Kim's Blogs

Accidental Insights


~Humor is the affectionate communication of insight—Leo Rosten

 

 

  • Arrogant people who park in 2 parking spaces are the same people who go home after work and kick the dog.   Assholes.

 

  • Thelma & Louis were total idiots.  Why didn’t they book that hotel room with Brad Pitt for at least a week before they committed suicide? Sarandon and Davis as "Thelma & Louise"

 

  • I despise when I clean out the litter box, spray it with Lysol, sprinkle it oh-so-sparsely with baking soda & then the cat decides to take a big shit.

 

  • When I saw that Snookie had a book out at Barnes &  Noble, my immediate reaction was “Well, this is truly the end of civilization as we know it.”  Damn, the last book this chick read was probably “Green Eggs & Ham.”

 

  • Don’t you just hate when you’re talking to someone who has a string of saliva dangling at the corner of their mouth?

 

  • Or how about when you observe a woman with a mustache…  I’ve thought…. “Don’t you know you have a mustache?  Hasn’t anybody told you?”  wtf.

 

  • My hands sweat when I walk into Target. 

 

  • Hell would be a place without poetry & lipstick.

Selected Poems of Sylvia Plath book cover

 

  • Triple Hell would include reruns of Big Bang Theory blasting all day.

 

  • Eyebrows fascinate me.  Especially when women draw them on with charcoal- black pencil.  So-utterly Joan Crawfordy–Bette Davisy–Creepy.

 

  • The word “Tolerate” makes me cringe.  One may as well by exclaiming,
    “Nope.  Don’t like ya.  In fact, I can’t stand ya.  But myself being the good humanitarian I am, I’ll tolerate ya!”

 

  • I’ve realized when one eats an abundance of chocolate chip cookies, one’s ass becomes abundant.

crispy chewy chocolate chip cookies 

  • Why do the words Menopause & Menstruation have “Men” in them?   That is totally fucked up. 

 

  • If more than one mouse is “mice,” then why isn’t more than one goose “gice?”

 

  • Doesn’t a gorgeous woman such as  Angelina Jolie royally piss you off?

 [angelina-jolie1.jpg] 

  • Dear Gaga,   Madonna called…She wants her identity back.

 

  • Dear Casey Anthony,  Karma called….She’s coming to get you.

 

  • Random Acts Of Kindness Day ticks me off.  Does that mean that one should be kind only one day out of the year?

 

  • Wouldn’t you absolutely loooove to be best friends with Oprah?  Damn you, Gail.

 

  • Dear Kim,  Bridget Jones called… She wants her underwear back!


 

—Readers, do you have a random insight or goofy thought you want to share?


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74 Comments

  • Reply
    Christina
    July 14, 2011 at 8:59 am

    This is so funny!

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      July 14, 2011 at 11:29 am

      ~I thought so!!!…xxx

  • Reply
    Trish
    July 14, 2011 at 9:48 am

    I think of the cat poop thing all the time. I liken it to when I put up a beautiful display at work and step back to admire it, to take in the glory of alphabetization, at that exact moment a flock of 5 year holds inevitably flock to it and pull every other book off the shelf to create their own Lego -esque masterpiece on the floor! Cat poop in a freshly cleaned box! 🙂

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      July 14, 2011 at 11:30 am

      I know, Trish…
      We just want to admire the beauty for a while…
      Nothing Lasts!!!
      xxx kiss for you.

  • Reply
    Totsymae
    July 14, 2011 at 10:04 am

    I hate that word ‘tolerate’ too. It’s like, so fake.

    Snooki has a second book coming out, Kim. Maybe she benefited from reading Green Eggs and Ham 🙂

    I sure wish I could’ve bitten into one of those chocolate chip cookies.

    And why do your hands sweat when you go in Target? You get as excited as I do when you go in there? As a Targer shopper don’t you feel so much more above the people who shop at WalMart? 🙂

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      July 14, 2011 at 11:33 am

      Totsymae,
      I think it’s the colors at Target that turn my crank…And
      i think they have some subliminal message … whispering.
      Buuuuy…..Speeeend…..Buuuy Mooore.
      it’s like a damn LSP trip, man.
      xxx Kisses

  • Reply
    Karen Mobley
    July 14, 2011 at 10:39 am

    I realize I put my foot in my mouth when I don’t thank my husband for putting all my jeans in the dryer!!(wait~ what~ You put WHAT in the dryer for me??)

