“Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak knits up the o’er-wrought heart and bids it break.” — William Shakespeare
–I live in two worlds.
The world before Kay’s murder….
And the world after Kay’s murder.
Truth be told, I’m finding it quite difficult to merge the two,
glue them together into something new & satisfying.
I can not.
Where is the harmony?
Where is the symmetry?
How can one survive stuck between Life & Death?
One cannot have both.
One ought to seize one or the other.
Let go of one or the other.
My sister is Dead. Dead. Dead.
How do I Live. Live. Live.
Ahhhh, that’s the fucking rub.
In one world, I write about pretty pink cupcakes, chicken cordon bleu & chocolate chip cookies.
In the other world, sometimes I can’t make it out to bed in the morning.
Did you know?
Did I tell you?
I do not understand why the universe split in half?
Why the monster separated us with three bullets…
…leaving me behind to pick up the shattered glass?
I still smell your perfume.
I still have your journals sitting at my bedside.
We talked about growing old together.
… how we laughed about wearing hot pink lipstick over our thin lips like old women do.
How we’d dress in tiger pants & high heels shoes.
How we’d adopt every stray cat in the neighborhood
& become eccentric Cat Ladies.
I remember everything.
I remember nothing.
The world is sweet.
The world is bitter.
I’ll never release you, my dear.
My sister was murdered by Mike Peterson 415 days ago. We will never be the same….The universe will never be the same.
Read More About Kay Here: In Memory of Kay
~~~For support and more information please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or at TTY 1-800-787-3224.
click here NOW : http://www.thehotline.org/get-help/help-in-your-area/
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