~Humor is the affectionate communication of insight—Leo Rosten
- Arrogant people who park in 2 parking spaces are the same people who go home after work and kick the dog. Assholes.
- Thelma & Louis were total idiots. Why didn’t they book that hotel room with Brad Pitt for at least a week before they committed suicide?
- I despise when I clean out the litter box, spray it with Lysol, sprinkle it oh-so-sparsely with baking soda & then the cat decides to take a big shit.
- When I saw that Snookie had a book out at Barnes & Noble, my immediate reaction was “Well, this is truly the end of civilization as we know it.” Damn, the last book this chick read was probably “Green Eggs & Ham.”
- Don’t you just hate when you’re talking to someone who has a string of saliva dangling at the corner of their mouth?
- Or how about when you observe a woman with a mustache… I’ve thought…. “Don’t you know you have a mustache? Hasn’t anybody told you?” wtf.
- My hands sweat when I walk into Target.
- Hell would be a place without poetry & lipstick.
- Triple Hell would include reruns of Big Bang Theory blasting all day.
- Eyebrows fascinate me. Especially when women draw them on with charcoal- black pencil. So-utterly Joan Crawfordy–Bette Davisy–Creepy.
- The word “Tolerate” makes me cringe. One may as well by exclaiming,
“Nope. Don’t like ya. In fact, I can’t stand ya. But myself being the good humanitarian I am, I’ll tolerate ya!”
- I’ve realized when one eats an abundance of chocolate chip cookies, one’s ass becomes abundant.
- Why do the words Menopause & Menstruation have “Men” in them? That is totally fucked up.
- If more than one mouse is “mice,” then why isn’t more than one goose “gice?”
- Doesn’t a gorgeous woman such as Angelina Jolie royally piss you off?
- Dear Gaga, Madonna called…She wants her identity back.
- Dear Casey Anthony, Karma called….She’s coming to get you.
- Random Acts Of Kindness Day ticks me off. Does that mean that one should be kind only one day out of the year?
- Wouldn’t you absolutely loooove to be best friends with Oprah? Damn you, Gail.
- Dear Kim, Bridget Jones called… She wants her underwear back!
—Readers, do you have a random insight or goofy thought you want to share?