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      July 14, 2011 at 11:33 am

      Soooo Cute 🙂 xx

  • Reply
    lafemmeroar
    July 14, 2011 at 11:06 am

    What a riot!

    Kindness is never random. I’d never be randomly kind to an asshole.

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      July 14, 2011 at 11:34 am

      Beatifully said, Lafemmeroar! xxx

  • Reply
    Kelly
    July 14, 2011 at 11:21 am

    LOVE it!!!! TOO FUNNY!!!

    A few of my random thoughts… (TRUST me there are MANY!!!)….

    – It doesn’t matter what temperature the room is, it’s always room-temperature.

    – We may be alone. We may not be alone. Either way, the idea is MIND BOGGELING!!!

    – Chocolate, Coffee, Men, some things are just better rich!

    – Earth is the insane Asylum for the universe!.

    :o)

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      July 14, 2011 at 11:36 am

      —–Earth is the insane Asylum for the universe!.

      Now that’s my favorite. Soooooo Truuuuuuue. I am totally NUTS.

      I love RICH chocloate, RICH COFFEE….but hubby is nooooot RICH. Damn!!!

      xxxx

  • Reply
    LBDDiaries
    July 14, 2011 at 11:37 am

    Just what I thought – thou art warped. But I mostly like the way your mind operates except… LAY OFF THE CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES. They are innocent victims of false advertisting. Everyone knows homemade cookies are made with so much love, it squeezes the calories right out of them. I know. My mom told me so. Of course, she is also the one who told me that when you eat out, the one who gets the check gets the calories. So maybe…

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      July 14, 2011 at 11:43 am

      “““LB.
      I just love ya sooo much!
      I should make chocolate chip cookies for you! 🙂 xxx

      • Reply
        LBDDiaries
        July 15, 2011 at 10:28 pm

        Yes, yes you should. And you said it in a public forum so I have proof you said it. Want my address?

        • Reply
          Kim Sisto-Robinson
          July 15, 2011 at 11:12 pm

          Sure! xx

  • Reply
    mercy
    July 14, 2011 at 1:07 pm

    am still trying to comprehend the big bang theory part! Couldnt read past that….

    • Reply
      kim sisto robinson
      July 14, 2011 at 1:14 pm

      Big Bang SUCKS.
      I thought people in Kenya had more class than that???
      ha ha
      but i still luv ya more than tigers in Kisumu. xx

  • Reply
    Alex
    July 14, 2011 at 1:40 pm

    Women with mustache fascinate me. I cannot stop loking at IT – I know it’s probably complicated problem, ….. but frankly – how can any woman just go round with IT?

    Thelma & Louise – I was 15 and this movie wake up the feminist in me.

    Gaga go home!

    Kim, I luv ya’

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      July 14, 2011 at 2:26 pm

      Alex,
      yeah, i get i’m fascinated by women with mustaches, too,
      cuz i can’t stop staring at it when i talk with them!

      I must say, I do love Gaga….but she’d not be Gaga without Madona!

      Luv Ya 2

      • Reply
        Alex
        July 14, 2011 at 2:36 pm

        I can’t stand Gaga any longer. I’m getting old, I’m sorry. I actually prefer Madonna for her efforts she makes for her daughter at the moment, using her own fame to establish Lourdes in business life: Respect!
        p.s. Luv ya 4 ever!

        • Reply
          Kim Sisto-Robinson
          July 14, 2011 at 4:04 pm

          Madonna would be the concert I’d looooooooove to see…I feel as if I grew up with her 🙂 xx

  • Reply
    Dad
    July 14, 2011 at 2:07 pm

    Kim, How about Andy Rooney’s eyebeows? By the way, I don’t care if my ass becomes abundant,
    bring over those chocolate chip cookies.
    Love You More Than Those Cookies
    Daddy

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      July 14, 2011 at 2:27 pm

      Oh, how did I ever end up with an awesome daddy like you ??

