In Memory of Kay

Oneota Cemetery.

{For Tia, my partner in crime & my second best friend}



I HATE Hate hate hate hate visiting my sister at Oneota Fucking Cemetery.


But I go a couple times a month  week nonetheless.


I park my silver Sorrento, fling the doors open, and blast Mercy Me,  Francesca Battistelli,  or Lady Antebellum.


I sit at Kay’s gravesite to weep and reflect.


I water her daisies and petunias.


I listen to the chimes in the tree play sweet music.


Sometimes I pray to my still silent God.


A few days ago  when I visit  Oneota Fucking Cemetery ….


I notice the clay planters are gone, the statue of Chester is gone, the yellow rose is gone.


My insides go wild— begin doing flips-flops.


I drive home like a crazy woman.


Instantly as I open the door, I burst into the ugly cry.  You know what I’m talking about.


“Kaaay’s stuff is goooone.  Chester’s nooot there.  The-the yellow rose.  Our p-p-planters.”  I slobber spit and snot all over hubby.   “It’s all gooooooooooone.”


Mind you, he’s used to me.  Used to me acting a teeny bit irrational and Nutzo nowadays.


He tells me to settle down.  Just take at easy.


He calls Oneota Fucking Cemetery.


They say all the stuff is in the office in a cardboard box.  Nothing can be near the site or on the stone because the idiot kids need to mow the idiotic lawn.


Thems the RULES the dude tells Hubs.


“Let me talk to him!” I yell.


“Nope.” He says.  “Let it go,Kimmie.”


I do not.    I can not.    I will not.


I do not let things go….haven’t you figured that out yet?


Next day, I call my partner in crime, Miss Tia.


I tell her the whole sad pathetic story. 


“Now Kay looks like every other person up there,” I cry.  “She’s Not!  She’s not like everybody else!”


“Hold it right there, Sister!” Tia screams.  “I have an idea.”


We meet at Menards to buy spray paint, petunias,  & pink lilies.


We get dirt, newspapers, beads & white lights.


We paint Kay’s flower basket on the blacktop hoping  graveyard security doesn’t drive by.


“If they do.  I don’t really give a shit at this point.” I inform Tia.


“Yeah, they’re all Biaaches.”  Tia says.


“I know, how dare them move Kay’s stuff.  The nerve.  The gull.  The balls.  Damn assholes.”


The basket transforms from a dull cemetery white into a beautiful berry pink.  


We weave white beads thru the wicker, plant the  petunias, and place the lilies at the center of the basket.


“I love it!” I exclaim.


We sit on the ground staring at the basket for a long time without talking.


“Now, thaaaat is so-very- Kay,” Tia  finally says.


“Yep.  She’d like this,” I sigh.   “She’d really like this.  Gooooooooood, I miss miss miss miss  her

Before I can start bawling my face off again, Tia stands up….scans the graveyard with all the granite stones in stupid perfect  rows …. and yells:


  “Take that Biaaaches.  Nobody puts baby in a corner!”


I start laughing sooooooo hard.   The piss in your pants sort of laugh…


And I swear,   I can almost  hear Kay laughing, too.   That laugh with those cute little snorts in between.


   That laugh that I’d give anything to hear again.

Kay was murdered by Mike Peterson 1 year and 1 month ago….The Universe Stopped.

