Kim's Blogs

MY DAD LOVES SARAH PALIN


 { -for my dad who reads every single blog I write and still adores me!  I love you more than melted hot fudge chocolate drizzled over triple chocolate ice cream.}

~~~My Dad is My Hero

Even though he’s so far RIGHT that he fell off the ledge!— Even though I voted Obama and he voted McCain— Even thought he loves Glen Beck and Bill O’Reilly and I love Hilary Clinton and Michael Moore.

       He says Tomato.  I say To-mah-to.

My dad thinks I’m a bit outrageous and rebellious and a liberal feminist.  I think some of his conservative ideas are utterly bizarre.  For example, he believes Sarah Palin is brilliant . He believes she is as American and Scrumptious as Apple Pie. Truth be told,  he’s already forwarded his ballot for Palin’s Presidency for 2012.

  You’re darn tootin’ he did.    For sure.

Therefore for Christmas this year, I bought him “Going Rouge.”

I ran up to Barnes and Noble to purchase the last copy.  I snatched that baby up and sprinted to the counter before anybody could see me. 

Honesty, I am not happy about spending $24 dollars for Palin to buy additional bullets  to murder unfortunate moose and bear and furry little critters with big brown eyes. 

I. Am. Not.  But it’s for my Daaaaddy.

When Dad un-wraps the book Christmas Eve, he says, “Now that is one beeeautiful woman.”

   “So, you like it?”

 I turn to Sis with a smirk that exclaims…“Top that one Biaaach!”

You see, Sis and I are continually competing for dad’s attention and approval even though we are 40ishhhy-and-non-of-your-damn-business.

EXAMPLE:  last year I found him a trendy, funky pepper grinder at TJ Max.  When Sis saw it, she bought him one that  was five times LARGER and ten times hipper.  I swear to god, it looked like something the Jolly Green Giant would use.

   So ….

Dad finished “Going Rouge” last week.

He calls me immediately after the last page and unhappily and disappointedly remarks, “Kim, I don’t get it. The book was completely negative and crammed with vile things about Sarah Palin.  Why would she write something like this about herself?  Are you sure you bought the right book?”

  I Google while I have him on the line.

Yes, indeed, there are two books.  I suddenly get a tickle directly inside the center of my esophagus.

One is called “Going Rouge, an American Life” and the other is called “Going Rouge, an American Nightmare.”

The irony makes me giggle and snort like a schoolgirl.

   “Guess what, Dad? You’re not going to believe this…”'Going Rouge,' a Palin memoir lookalike, will be released on the same day as 'Going Rogue.' CAN THEY DO THAAAT?


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