In Memory of Kay


~~~The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference. The opposite of art is not ugliness, it’s indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it’s indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it’s indifference.”—Elie Wiesel


Dear, Readers,  is there a time when you stood back when you should have stood up?   Is there a time when you should have taken action, but you were silent?  I’m sorry to say that I was silent.  I’m so very sorry, Kay.  So fucking sorry.


For support and more information please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or at TTY 1-800-787-3224.

                         Click here NOW.  Do. Not.  Wait. One. More. Minute.  >>

      In Memory of Kay

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  • Reply
    nan @ LBDDiaries
    November 17, 2011 at 5:41 pm

    Amen, my sister, amen. Because of my past, I am mouthy. I always get involved. Sometimes got in trouble for it. Sometimes lose a friend over it. Denial is a powerful weapon that can be used against someone. When she denies, he has the weapon.
    nan @ LBDDiaries recently posted..Dance With MeMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      November 18, 2011 at 6:31 am

      –I looooooooove my mouthy Nan!! xxx

    • Reply
      michelle canan
      November 19, 2011 at 2:26 pm

      always in my heart dearest Kay…always will love you and your beautiful smile and the way you always cared for others

      • Reply
        Kim Sisto-Robinson
        November 19, 2011 at 2:55 pm

        thank you.

        –always missed. never forgotten. Xx

  • Reply
    November 17, 2011 at 5:41 pm

    I sense you’re having a tougher time than I thought previously.
    So sorry you’re suffering and living with this.

    Abundant hugs and blessings to you, Kim.
    totsymae1011 recently posted..Character Sketch No. 3: The Phone CallMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      November 18, 2011 at 6:34 am


      This is my online journal of emotion & truth.

      I am learning to live w/ out Kay….But It sucks.

      Thanks for the hugs….and love to you.

  • Reply
    Renee Fisher
    November 17, 2011 at 5:47 pm

    I can’t tell you to put aside your guilt. But I can tell you that your actions now are saving lives. Kay can’t come back. But others won’t leave, because of you.
    Renee Fisher recently posted..You Can’t Be 100 Without Being 99 FirstMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      November 18, 2011 at 6:35 am


      It is not so much guilt….

      it is more “I wish I knew then what I know now.”

      But I shall scream this out to other women!!! X

  • Reply
    Linda Medrano
    November 17, 2011 at 5:48 pm

    I go overboard “getting involved”, I’ve been told. I had a party many years ago. A girl I knew came with her boyfriend. She was Asian and very tiny and he was a big white guy. The girl drank way too much and I had her go in my bedroom to sleep it off for a while. When I went back in to check on her a little bit later, I could get her to respond at all. I called 911. When I was looking at her, the sleeves on her blouse moved up and she had terrible bruising on both arms. Her boyfriend was furious that I had called 911. As soon as the ambulance and police arrived, I told them I couldn’t wake her and that I was afraid she might be being abused by her boyfriend. He denied it of course, and she later said “Oh that’s nothing! I just bruise easily.” Whatever. I’m not inclined to “mind my own business”. I really didn’t care that people were mad about me calling for help. Maybe I over-reacted, but honestly, I still believe it was an abusive situation.

    We do what we can, when we can. Don’t blame yourself. It’s not your fault that a man is insane.
    Linda Medrano recently posted..Delirious, Demented, Or DaffyMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      November 18, 2011 at 6:36 am

      Brava! Bravo, Linda.

      I wish I would have “over-reacted.”

      X Kiss

  • Reply
    November 17, 2011 at 5:55 pm

    So true!

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      November 18, 2011 at 6:37 am


      I wish things would have been different….I wish we would have done something the week before…

      Love you.

  • Reply
    November 17, 2011 at 6:02 pm

    Hi Kim…

    You’re right – indifference is the worst. Hindsight is 20/20 and I’m sure you wish you could go back – and you cant. However, you are helping and doing so many positive things now that I KNOW Kay would be proud.

    Much love to you~
    Ann recently posted..Pepper Chicken With HummusMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      November 18, 2011 at 6:38 am

      —Yes…. I shall scream Kay’s story..

      but this is not enough..

      Xx Love to you, sweet Ann.

  • Reply
    November 17, 2011 at 6:19 pm

    I agree. Indifference is dangerous. I’m glad you’re standing up and speaking out now; I’m certain you’re making a difference.

    Thinking of you.
    Emily recently posted..Nice Boys, Ninjas, and The Case Against Famous MenMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      November 18, 2011 at 6:38 am

      Indifference KILLS. This is very true.

