The Chick Stands Too Close

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–I’m acquainted with this chick…

 

who is termed ( if you watch Seinfeld ) as a  “close talker.”

 

And although I attempt to reverse while she’s speaking, she
follows me until I

sense the heat of her essence upon my cheek…

 

—smell her last cup of coffee upon her breath…

 

—hear her heartbeat.

 

(((  Thump.  Thump.
Thump… )))

 

I’m not shittin’ you.

 

Did you here what so
and so did?  What a dirty bastard
.”
She whispers.

 

The wee hairs of her eyebrows nearly touch my eyebrows.

 

And I’m thinking,  do
you really need to stand so intimately,
so familiarly, so snugly to tell me that?

 

Do you really need to rub your boobies into the proximity of my boobies?

 

Do you really need to brush your hips into the vicinity of my
hips?

 

If you come any closer, man, we’ll be making out.

 

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

 

The thing is,  I dig
her.  She’s interesting.  She’s amusing.

 

But she has this one itsy bitsy problem.

 

She has NO bubble  ( as we continually tell our students in elementary
school )

 

“This is your bubble,”
We declare.  “This is your personal
space. Be careful about violating
somebody else’s space .”

 

 

Apparently,  she never
received the memo.

 

 

–Dearest Reader,  what
makes you a bit uncomfortable?  Are you acquainted any
close talkers?

pink lips Xxx  Love love love.

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108 comments

  1. Ellen says:

    Ugh. All too familiar.

    In fact, one of the cast members in a show I’m going to be in this Spring lacks a bubble, and I have found myself, in past shows, in the position of literally pushing him and his very married person away from me any time we’re sharing the same relative space.

    Thing is, I’ve reached an age where I’m done being quietly nice about such nonsense. There’s no excuse, in my opinion, for not being aware of that bubble. So, should it happen this time around, there’s going to be more than a gentle push to set him back a couple steps.

    Nonsense, I tell you, Kim. Nonsense! xoxo

    • Kim Sisto-Robinson says:

      —Adventure,
      And I can’t talk to anybody w/ saliva in the corner of their mouths either.

      I shall give you a BIG hug when we meet. Haaa

  2. lafemmeroar says:

    Touchers … if I know you it’s fine, but if we’re merely acquaintances it can be uncomfortable. I can always burst their “bubble” and tell them to stop, but I can’t be that rude … unless I’m feeling pissy, which is rare … so I claim.

    • Kim Sisto-Robinson says:

      —I couldn’t be rude….I just write a freaking blog about it!

      I am a toucher. I love touching.
      Xxxx Sorry.

  3. Janice says:

    LOL Funny read. Had a few of those experiences in my life. Don’t like it. Hate smelling ick breath or their mitts on me uninvited. Unless it’s people I know and care about or little children. Love my little pink bubble, LOL To which you have a standing invitation. Space respect is all it is, good manners where I live :)

  4. totsymae1011 says:

    Interesting, Kim. Funny, too.
    Maybe when you talk to her, you hold your hand straight out in front of you. Just occasionally and she’ll eventually catch the hint. I do hope you both are stocked with breath mints in the meantime. I don’t know, maybe a kiss is coming at some point.

    • Kim Sisto-Robinson says:

      –haaaHaaaa,

      Tots, I back up until I’m in a corner & then I’m stuck, man.

      I hope she doesn’t kiss me, cuz she’s not my type. Wwaaaaa. xxx

  5. Hmm. Is she born and bred American? Bubbles and space are cultural. They’re very small in places like Mexico and Italy and Arab countries and very wide in places like Japan. The Japanese get offended by us, thinking we stand too close to them, and you’ll notice them backing away from Americans. I’m now used to super-close Sicilians, and feel a little sad when returning to the States at how “cold” and “distant” people seem.

    • Kim Sisto-Robinson says:

      Jann,
      Oh, How Interesting! Perhaps I’d like to be inside your bubble.

