Kim's Blogs

Back To Black


Janis JoplinJanis
—-I’ve continually gravitated toward the naughty girls.

Well, not actually naughty, but perhaps unconventional. Yeah, that’s the correct word.

In high school,  I was one of those chicks that you’d find hanging out in the parking lot smoking Marlboros, cutting class,  & yes,  smoking a bit of weed.

(Andrew & Alex,  if you’re reading this….Don’t Judge Me.)

I wrote poetry.

I read Plath & Jong.

I wore melted black Madonna eyeliner and VERY big hair.

                  Madonna 80s Fashion IconMadonna

If I were in school now, I’d most likely be considered a little Gothy. 

I never fit in.

I never belonged.

Yeah,  I’d definitely be walking around the halls of Denfeld with dark lipstick & charcoal black hair.

That’s probably why I have great compassion & empathy for the peculiar, weird, odd, forgotten, and unusual. 

For the addicted, depressed, & the lost.

For the misplaced souls.

So when somebody like Gaga comes along, I recognize her weirdness,  her wildness, her nonconformity,  and mostly, her gift of reaching out to the other eccentrics trying to find their places in the world.

                              Lady Gaga, American singer-songwriterGaga

 

When Amy Winehouse erupted on the scene with her long cigarettes, fantastically bluesy tone,  inflated hair, and 60s leopard liner, I understood.

                                    Winehouse

I identified.

I was like,  Oh, I love this strange woman!”

Another oddball I could relate to.

But then the heroine.

Then the compulsion.

The needles.  The alcohol.  The devil.

There is NEVER room for the Devil.

The world was not enough.  The art was not enough.

And I’m so damn  sorry about that.

I want to fix the world.

I can’t

I am so utterly, unbelievably flawed.

 I recognize imperfection & limitations.

    And Lonliness.

That’ s why I’m writing this blog.


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54 Comments

  • Reply
    Vidya Sury, Freelance Writer & Blogger
    July 24, 2011 at 9:35 am

    Janis rocks.
    So does Joan Jett.
    This is nudging MY inner chick now.

    Hugs to you. What a lovely tribute!

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      July 24, 2011 at 9:41 am

      You Rock, Vidya. 🙂
      Love Jett.

  • Reply
    Irene
    July 24, 2011 at 9:46 am

    Honestly, I don’t like Janis Joplin.
    I love Madonna though. She’s gutsy.
    I also like Lady Gaga. Another gutsy woman.
    I didn’t particularly care for Amy’s style of singing. I’m not a blues/jazz lover. Her’s is a sad story. She could have been SO much more if she could clean up her act.

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      July 24, 2011 at 10:08 am

      –Irene,
      Winehouse had so much, Yet nothing at all.
      What a sad story.
      & How can’t you like Joplin? What a wild woman she was. xxx

  • Reply
    mercy
    July 24, 2011 at 10:03 am

    love you like a white tiny cat.

    Xxxo

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      July 24, 2011 at 10:08 am

      Love you like a leopard. 🙂 My Kenyan Queen.

  • Reply
    elizabeth
    July 24, 2011 at 10:09 am

    good girls go to heaven – bad girls go everywhere. I want to go everywhere. all of these women are very talented – some didn’t really know it and their fragile souls lost out on their fight to be themselves.

    Amy – RIP.

    • Reply
      kim sisto robinson
      July 24, 2011 at 10:23 am

      ———-I knew you’d understand, Elizabeth.
      That’s why I love ya. xx

  • Reply
    Ann
    July 24, 2011 at 10:11 am

    I was so sad to hear about Amy Winehouse…. I’ve always been the invisible kid in school. Nomt a nerd, not popular, not a rebel. A bit of a conformist, but I’m okay with that….I like who I am.

  • Reply
    Theresa Sonoda
    July 24, 2011 at 10:14 am

    Oh my lovely Kim, i can so relate to this post! Being one of those misfit women for most, if not all, of my life, I identify. Even with the young ones. I understand their need for expressionism. I understand lonely beyond tears. I don’t understand abusing your body to death, though……but I haven’t walked in these people’s shoes, so I don’t judge. My heart hurt when I heard about the ending of this young woman’s life.
    In high school, you were the one in the parking lot, smoking weed. I was the hippie in the parking lot, taking off in my car, getting high and skipping the afternoon classes. I am not saying I’m proud of that, but it’s part of who I am. A Rebel.
    That’s one reason you and I click. Rebels. Friends.
    Love you friend!
    Terri
    xoxoxxx

    • Reply
      kim sisto robinson
      July 24, 2011 at 10:26 am

      –I have no regrets.
      I am who I am now because of it.
      I love God. But I do not Conform.
      My kids laugh at me.
      Just wait until they read this blog!! ha ha
      Love you, too….My hippieFriend! 🙂

  • Reply
    Renee CK
    July 24, 2011 at 10:45 am

    I knew you’d have the words to speak to Amy’s death that would be so much better than any I could use considering my ignorance about the body of her work. I still contend that GaGa is unoriginal and Madonna is the original, but even in her need for acceptance via the outlandish, she is a misfit and therefore a treasure for you.

