixteen, wow, she was so very young when this started. Such a sad, frightening story and so important to get it out there in order to untangle how this happens. You are doing such important work, Kim. Thank you.

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      February 1, 2012 at 3:53 pm

      –Karen,
      Thank you for reading my mourning. Thank you for your support. Xx

  • Reply
    Blond Duck
    February 1, 2012 at 6:03 am

    There’s a special place in hell for him.
    Blond Duck recently posted..Wings 11My Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      February 1, 2012 at 3:54 pm

      –Dear, B. D.
      You know what?

      His True Hell is not being w/ Kay.

      This is his hell.

      X

  • Reply
    marie
    February 1, 2012 at 6:03 am

    Powerful, deep, I had tears in my eyes just imagining the terrible end but also the heaviness and atrocities Kay had to endure all these years, the pain of every day, the danger of every minute.

    Words have power, words can kill slowly.

    Oh Kim I don’t have any miracle recipe to help you. I am just there. I just pray. I send my love to you.
    xx
    marie recently posted..ParadoxMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      February 1, 2012 at 3:55 pm

      -Marie,
      I feel your prayers. I feel your love….

      Thank you. Xxx

  • Reply
    elizabeth
    February 1, 2012 at 6:37 am

    Every time I read what that monster did to that gentle soul, it makes me sick and so sad. you and your family gave her her life meaning by loving and respecting her. sending you love and hugs. xxx elizabeth

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      February 1, 2012 at 3:56 pm

      –Dear Elizabeth,
      I am sick. I am sad.

      She was (is) beautiful. He never deserved this angel. xx Kiss.

  • Reply
    Bayard Coulombe
    February 1, 2012 at 7:00 am

    My heart sank as I read this post. When I come across such incidents I usually think that is this love? I question myself. Probably, Mike needed some medical help. but before he could cure himself he destroyed Kay. I feel very sorry for Kay, the way she died. Who is taking care of her children now?
    Bayard Coulombe recently posted..Home trainer pas cherMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      February 1, 2012 at 3:58 pm

      –Bayard,
      No.
      Not. Love.

      He never loved…he just controlled.

      My mom has her youngest son. And her other 2 boys are on their own.

      XXx

  • Reply
    Vidya Sury, Freelance Writer & Blogger
    February 1, 2012 at 7:32 am

    Unfair, unfair, unfair! What a waste of a beautiful life. I often wonder, why nothing ever seems to happen to those who are real shits and why all the bad things happen to the good people. I guess I will die wondering.

    My mother was a victim of domestic violence. She married at 13. She was tortured until she was 17. Then ridiculously, she became pregnant. She used to tell me she kept praying for death. But only got her thighs, her body used as an ashtray. She got pushed down the stairs. She got beaten. But she kept quiet. Because her dad had spent so much, and after he passed away, her brothers continued the giving. And then, two or three months before I was born, he went to the US. Settled there, got married to someone else.

    My mother was grateful for the “release” although the family continued to milk her family dry. The audacity! So atrocious. Over the years, slowly, mom shared all that she went through. Now you know why we were best friends. Because although things became better after she returned to her mother’s place, we weren’t perceived as “normal” people you know? Abandoned. Even though mom finished her education – enough to find a job anyway to support us both. But we had to pay heavily for the moral support – as long as we lived with family.

    Sorry to have rambled on, Kim. But I so totally understand how you feel about Kay. Beautiful Kay. The injustice of it all makes my blood boil. Hugs and love.
    Vidya Sury, Freelance Writer & Blogger recently posted..The Haiku Challenge 2012 – Day 1 – What is Life?My Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      February 1, 2012 at 4:01 pm

      –Dearest, Vidya,

      You never told me this.
      I am so sorry. So very sorry.
      I know how much you love your mother. Your Best Friend.

      Injustice? Yes.

      Life is Sad. Surreal. Horrendous.

      One must keep on living and make a difference, I guess.

      Is this what one must do?