      I am a toucher & adore people. I talk…and rub people’s arms etc..Haaa

      But do you want to kiss them as your’e talking?

      I Always LOVE your perspective & Culutural views.

      Love Love Love.

    • Lady E says:

      I agree with Jann, personal space is an entirely cultural thing…And I find Americans slightly puzzling on that subject.
      On the one hand, they tend to be over-friendly, nice, and open with people they don’t know, on the other hand it is quite difficult to get past that surface of “niceness” and into real friendship.
      This American friend of mine who lives in France akins Americans to peaches, all warm and fuzzy on the outside, but hard and closed inside, whereas the French tend to be coconuts, all hard and cold on the outside, but mellow and sweet once you’ve broken the shell.
      Ok, you probably didn’t want to know this, but nevermind! 😉
      x

  6. It’s funny because different cultures have different ideas of personal space. In Chinatown, the people push into each other with a smile. In Britain, people don’t touch or get close at all. I used to work with a woman who would actually come and sit on my lap. She rubbed all over everyone she talked to. She was of very petite stature and perhaps thought being 4’11” made it okay. I am 5’5″ and it’s not okay with me.

    • Kim Sisto-Robinson says:

      Linda,
      I am a toucher, too. I rub arms, backs, etc… I am quite tactile.

      but I don’t like somebody standing that close where they are touching my
      boobies. Ya know?

      xxxxxxx KISsssssss

  7. LOL Loved the video! In my past personal experience with bubble-bursters, most of them have also had some wicked halitosis. Yea, I think it comes with the affliction. They had this nasty breath they just had to share.
    Not one, but TWO steps back please. Unless your breath smells fresh. And you plan to buy me breakfast tomorrow morning.
    Ahem……

  8. Irene says:

    People who get way too close when talking and have coffee breath!

    Bleh!

    My kid’s each had a teacher that was like that.

    I don’t know why people are like that.

    May they have a secret crush on you. That or they want a cheap thrill. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW LOL!
    XXOO

    • Kim Sisto-Robinson says:

      Irene,
      I don’t think so…She just like whispering in my ear!!!

      Please send me your email … so I can respond to your last letter, dear. Xx

  9. My bubble is getting bigger. Not certain why, but I am certainly having more trouble with people invading it. Years back I was backed into a corner by some one with no sense of personal space, who pinned me in with an arm on either side of my head. i dropped to my knees and crawled across the floor to get away from hime

    • Kim Sisto-Robinson says:

      O, My,
      the dude who pinned you wasn’t a close talker. He sounds more like a stalker & a sexual harasser.

      WOW. xx

  10. Kim Pugliano says:

    I will actually say to a person, “Woah, personal space there buddy!” followed by a step back and a little chuckle. I don’t like people who over-talk or have always done the same exact thing as me. Boring.

  11. Very funny style of writing here. I remember this episode of Seinfeld.

    That would totally creep me the hell out and since I’ve never been one concerned with diplomacy of any kind, I would most certainly say in the most polite tone I could muster: Back the fuck off… please.

  12. Vidya Sury says:

    :-) So cute! The ones that practically act as though they’re about to make out are the craziest. Some people actually like it though – am assuming this because they don’t seem to move away. I am still giggling over that video. Before I clicked it I didn’t expect what I saw (my dirty mind).

    The worst ones are the ones that shower you when they speak. Yuck! A teacher in school triggered the phrase “Say it, don’t spray it”. So gross.

    Love you, Kim. When I meet you, I am going to stand ree-eeal close, and whisper in your ear 😉 Hehehe!

    • Kim Sisto-Robinson says:

      “Say it, don’t spray it”. haaa.

      Vidya, when I meet you, I shall HUG YOU hard!!

      Love you, too.XXXXXXXXXX

  13. Lady Fi says:

    I do know someone like that… It’s OK usually. I lived in China and no one over there has ever heard of the bubble – which I guess means it is a culture thing – and had people standing too close for many years.

