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In Memory of Kay

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In Memory of Kay

KimKay-That’s How It Always Was

 

~~~~~~In the beginning, there was you.

You loving me. You interwoven inside my being like my own blood pumping thru my body

You never judging my bad judgment. You hurrying to my house on 65st and Cody when I lost my job, my uterus, my mind. You sending flowers for weird occasions like when I got my wisdom teeth out!

Always, “YOU.”

KimKay. That’s how it was. Remember?

Nobody ever appreciated me like you, believed in me like you.

Loved me like you.

I haven’t seen your face for 3297 days, Kay.

Losing you has been the blackest, darkest, ugliest, saddest time of my life.

But it’s also been a time of reflection & vibrant light; a time of purpose and meaning; a time of knowing the presence of God.

OH, and I REALLY miss telling you my secrets. Who can I spill my guts to now? Who can I be honest with? Who will still accept me?

For example, I went quite insane after your execution. I tried to become an alcoholic, but I hated not remembering. I tried to become suicidal, but the love on life was more powerful than the love of death.

I tried reading your journals, but every page, every sentence burned into my skin like acid.

I wrote words to fill the void. I wrote syllables to ease the sting.

I kept writing and writing until even my organs emptied out…

My liver falling to the yellowed tiled floor.

There will never be enough words to make me whole again.

IloveyouImissyouIloveyou.

Sometimes when I’m lying in bed, my heart thrusts so damn loudly that it startles me.

I know it’s a reminder, just in case I’ve forgotten, that I’m Alive.

And here’s another secret you may not know, Kay– I’m living without you, but you’re still here, your soft pink cheek pressed against my cheek; your voice whispering inside my ears.

You see, that’s the thing about death; you’re never really gone. The love remains inside, outside, and in-between the betweenness.

I find that astonishingly, amazingly beautiful. Don’t you?

~~~~Are you being abused verbally, physically, sexually, emotionally?

Help is available.

You. Are. Loved.

KIMKayForever

National Hotline: 1 800 799 7233
Safe Haven in Duluth: 1 218 623 1000
CASDA in Wisconsin: 1 800 649  2921

Kick Ass Books Kim's Blogs

11 Books You Should Read (just because I said so)

“I shall be miserable if I have not an excellent library.” – Jane Austen

 

1. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou: If you want to read a book by Angelou, let it be this one. She writes about her difficult childhood, working with Martin Luther King Jr, the multifaceted relationship with her mother, and her unorthodox friendship with Billy Holiday. Oh, so scandalous! After reading Caged Bird, I guarantee you’ll be addicted forever to Angelou’s voice.

Image result for i know why the caged bird sings

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HELLO, I’m Still Here

Hello, my darlings.

A quick note that I’m trying to figure out my new WordPress site.

I’m still here just incase you’ve imagined I’ve disappeared into thin air.

I’ve miss you more than Dove Chocolate.

Fondly,

My Inner Chick ( Kim )

Love from Duluth, Minnesota. xxxxxxxx
In Memory of Kay Kim's Blogs

The Day of My Sister’s Funeral & ee cummings

 

( For Kay and every single woman who has ever been caged )

~~~~~When the devil executed my sister, it was like any other day.

I was mowing the lawn, listening to Ken Follett’s, Pillars of the Earth on my headset. I was at the part where the young boys in the castle were throwing rocks at poor, innocent cats just because they could. I was baking mandarin chicken in the oven for dinner. The sun was warm and luminous upon my face.

I received the call at 5:15 PM. “Did you hear…did you know…He shot…Mike killed Kay…Your sister K-k is dead….”

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Kim's Blogs

8 People Who Blow My Tiger Socks Off!

Having influence is not about elevating self, but about lifting others.

Sheri Dew

 

 

Elizabeth Berg: I’ve termed Berg my hot fudge sundae author, which means her words taste good and cause you to say Ahhhh, Ooooo, Yessss. I’ve read all of her books more than once, including Talk before Sleep, The Day I Ate Whatever I wanted, Pull of the Moon, Open House & Home Safe. She says what women want to say before we say it. ( Pull of the Moon is my favorite )

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