In Memory of Kay

Happy Birthday, Sweet Kay.


i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)
                                 —ee cummings

 

Happy Birthday, My Sweet—Sweet Sister.

 

~Today is your first birthday without me.  (and I am dying inside)

 

The first time I will not be filling a pretty pink bag with candles & lotions & lipsticks. (remember all the bath and body lotions we hoarded together?)

 

The first time we will not be going out to devour chicken wings &  chocolate fondue & outstanding conversation about books and God.    (you never did read that last book I bought you on the Twilight Series)

 

The first time you will not be ordering your diet coke with 4 green olives.  (you always had 4 olives, didn’t you?  You were soooo weird!)

 

The first time I will not be sitting across from you laughing about how we always lied about our ages.  (you told everybody you were 35!! …And damn it, you looked it)

 

But today…

 

I will be going to the cemetery to visit you.  (I go there often)

 

I will be saying a prayer. (screaming a fucking  prayer)

 

I will be bringing you flowers.  (don’t worry.  no horrible carnations.)

 

I will bring you my love, my absolute  love, my undying love.

 

And my heart aches…(every single day)

 

… because I miss you.  I miss you. I miss you.  I miss you.

 

Like an  indescribable place inside that I cannot reach….like a deep root that is buried and tangled and twisted …

 

I miss you. I miss you I miss you i miss you i miss you i i i

 

Happy Birthday, My Sweet, Sweet Love.

 

Love.   Always.  Forever.pink lips  

Your loving sister, Kim.

Click Video & Scroll Down Photos

 
 
 
 

 

Kim Sisto Robinson


 

…..our last photo together

 

My sister was murdered on May 26, 2010 by Mike Peterson.  The world stopped.

~~~For support and more information please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or at TTY 1-800-787-3224.

~Read More About Kay Here:    In Memory of Kay

click here NOW : http://www.thehotline.org/get-help/help-in-your-area/

~~~~~Register Here for Kay’s Walk For Domestic Violence:   http://www.theduluthmodel.org/events.php


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40 Comments

  • Reply
    Tara
    April 11, 2011 at 7:42 am

    Wow, she was so beautiful. Happy Birthday, Kay. Only the finest roses for you.

    I love you, Kim. Thanks so much for sharing these images with us. Somehow – amidst the sorrow – they made me smile. Thinking of and praying for you…

    Love,
    Tara

    • Reply
      kim sisto robinson
      April 11, 2011 at 8:29 am

      soooo beautiful….
      her love overflows. still….
      into the universe. & into my soul.
      Love U.Tara xx

  • Reply
    Mercy
    April 11, 2011 at 7:46 am

    Hugs and love.

    Mercy

  • Reply
    elizabeth
    April 11, 2011 at 8:12 am

    Dear Kim,
    these pictures are so wonderful and I think my fave is Kay giving you a kiss. I know she will be showering you kisses today and is so thankful that the world will not forget Kay. Ever.
    sending lots of love and hugs to you my sweet friend. xxx elizabeth

    • Reply
      kim sisto robinson
      April 11, 2011 at 8:30 am

      Yes! Her lips…those big lips upon my cheek.
      I shall feel that again someday !
      Love to you, my lovely friend, Elizabeth.

  • Reply
    Alina
    April 11, 2011 at 8:47 am

    Happy Birthday Beautiful Kay. You are missed.

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      April 11, 2011 at 9:14 am

      Oh, Alina,
      I never knew what “Missed” really meant until now.
      xxx Kisses to youl.

  • Reply
    Joan
    April 11, 2011 at 9:40 am

    Hugs to you, Kim, on this difficult day. Celebrate Kay’s short life. She was beautiful, just as was my sister. I don’t know why that makes a difference but it does seem as if the beautiful women are the victims. I will think of you all day.

    • Reply
      kim sisto robinson
      April 11, 2011 at 1:13 pm

      ~~~~Dear, Joan, every day is difficult..as you know…
      but today more than ever.
      We were together always. always.
      And someday we will be together again…
      I look forward to that day. 🙂 xxxx love to you….

  • Reply
    Annette
    April 11, 2011 at 11:17 am

    Happy Birthday Kay, I still have it on my calendar that today is your birthday, I will never forget. I have dreams about you. I miss you. Love your friend always, Annette

    Thank you Kim for writing and all the pictures.

    Love to you and your family, Annette

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      April 11, 2011 at 1:21 pm

      Dear, Annette,
      Thank you for your kind words…I shall pass them
      onto my family. xxx
      Love to you, Kim.