      Thank you for your support. X

  • Reply
    November 17, 2011 at 6:32 pm

    Thank you, Kim. Sometimes we don’t see what’s really going on before our very eyes. Abusers can be good at hiding it. The abused can be good at hiding it. And sometimes things happen unexpectadly that no one could have stopped. Our sisters were strong women but when there’s a gun, it’s almost impossible to stop the worst from happening. That’s why I am writing my blog. And you are writing your blog to make people aware of domestic abuse. Between us we are reaching a lot of people. Let’s hope it will help someone else. Meanwhile, writing is helping both of us deal with our hurt over losing our beautiful sisters. Keep writing.
    Joan recently posted..Fix our background check systemMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      November 18, 2011 at 6:39 am


      You Inspire me. You help me to be better.

      Love to you. Xxx

  • Reply
    Katy Clark
    November 17, 2011 at 6:34 pm

    Indifference is, indeed, a bad thing. People have many reasons for not speaking up, and fear (either for themselves or fear of making a situation worse for their loved one) can make one remain silent. Of that, I am also guilty. But it wasn’t because I was indifferent – I was frightened.

    I am so sorry you have had to endure the loss of your beautiful sister. Thank you for not keeping silent. Thank you.
    Katy Clark recently posted..More WordPress Buttons I’d Like to SeeMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      November 18, 2011 at 6:40 am


      i understand. Indifference is much worse than Fear.

      I will NEVER keep silent.


  • Reply
    November 17, 2011 at 6:43 pm

    You are making a difference! You are such an amazing woman, friend, mother, daughter, and sister! Please do not blame yourself, Kay knew you were there for whatever she ever needed. I know my parents blamed themselves for not being able to keep me safe from an abusive boyfriend in college and it breaks my heart that they took on that burden. You are one of the most amazing people I know and I am a better person for knowing you! Thank you for your friendship and the knowledge about domestic violence! Your words are so powerful. Love you 🙂

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      November 18, 2011 at 6:42 am


      —-I add you to my list of angels.

      So glad to meet you at this time of my life.

      You make people glad they are in a room…

      Love you, 2. Xx

  • Reply
    Alison@Mama Wants This
    November 17, 2011 at 7:23 pm

    An important and powerful message, Kim. You’re helping many.

    Much love to you. xo
    Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..Literally, MomMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      November 18, 2011 at 6:42 am

      –Dear, Alison,

      I hope somebody is LISTENING )))))

      Hearing. Leaving…

      Xxx Love to you.

  • Reply
    Pat Scattergood
    November 17, 2011 at 7:57 pm

    It. Is. Not. Your. Fault.

    I send you hugs.

    Pat Scattergood recently posted..Imago therapy according to Pat.My Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      November 18, 2011 at 6:43 am


      I feel your hugs flowing into Minnesota..

      Thank you. xxx

  • Reply
    Vidya Sury
    November 17, 2011 at 8:37 pm

    Don’t blame yourself, Kim. Sometimes, things are just out of control. You could not have engineered that murderer’s actions or thoughts. Regrets always flood in, in retrospect. That’s why they say hindsight is 20/20.

    You are NOT to blame.

    Hugs and kisses.
    Vidya Sury recently posted..I ‘m not Twenty FourMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      November 18, 2011 at 6:44 am


      I know this…. but it is human nature, I suppose.

      I just want my sister back.

      You understand, don’t you?

      Have a good weekend, Dear. Xx

  • Reply
    November 17, 2011 at 8:38 pm

    Totsy’s right. I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. That was a very powerful ad. Thank you for sharing it. Take good care of your self, Kim. We appreciate what you’re doing to help others.
    Monica recently posted..The Road Taken: Girl on the RunMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      November 18, 2011 at 6:45 am


      Thank you (as always) for you kind words of support.

      Xx Love to you.

  • Reply
    November 17, 2011 at 9:05 pm

    That’s a huge burden to carry on your own. You have to remember, we all make our own decisions. Can you be certain she would have listened? You’ll never know, sweet Kim. Write her poetry, write a story of love and beauty, make sure her voice carries on through the beauty.
    Brenda recently posted..Just ImagineMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      November 18, 2011 at 6:45 am


      I shall.

      What else can one do?

      Xx Kisses.

  • Reply
    November 17, 2011 at 9:54 pm

    Love Ellie Wiesel and you too xoxo

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      November 18, 2011 at 6:47 am


      Wiesel has inspired me for many years.

      He is one of my great heroes…right next to Mandela & Daddy.