Click to heaar Francesca:   Francesca Battistelli – Im Letting Go

Read More About Kay Here:   In Memory of Kay 

 ~~~For support and more information please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or at TTY 1-800-787-3224.

click here NOW :

Click Here to Donate to ( DAIP) Domestic Abuse Intervention Prevention in Duluth: Click here to donate.

 Large Pink Glitter Lips - Glitter LipsXXxx

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  • Reply
    June 26, 2011 at 8:44 pm

    Absolutely love it

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      June 26, 2011 at 8:49 pm

      ~~Isn’t it beautiful?
      And I say, “Take that Biaches!” 🙂 xxx

  • Reply
    June 26, 2011 at 9:25 pm

    Thank God for Tia. She is a blessing! Praying for you often, Kim. Hope to see you in a month or so.

    • Reply
      kim sisto robinson
      June 26, 2011 at 9:29 pm

      Loved talking with you, J.
      Hope we can meet to cry… and perhaps,
      even laugh a bit about our history together w/ K.

  • Reply
    Mandy - The Complete Cook Book
    June 26, 2011 at 9:58 pm

    B E A U T I F U L !
    🙂 Mandy

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      June 26, 2011 at 10:13 pm

      I know.
      Just LIke Kay 🙂 xxx

  • Reply
    June 26, 2011 at 10:16 pm

    YOU GO GIRLS!!!!!!!!! Love you for this…..really!

    • Reply
      kim sisto robinson
      June 26, 2011 at 10:18 pm

      I think you would be a great Partner in Crime, as well.
      Hell Yes : xxxxx

  • Reply
    Lorraine @ Not Quite Nigella
    June 27, 2011 at 2:37 am

    Kim, what a wonderful ending to the post! I love what you did and your friend Tia is an amazing support! It astounds me how insensitive some people can be, of course moving people’s things is going to upset their relatives especially if they don’t know

    • Reply
      kim sisto robinson
      June 27, 2011 at 7:37 am

      it was Kay, Tia, & Me.
      This was the perfect team…
      I must say, painting this was
      a great distraction… and not
      comforming was a bit fun. But
      God, I miss her…miss her.
      Thanks, Lorraine.

  • Reply
    Hello Ladies
    June 27, 2011 at 4:09 am

    Nobody puts baby in a corner! Laughing and crying and laughing. Love the basket!

    • Reply
      kim sisto robinson
      June 27, 2011 at 7:38 am

      –Do U see why we hang out together?
      Just sayin’
      Love to you, Liz. xx

  • Reply
    June 27, 2011 at 4:32 am

    Great idea!!! 🙂 so sassy and spunky!!!

    • Reply
      kim sisto robinson
      June 27, 2011 at 7:38 am

      Hubby might think differently…
      but I call it SASS!!
      Thanks for your support, Cindy 🙂 xx

  • Reply
    Joan M.
    June 27, 2011 at 4:41 am

    Love love love that basket! Tia’s a great friend!

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      June 27, 2011 at 7:51 am

      ~~The basket is the perfect pink?
      The colour of Kay’s lipsticks.
      And Yes, Tia is amazing, funny, & very naughty.
      Love to you, Joan. xx

  • Reply
    Karen Sosnoski
    June 27, 2011 at 4:45 am

    Loved the ending of this perfect crime story!!

    • Reply
      kim sisto robinson
      June 27, 2011 at 7:41 am

      —-Crime Story!!
      I like that.
      I am Not Cool at Conforming…
      And Tia just makes me more naughty.
      love coming your way, Karen. xx

  • Reply
    Goodness and Grit
    June 27, 2011 at 5:30 am

    It seems you are beginning to find a way to smile from within again.

    • Reply
      kim sisto robinson
      June 27, 2011 at 7:42 am

      Goodness & Grit.
      Oooooh, My,
      I’m Trying, girl.
      Thanks for your support, KImberly!!! 🙂

  • Reply
    June 27, 2011 at 5:46 am

    Kim- go for you and Tia. “Nobody puts baby in a corner! xxx elizabeth

    • Reply
      kim sisto robinson
      June 27, 2011 at 7:43 am

      Not an option.
      Kay was the nice one! HA HA
      Luv U.

  • Reply
    Helene Abbott
    June 27, 2011 at 7:38 am

    Now that’s a basket of love and so beautiful….You and Tia done good. You go girl, they can’t get ahead of you or back YOU in a corner! Love it…

    • Reply
      kim sisto robinson
      June 27, 2011 at 7:45 am

      Dear, Sissy,
      Sometimes being naughty feels so good.
      That was one of those times.
      Kay deserves EVERYTHING.
      Love to you, my great supporter. xxx

  • Reply
    Alison@Mama Wants This
    June 27, 2011 at 8:14 am

    I LOVE the basket, so beautiful!

    I also love how you and Tia were so cheeky. I’d love you to be on MY side always.


    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      June 27, 2011 at 8:21 am

      Dear, Alison,
      I am on your side. Always.
      And Yes, We are very Cheeky when we are together….especially,
      Kay was so much sweeter than her sister !!! Seriousl.y.

  • Reply
    June 27, 2011 at 9:10 am

    Yaaay, good for you! Who the hell are they to take away that stuff! Awww, poor little lawn mower guy! DEAL WITH IT, MOW AROUND IT YOU DOUCHE! DUH! It’s not like it’s going to ruin anything. I would have gone nuts too!!

    And thank you to Tia for being there for ya. We all need a partner in crime!

    • Reply
      kim sisto robinson
      June 27, 2011 at 9:13 am

      oooooh, Irene,
      you are sooo funny…I think you
      may be a perfect “partner in crime”, as well.
      Douche! I couldn’t have said it better, sistah.

  • Reply
    Lady Fi
    June 27, 2011 at 9:38 am

    That is one eye-catching, sizzling, I love you basket of love! Wonderful.

  • Reply
    Kim Sisto-Robinson
    June 27, 2011 at 9:41 am

    ~~”Basket of Love.”
    Yes, indeed…. It is That!
    Thanks, Lady Fi…for your inspiration.

  • Reply
    June 27, 2011 at 10:29 am

    You and Tia are the best!
    It’s beautiful – perfect in everyway.
    I love it and I know Kay does too.

    It’s hard to keep a good girl down!

    Love you

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      June 27, 2011 at 10:37 am

      ~~~~Dear, Sue,