    • Kim Sisto-Robinson says:

      Lady Fi,
      I guess I don’t mind cuz I’m a real toucher when I talk…
      but I don’t like somebody close enough to touch my boobs. ya know?

      Xxx Kiss.
      What is Oscar doing today?

  14. Ann says:

    When I lived in Sicily – the one thing I learned is Italians HAVE NO BUBBLE! It took a while to get used to…I still don’t like it.

    Something that make me uncomfortable is in-your-face rudeness. I freeze. I cannot understand why people are SO rude to each other…especially when it’s children!

  15. Oh my goodness me, YES, I do know just one woman like this and it is most distressing! No matter how much reversing I do or leaning away, she will just keep on coming! Thankfully she doesn’t have halitosis although she is very loud – not that I am particularly quiet but when it is being spat at your right in your face, it is UGLY!
    :-) Mandy

    • Kim Sisto-Robinson says:

      Mandy,
      I can’t help snickering, cuz I can visulize this whole thing.

      I love how you talk: “”most distressing! “””

      Lovely. Xxx

      have a nice Sunday.

  16. Ah yes, the close talker… yeah, I have issues with the boundary stuff but recognize that it has nothing to do with other person. Whatever we experience as negative or uncomfortable is really just a reflection of our own ‘stuff’ – shining the light on the work that remains to be done… I’ll be practising till the end ;-). C’est bien la vie…

  17. Bella says:

    Kim, I’m like you–I want people to stay in their own bubble! Argh! Europeans have no sense of personal space. They invade one’s space, stand so close you feel you should introduce yourself. Just this morning while waiting for in line at the bakery, I could feel this woman breathing down my neck–literally. Ugh! The Significant Other gets irritated when I say, could you move back just a little bit, please. He thinks I’m the romance killer but really, I need my space! :)

  18. Kimberly says:

    You had me at essence.

    I don’t know how you hold on to your vomit.
    If I’m smelling anyone else’s breath in my nose hairs, I’d just…I don’t know what I’d do. Actually I’d take it. Shit.

    Xxoxo and a breath mint…

    • Kim Sisto-Robinson says:

      Kimberly,
      I back up….but I would NEVER say anything, cuz I’m not assertive enough and I would not want to hurt her feelings.

      But seriously, her boobs are touching mine.

      It’s like a freaking Sienfeld episode. Xxxx Kisss

  19. Brenda says:

    I don’t think I ever thought about it. Out of habit I do keep an arm’s distance from people. I suppose if a person was inside my bubble I’d probably back up, but not if it was Gerard Butler or Antonio, even Rhett Butler is welcome to bursting my bubble (my space bubble, Mistress Kim, don’t be thinking dark thoughts now). I am highly sensitive to smells so if a person has a unfavorable odor and is respecting the bubble room I will give said stinky person double bubble space. I’m horrible, forgive me. xoxox

  20. mamawolfe says:

    Close talkers and boob snugglers…not without invitation, please. Johnny Depp…there would be an invitation. Clooney and Pitt…not so much. I need my space bubble too, my friend.

  21. Pure Complex says:

    I am still wondering why people get all up in your personal space. I think some people do it to be a**holes and some do it because they really are unaware of what they are doing. Whatever the reason, I just can’t stand it. Great post

  22. Emily says:

    Oh gosh, yes! I’m always telling my kids about their “personal bubbles,” but lately I’ve started to realize that those lessons aren’t taught all over the world. In some places, personal space is just a memory for me, a dream, a…sigh. :)

    At least she’s interesting though, right? :)

  23. sonsothunder says:

    Whoa…those guys seem to have a little more on their minds than just talking…that’s definitely too close for my comfort…Seems you are in some what of a dilemma; It’s tough to bust someones bubble…when they don’t have one to bust…
    Bless You
    paul

    • Kim Sisto-Robinson says:

      –Good Point, Paul,

      I shall allow her to bust mine….cuz she’s nice and sweet.

      & I’d never hurt somebody’s feelings.