      Love you, too.

      See you next week, dear. Xxx

  • Reply
    Russell Mazonde
    November 17, 2011 at 10:18 pm

    Dont ever carry a burden alone because there are people here who will lift it with you.

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      November 18, 2011 at 6:47 am


      So true.

      Thank you for you nice words, dear. Xx

  • Reply
    Rachel (Totally Ovar It)
    November 17, 2011 at 10:45 pm

    I am a bitch in heels. I have great difficulty letting anything go. But please know THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT, my new, lovely friend. I am looking forward to reading more and more. Take best care.
    Rachel (Totally Ovar It) recently posted..Ice MakerMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      November 18, 2011 at 6:48 am


      Thank you for reading…

      Have a nice weekend. Xx

  • Reply
    November 18, 2011 at 12:24 am

    What an important message and I love the video too. I know you cannot turn back time but you are helping to spread the message in memory of Kay. That certainly is NOT being indifferent. Kay will be proud. xoxo
    Kiddothings recently posted..Tipsy Friend – Leslie of Time Out For MomMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      November 18, 2011 at 6:50 am


      I shall scream her story forever …
      Can’t you tell from my blog?

      Same stories. Same mourning….

      Always. Always. Forever.


  • Reply
    Mandy - The Complete Cook Book
    November 18, 2011 at 12:45 am

    Have a beautiful love filled and peaceful weekend Kim.
    😉 Mandy xo
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    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      November 18, 2011 at 6:51 am


      ———you have a good weekend,too.

      Cook/ Bake LOTS. Xxxx

  • Reply
    Lorraine @ Not Quite Nigella
    November 18, 2011 at 2:20 am

    Very true Kim, we need to shout about this topic because it’s one worth shouting about! xxx
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    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      November 18, 2011 at 6:52 am

      yes it is…

      NOBODY deserves to be “abused” in ANY way.

      EVER. EVER.

      Love to you Down Under… X

  • Reply
    November 18, 2011 at 4:33 am

    That is very well worth saying and a brilliant quote. I watched the video and wondered what was going on till the guy knocked on the other door while holding a baseball bat. Makes your stomach churn to see it
    countingducks recently posted..Journey to Another TimeMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      November 18, 2011 at 6:53 am


      the first time I saw this video, I cried.

      Powerful messege for all of us.

  • Reply
    November 18, 2011 at 5:08 am

    What a great message! I found myself saying “YES! YES! IT’S THE INDIFFERENCE!” Brilliant.
    Thank you for sharing.
    Lola recently posted..Facebook is Making Me “Unlike” My FriendsMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      November 18, 2011 at 6:54 am


      When I watched the video::

      I was like…. “”YEAH, he’s going to do something about it! Yeah, baby…””

      —but he never did.

      It really pissed me off…but also made me look at myself.

      Xx Kiss

  • Reply
    Tere Anne
    November 18, 2011 at 6:36 am

    I am one who can go either way – I can either be totally outspoken or totally silent.
    I know that my mom wishes I would keep quiet because I tend to get very headstrong.
    The only problem is… either way, we always wish we would have done something more… or something different.
    Tere Anne recently posted..God is watchingMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      November 18, 2011 at 6:56 am

      –Tere Anne,

      I will always speak up now.

      For Kay.

      Scream what she could not scream…

      Yes. Always.

      XX Kiss for you.

  • Reply
    Jann Huizenga
    November 18, 2011 at 6:54 am

    Kim, you are such a sweetheart!! And so brave to broadcast your powerful message. Big hugs,jann
    Jann Huizenga recently posted..Looking Skyward in SicilyMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      November 18, 2011 at 6:57 am


      I feel weak. Quite weak and helpless…

      Yet at the same time, I feel abudantly strong about shouting Kay’s story.

      Xx Kiss for you in Italy.

  • Reply
    giant twist comfort cs
    November 18, 2011 at 7:28 am

    … [Trackback]…

    […] There you will find more Infos: […]…

  • Reply
    November 18, 2011 at 7:53 am


    I am pretty sure all of us can recall times in our lives where we stepped back and remained silent when we should have stepped up and interceded. It’s more prevalent than I’d like to admit it is in most of us. However, I can honestly say that reading your words, feeling your pain, and bearing witness to the worst of the worst consequences this kind of silence has caused to you and your family, that I am quite changed of opinion on never allowing myself to remain indifferent ever again in my own life. Your words have changed me for the better. I am certain your words have changed many others for the better too.

