Dedicated to Kay Marie who has given me the best days of my life…………………
~In sixth grade I was cursed with big breasts, and believe me, I Was Not happy about it. Not one single bit. You know the way some girls get all elxcited and idiotic declaring, “Hey, Mommy, I have some boobies now, can we please, please, please go pick out some cool, lacy, colorful bras at Target?”
I was not one of those girls.
In fact, I wore a faded Calvin Klein jean jacket to hide those babies most of the time, pretend they weren’t there, and hoped to God they’d disappear overnight. No such luck. They just kept damn well grooowing.
In the midst of the Twiggy lookalikes with taut perky ta-tas (Sue Rangy, I hate your guts) and girls who could go braless in gym class (Ms. Turnbloom was a Nazi bitch) I stood out like a circus freak. (At least I wasn’t the fat lady) that came later.
I still remember Turnbloom’s dark mustache twitching; her booming voice screeching like the Beast from “Beauty & the Beast,”… “Nobody is getting in the showers until Sisto does the rest of her jumping jacks.”
:::Sigh:::
To this day, I believe Turnbloom wore long sleeves to hide the Swastika hidden discreetly beneath her massive Hulk Hogan arms.
Do you have any idea how difficult it is performing jumping jacks when one is well endowed and pissed off about that particular endowment in the first place?
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