      Love. xx

  24. Could you forward this post to her? No, I know. You don’t want to hurt her feelings. I know how you feel, though. I don’t want anyone in my bubble unless I’m going to make out with them. Boy! It’s been a long time since I’ve invited anyone into my bubble. Maybe one day.

  25. Ameena says:

    So it’s not just me who finds this bothersome? Seriously, I know a few people who talk right in front of my face and even though I take steps backwards they just follow me! It’s very strange. Do they not understand social cues? Or are we just…picky?

    Great post. :)

  26. Heather says:

    Ahhhh! I can’t stand it when people don’t respect the bubble. And I am baffled at those who don’t even take notice that they are invading someone’s personal space. Clearly these people don’t have have spacial recognition issues.

  27. Caroline says:

    Kim, I had no idea you were an elementary school teacher! What grade? My aunt and a few of my best friends teach elementary. Lots of work!! I actually can’t think of any friends who are close talkers (thankfully), it does make me a bit uncomfortable. I remember doing an exercise in a communications class back in college and we tested the distances from close to far, etc. Most everyone was uncomfortable at the ‘close talker’ distance haha.

  28. Adriana Iris says:

    8th grade history teacher would stand close and spit when talking…
    his saliva would always reach me…
    I opened an umbrella while he was talking to me…
    9th grade I was in public school…

  29. Tara says:

    Dang girl, you’ve got a lot of followers! It took me forever to scroll down to this comment box!

    Yes, I totally get the “bubble.” I think it’s a cultural thing, or more specifically, a “Western culture thing.” Spanish cultures are all about getting up in each other’s Kool-Aid. I went to a Spanish mass the other day (missed the English-speaking one), and even though there was a totally empty pew in front of us, this family of about 8 squeezed in and damn near pushed me into the aisle! They had no problemo with it, but man, I was mad!

    Maybe God’s trying to teach me patience.

    Then there was this time at Walmart. I was standing at the checkout, when I feel this hot breath down my neck. I turn around, and this teenager is literally an inch away from me! I let my eyes do the talking, and he apologized and backed up. I felt bad, but at the same time, I don’t know what he’s up to! He could be a trained pick-pocketer. At any rate, I don’t trust teenagers nowadays. :)

    Anyhoo, good post. One more thing, I need your email. I accidentally deleted it while cleaning out my address book, and I’m no longer on Facebook (had to detox, if ya catch my drift).

    Love,
    Tara

  30. Shell says:

    I once tripped over a chair b/c of a close talker. I kept backing up and he kept moving forward… and I didn’t notice the chair behind me… OMG.

  31. Bridget says:

    Close talkers bother me. Worse when they are too much talkers. You know, those people who can’t read the clues that the conversation is finito? Ugh, they’re the worst.

  32. Charlotte says:

    I have a HUGE problem with close talkers myself. I just cringe when they invade my bubble space. Maybe you should start wearing your smelliest perfume the next time you see her approach :)

  33. LBDDiaries says:

    LOOOOOOVED that video. What makes me uncomfortable? People who try to make you feel guilty because you won’t do what they want you to do. I have learned NOT to allow them to do that to me, but when they start I want to roll my eyes and say, “Oh great, here we go again. Another manipulator.”

    I have learned to put my hand on someone’s shoulder or chest and say, “You’re standing too close and it bothers me” because I am NOT putting up with that anymore. The last close talker who got so into my face we could have been Siamese twins? Some dude at church who had a near-death experience. He didn’t know he was near death but I did. I saw Alpha Hubby’s face behind him.

  34. I’ve had a few of those – ugh!

    I love being touched, held, nuzzled – by a LOVER, pet, or child. Hugs from friends. Other peeps, it’s more like Dirty Dancing – this is MY dance space, this is YOUR dance space. Bubble up, people!

    • Kim Sisto-Robinson says:

      Haaaa.

      Bev, I’m a “toucher” too…..

      I suppose some people might be uncomfortable w/ that.

      What a hypocrite I am…

      Xxx Love

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