    I realize it is of little consolation to you as you continue this journey, but I do wish to let you know that you have managed to touch others and may have indeed saved others. God bless you for that Kim.

    Hugs and comfort to you.

    Phil recently posted..Sacred Music – Ethereal and SublimeMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      November 18, 2011 at 12:12 pm

      —Dear, Phil,
      your heartfelt words have filled me up today.

      Thank You.

      Thank you for your kindness & great compassion. Xxx

  • Reply
    November 18, 2011 at 10:44 am

    That is a harsh truth, but a truth nevertheless. Great quote. The video gave me the shivers.
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    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      November 18, 2011 at 12:13 pm


      Love love love Elie Wiesel.

      He has continually inspired me. Xxx

  • Reply
    November 18, 2011 at 11:53 am

    Thanks for sharing this and for your fight against domestic violence.
    Bridget recently posted..The Slippery Slope Of MotherhoodMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      November 18, 2011 at 12:16 pm


      I feel so small & insignificant.

      ……but my prayer is that women– HEAR. LISTEN. LEAVE

      & Break their Silence…

      before it’s too late for them. xx

  • Reply
    Barbara @ Barbara Bakes
    November 18, 2011 at 12:11 pm

    I’ve often heard the opposite of love is fear. Do we not step in and help because of fear of doing the wrong thing, or are we just indifferent?
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    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      November 18, 2011 at 12:18 pm


      Two VERY different definitions….

      To me, “Indifference” is not caring one way or another.

      Fear is FEAR.

      And also…Silence is different.

      I shall NEVER be silent again…

      We must all SCREAM out: NO MORE!


  • Reply
    Lawyer Loves Lunch
    November 18, 2011 at 4:03 pm

    Thanks for stopping by my blog so I could discover yours! And I agree with the comment above, thank you for speaking out against domestic violence.

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      November 18, 2011 at 4:25 pm

      –Dear, L.L.L.

      Thanks for visiting 🙂

  • Reply
    November 18, 2011 at 4:52 pm

    wow great post girl!…indifference is the worst and so is silence!

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      November 18, 2011 at 5:56 pm


      yes, so very true.

      thanks for popping over….

  • Reply
    Impulsive Addict
    November 18, 2011 at 5:18 pm

    You have to be there number one spokes person. I hope they know about you. Your sister is safe now. And I bet she loves that you’re speaking out on her behalf. You’ve got great blogging friends. I love reading the comments.

    Impulsive Addict recently posted..S is for Skiing.My Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      November 18, 2011 at 5:57 pm


      Love when you stop by. thank you. xx

  • Reply
    November 18, 2011 at 5:59 pm

    Wow! So moving. Indifference is the enemy of progress. Continue talking

    Luv u

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      November 18, 2011 at 6:03 pm

      –Love you more than tigers bathing in the Kenyan Sun.

  • Reply
    November 18, 2011 at 7:50 pm

    You sister would be so proud of all that you’re doing to spread such an important message. In fact I would be honored if you’d like to share your story on my blog for Welcome Wednesday. The more people you can reach with your story, the better! If you’re interested, please send me an email.


    P.S. Thank you for linking up to the Getting to Know You Friday Blog Hop!
    lisa recently posted..Fiction: Tough LoveMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      November 19, 2011 at 7:22 am


      Yes, I shall share Kay’s story.

      Just tell me whay you want me to do.


  • Reply
    Unknown Mami
    November 18, 2011 at 11:10 pm

    It really is not your fault. I know you know that, but it really is not your fault. It is his fault.
    Unknown Mami recently posted..After the EarthquakeMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      November 19, 2011 at 7:24 am

      –Yes, Mami,

      I know this.

      …But now I can tell other woman to GET OUT! DO not stay…Do not put up w/ any sort of abuse: Verbal, Sexual, Financial, Physical..

      ….because most people NEVER change.

      He (the monster) never changed…


  • Reply
    November 19, 2011 at 12:47 am

    Oh boy. Does indifference ever kill. On any important matter that people stay silent about. You shout, Crazy Chick, I am already shouting as loud as I can right beside you 🙂 We will not shutup. We. Will. NOT. Hope Lady Gaga lends her voice soon 🙂
    aurora recently posted..Plagiarism or Perfection of Voice?My Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      November 19, 2011 at 7:26 am


      you must have seen my tweet.

      I’ve been asking Gaga for a while now…as she has about 18 million followers.

      Indifference Kills.