      Xx Love Love Love. Xxx

  • Reply
    Dad
    February 1, 2012 at 7:45 am

    Kim, I know how I feel, so I know how you feel. We know things could have been different, but who
    would have thought he would do such a terrible act.
    Love You
    Dad

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      February 1, 2012 at 4:02 pm

      –Daddy,
      I love you more than 9 shimmering panthers purring in the moonlight.
      XXXXXXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  • Reply
    Jann Huizenga
    February 1, 2012 at 7:50 am

    Infinitely sad. Haunting. Such power in your writing, Kim. Of course you couldn’t have really suspected what that man was about to do–how can any sane person even IMAGINE such a depraved scenario?
    Jann Huizenga recently posted..Sicily: Men, Mischief, MotoriniMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      February 1, 2012 at 4:07 pm

      –Sweet,Jann,
      Thank you for all of your support and encouraging words. Xx— it is appreciated.

  • Reply
    Lola
    February 1, 2012 at 8:37 am

    “Goodness and Grit” said it best:

    “I love your determination to continue

    Helping others

    as you

    yourself are down.”

    You really are remarkable, Kim.
    Lola recently posted..Yo Mamma!My Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      February 1, 2012 at 4:09 pm

      –Lola,

      Not Remarkable whatsoever….

      Just putting one foot in front of the other–
      because I don’t know any other way out…

      I sooo love when you visit me. xx

  • Reply
    (FL) Girl with a New Life
    February 1, 2012 at 9:05 am

    How courageous of you to continue to share our story in order to educate others.

    This is such an important message to women. It is a message that might save lives.
    (FL) Girl with a New Life recently posted..Check Out My Interview: A Duck In Her PondMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      February 1, 2012 at 4:10 pm

      —Dear FL.

      That is my hope…that other women see themselves in my writings about Kay.

      Xx

  • Reply
    Charlotte
    February 1, 2012 at 11:00 am

    Your words are so powerful, I feel there’s not much else I can contribute to adequately express to you how deeply moved I am. But I am. I am so sorry for your loss and for the years of abuse your beautiful sister went through.

    Don’t ever blame yourself for what happened. I can’t imagine losing a sister, but know in your heart always how much she loved you and how much your support/encouragement/words helped her through the years. And I’m glad you have this platform to share your story–Kay’s story–and that you can perhaps help others who feel stuck in their own situations.

    XOXO
    Charlotte recently posted..going under the needleMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      February 1, 2012 at 4:14 pm

      –Charlotte,
      Thanks for visiting my mourning pages.

      I used to tell Kay all the time…

      “I couldn’t live without You!”

      Now I am.

      It SUCKS. Xx

  • Reply
    Hilary
    February 1, 2012 at 11:12 am

    Kim, I always want to hug you… I know it is easy to say, but you must try not to blame yourself… you had no way of knowing what happened, and you being their for Kay, i am sure was so helpful….
    Hilary recently posted..Got Wood? wordless wednesdayMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      February 1, 2012 at 4:15 pm

      –Hilary,
      I appreciate your kind, generous words. I feel your hug. X

  • Reply
    Impulsive Addict
    February 1, 2012 at 11:13 am

    Oh gosh. This is horrible. I didn’t know she had 3 children with this monster. Who has the children now?
    Impulsive Addict recently posted..Weigh-In WednesdayMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      February 1, 2012 at 4:16 pm

      –Impulsive,

      Yes, 3 boys.

      But he was NEVER a father to them….Or a husband. x

  • Reply
    Julia
    February 1, 2012 at 12:08 pm

    You are so right about how words can hurt. I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your story, I hope that it helps others who are struggling with domestic violence.
    Julia recently posted..Going with my GutMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      February 1, 2012 at 4:18 pm

      –Julia,
      Thank you for visiting my page. I appreciate it. xxx

  • Reply
    Brenda
    February 1, 2012 at 12:55 pm

    No words to say only a shoulder on a friend here in San Francisco. Your strength is your love. There are not enough words, and even if I had them I am not sure would comfort your soul.
    Brenda recently posted..Message to HeavenMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      February 1, 2012 at 4:19 pm

      –Brenda,
      If I’m ever in San Francisco…you’d be the first shoulder I’d look for… Xxx

  • Reply
    Janice
    February 1, 2012 at 1:35 pm

    Hi, Kim,

    This was a sobering but very necessary read. All too often people think of abuse as entirely physical. Sometimes the abuser doesn’t lay a hand on the person.

    They just play the same tapes over and over and over and over until they are so fastly stuck in the head of the abused, inner resistance breaks down and you begin to believe them. Some people used to ask, when I was working with victims of violence, why does she stay?

