Kim's Blogs

UNDRESSING. METAPHORICALLY SPEAKING THAT IS.


My girlfriends give me heaps of content and material for my blogs.

 For instance, the blog I wrote about Jax, called “Brazilian Wax, Oh My,” is my most popular blog…. so I call her in Minneapolis and utter excitedly, “Hey, I wrote a blog about you that people really dig.  Check it out on my site. And  call me right back!”

I waited and waited.  She never called back. 

I begin questioning myself.  Should I have censored the stuff I said about the wet t-shirt contest, the waxing, her buttocks,  her vagina?  Should I be calling my friends before I write about them, ask permission?   Could I be sued? I really should change the names to protect the innocent.

  I should.  I really should I guess.

Anywho, Jax left a message on my answering machine about three weeks later.  “I read the story,” she said quite seriously.  “Just to inform you, Kim, I was not in a wet t-shirt contest.  I would neeeever do that.  It was a ‘hot legs’ contest.  Call me back.”

I did not call her back…cuz  I was scaaaaared. 

I’m thinking, “Well, Excuuuuuuuuuuuse Me.   Wet t-shirt, hot legs contest,…. is there really a difference?”  Is there a  big distinction between nipples and legs?    What does she have to be ashamed of?  She’s gorgeous.

Am I exposing too much?  Should I change the names?  What do these people want? 

So, Tony calls and says, “I want to tell you something about what I did last night.  You would loooooove this story.  But I swear to God, if you put this in your blog, I’m going to kick your ass. And believe me when I say, If you write a blog about it…

I WILL SEE IT.  AND I WILL KICK YOUR ASS.

I am flabbergasted.  “Are you kidding me?  Would I do that?”    I mean, who does she think I am? 

“Yes, you would.  You most definitely would.” 

It’s like obsessive bloggers begin documenting their entire lives for others to see; almost like they’re allowing people (strangers) to peek inside their windows, watch them undress.  Taking a bra off here, nylons off there (metaphorically speaking)…. but isn’t that what ‘true writers’ do…. 

 Tell the truth?     Write all the juicy shit down?

So, hubby and I are watching television the other night.  Showbiz Tonight.  Anyhow, they say some star broke up with her boyfriend because he revealed some intimate details about their sex life on he blog.  I start laughing.  My husband looks at me like I’m wacky.

  He does this often.

“What’s up?” He asks, his eyes flicking pins into me.  I feel the prickling against my skin.  “Do you write about us in your blog?”

“Nope, but I write about everybody else.” I say.

 Then I add,   “But I did write that I dreamed about Brad Pitt, George Bush, and Bono.”

“George Bush?”

  “The younger one,”  I admit.

In any case, I talked to Jax recently and apologized for the comment about the wet t-shirt.  She tells me not to worry about it. 

 “Oh!   I must tell you about my balloons breaking?” She yells over the phone.  

 I’m intrigued; another blog, perhaps.

 “Well”, she goes on to tell me, “My silicone started to seep out while I was giving a presentation at work.” 

You see, Jax is quite “blog-worthy!” I think she should take this as a compliment,  don’t you?  I mean, the opposite of this would be BORING!

Look for a soon to be released blog, “Seeping Silicone.

Just kidding.

As Carrie Bradshaw would ask:  When is enough…Enough?   Or for that matter…Is it ever enough?


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1 Comment

  • Reply
    Charlene
    November 29, 2010 at 6:27 pm

    It’s NEVER enough Kim! But I am always careful to change my friend’s names. Even though of course they know it’s them at least they can deny it to the masses! Mwah! Great blog!

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