      As my African pen pal says: It’s a murderer & it stops one from living fully…


  • Reply
    November 19, 2011 at 12:55 am

    And I agree with Mami. Please don’t blame yourself ever. I wrote a 5000 word article about domestic violence for a Corrections publication in the 90’s and one of the things that always, and still, strikes me is how quick we are to blame ourselves just as many in society blame the victim for staying. As I said then in the piece, whose arm is attached to the fist and instead of why doesn’t she leave, why aren’t people asking, “why doesn’t he stop?” Your gift to your angel sister is your love that is going on forever in all you do to prevent this from happening to others. You rock 🙂
    aurora recently posted..Plagiarism or Perfection of Voice?My Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      November 19, 2011 at 7:28 am

      –Dear, A,

      nobody has asked me why she stayed…

      they wouldn’t dare…

      … but I have all of that on my “Domestic Violence” Page.

      Thanks for your words. thanks for not being silent.

  • Reply
    November 19, 2011 at 4:11 am

    Isuporrt is the new slogan. I’ll try my best to spread the word about it . !
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  • Reply
    November 19, 2011 at 8:29 am

    Yea, you bet! No more silence. And what for?? At the cost of what?? The men who don’t even see the worth of their women?? Speak up, shout, rant!! Make him go deaf in the ears with your scream against his piggishness! (is that even a word? But you get my point!)

    Speak up!

    Thanks for this constant reminder. I chose to speak up. No more silence!
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    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      November 19, 2011 at 8:33 am

      –Warm Sunshine,

      I love your passion, your un-silence, and mostly, your new word– “piggishness.”

      Scream! Never be Silent! Stand Up! Speak Out! xx

  • Reply
    Lady Fi
    November 19, 2011 at 10:57 am

    You’re standing up now – loud and clear and beautiful.
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  • Reply
    November 19, 2011 at 12:31 pm

    Being silent is the worst. i prefer to stand out and say what I think, even at the risk of loosing people.

    The echo of your pain is saving women every minute.
    I know you will always live with the thought that maybe you could have done things differently, maybe you could have saved Kay………..I don’t have words to ease your suffering Kim, I can only keep you an your loved ones in my prayers and send you much love.

    Don’t stop the battle.
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    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      November 19, 2011 at 2:51 pm

      I appreciate your support & UN-Silence!


  • Reply
    November 19, 2011 at 3:08 pm

    Kim, I guess we all feel guilty of what happened to Kay, but you are doing something about it, helping
    others not to be silent, but to yell their lungs out. (Get Out,Get Out, Get Out).
    Love You

  • Reply
    Yvonne Salvatierra
    November 19, 2011 at 11:21 pm

    So powerful! I am not one to look the other way when I see something horrible happening. Because of this, I have gotten in trouble more times than naught. But still, I would do it over in a heartbeat if it meant someone was safe.
    Yvonne Salvatierra recently posted..If Only In A DreamMy Profile

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      November 20, 2011 at 9:48 am

      –Amen, Sister. x

  • Reply
    November 20, 2011 at 9:08 am

    It is not your fault… I hope you know that… But, I also know you are helping so many people..
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    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      November 20, 2011 at 9:49 am

      that is my prayer… Xx

  • Reply
    Kristy @PampersandPinot
    November 20, 2011 at 1:58 pm

    I love the Elie quote. Very powerful post.
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    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      November 20, 2011 at 3:29 pm

      –I agree, Kristy.

      He is one of my heroes 🙂 x

  • Reply
    November 20, 2011 at 2:02 pm

    Kim, truly you must know how you serve to inspire. How you create awareness and above all, provide a much needed wake up call to women who may be or know of other women in abusive circumstances. Your efforts to spread the word of what happened to Kay serve to make women sit up and take notice that this could happen to them. Together, you and Kay are helping other women who could find themselves in dangerous circumstances. Together, you are spreading the word that silence kills. Together. You and her. What a team, you are, ladies, what a team! Hugs and kisses to you!

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      November 20, 2011 at 3:30 pm

      I always brace myself for your comments…

      because you move me so…

      Love Love Love. Xx

  • Reply
    November 23, 2011 at 10:06 am

    I understand how you feel completely…having been at the receiving end of domestic violence. I write about it as often as possible…it is important for people to understand that they are not alone.

    Peace and Blessings to you,


    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      November 23, 2011 at 2:59 pm

      –Thank you.

      My sister’s husband murdered her.

      I shall never feel peace over this until we meet once again…

      So glad you are writing about this.


  • Reply
    November 23, 2011 at 3:12 pm

    That ad could not have put it any more plainly. Keep using your voice, Kim.
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