    I used to ask, why doesn’t he stop? And I don’t mean just he, I understand abusers can be other family members, gay partners, etc. so abusers come in many forms as we all know when anyone mentions priests and residential schools in the same sentence.

    Keep sharing, keep purging. Keep it loud. The healing journey is a different road for each of us.

    Glad to be here with you on yours and grateful for all the light you bring to the world by sharing with all of us. Much love to your heart and soul from mine xo
    Janice

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      February 1, 2012 at 4:22 pm

      –Dear Janice,

      ***Keep sharing, keep purging. Keep it loud.***

      I’m beginning to believe this is exsactly what Changes the world and begins necessary Revolutions.

      Xxx

  • Reply
    Jessica
    February 1, 2012 at 2:25 pm

    My sister was in an abusive relationship for awhile and it was so painful to see her going through that. She wouldn’t listen to our please to leave. Finally, one day she had the courage and left him. It wasn’t easy and she had to get many restraining orders against him. He is currently in prison and will probably be there for the rest of his life.
    Jessica recently posted..When Mommy Naps…My Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      February 1, 2012 at 4:23 pm

      –Oh, Jessica,
      I did not know this.
      I am pleased she got out before it was too late for her…
      I wish Kay would have..

      Xxx

  • Reply
    Kelly @ Inspired Edibles
    February 1, 2012 at 2:34 pm

    I’m so sorry for your pain Kim. You’re right, it’s so much bigger than physical abuse and so much more complicated too…

    Big hug to you – xo
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    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      February 1, 2012 at 4:23 pm

      –Kelly,
      Big Hug Back…Xxxooo

  • Reply
    victorias_view
    February 1, 2012 at 6:56 pm

    Domestic violence comes in many forms and it is heart-breaking when there is no escape from an abuser/stalker. We want to hear the happy ending but sometimes that is not the case…I’m sorry for your pain Kim. It’s by writing powerful posts like this that can educate and empower women to get out and find the help they need before it is too late.
    victorias_view recently posted..Snow Birds and Broken AppliancesMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      February 1, 2012 at 8:38 pm

      —-Victoria’s View,
      Thank you for your very kind words.

      I shall scream out Kay’s Story Forever…

      Xxx

  • Reply
    MommaKiss
    February 1, 2012 at 7:28 pm

    Sweet lord above, every time I read about your sister, it breaks my heart. I lost a sibling, much too young, but not at ALL like this. Not murder. Not by an abuser. My heart hurts, for her kids. For you. For her.

    Your sharing her story is helping people, though. It’s SO helping.
    MommaKiss recently posted..Friday Flip Offs 7-15My Profile

  • Reply
    Helene
    February 1, 2012 at 8:44 pm

    Oh gosh, every time I read the words about your sister, my heart breaks into a million tiny pieces all over again. I just want to shout at my computer, “It’s not fair!!” She sounds like she was an amazing person with so much left to do in this world…so many people who loved her and cared about her. And then this asshole took it all away because he was selfish and sick.

    Again, sending you many hugs….always.
    Helene recently posted..Pouring My Heart Out…Parenting Has Turned Me Into a Social HermitMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      February 1, 2012 at 9:16 pm

      Helene,
      He took and took and took…
      this is what he did.

      –And she Gave EVERYTHING. Even her life…

      Xx Kiss for you.

  • Reply
    Ashley
    February 2, 2012 at 2:06 am

    Thanks for linking me! Your sister has lovely photos.
    Ashley recently posted..Body MemesMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      February 2, 2012 at 6:37 am

      —Ashley,
      Congrats!
      I hope you win 😉 x

  • Reply
    Emily
    February 2, 2012 at 2:45 am

    Oh Kim, you are such a powerful force for good.
    Emily recently posted..PercolateMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      February 2, 2012 at 6:38 am

      –Oooo, Emily,
      I do hope so.
      Thank you. x

  • Reply
    Lady Fi
    February 2, 2012 at 5:22 am

    You’re right – psychological abuse can be far more damaging than physical abuse.

    This post moved me so much.
    Lady Fi recently posted..SunbeamsMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      February 2, 2012 at 6:39 am

      –Lady Fi,
      & you move me…

      Xx have a nice Thursday.

