——-I Love Blogging About YOU!
—Do you know what the opposite of bloggable is?
If I’m not blogging about you, well, in all probability, you’re as boring as a limp dick.
I’m never at a loss of material for my blogs.
In fact, I’m overloaded.
I’m drowning with things I can bitch about.
I’m over-flowing with words, ideas, opinions (oh, yeah, babe, I’m quite opinionated)
Just ask Mr. Liverpool.
He calls me “The Pit-Bull,” but we’ll not get into that now.
Anyway, my own family provides me with plenty of substance & comedy for my blog posts.
In other words, they’re exceptionally bloggable.
For instance, Saint Shirley.
She gets herself into VERY peculiar situations.
And not by any fault of her own. She just happens to be there when the circumstances are occurring.
Kind of like one of those accidents waiting to happen.
Thus, my blog begins developing.
Sooo, Saint Shirley was at Kmart last week buying her shampoo, conditioner, hair dye and such.
When she gets outside, this dude is standing by her little green her car with his hands on his hips.
“Hi!” Saint Shirley says. “How are you enjoying the 90 degree weather?”
“Excuuuuse me, Ma’am, but what the hell were you doing in that store when you have a cat in the car?”
“You have a cat in the car. It’s almost 100 degrees. Are you an idiot or just an animal hater?”
“It’s not Real. It’s Stuffed.”
“ I am so sick of ignorant people treating their pets like this. I should call the damn police.”
Daggers shoot from his eyes. Fire bursts from his mouth. Apparently, he loooves pussies.
“IT”S NOT REEEEAL.” She drags out the eeeeeeeeeee.
Saint Shirley may be a Saint, but she’s getting pissed.
“Well, now it’s fucking dead!” He shouts. “Are you happy?”
Saint Shirley inhales….exhales.
She opens the car door…..Snatches the stuffed white cat and shows him.
“Seeeee! It’s Alive!”
—Sweet Reader, who inspires you? Who is your muse? Does your family have blogability?