  • Reply
    Cheryl`Lewis
    April 11, 2011 at 12:26 pm

    I ache.

    Every day.

    And, on some days, I also smile.

    Today, I smile for Kay – and ache for you. She is all about joy – I believe this of where she is – and, one day, you will share it, again. Until then, we will ache a lot and smile a bit, too.

    Love you, Kim. In lotsa big ways.

    Hugs,
    Cheryl

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      April 11, 2011 at 1:20 pm

      I said to my daddy,
      “You know, Kay is finally happy today…being away from that man.”
      Yes, This is true. Finally away from that pathetic man…
      It is a VERY Sad day for us.
      But a Joyous day for her..
      Thanks, Cheryl…for all of your words & love 🙂 xxx Big Kiss

  • Reply
    Tia
    April 11, 2011 at 12:33 pm

    Dear Kim and Kay, so many memories of talking about our future, our goals, our God, our children, and our families. NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, did I think last year on Kay’s birthday would be our last together on this earth. I am so, so sad. My heart aches.

    I Love You Both Sooooooooooooo Much!

    • Reply
      kim sisto robinson
      April 11, 2011 at 1:14 pm

      So sad. So very sad.
      I thank God I have you, Tia….
      My heart breaks for our GREAT loss. Our Massive Loss of SO much love.
      xxx Love you Always.

  • Reply
    Dad
    April 11, 2011 at 12:38 pm

    My Darling Kim —————— How beautiful those pitcures are, I guess if I had to pick out the one that I liked
    the best, I liked the one of all of us————— The best one, I would have to agree with Elizabeth is Kay Kissing
    you. She loved you so much.
    HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAY
    I Love You
    Pop

    • Reply
      kim sisto robinson
      April 11, 2011 at 1:16 pm

      Dear, Daddy,
      She loved you more than anybody.
      And We will all be together once again
      …..this is what spurs me forward.
      I love yoiu more than Mom’s Chocolate Cake !

  • Reply
    susan boswell
    April 11, 2011 at 6:21 pm

    What a BEEEEEEE-UTIFUL girl! Kay is so lovely. Thank you so much for sharing the photos. There is a lump in my throat and a tear in my eye for you and your sister today. 🙁 Yours is one of the truly great love stories.
    Hugs, wine, kisses and all good stuff.
    Your second biggest fan- S

    • Reply
      kim sisto robinson
      April 11, 2011 at 7:38 pm

      Oh,Susan,
      Yes, a great love story.
      The more one loves….the more one hurts.
      ~~That’s the Rub….
      You are such a sweet person. 🙂 xxxxx

  • Reply
    Heather
    April 11, 2011 at 7:48 pm

    Thinking of you and Kay today Kim. Your love for each other is such testament that life transcends beyond all things we can comprehend. I’m with Susan on the wine and kisses – throw in some chocolate too.

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      April 11, 2011 at 8:06 pm

      Dear, Heather,
      “life transcends beyond all things we can comprehend”
      ~~~~Very beautiful words.
      Thank you…Yes, wine most definitely helps. xxxx

  • Reply
    debbie
    April 11, 2011 at 10:47 pm

    Dear Kim.

    I’m sure today was very painful for everyone, because it’s been on my
    mind for a couple wks..||I love the picof the 3 of you in front of the Christ-
    mas tree. You were all so cute! I love you!

    Debbie
    XXXOOO

    • Reply
      kim sisto robinson
      April 12, 2011 at 5:41 am

      ~Oh, i think those days from my childhood hurt the most…
      I miss my sweet sister so so so much
      Living is so much harder & quite bitter…
      love you, Debbie xxxx

  • Reply
    Charlene
    April 12, 2011 at 5:54 am

    So beautiful Kim. I’ve always loved that picture where she’s kissing you. My heart aches for you my friend. All of our hearts ache for you. Love, Love, LOVE you.
    xoxoxo, Charlene

    • Reply
      kim sisto robinson
      April 12, 2011 at 6:00 am

      ~~Charlene,
      I thank God for WORDS & PoETRY & GOD…
      and friends like you.
      My heart is broken…but I am living living living.
      Love to you, My dear Friend. xxx

  • Reply
    Lorraine @ Not Quite Nigella
    April 12, 2011 at 6:21 am

    Kim, a beautiful post full of wonderful memories. You can tell that she was a very special person.