  • Reply
    Mandy - The Complete Cook Book
    February 2, 2012 at 6:33 am

    Such unnecessary pain and anger – the bastard, how dare he!!!
    Sending you love and hugs dear Kim.
    🙂 Mandy xo
    Mandy – The Complete Cook Book recently posted..In My Kitchen – February 2012My Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      February 2, 2012 at 6:40 am

      –Mandy,
      Yes, I’ve said this often, “HOW DARE HIM. How dare him! HOW fucking dare him.”

      Xxx Kiss for you in S. Africa.

  • Reply
    Alison@Mama Wants This
    February 2, 2012 at 8:48 am

    Words can crush and destroy, yes. And I’m so sorry your beautiful Kay endured what she did. No one deserves that.

    But YOUR words now, are more powerful than a monster’s. Your words are bringing your sister’s spirit to life here on your blog. Hold that close to you. xo
    Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..I’m a Global Mama!My Profile

  • Reply
    Kimberly
    February 2, 2012 at 9:01 am

    Kim,
    I have no words for you.
    I’m crying. My heart is breaking right along with yours. I will never know your pain. But know that if I could shoulder at least a smidge of it, I would.
    Love. Love you. Love you for bringing a strong voice to violence.
    I know that Kay loves you so much too.
    xoxox
    Kimberly recently posted..Guilty WhispersMy Profile

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      February 2, 2012 at 9:24 am

      Kimberly,
      Thank you for letting me know I’m not alone.

      thank you for letting hundreds of women know they are not alone.

      I shall Scream forever. I shall Cry forever. I shall Lament forever.

      I will NEVER stop as long as I have a pulse inside my body.

      And I know you will, too.

      Love Love Love your voice & your essence. & you. Xx

  • Reply
    lisa
    February 2, 2012 at 9:15 am

    What he did to Kay was unimaginable.
    My heart breaks for her, and for you.
    xo.
    lisa recently posted..SunshineMy Profile

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      February 2, 2012 at 9:25 am

      –Unimaginable.
      Unbelieveable.

      I still can’t believe it, Lisa. Xx

  • Reply
    Barbara @ Barbara Bakes
    February 2, 2012 at 3:03 pm

    So raw and poignant. My heart breaks for all those she left behind.
    Barbara @ Barbara Bakes recently posted..Easy Pizza Monkey BreadMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      February 2, 2012 at 5:33 pm

      –Yes, Barbara,
      My heart breaks, too.

      X Love when you stop by…

  • Reply
    LBDDiaries
    February 2, 2012 at 4:48 pm

    Compared to how swiftly bruises and broken bones heal, words can take a lifetime… or one might never heal. Slaps hurt but words diminish how we feel about ourselves. Once our minds are tuned into bad words and believe them, it takes a miracle to change that mindset. This was powerful. Powerful.

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      February 2, 2012 at 5:34 pm

      –LB,
      I love that your’e back.
      I missed you VERY much. Xxx

  • Reply
    Shell
    February 2, 2012 at 4:54 pm

    This is so incredibly heartbreaking.
    Shell recently posted..Blog Conference Prep: Tips from Around the BlogosphereMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      February 2, 2012 at 5:35 pm

      –Shell,
      I know.
      I still find it hard to believe this new reality.

      Xx x

  • Reply
    Kim Pugliano
    February 2, 2012 at 8:08 pm

    Kim~
    That was so intense. Powerful. Amazing. Awful yet beautiful. Horrific.

    Wow.

    xxxxx
    Kim Pugliano recently posted..Comment on WTF Thursday by Kimberly PuglianoMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      February 2, 2012 at 10:10 pm

      –Kim.
      thanks for reading my lamenting, mourning, & weeping…

      xx

  • Reply
    Kelley
    February 3, 2012 at 12:42 am

    She was so young, wasn’t she? When she met him? He spotted his prey when she was so very young. He was obsessive, insecure and jealous of her. He had major problems and Kay felt suffocated. My heart is breaking.
    Kelley recently posted..Finding the Funny: The Race For SleepMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      February 3, 2012 at 6:37 am

      Yes, Kelley,
      My heart aches with the missing, loneliness, darkness….

      I don’t think I shall ever stop missing her…

      Xx

  • Reply
    Beverly Diehl
    February 3, 2012 at 9:07 am

    Darling Kim,

    My heart breaks for you and your sister, and especially, her children. Not only to have their mother stolen from them, but by their own father.