      Love you more than the ENTIRE world.

      Beat that one !!!

  • Reply
    Monica
    July 14, 2011 at 4:33 pm

    Good to see some funnies today, and I really needed it..so thanksfor that, especially ~ Kim,Alex & Bob (miss you and Shirley).
    Kim, I’d love to get together for coffee (or whatever) soon…..let me know if you’re interested, ok?

    And, can’t resist ~ I love RICH chocloate, RICH COFFEE….but hubby is RICH ~ nooooot . Damn!!! And not home again either 🙁

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      July 14, 2011 at 4:41 pm

      Dear, Monica,

      So glad i could offer you a funny today…
      most of the time i am crying…so
      this was a good blog for me.

      It made me laugh, too!

      Dave said he talked to Rich not long ago.

      i bet you’re lonesome??

      xx

  • Reply
    kopite58
    July 14, 2011 at 5:18 pm

    The real hell is ……lifetime

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      July 14, 2011 at 5:28 pm

      “`Dave,
      i know it’s you, Hubs…don’t hide under your alias.
      r u telling me i watch too much lifetime tv?
      love you more than SOCCER xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  • Reply
    Tia
    July 14, 2011 at 5:28 pm

    Love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      July 14, 2011 at 9:05 pm

      ~~luv you MORE…. xx

  • Reply
    Irene
    July 14, 2011 at 5:35 pm

    On Angelina Jolie:

    Make up can do wonders! My boobs are just as big as hers anyway! Screw her! So yeah, people like her piss me off.

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      July 14, 2011 at 9:07 pm

      ~~~yeah, take that you big boobed, makeup-faced, Jolie!!!!!!!!!
      and while your at it, tell you hubby Brad he’s UGLY & Fat!!

      xxx Haha ha

  • Reply
    Bella
    July 14, 2011 at 6:55 pm

    Kim, this post is a hoot! I love the laughter that erupted while reading it! Here’s something to add to the mix: Don’t you hate it that women like Beyonce, JLo, and that Kardashian woman, whoever she is, flaunt the size of their asses while the rest of us are bitching about the size of ours? 🙂

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      July 14, 2011 at 9:08 pm

      Bella,

      Those asses really PISS me OFF, man!

      Especially … Kardashian.

      Damn Her! xx

  • Reply
    Theresa Sonoda
    July 14, 2011 at 6:58 pm

    Big Bang Theory is my favorite show. Don’t judge. I need the brief escapism. Pairs well with cheap wine.

    On this side of the fence, I dream of Angelina and JLo……..and that other side of the fence I dream of George Clooney. I’d say I’m confused, but I’m not. I totally know what I want and can never have.

    I believe that Random Acts of Kindness should be just that. Making a special day of it kinda takes that randomness right out of there.

    I’d love to hang out with Hillary Clinton. Get her drunk and have pedi’s and some girl talk. I’m just a freak that way. LMAO

    HUGZZZZZZZ

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      July 14, 2011 at 9:10 pm

      Terri,
      make up your mind, girl…do you want Jolie or Clooney?
      Or perhaps both?? HA HA HA.
      I want Clooney … And I want to look Like Jolie!

      Hilary would be fun with some Wine. She needs Lots of wine.

      Hug. Kiss. Hug. Kiss.

  • Reply
    Janette
    July 14, 2011 at 7:04 pm

    The kitty litter. I totally agree with you on that. When they see me cleaning it, they start inching their way towards the boxes. When I’m coming back from throwing the shit outside I come in and I see freshly put kitty litter on the litter catcher (that pad in front to catch excess litter) from their paws…uuugghhh damn you cats. The Lady Gaga comment…love it!!! Casey Anthony…Karma’s coming. And now I want chocolate chip cookies…man and I was doing good on my cravings…hehe oh well. :0)

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      July 14, 2011 at 9:11 pm

      ~~Hold on…
      I’ll send you over some warm choc chip cookies 🙂 xxxx
      PS. damn those cats…why don’t they go in the toilet or somethin’???

  • Reply
    Jeanie T.
    July 14, 2011 at 9:09 pm

    I work in cosmetics and notice how many women not only have a mustache but a beard to go along with it. I can see it. Do they not have a mirror? No amount of lipstick or blush is going to replace a tweezer!

