Remember when I was the strong one in the
family, the dominant one, the one who could survive anything?
I was the one who left home at nineteen for
life on Carnival—life in Miami—life of sin.
I was untroubled, single, joyful.
I was immortal.
You were already with him then.
You were already strapped down
like a woman in bondage, like a lion in a cage.
You already had a baby on the
You were already drinking &
I knew you’d never bloom with him….I knew
your petals would remain tightly closed with him.
I knew what I knew.
Yet, what could I do?
Somehow, he always made you stay.
Somehow, he always broke you down, broke you down, brought you to your knees.
Saying you were nothing without him, less
without him, small without him
Didn’t you know?
You. Were. Everything.
He belittled you with his toxic tongue.
He manipulated you with his promises.
He was nothing.
Didn’t you know?
I was the one who sensed your depressions
Even thru the miles that separated us.
We were one person from the same womb.
The same blood.
The same childhood.
The tree of the tree, the root of
You told me every secret, every nightmare,
“I wish he’d just die. I wish he’d just leave me alone. I
wish he’d just……”
He never did. He never fucking
My heart is heavy.
I carry it around all day long,
all night long,
inside my dreams.
I’ve learned I’m not the strong
I’ve learned surviving takes
everything. you. have.
I’ve learned that once the roots are born…
They never diminish.
Kim & Kay.
My sister, Kay, was murdered by Mike Peterson 587 days ago. Everything changed. The light shines differently now. Much differently now.
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