    I know that when we cross over the river, Amy, Janis, and probably Madonna (by then) will be there waiting for us playing to a packed house of misfits including Sylvia and Anne. If you get there before me, don’t try to contact me, okay? It’ll just freak me out even more. 😉

    xo to the umpteeth degree
    CK

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      July 24, 2011 at 11:14 am

      —Renee,
      You recognize the s0-called-Stangeness. Don’t you?
      This is why we both appreciate Plath so much. & Sexton.
      My heart fills up for these tragic Creatures.
      Perhaps, because I am one. (Minus the substances.)
      When I get to the other side…I shall not call you.
      I will wait. And we shall recite poetry together w/ Sylvia.
      Luv U.

  • Reply
    Classic NYer
    July 24, 2011 at 11:16 am

    This is a gorgeous tribute. Amy was a kindred soul for me as well…

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      July 24, 2011 at 11:19 am

      I feel so much for the tragic creatures past & present.
      I loved Amy.
      Too bad she couldn’t have been saved.
      xx Kiss NY.

  • Reply
    Lady Fi
    July 24, 2011 at 11:52 am

    I hated school and never conformed either.

    We rock!

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      July 24, 2011 at 12:25 pm

      You most definitely rock, Lady Fi. xx

  • Reply
    Katherine
    July 24, 2011 at 12:44 pm

    Amazing post, I love the uniqueness of each artist you talked about. I was so sad about Amy’s passing even though she joined a great but tragic club, the 27 club.

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      July 24, 2011 at 3:01 pm

      —Katherine,
      I know: Hendrix, Joplin, Morrison…How utterly ironic and oh-so-sad.
      Thank for popping by. xx

  • Reply
    Lola
    July 24, 2011 at 2:07 pm

    Wow! I love love love your blog! And at the same time I’m so very sorry for your loss. You are an amazing champion for women everywhere! Keep on rockin! I’ll be back regularly!

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      July 24, 2011 at 3:02 pm

      Loooola, What a great name.
      Thanks for stopping by my strange world.
      I loved that you visited!
      Love. Peace. Xx

  • Reply
    Totsymae
    July 24, 2011 at 4:17 pm

    I completely identify with you, Kim. I’ve always been a misfit myself. In part, because I have a low tolerance for BS. I love and embrace my oddities now. My attitude now is, ‘This is it.’ I love Lady Gaga, Madonna and the others you named. Loved Amy Winehouse’s video. What a talent gone way too soon.

  • Reply
    kim sisto robinson
    July 24, 2011 at 4:56 pm

    –I had a feeling you would, Tots.
    I’ve always loved the misfits.
    They are the poets, great writers, and artists.
    xxx Kiss

  • Reply
    Tia
    July 24, 2011 at 5:23 pm

    Love you!

  • Reply
    Wild Child Mama
    July 24, 2011 at 7:16 pm

    Wurd, sistah! I can totally relate to unrelating. We woulld have been bumming smokes from each other in school.
    And my heart always goes out to those who lose the battle against drugs. It’s so heartbreaking.

    • Reply
      kim sisto robinson
      July 24, 2011 at 8:12 pm

      Wild Child—Such a sad story…. & unfortunately, the story never ends.
      My heart always fills up for the lost creatures like Amy, Janis, all or them!
      Yeah, we would have been bumming smokes and smoking bongs. HA ha.

  • Reply
    Alison@Mama Wants This
    July 24, 2011 at 7:19 pm

    The passing of great talent always saddens me, especially when they *could* have been so much more.

    I love that you’re unconventional. There are too many normal types out there!

    • Reply
      kim sisto robinson
      July 24, 2011 at 8:14 pm

      Unconventionality & Eccentricity is so interesting….isn’t it, Alison? xxx
      What a talent. What a waste.
      That really saddens me.