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      July 14, 2011 at 9:13 pm

      ~~~~~Jeanie, my dear,
      what do you tell them?
      do they know they have a beard?
      —do you tweeze it for them?
      Are the women butchie or feminine?
      xxxx Kiss kiss

  • Reply
    Sandra
    July 14, 2011 at 9:54 pm

    I think it’s very telling that the cover of Snookie’s book is a big pile of hair. A big pile of shit might have been more appropriate, but the hair, the shit, who can tell the difference!
    I love your insight!

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      July 14, 2011 at 10:55 pm

      ““Sandra,
      that is great…”pile of shit!”
      wish i would have thought of that!! xxx

  • Reply
    mom2kiddos
    July 14, 2011 at 10:48 pm

    I hadn’t thought about “Men” being in menopause and menstruation – yeah why is that? Hilarious string of thoughts! Thanks for poppin’ by my blog and leaving me a comment! 😀

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      July 14, 2011 at 10:57 pm

      I know…wth is that all about?!
      how dare MEN be in those words….Damn Latins! xxx

  • Reply
    Lorraine @ Not Quite Nigella
    July 15, 2011 at 1:07 am

    Kim you are HILARIOUS. What a great list-agreed with so many of them! Thanks for a Friday evening chuckle 😀 xxx

    • Reply
      kim sisto robinson
      July 15, 2011 at 7:25 am

      Dear Lorraine,
      Nigella Called….She’s wants her blog back…..
      she says yours is better than hers !!! xxx

  • Reply
    Lady Fi
    July 15, 2011 at 2:44 am

    I’m too busy laughing to share anything. This was hilarious – thanks!

    • Reply
      kim sisto robinson
      July 15, 2011 at 7:28 am

      —Dear, Lady Fi,
      so happy I could offer you a chuckle ! xx
      have a good Friday….

  • Reply
    Heavenly Housewife
    July 15, 2011 at 7:36 am

    LOL, daaaaahling, you are so wise 😀
    *kisses* HH

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      July 15, 2011 at 7:43 am

      ~~Dear, Heavenly,
      mostly– people just say I’m totally Straaaange.
      xxx Kiss back.

  • Reply
    Mrs. B
    July 15, 2011 at 8:22 am

    True on all counts! Esp. Karma…she’s a bitch!

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      July 15, 2011 at 8:26 am

      —-You’re so right , Sistah. xxxx

  • Reply
    Latoya
    July 15, 2011 at 9:36 am

    Wow, now this is what I call a BLOG post! I loved reading every bit of this. 🙂

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      July 15, 2011 at 9:52 am

      ~~Latoya,
      ““So glad you approved 🙂 xxx

  • Reply
    Kelley
    July 15, 2011 at 1:33 pm

    These made me laugh! I’ve always wondered why more than one moose wasn’t called meese. I’m all about the random observations! So glad you stopped by my blog b/c your comment linked me back here. Following you now!

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      July 15, 2011 at 2:56 pm

      ““Kelley,
      thanks for popping in…yeah, why isn’t moose..meeese? what the hell!
      xx

  • Reply
    Mary Peterson
    July 15, 2011 at 3:18 pm

    Hey Kim, Here’s some more deep thoughts:

    Why are Asteroids in space and Hemmorhoids on our ass?

    If a fly didn’t have wings would it be called a walk?

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      July 15, 2011 at 4:51 pm

      oooh, the asteroids! I must ponder that !!!!!!!!!! xxx very good.

  • Reply
    elizabeth
    July 15, 2011 at 3:29 pm

    it sounded like you picked my brain. brilliant list – of course, it is ,. It came from my brain too! xoxox elizabeth

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      July 15, 2011 at 4:52 pm

      i always say … 2 brains R better than 1 !
      xxxx Kiss 4 U.

  • Reply
    Connie P
    July 15, 2011 at 6:22 pm

    Love your random thoughts, Kim.

    I have never understood why Major League Baseball coaches wear uniforms. It’s not like they are going to get in the game. You don’t see Basketball or Football coaches wearing uniforms, although that would be hilarious! It makes no sense.