      It is beautiful & pink & colorful… just as Kay was.
      A Good Girl?
      I’ve been feeling very naughty lately!
      What a superb distraction from my new reality.
      Love you, too. xx

      • Reply
        Sue W
        June 27, 2011 at 2:20 pm


        Good as in a get it done girl – not a goodie two shoes girl.

        No mistakin’ the two!

  • Reply
    June 27, 2011 at 10:47 am

    Its so beautiful.

    Love you lots…

    • Reply
      kim sisto robinson
      June 27, 2011 at 10:52 am

      Love you lots, back, African Queen.
      Probably more than kitten in winter.

  • Reply
    julie gardner
    June 27, 2011 at 4:39 pm

    Laughs, cheers and chills for you.

    Such is the love of a sister.

    I feel it deeply. My baby sister is just 16 months younger than I.

    I would move worlds for her, too.

    She is still with me here in this one, though.

    I am sorry beyond words that you have to move other worlds for Kay.

    But you do. Oh yes you do.

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      June 27, 2011 at 7:00 pm

      I never thought I could EVER live
      without my dear sister…
      but here I am.
      It Sucks.
      My world is so much less without her.
      thank you for your lovely words. xxX

  • Reply
    susan boswell
    June 27, 2011 at 9:16 pm

    Well, would ya look at that?
    What a fantastic job you two criminals did- and I swear- I can hear Kaye laughing from here. Am so glad Tia is there for you…


    And thank you sweet Kim, for the thoughtful and delicious note E passed to me at the conference. We love you so much. You were there in spirit- we all felt you. XXOO to you my friend.

    • Reply
      kim sisto robinson
      June 28, 2011 at 6:56 am

      Dear, Susan,
      Kay was there laughing. And if it were
      the other way round, she’d be up at the Cem
      w/ Tia being a naughty girl, as well.
      Yes, we are NEVER alone.
      Thank God…
      Or I would not survive the dark days…
      these sad–lonlely days.
      Love you, Susan.
      You sweet, sweet Susan…..

  • Reply
    June 28, 2011 at 7:26 am

    Fabulous! Just like you dear, sweet Kim! You are so blessed to have Tia (and Dave too!)

    • Reply
      kim sisto robinson
      June 28, 2011 at 8:05 am

      they put up with my shit and crying and screaming and ….. and ….
      luv to you, Charlene. xxxxx

  • Reply
    Adriana Iris
    June 28, 2011 at 8:37 am

    Someone gave me this in a card when my brother passed…

    Do not stand at my grave and weep
    I am not there; I do not sleep.
    I am a thousand winds that blow,
    I am the diamond glints on snow,
    I am the sun on ripened grain,
    I am the gentle autumn rain.
    When you awaken in the morning’s hush
    I am the swift uplifting rush
    Of quiet birds in circled flight.
    I am the soft stars that shine at night.
    Do not stand at my grave and cry,
    I am not there; I did not die.

    He wanted his ashes thrown in the sea and some are here with me per his request…
    I love you and feel you.

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      June 28, 2011 at 9:00 am

      Adriana…..I am crying. crying crying
      The pain of this loss has almost killed me, too.
      and I read your words and my soul lifts higher.
      “I am not there; I did not die.”
      —–I know this. I know this! I know this.
      But I am so lonely on this earth.
      … to you, my friend.
      I know that you understand. I know you understand great Loss.
      I love you for understanding. xx

  • Reply
    June 28, 2011 at 9:29 am

    Mom & I went went up to that —————- cemetry, & looked at what you guys did, we loved
    it. It was Kay all over. (Just Beautiful). You and Tia make a good pair, Irene might fit right in
    with you guys.
    Love You More Than Malted Milk Balls

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      June 28, 2011 at 9:42 am

      Kay deserves Everything. Everything she did not have on earth…
      she now has it with our God.
      I miss her so bad…and I know you do, too.
      How can one miss so much?
      I used the “F” word a lot on this one…
      thanx for still loving me.
      love you more than all the Dove Chocolate in the Universe.

  • Reply
    June 28, 2011 at 11:29 am

    WAY TO GO Kim and Tia. Perfection, thy name is spray paint. And beads.

    Rules suck. Rigidity sucks. Love rules.

    • Reply
      kim sisto robinson
      June 28, 2011 at 11:50 am

      Love Rules !!!!!!!!!!!
      Can’t keep baby in a corner!
      Sooo beautifully true, Pamela. 🙂 xxxxx

  • Reply
    Theresa Sonoda
    June 28, 2011 at 8:44 pm

    With every post, I just adore you more. This was amazing. Big hug my friend!

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      June 28, 2011 at 8:56 pm

      —and I adore you, too, T. xxxxx

  • Reply
    June 29, 2011 at 5:49 am

    I Love You!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Reply
      kim sisto robinson
      June 29, 2011 at 7:54 am

      I love you , too….although; you are a very horrible influence. ha ha.
      xxx so much love coming your way.xx

  • Reply
    June 29, 2011 at 11:51 am

    I see your sunshine … it’s getting brighter and brighter. Hugs from San Francisco.. There is a rainbow over the Bay right now, I think that is Kay smiling down..

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      June 29, 2011 at 1:26 pm

      Dear, Brenda,
      I see that image of the rainbow over the Bay right now…
      and It is soooooooooooooooooooo beautiful. xxxx

  • Reply
    June 30, 2011 at 6:37 pm

    I really felt that. You’ve got yourself a good friend and I’m missing your sister for you. That was so honest. Courageous. And simply beautiful.

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      June 30, 2011 at 8:11 pm

      the missing is so deep that I’ve been trying to
      put it into words & poetry for over one year.
      So deep. So massive. So dark.
      thanks for stopping by 🙂

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