  • Reply
    Sandra
    July 24, 2011 at 10:41 pm

    Excellent post! There seems to be such an outpouring of sympathy at the death of Amy Whinehouse. She really was a great talent, and her eccentricities, I think, made her talent that much more valuable. It’s such a shame…

    • Reply
      kim sisto robinson
      July 25, 2011 at 6:33 am

      —Yeah, Sandra,
      it is the eccentricities that makes one
      so very iteresting & intrriguing.
      Wasted lives cause me to cry. xxx

  • Reply
    Lorraine @ Not Quite Nigella
    July 24, 2011 at 11:40 pm

    I was so sad about Amy. Although I know people said that they weren’t surprised I was. I thought she’d outlive most of them based on sheer talent alone. How sad it was to hear that she didn’t 🙁 xxx

    • Reply
      kim sisto robinson
      July 25, 2011 at 6:35 am

      L.–When Hubby called me into the frontroom to tell me
      that they announced her death on TV, I was not surprised.
      But oh-s0-Sad.
      What a GREAT talent.
      xxx

  • Reply
    Heavenly Housewife
    July 25, 2011 at 5:11 am

    Her passing was so sad :(, why does it seem like the most talented people die so young?
    *kisses* HH

    • Reply
      kim sisto robinson
      July 25, 2011 at 6:36 am

      SO true, H.H.
      Jopin, Elvis, Morrison, Hendrix, Marilyn, and now Amy.
      All DRUGS.
      Sad. Wasteful.
      xxx

  • Reply
    Mandy - The Complete Cook Book
    July 25, 2011 at 7:47 am

    Absolutely LOVED this post!!!
    Great loss and tragedy.
    🙂 Mandy xo

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      July 25, 2011 at 7:53 am

      –Such a Loss. 🙁
      Sometimes I wonder if dying is the only way some people
      get the PEACE they desire.
      xxx Thanks for stopping by, Mandy. xx

  • Reply
    Dad
    July 25, 2011 at 8:32 am

    , Jim Morrison, Kurt Corbain, and now Amy Winehouse, how sad, all so talented, but they all had
    something missing in their lives.
    Love You
    Dad

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      July 25, 2011 at 8:44 am

      SO true, Daddy.
      SOmething missing.
      Always something missing without God.
      xxxxxxxx Luv U.

  • Reply
    Blond Duck
    July 25, 2011 at 9:09 am

    She was so talented.

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      July 25, 2011 at 9:11 am

      ——–BD,
      what a damn waste of a beautiful woman & talent. xxx

  • Reply
    Brenda
    July 25, 2011 at 11:23 am

    Kim – I always knew there was a reason I liked you… this line is a favorite…., That’s probably why I have great compassion & empathy for the peculiar, weird, odd, forgotten, and unusual. I never fit in EVER.. I still wear my hair long and color it off normal colors, I wear eye line and lashes ( I am somewhat of a fashionist, but not the typical type) and I love looking for funky clothes .. still. It makes me smile when I see woman who are still working to fit in. Why? This post reads like prose. You are a poet my dear.

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      July 25, 2011 at 11:53 am

      ——-Dear, Unconventional Brenda,
      From one oddball to another…
      You Rock 🙂 xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  • Reply
    The Flying Chalupa
    July 25, 2011 at 3:49 pm

    Poor, poor Amy – isn’t that just the saddest story? What a voice! Loved her music.

    And the unconventional oddballs out there are the interesting ones – the others? Boring!

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      July 25, 2011 at 4:11 pm

      Dear Flying,
      Isn’t that the truth? The oddballs are always a bit
      more interesting & exciting, aren’t they?
      Winehouse was VERY different.
      I wish I had the guts to wear my liner like that!!
      btw, love your blog. 🙂

  • Reply
    Jessica
    July 26, 2011 at 12:04 am

    It is very sad when a person’s life is taken over by drugs.

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      July 26, 2011 at 7:10 am

      —Jessica,
      and the worst thing– is when
      that person is judged harshly by
      the self righteous. How Insensitive!
      thanks for popping in..

  • Reply
    Adriana Iris
    July 27, 2011 at 11:43 am

    it feels as if some are just born tortured souls… souls that are so intense and with such thirst that nothing or anyone can quench… Here’s to all the bad girls…

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      July 27, 2011 at 12:56 pm

      —-Adriana,
      beautifully & eloqently said. xxx

  • Reply
    Unknown Mami
    July 27, 2011 at 3:31 pm

    I love the weird and eccentric. I celebrate non-conformity.

    Sad to lose yet another talented eccentric far too soon.

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      July 27, 2011 at 4:01 pm

      Me, too, Mami,
      I have always been attracted to the so-called-unconventional.
      Madonna was Huge for me. Gaga. Plath. Winehouse.
      Oh, Janis. Love her.
      So sad the Art could not save some of them.
      xx

  • Reply
    Bella
    July 29, 2011 at 8:46 pm

    Kim, I too read Plath. There was a time in my growing up years where all I wanted to do was shut myself out from anyone and everyone. I always rebelled at having to fit in; to belong to a specific group or click. I blame my nana for making me believe there was absolutely no reason I had to blend in when I was born to stand out. 🙂 Thank you, nana! Nowadays, I continue to admire individuals who fight the norm, who think outside of the box and who don’t crave acceptance from everyone. How utterly liberating!

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      July 29, 2011 at 9:23 pm

      —Yes, So Liberating…
      To Finally be YOURSELF!!!!
      No apologies to anybody. 🙂 xxx

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