Kim's Blogs

~Dialougue With Barbie


Barbie:  Hey little girl, thanks for buying me.

Little Girl: Mommy did.  Is your real name Barbie?

Barbie:  What did you expect, Paris?

Little Girl:  You’re pretty.  Am I gonna look like you when I grow up?

Barbie:  Sure, little girl, if you get your lips pumped up like Angelina Jolie, your chin sliced off, and your face stretched to the Canadian Provinces.

Little Girl: You have nice boobies, Barbie.

Barbie:  Well, I should, little girl, I payed big bucks for ‘um.  You see, people are more interested in your boobies than what you have to say.

Little Girl:  Can I get some?

Barbie:  Sure, why not.  But wait until you’re at least fifteen.  Boys like that. A lot.

Little Girl:  I wanna be skinny like you, Barbie.

Barbie:  You can, little girl!  Drink gallons of water, eat laxatives, (some come in chocolate) and stick your little fingers down your throat.

Little Girl: Wanna play house with me?

Barbie:  Oh, I’ve been playing house for a long time now, little girl.  When you meet a rich man to take care of you, you can play house, too.

Little Girl:  You’re old Barbie, why dont you have a job?

Barbie:   I never went to college because I went to Hollywood instead, and anyhow, little girl, I AM, after all,   Barbie.  And stop calling me old!

Little Girl: Do you still date Ken?

Barbie:  Yeah, sure, Ken and all the other dolls, too. Haven’t you heard of rainbow parties? DUh…

Little Girl:  How come you don’t got no hair down there like mommy does?

Barbie: Well, apparently mommy can’t afford a Brazilian Wax.

Little Girl:  Mommy told me I can be anything I want when I grow up.

Barbie:  That’s true, little girl.  Just look at me.  I strut my little ass around doing absolutely nothing, you know, like Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian, and you idiots pay me for it.  All I need to do is look beautiful and fit into a negative 0.   Oh, by the way, where am I going to live; in my Barbie house, my pink convertible, Ken’s place? 

Little Girl:  I don’t like playing with you anymore, Barbie.  I’m reeeeeeally, reeeeeally booooored. You’re just a piece of yucky plastic.  I’m going to pull your head off and throw you in the garbage can.

Barbie:  NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Where shall I go?     What shall I do?

Little Girl:  You’re Barbie.        I’m just a little girl. You figure it out.


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7 Comments

  • Reply
    Alina
    January 12, 2011 at 8:18 am

    lmfao…I’m somewhat confused! I never liked Barbie…except Holiday Barbie’s because I collected them.

  • Reply
    kim sisto robinson
    January 12, 2011 at 9:31 am

    Alina, What are U Confused about???????? xx

    • Reply
      Alina
      January 12, 2011 at 10:54 am

      lol, is barbie a bimbo? I don’t get it. hahahaha, I thought that because of the reference to Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian which btw I think is repulsive!!!!!!

  • Reply
    Dad
    January 12, 2011 at 1:03 pm

    I,M really not into dolls…….

  • Reply
    Tia
    January 13, 2011 at 6:20 pm

    I love it Kim. I get it! As woman we always are trying to be what we are not. What does not exist, perfection, but in whose eyes. As woman we need to celebrate our differences, our uniqueness, celebrate ourselves. We do not need to become what society thinks is perfect. We are perfect as ourselves. Celebrate you because you are the only you in this world.
    Love it, Love you,
    Tia

  • Reply
    Misty Kapadia
    January 31, 2011 at 3:02 pm

    Really cool written post ,… I think I will bookmark it :>

  • Reply
    Nan @ lbddiaries
    August 28, 2017 at 2:52 pm

    Just saw this and IT ROCKS!! You hit the nail (painted glittering pink) on the head! I love your twisted mind. A lot!

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