~I once knew a dude named Vito. He worked for Carnival Cruise Lines. He was an Italian Officer, a big shot, a womanizer, a smooth cat…
And a rat.
Do you remember the film, “Officer and the Gentleman?” They are not really gentleman. I know because I worked for Carnival Cruise Lines for two years…
And I know the truth. The whole truth.
I never really understood what Vito did on the ship……. you know, his line of work and all.
I guess being a handsome Italian Officer Was his profession. All I knew for sure was that Vito and his fellow officers were in the club every night picking up passengers. And I swear, I was told by a reliable source that “picking up chicks,” flirting with them, and asking them to dance was part of their job description.
I recall the elderly grandmas, the ugly ducklings, the lonely women desiring attention, and the single college girls giggling like fools at Vito’s jokes.
Hell, the guy barely spoke a word of English, but it sounded oh-so-sexy when he’d utter sentences like…. “Come Sei Bella” (how beautiful you are) or “Voglio fare sesso Conte,” (I want to make sex with you). The women would snicker and cackle and get all red in the cheeks….and I’d think to myself,
“You are all complete dumb asses?”
My pit boss, Jax, was sleeping with the Captain. She walked around the casino as if she were Queen of Sheba, as if she owned every blackjack table and roulette wheel in the joint. She might as well of had a sign on her back screaming, “Look at me. I’m sleeping with the freaking captain!
Yeah, you heard me right—the old guy that navigates this vessel, babe.”
I heard through the grape vine that Jax had been dating Captain Stubing for about one year; that he was VERY married, and that he thought her teeth were revolting, so he paid big bucks to have all of them capped in Miami.
Jax’s teeth were perfect after that.
Quite honestly, after hearing that story, I felt a bit differently about Jax. I felt sorry for her. Sorry that she was dating an ass-wipe that didn’t think her teeth were good enough for him.
The Casino Girls (we were called) couldn’t dance in the ship’s night club. We had to sit there watching as Vito and all of his married, cheating, male chauvinist Italian friends seduced the female passengers one by one with their white smiles, smooth dialect, and cool swaggers.
From another source (I had several sources) I heard the Officers had a massive chart in their quarters with the names of several women they had sweet talked into their Italian- 500- count –silk sheets.
I never did see that sex-chart …. but I believe it to be utterly and absolutely true.
A few years after leaving the ship, I was informed that Jax and Captain Stubing had broken up. Perhaps he found another young thang to worship the ground he walked on, kiss his ego, and stroke his adorable wrinkles….. Perhaps he paid for a boob job to make her worthy of his company.
At times… I still wonder about Vito.
He was different than the rest, a bit more thoughtful, a bit more female.
In the photo below you will see Nikki, Vito, and myself. Vito actually treated us both for dinner in Cozumel. We ordered stuffed calzones & fruity Sangria. We had stimulating conversation about life….. And yes, Vito was an perfect gentleman.