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      April 12, 2011 at 6:29 am

      Soooo Beautiful…. The most beautiful person I have ever ever known. (inside mostly) I shall never know anybody like that again…

      PS. Lorraine, do you have a badge for my blog. I would like to place this on my front page…..Your site is my favorite blog (EVER)….I wanted to tell U that. I’d like others to experience it, too.

      Thanks xxx

  • Reply
    LBDDiaries
    April 12, 2011 at 9:50 pm

    What a perfect song to visit with Kay through pictures by. It’s kind of like a birthday party – we celebrated and enjoyed her. You both are beautiful, inside and out.

  • Reply
    kim sisto robinson
    April 13, 2011 at 5:45 am

    Dear LB.
    Kay was so beautiful from the inside.
    Nobody loved like that…cared about people like that.
    I miss miss miss her.
    I am less without her….
    And we must talk sometime….I’d love to talk with you dear Nan.

  • Reply
    Psycho Basher
    April 13, 2011 at 10:03 am

    Dearest Kim

    She is such a lovely person and now a very beautiful angel that watches over you.
    I saw your Dad’s not to you. I choked on my tears.

    And you stay beautiful too, loving and generous, because I truly believe she lives in you and through you.

    Take care always sweetie.
    Kisses,
    Petite

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      April 13, 2011 at 3:30 pm

      ~~~Psycho Basher,
      The most horrible thing about losing your soul-mate is that
      they take part of you with them…
      That is the hardest part.
      Living without them is the hardest, most painful part.
      But Damn it, I’m trying.
      I’m trying.
      Every day is a new day, I guess.
      Love to you and your beautiful words…..

  • Reply
    Sheri
    April 14, 2011 at 10:48 am

    What a beautiful tribute to your beautiful sister. My sister’s birthday is today and I’m making her a blueberry cheesecake. I will hug her extra hard and be ever more grateful that, even though we don’t always get along very well, she is still in my life.

    Hugs to you and thank you for your sweet comment on my blog.

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      April 14, 2011 at 2:00 pm

      Oh,hug your sister hard.
      and enjoy the blueberry cheesecake 🙂
      I can’t wait to hug my sister again in Heaven.
      Love to you. XXX K.

  • Reply
    Beryl
    April 16, 2011 at 3:02 pm

    I’ve been without internet for several days as I break in my new computer. I love it now, but, what a job it was downloading everything including my Outlook Files. Just loaded my Norton Security system enabling me to pay a belated visit to Kay on her birthday. Kim, the first of every holiday, celebration, anniversary is so incredibly painful. So too the second, third, fourth and so on. You honor your sister in so many ways that your love traverses miles into our hearts. The collection of photos is so very wonderful. You must have spent a lot of time searching albums and scanning in those older photos. I send you a huge hug. By the way, On June 2, Lake Superior Port Cities Inc is hosting a book launch for my “A View of the Lake.” Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you could join me there? I’ll let them know I’ve invited you.

    • Reply
      kim sisto robinson
      April 16, 2011 at 4:25 pm

      ~~~~Oh, Beryl,
      As you know, it was very difficult on Kay’s birthday, & of course, every day…
      but that day was especially painful without celebrating her special day with her by my side…
      I hope I can make it on June 2!!! Can you send me more information about times etc….?

      XXX Love love love.
      Can’t wait to read your new book:)

  • Reply
    Cate
    April 16, 2011 at 10:47 pm

    Oh Kim – huge hugs and love from over here in NZ. Your pics made your sister real to those of us out here in the cyber-world, and our thoughts are with you and your family at this time.

    What a beautiful girl!

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      April 17, 2011 at 6:59 am

      Cate, she was the most beautiful girl in the world…..mostly from the INSIDE.
      I shall never stop talking about her story & her great love…
      XXXX Kisses directly to NZ!

  • Reply
    Marie Talerico
    April 21, 2011 at 3:40 pm

    Kim thank you for acknowleding my message. Denny took me up to oneioda cemetary to see Kays grave I Was so touched. I lost my dad and my mom 1995 1998 it was hard but I got through. It sure seems like you and Kay were the perfect team. Your smiles when you are together are so beautiful. I hope you can come to Bethany on Easter sunday. I want to meet you and give you the biggest hug. Much love in our Fathers name. Marie Talerico

  • Reply
    kim sisto robinson
    April 21, 2011 at 3:49 pm

    ~Dear Marie,
    We were the Perfect Team….
    Yes, that’s so true.
    She was Me.
    I was her.
    We were intertwined & connected in
    so many ways.
    From the same tree—-the same womb.
    Thank you for your lovely thoughts, prayers, and kindness. xx

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