    I write another blog, one about mental illness and recovery issues. At the risk of plugging my own sh-t, I’m going to: http://perfectlyawfulusa.blogspot.com/2011/01/worse-than-slap-in-face.html

    There are many, many kinds of verbal abuse. Some doesn’t even “look” like it: getting the silent treatment. “Joking,” that isn’t. List of behaviors and a video clip about it, in the link above.

    If you don’t feel good about your relationship – maybe it’s not YOU. Maybe there really and truly is something wrong, something you can’t fix if you work harder, try more, are “better” at remembering the things that piss your partner off. Please, educate yourself,and know that you deserve to be treated with kindness, dignity and love.

    It may be too late for Kay, but it’s not too late for you.
    Beverly Diehl recently posted..I’m So Talented… In TheoryMy Profile

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      February 3, 2012 at 10:08 am

      ~~~~Beverly,

      Yes. Promote! by all means…

      My hope is that women reading this blog will use** ALL**of the information possible.

      Too late for Kay….Too damn late…I’m so so so so so sad about that reality.

      ….but not late for many other women reading this…

      Xx thank you for the important info.

  • Reply
    Cathy
    February 3, 2012 at 11:05 am

    Kim,

    I came to your blog because I see your posts on Jann’s Sicily blog and was curious about who The Inner Chick was. and now I am sitting here wiping my tears and wishing I could just hug you, even though I don’t know you. Oh the pain you are feeling for the loss of your sister, the tragic way she was lost to you and your family…. So glad you have your faith, there is no other consolation that I could imagine for you at this moment, there are no words or actions by anyone on earth that could make this better for you. I will keep you in my prayers and ask for the strength you have shown, to be sustained.

    God Bless you and your family,
    Cathy

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      February 3, 2012 at 3:07 pm

      Cathy,
      O, I so adore Jann’s blog….She takes me into another world, another place, a beautiful place….

      I adore that distraction.

      Thank you for visiting & especially for your prayers.

      VERY sweet of you.

      WE NEED LOTS OF PRAYER.

      Love Love Love. Xx

  • Reply
    Phil
    February 3, 2012 at 11:31 am

    Kim,

    I am stunned and deeply moved at your own words that carry a power and source that will never be silenced, never be sated, never be forgotten, until the message is clearly heard and used to slam, crush, and destroy those who would abuse another by any means.

    Well shouted my friend. Blessings to you.

    Phil
    Phil recently posted..Ground Hog Day 2012My Profile

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      February 3, 2012 at 3:00 pm

      —Dear, Phil,
      Thank you for visiting my mourning w/ your lovely words.

      Yes. SLAM, CRUSH, and DESTROY those who would abuse another by any means.

      Yes. NO MORE. NOT one more day will we take THIS ABUSE>

      Love flowing to you, Dear. x
      My Inner Chick recently posted..Words Slam, Crush, DestroyMy Profile

  • Reply
    Adriana Iris
    February 3, 2012 at 11:59 am

    when did it all begin? at the very beginning…
    those words send chills…
    keep preaching my love.
    xoxo
    Adriana Iris recently posted..Gotta Have Faith…My Profile

  • Reply
    Theresa Sonoda
    February 3, 2012 at 12:12 pm

    Thanks for sharing your soul with your raw, honest posts, Kim. You again moved me to tears. You not only inspire me, but you make me feel. That’s a tall order for me sometimes, with my life being kinda tough right now. Love you and your writing. Have a good weekend, my sweet friend! XOXOs
    Theresa Sonoda recently posted..I Feel GooooooodMy Profile

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      February 3, 2012 at 3:02 pm

      Terri,
      I thank you for returning over and over again to my mourning, lamenting, and weeping…

      Thank you for ALL of your support ….You. Are. Special. Love Love Love . XXXxx
      My Inner Chick recently posted..Words Slam, Crush, DestroyMy Profile

  • Reply
    Liz
    February 3, 2012 at 5:27 pm

    I’m so glad to reconnect with you again via my guest post on Ann’s blog. It’s wonderful how you continue to spread this important message. Kay would be proud…
    Liz recently posted..Gorgonzola Apple Quiche~My Profile

    • Reply
      My Inner Chick
      February 3, 2012 at 6:13 pm

      –Liz,
      Nice to hear from you…

      I will never stop spreading the message.

      What else would I do?!