    Also Kim, I hate to tell you, but Snooky has another book out this Summer ( saw it on E Entertainment TV) Go figure?!

    It has always bugged me the way that characters on TV, who have only part-time jobs (like the girls on “Friends”) have these gorgeous apartments overlooking Central Park. OR kids in soap operas take over Multi-Million dollar companies, or Fashion Houses after graduating from High School.

    XXOO

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      July 15, 2011 at 6:50 pm

      ““““Connie,
      Verrry interesting observations….
      Damn, Snooky….
      All of us writers are struggling artists and there dumb ass is
      getting another book published.
      What the Hell is this world coming to???
      XXXXXXXXX

  • Reply
    Wild Child Mama
    July 15, 2011 at 7:38 pm

    I was at the zoo running after my three-year-old saying excuse me with a smile to all those I had to squeeze. One guy pushing monkey food on a cart said, in a really irritated voice, “you have to keep an eye on them.” meaning my kids. Really, mother f’er? Really? So, people who either have never had children or who have forgotten how crazy it is to raise them try to point out ridiculously obvious parenting advice. They can kiss my a$$.

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      July 15, 2011 at 8:00 pm

      ““`Wild mama,
      Doesn’t that piss you off. How dare them! Asswipes. Monkey Men!
      When my son was little a woman came up to me at MacDonalds and said
      in a (very smug) tone, “excuuuuse me, but your son is eating french fries off the floor.” and I said, “Well, Maam, He’s eatin’ much worst things than that!’
      thanks for popping in. XXX

  • Reply
    Alison@Mama Wants This
    July 15, 2011 at 10:36 pm

    Hahahahaha!!!! You’re so funny!

    Random thought – why can’t people eat one french fry at a time? (or is it me who’s weird?)

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      July 15, 2011 at 11:13 pm

      No, I think several people eat 2 or 3 at a time. What up with that? xxx

  • Reply
    A Brit Greek
    July 16, 2011 at 2:11 am

    Ha ha ha ha, i almost fell off my chair laughing at the Thelma/Louise one!
    Thanks for making my Saturday morning and also for stopping by! See ya soon lovely!
    Have an awesome weekend!
    x.o.x.o

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      July 16, 2011 at 7:39 am

      Hey, Brit,
      “`the title of your site made me go to it immediately since
      my hubby is a Brit from Liverpool.
      so glad I stopped by XXXX & made you laugh 🙂

  • Reply
    Kitchen Belleicious
    July 16, 2011 at 5:34 am

    Love them All! They are hilarious- my favorites are the ones about big bang theory ( i detest that show) Madonna on getting her identity back and angie being so darn pretty! Loveu girl- your so funny

    • Reply
      kim sisto robinson
      July 16, 2011 at 7:36 am

      Dear Bell, I found myself giggling as I was writing my own damn blog!!! 🙂 xxx Sometime it’s a pleasant distraction to look at the funny things in Life!!

  • Reply
    Brenda
    July 16, 2011 at 11:58 am

    I was itching to get caught up with your posts but work was manic this week. Loved this insight, howled with delight at your observations, especially the comment about ‘Snookie’. I don’t understand the attraction to this woman, or the show, but then again I am often lost in a book or writing so I assume there is something wrong with my connection to pop culture.. OR maybe I have standards or something…hmm. Your site was the treat of my week. Thanks for leaving me with a smile.

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      July 16, 2011 at 12:06 pm

      ~~It is a pleasure to make you smile, Brenda…
      usually I am causing people to cry 🙂 xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
      PS. Snookie is a big Poopie.

  • Reply
    Adriana Iris
    July 17, 2011 at 9:02 am

    lol this post is so funny. not sure why women always take it out on their hair… whether is eyebrows or any hairy area… but no brows is so not sexy…

    Angelina Jolie to me looks like a drag queen we have in town…

    Snookie is the death of civilization as we know it.

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      July 17, 2011 at 9:18 am

      That drag queen must be one lucky bitch!

      Snookie suck rotten Eggs.

      oh, yeah….NO eyebrows are soooooo horrible and weird looking.

      Adrianna Is fabulously fabulous! xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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