Kim's Blogs

Carefree Days. Wild Nights.

 ~I once knew a dude named Vito.  He worked for Carnival Cruise Lines.  He was an Italian Officer, a big shot, a womanizer, a smooth cat…

  And a rat. 

 Do you remember the film, “Officer and the Gentleman?”  They are not really gentleman.  I know because I worked for Carnival Cruise Lines for two years…

And I know the truth.   The whole truth.

I never really understood what Vito did on the ship……. you know, his line of work and all.

 I guess being a handsome Italian Officer Was his profession.   All I knew for sure was that Vito and his fellow officers were in the club every night picking up passengers. And I swear, I was told by a reliable source that “picking up chicks,”  flirting  with them, and asking them to dance was part of their job description.

I recall the elderly grandmas, the ugly ducklings, the lonely women desiring attention, and the single college girls giggling like fools at Vito’s jokes. 

Hell, the guy barely spoke a word of English, but it sounded oh-so-sexy when he’d utter  sentences like…. “Come Sei Bella (how beautiful you are) or Voglio fare sesso Conte,” (I want to make sex with you).  The women would snicker and cackle  and get all red in the cheeks….and I’d think to myself,

You are all complete dumb asses?”

My pit boss, Jax, was sleeping with the Captain.  She walked around the casino as if she were Queen of Sheba, as if she owned every blackjack table and roulette wheel in the joint.  She might as well of had a sign on her back screaming, “Look at me.  I’m sleeping with the freaking  captain!

Yeah, you heard me right—the old guy that navigates this vessel, babe.”

 I heard through the grape vine that Jax had been dating Captain Stubing for about one year; that he was VERY married, and that he thought her teeth were revolting,  so he paid big bucks to have all of them capped in Miami. 

 Jax’s teeth were perfect after that.

Quite honestly, after hearing that story, I felt a bit differently about Jax.  I felt sorry for her.  Sorry that she was dating an ass-wipe that didn’t think her teeth were good enough for him.


The Casino Girls (we were called) couldn’t dance in the ship’s night club.  We had to sit there watching as Vito and all of his married, cheating, male chauvinist Italian friends seduced the female passengers one by one with their white smiles, smooth dialect, and cool swaggers.

From another source (I had several sources) I heard the Officers had a massive chart in their quarters with the names of  several women they had sweet talked into their Italian- 500- count –silk sheets. 

I never did see that sex-chart …. but I believe it to be utterly and absolutely true.

A few years after leaving the ship, I was informed that Jax and Captain Stubing had broken up.  Perhaps he found another young thang to worship the ground he walked on, kiss his ego, and stroke his adorable wrinkles….. Perhaps he paid for a boob job to make her worthy of his company.

At times… I still wonder about Vito. 

 He was different than the rest, a bit more thoughtful, a bit more female.

 In the photo below you will see Nikki, Vito, and myself.  Vito actually treated us both for dinner in Cozumel.  We ordered stuffed calzones &  fruity Sangria. We had stimulating conversation about life…..  And yes, Vito was an perfect gentleman. 

 If it were not so,  I would have told you.

Light-hearted Days.   Wild nights.   The rest…I don’t remember.   Too bad life does not continue to be completely Carefree…..

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  • Reply
    January 13, 2011 at 5:20 pm

    You are so beautiful, Kim! Just reading this put me right on a cruise ship, dancing in a club and feeling the warm sun on my shoulders as I wait out the next morning’s hangover on deck. I LOVE YOU! Don’t stop writing these blogs, EVER. xoxo

  • Reply
    January 13, 2011 at 6:34 pm

    Look at you, You are a hottie! I agree the carefree days are when one is young and life seems exhilarating. We do not appreciate those days until we are older and have loved and lost loved ones. Not until then, do we realize what a precious gift those carefree times were. Now, just getting out of bed in the morning is a chore, all of its own.
    Love ya,

  • Reply
    Kelly Skinner
    January 13, 2011 at 8:27 pm

    I love your writing so much. I haven’t been on Skirt in a while, but every time I get on there, I always hope I’ll find something recent that you’ve written. I missed this blog the first time around and it’s fantastic. It conjured so many memories for me from the three months I spent in Italy. They were ALL like Vito. Not generalizing here. I guess the fact that the guys in the town new that the American girls would sleep with them and that a new batch would come in three months later only fueled the fire. Love the photos too.
    Kelly Skinner

  • Reply
    January 14, 2011 at 5:41 am

    tell Vito to call me. 🙂 xxx elizabeth

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      January 15, 2011 at 12:00 pm

      Ha Ha Ha! xx

  • Reply
    January 14, 2011 at 7:29 am

    How did Dave and you ever get such a fun job like that? You should have put the picture up of you and the girls and you were wearing those fabulous harlem pants, PS I FINALLY FOUND A PAIR!!!!!! No wonder you don’t like gambling, being around it for those few years, I’d hate it too! 🙂

  • Reply
    Autism United
    January 14, 2011 at 9:21 am

    Glad to be one of the visitants on this awing internet site : D.

  • Reply
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    January 14, 2011 at 3:40 pm

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  • Reply
    January 14, 2011 at 9:28 pm

    Kim, I’ve always wanted to go on a cruise…thanks for taking me. What fun it was, such a pity it only lasted the few minutes it took me to read this : ( Love your writing! -GinaV

  • Reply
    January 15, 2011 at 11:27 am

    Well one good thing that happen on the ship is that you met Dave. All the good looking italian
    men on the ship, and you wound up with a englishman.(thank God for that).

    • Reply
      Kim Sisto-Robinson
      January 15, 2011 at 12:00 pm

      I looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove you more than chocolate, Daddy.

  • Reply
    January 16, 2011 at 6:54 am

    Kim, this was hilarious. Remind me to never date anyone who works on a cruise line. “I want to make sex with you.” Hilarious. Love you, as always.

  • Reply
    calvin frank
    January 17, 2011 at 3:40 pm

    Have you consider starting an monthly news letter. It would take your site to its potential.

  • Reply
    Comus Inn
    January 22, 2011 at 1:24 am

    Thanks for the entry. I almost passed your site up in Ask but now I’m glad I clicked the link and got to read through it. I’m definitely a little better informed now. I’ll be sharing your site with some other people I know. They’ll get a kick out of what I just read too. LOL. –Matt

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