      Loved reconnecting.. X
      My Inner Chick recently posted..Words Slam, Crush, DestroyMy Profile

  • Reply
    Debra Colby-Conklin
    February 3, 2012 at 8:23 pm

    There are no words to express the depth of the pain you must be feeling. I grieve with you and am so sorry for your loss.

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      February 3, 2012 at 9:58 pm

      –Debra,
      Thank you.

      “I grieve with you.”

      What a beautiful thing to say. Xx

  • Reply
    Megan's Cookin'
    February 4, 2012 at 12:22 pm

    Words cut deep and you cant ever take them back. I’m so sorry for your lost.

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      February 4, 2012 at 7:06 pm

      Megan,
      Words cut, hurt, & kill.

      thank you for visiting my mourning page…. xx

  • Reply
    Alexandra
    February 4, 2012 at 10:16 pm

    Your loss is beyond anything I can imagine.

    I adore my sisters. I adore them.

    I am so very, very sorry for this blow to your life.

    From the bottom of my heart….
    Alexandra recently posted..Down To The Last ThreeMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      February 4, 2012 at 10:24 pm

      ——Alexandra,
      I am sorry, too. So so so so very sorry…
      that I must go on living w/out my soul-mate.

      I’ve come to realize that mourning never ends; one must weave the loss & pain into one’s existance somehow….

      Ahh, this is the rub…

      Xxx

  • Reply
    Possum
    February 5, 2012 at 1:24 am

    This is just so tragic. My heart hurts for you.
    Much love and light xxx
    Possum recently posted..roll those rrrrrrr’sMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      February 5, 2012 at 7:53 am

      Possum,
      Yes. Tragic. Utterly Tragic.

      Thanks for visiting my mourning… X

  • Reply
    Sandy Webb
    February 8, 2012 at 8:01 am

    This just makes my heart ache for your entire family. I didn’t not realize she had 3 children. I know your family has embraced them, but what a terrible thing to have to live with your entire life. I am so sorry Kim….there just aren’t words for how I hurt for you. xoxo
    Sandy Webb recently posted..Wednesday’s Recipe – Sour Cream Coffee CakeMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      February 8, 2012 at 8:06 pm

      Dear, Sandy,

      I have come to realize that all one can do is ….

      try to weave the pain & mourning into one’s life…

      You know what I mean, don’t you?

      Xx Love to you.

      • Reply
        Sandy Webb
        February 9, 2012 at 8:10 am

        Kim – I know exactly what you mean and it SUCKS! You should write a post on doing that. So many have no clue what it is like to live with the entanglement of pain and happiness. Hell, I might do a post on this too!

        Love Ya – Sandy xoxo
        Sandy Webb recently posted..These Are the Good Ole DaysMy Profile

        • Reply
          Kim Sisto-Robinson
          February 9, 2012 at 10:43 am

          yes, i shall do this…& you, too !! XX

  • Reply
    Pamela
    February 9, 2012 at 9:24 am

    So true. And I love the power in your words, the power of a crusader, a sister, and a voice that won’t be silenced. Keep shouting, my friend.
    Pamela recently posted..Juice-y news.My Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      February 9, 2012 at 10:43 am

      Pamela,
      I shall shout, scream, cry, & lament FOREVER.

      Xxx Love.

  • Reply
    Maggie at Violence UnSilenced
    February 15, 2012 at 8:09 am

    She was so, so beautiful.

    You honor her.

    Thank you for continuing to speak out.
    Maggie at Violence UnSilenced recently posted..JessicaMy Profile

  • Reply
    My Mother. | The Wicked Stepmonster
    May 20, 2012 at 12:14 am

    […] Someone said that for a stalker murderer who obsessed over his object, “his woman”, his true hell is being without her.  I pray to God that’s true.  I hope he suffers, I hope he burns.  Because it’s hell for me and I’m her daughter.  She was the Epitome. Of. Life to her family and friends.  He was just the guy who wanted to contain that life, control it, and kill it if he couldn’t keep it. […]

  • Reply
    Noeleen
    November 14, 2013 at 1:38 pm

    You expressed this so simply well. It is horrific. It resounds and resounds and resounds.

    I guess it was a sign, him waiting hours for her to get home from other engagements. God, some people need serious help.

    I admire you so much you created this page.

    God bless her forever and ever. And you, holding up so well so long.
    Noeleen recently posted..Jumping just-so highMy Profile

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